Would I ask for a smaller heart (I don' t want more, I just want better)?

Mar 26, 2009 01:03

Tonight I stared into the abyss, but it most certainly did not stare back ( Read more... )

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eldereft March 26 2009, 05:44:27 UTC
Loneliness in the face of beauty.

The experience of reveling in of utterly new emotions is part of why I am a transhumanist hedonist. Even if the emotional range is not extensible for anything remaining remotely human (a sad and lonely proposition), extending one's complexity horizon at least allows for appreciation of beauty where before only disjointed events were observed.

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paisleycat March 27 2009, 17:01:27 UTC
Totally. You get it.

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the_mad_laugher March 26 2009, 13:54:34 UTC
Let me respond to this from the perspective of someone who fell in love with Morrissey at the age of 18 and cried the first time I saw him, when I was 21.

I think what you're feeling is perfectly natural and not a depressing thing at all. If you're a smart, feeling teenager--even at the very tail end of your teenage years--one often uses music to define his or her emotional landscape, ESPECIALLY if such a person doesn't have many friends. As one's identity begins to manifest, and they realize that there are other, interesting people out there that they can relate to, the need for music as that sort of crutch escapes.

In other words, don't think of them as unthinking; perhaps they were just lost in their own emotional reverie and what that particular artist did for them at that stage in their lives.

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the_mad_laugher March 26 2009, 13:56:09 UTC
Sorry Meredith... I squished two ideas into one paragraph there and now that I'm reading it, it doesn't make much sense. What I was trying to say is that you shouldn't feel depressed about not feeling that way, you're just not at that stage in your life anymore.

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gothpanda March 26 2009, 17:01:59 UTC
It's the price of being older and more mature. The best thing about being young is having the whole world open to you, the possibilies truly endless. You can't have regrets because you haven't done anything!

I know how you feel. Every day I think back and feel old and lame, and I wonder what happened. If my teenaged self saw me now, she'd be pretty disappointed, but when you're a kid you just can't comprehend how hard it is to be an adult.

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paisleycat March 27 2009, 16:51:49 UTC
I don't think I want to be young, and I know I don't want to lose what precious self-awareness I've earned. I guess the post must sound sadder than I meant, or more yearning.

I choose thinking over feeling, experience over naivete, and a little bit of alienation and isolation in order to better see the world around me. I just get a touch weirded out by all things relating to fame, artist worship, and witnessing huge amounts of emotion. The Dresden Dolls/Amanda Palmer thing just taps it all at once.

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gothpanda March 27 2009, 17:27:32 UTC
I still know what you mean, LOL. When I was younger I was all into the idol worship thing, and now I've realized that celebs are just people. They eat and sleep and poop and really are famous due largely to luck. I think that realization also comes with maturity though.

I think that ignorance is bliss. I'd love to go back to being all naive and silly. I wish I could unlearn some of the things I've learned over the years. Ah, c'est la vie.

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