Getting a jump on Valentines day.
I know it's not Valentines day yet, but considering the inordinate amount of people who have talked to me about about the holiday in the last 24 hours I figure I might as well get a jump on it.
Firstly, I am single and tend to be a very angry bitter person. These two facts constitute enough for a reasonable person to assume that I'm likely to bitch about Valentines day, how it's a stupid holiday, how lonely I am, how I hate lovey-dovey couples, etc. And because I appear to be a likely candidate for such a rant people feel comfortable approaching me with their own personal variation of it. I typically respond to these people with two questions. Who are you? And why do you feel the need to tell me this while we're waiting in line for the keg? So just to set the record straight; I'm completely indifferent towards the holiday. Sure Valentines day is stupid, but if it gives people an excuse to do something nice for their partner, heh, good for them.
I know I've said this before but given the upcoming holiday I figure I'll give the subject of love yet another treatment. Every known culture in the world recognizes the emotion that we think of as romantic love. But it's interesting to note that in many cultures love does not enjoy the same positive connotations that it does in ours as some sort of undeniable truth, pure, and wonderful. Some cultures go so far as to think of love as a bout of temporary insanity and as a result they tend to practice arranged marriages. And assuming that line of reasoning, when you think about it, arranged marriages make sense; when you're temporarily insans you shouldn't be making important decisions like who you are going to spend the rest of your life with. Those types of decisions are best left to your parents who have some experience in that area.
For me personally, I tend take a middle of the road approach. I have a hard time conceiving romantic love as an inherently positive thing. The idea of investing so much of yourself, your emotional state, your thoughts, and the rest of your life, into another human seems to me to be ill-advised at best. And while the argument is commonly made that love is worth it because the resulting relationship is the most rewarding thing you can experience doesn't really seem to hold much water when you consider how many single people live rich and fulfilling lives without what is supposedly the most rewarding of human experiences.
So that begs the question; why bother? A cynic might say "to get laid". But if the point is simply to get your rocks off there are much easier, less time consuming methods than devoting your life to another person. So maybe the answer is that it's an addiction. I mean, despite my current aversion to the idea of romantic love even I have to admit that I enjoy having someone close to me. It's nice, its comforting, and in many cases I can become quite attached. So maybe it's people getting addicted to that feeling, they start upping the dose until they feel completely attached to another person and the emotion they cause. Sort of like when your drinking, and you have a few beers and they make you feel pretty good, so you have a few more, and a few more. Keep it up long enough and you've got an addiction to alcohol. The comparison doesn't seem much more far fetched than the argument that love is a bout of temporary insanity.
I don't say this to be disparaging. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a big fan of addictions; there is no smile brighter than that of a junky who just got his fix (for me it's a case of Pabst and a cup of coffee). And I don't say it to sound jaded. Nearly all my relationships were very positive experiences and I can't really think of any relationship I've had that ended on bad terms (at least to my knowledge, some of my ex-girlfriends might think differently). And to be honest I don't completely believe the above paragraph, but it does make for a fun comparison.
In any case. From one type of junkie to another, happy Valentines day to you all. Hope you all get your fix with a dose of the good stuff.
More Tom Waits....
More Todd Snider
"But surely it says 'love'!"
"No, it clearly says 'Wuv',with an earth 'W'! Behold!"
- Lur and N'nda rulers of the planet Omicron Persei 8
Firstly, I am single and tend to be a very angry bitter person. These two facts constitute enough for a reasonable person to assume that I'm likely to bitch about Valentines day, how it's a stupid holiday, how lonely I am, how I hate lovey-dovey couples, etc. And because I appear to be a likely candidate for such a rant people feel comfortable approaching me with their own personal variation of it. I typically respond to these people with two questions. Who are you? And why do you feel the need to tell me this while we're waiting in line for the keg? So just to set the record straight; I'm completely indifferent towards the holiday. Sure Valentines day is stupid, but if it gives people an excuse to do something nice for their partner, heh, good for them.
I know I've said this before but given the upcoming holiday I figure I'll give the subject of love yet another treatment. Every known culture in the world recognizes the emotion that we think of as romantic love. But it's interesting to note that in many cultures love does not enjoy the same positive connotations that it does in ours as some sort of undeniable truth, pure, and wonderful. Some cultures go so far as to think of love as a bout of temporary insanity and as a result they tend to practice arranged marriages. And assuming that line of reasoning, when you think about it, arranged marriages make sense; when you're temporarily insans you shouldn't be making important decisions like who you are going to spend the rest of your life with. Those types of decisions are best left to your parents who have some experience in that area.
For me personally, I tend take a middle of the road approach. I have a hard time conceiving romantic love as an inherently positive thing. The idea of investing so much of yourself, your emotional state, your thoughts, and the rest of your life, into another human seems to me to be ill-advised at best. And while the argument is commonly made that love is worth it because the resulting relationship is the most rewarding thing you can experience doesn't really seem to hold much water when you consider how many single people live rich and fulfilling lives without what is supposedly the most rewarding of human experiences.
So that begs the question; why bother? A cynic might say "to get laid". But if the point is simply to get your rocks off there are much easier, less time consuming methods than devoting your life to another person. So maybe the answer is that it's an addiction. I mean, despite my current aversion to the idea of romantic love even I have to admit that I enjoy having someone close to me. It's nice, its comforting, and in many cases I can become quite attached. So maybe it's people getting addicted to that feeling, they start upping the dose until they feel completely attached to another person and the emotion they cause. Sort of like when your drinking, and you have a few beers and they make you feel pretty good, so you have a few more, and a few more. Keep it up long enough and you've got an addiction to alcohol. The comparison doesn't seem much more far fetched than the argument that love is a bout of temporary insanity.
I don't say this to be disparaging. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a big fan of addictions; there is no smile brighter than that of a junky who just got his fix (for me it's a case of Pabst and a cup of coffee). And I don't say it to sound jaded. Nearly all my relationships were very positive experiences and I can't really think of any relationship I've had that ended on bad terms (at least to my knowledge, some of my ex-girlfriends might think differently). And to be honest I don't completely believe the above paragraph, but it does make for a fun comparison.
In any case. From one type of junkie to another, happy Valentines day to you all. Hope you all get your fix with a dose of the good stuff.
More Tom Waits....
Click to viewMore Todd Snider
"But surely it says 'love'!"
"No, it clearly says 'Wuv',with an earth 'W'! Behold!"
- Lur and N'nda rulers of the planet Omicron Persei 8