MEME: because then you might know me; part 2
Asked by dreamsofmazes
1. What is the reason Eames has the totem he does? (Assuming it is the poker chip)
It's not really a special story for Eames, just another run in with the tempest that was Malorie Miles. Dreamshare was new at the time and people were still figuring out what everything meant, how far they could take it and why certain things worked when others didnt. Eames, was never really interested in the academics of it all, because he took to his role like a fish to water, but Mallorie insisted that he listen to what the community at large was discovering. He'd let her ramble on about the possibility of an infinite subconscious and how it wasn't the somnacin but our own lost grip on reality that made the environment dangerous and that totems were the answer- and she'd snapped her fingers in front of his face and asked, "Ma puce, are you listening to me?"
He'd smiled and replied, "Non."
So she'd shoved him off the balcony and he woke up in her flat, crammed full with too many people (just the way she liked it) and vaguely wondering how his mind could conjure such a real representation of his head cracking on the pavement when he's only ever seen in happen in movies.
She woke up next to him with a raised eyebrow and asked, "How do you know this is real?"
He pulled his shirt out and shrugged, knowing she'd take it for what it was. I don't have breasts, so this must be reality.
"We have been asking you to do this for months," She'd groused, the furrow between her eyebrows (so rare that Eames was momentarily sorry for making it appear) forming. "Do this for me. Please. Find something."
Shoving his hand in his pockets, chastised and vaguely reprimanded, Eames felt the pokerchip in his pocket- a single chip he must have forgotten in this pair of slacks when he was in Cairo the morning previous, when he'd received Mallorie's request for both his presence and his skills. He'd figured it was as good as anything, and he'd have something to associate it to.
Only now does the memory associated with it strike him as morbidly ironic.
2. What does Eames want for the future? After he can no longer really do dream-sharing. (Hopes, goals all that... And not world peace)
Lol not even if he actually wanted world peace?? Well, FINE. If he can't be Gracie Hart he'll settle for more selfish desires. (But if he doesn't get Miss World because of you Ari, he'll be v v chuffed.)
Truly, Eames wants to have friends he can trust. Dreamshare is a difficult business but he likes to think that when all is said and done, he's going to have some kick ass Sunday brunches. He also wants to have a family. Probably more than that (though its not something he'd probably say straight out) is he wants to make a family with someone who has a family that accepts him as one of their own. He wants to be liked because after a while, being respected gets old. He'd like to get better at gambling or probably just quit all together (that doesnt include cards) and he'd like to fill a whole bookshelf with books he's taken the time to read. He'd like to have a small home in England and a couple holiday properties elsewhere (California? Greece? Spain?). He'd like to learn an instrument and maybe paint something that isn't an exact replica of something someone else has already painted. If he ever decided to work, it would need to be lenient and most likely self-employed- like tending a vineyard or something.
Though he knows he would have hated it when he was younger, he also wants to help someone out of a bad situation. He doesn't really know how he'd do it, but if he could help someone (be it financially or emotionally or anything, really) get through those tough couple decades between 3 and 23 he would feel like he really accomplished something. He also wants (very selfishly, and this is probably why he's afraid it won't happen) his children to love him. Not just the obligatory love of a child for a father who provided, but to have children that truly want to come back and stay with them for holidays and bring their significant other's back with them, hoping for Eames' (and his spouse's) approval, and all that stuff that proper fathers do for their children. He really wants to be a good dad and a good husband.
3. What really turns Eames on?
See number 5, part: Arthur's hands. Lol.
This is a HUGE question as A LOT OF STUFF turns Eames on. Confidence turns Eames on. Complexity turns Eames on. Juxtaposition turns Eames on. Roleplay turns Eames on. Confrontation turns Eames on. Toys turn Eames on. Sensuality turns Eames on. Strength of spirit turns Eames on. Words turn Eames on. Exploration, learning, talking- the list goes on and on.
But I guess, if you want a specific scenario of one thing that turns Eames on, we could definitely say teasing turns Eames on. He loves the tease of another person, flaunting what they know he wants but which he can't have right this moment. The thrill of the chase, the subtle direction and knowledge between two people that if the others weren't here I'd rip your clothes off and have my way with you right here, dirty ground and all is the kind of urgency and edging that Eames enjoys.
4. Something he would be embarrassed if anyone knew about.
HMM. Embarrassment would necessitate shame, something Eames has very little of. I guess he'd be embarrassed if people knew how much he wanted to be a good person. People expect the worst of him, and he's willing to take on that persona because it isn't true, but if people knew that he hoped to have a family one day, with children who looked up to him as a good person and as an even better dad, that might be embarrassing.
5. For every participant of the Inception job, what is his or her most attractive attribute?
Asked by loadedparadox
1. What did Eames wish for growing up? What did he want most?
To say Eames wanted a lot of things would be undermining the larger picture here. Growing up, Eames just wanted. No one in his town had enough to go around, least of all his family, so Eames could want a toy car in the same way he wanted a never-ending bowl of potato soup. It is, quite possibly, why he is a thief now. He never learned to discriminate between wants and needs, only that if he didn’t take whatever chance presented itself, he might be forced to go without.
What he wished for, on the other hand, was a better situation for his mum. Not a better dad, because he likes to think he turned out fine without one, but his mum was always there and always so tired looking. He wished that he could find a suitcase full of money that he could give to just her, or that something would happen and his mum would suddenly not have to work so hard anymore. He didn’t have a lot of wishes for himself growing up, because no one taught him to think about his desires, just his needs.
2. Because I like this one, tell us about Eames' first time. Male. Female. Whatever. Whenever. How did he lose his virginity?
His was 15 the first time he had penetrative sex with a woman. Looking back on it now, the circumstances were more thrilling than the actual sex. He was used to sneaking into the pubs around town and by this time his jaw and frame had filled out enough that people made their own assumptions about his age. One night, a lady (term used loosely, mind) liked something about him and let him go all the way with her. It was extremely unsafe (she didn’t have a rubber and he just didn’t care) and was over almost as fast as it started, Eames pressing her into the brick on the side of the pub and indulging in the most fantastic shag his 15 year old self could imagine. Whenever he thinks back on that time he cringes at how incredibly stupid and painfully inelegant he’d been. Even if he hadn’t been this side of inebriated, he was only 15 and hadn’t yet figured out that a quick rut against a wall doesn’t equate to pleasing your partner.
His first time with a man, on the other hand, he was 19 and a junior officer in the Joint Strike Fighter Program. They’d just flown an 11 hour excursion with a one day fuel stop in Thailand. So, of course, Eames and his buddies went exploring, perusing the “local foliage” as young men are wont to do. What he didn’t realize is that in Thailand, specificity is paramount. If you peruse on sight alone, you have more of a chance of getting an exceptionally stunning man than an actual woman. He’s not sure how many of his buddies were pulled back into a sea of perfumed cushions and sequined curtains by a man that night, but Eames found himself curious, even after his clumsy palm encountered an all too familiar rigid length between seductively slender thighs. It was a good experience and, if there’s one thing to be said about Thailand, its that they’re proper about everything. Condom, lube, oils, massage; they know their trade, and though Eames pitched that time, it made Eames’ introduction into anal sex better (and infinitely more informative) than most.
The first man Eames ever opened his legs for was an engineer who he tried to feel up while the man was bent over the gutted remains of his F-35A. Only used to pitching at that point, (it seemed obvious as he was bigger than most of the men he tried to sleep with) Eames was surprised when the other man made it very clear how he’d not only take Eames up on his offer, but that he’d bend him over that Pratt & Whitney F135 and make him beg for his ass to be filled- surprised, and so turned on he could barely see straight.
3. What one fantasy does he hold that he suspects will never come true?
That he will find someone who wants him as part of their family. He wants to make a family and to keep a family; to be accepted into both of those units with unconditional approval and to know that he didn’t have to work for it, didn’t have to pay or bribe anyone for it. That he just belongs with these people and that they want him there.
4. How did he and Yusuf meet - assuming that he's known him for a while Pre-Inception.
Eames was hired to kill Yusuf, actually.
There was a large stretch of time between Eames’ solid reputation as a forger and Yusuf’s institution in Mombasa, where Eames was something of a man for hire. The daughter of a wealthy West Indian business tycoon sought his services for her father, who went to Yusuf (back when he was less reputable- if there is such a thing) to be put to sleep every day. The way Eames got the story, Yusuf was a bad man who stole wealthy people off the street and got them addicted to his chemicals until they couldn’t live without him. It seemed a likely story, and the woman was willing to pay big money for less work than he’d usually do on a job like this, so he agreed.
The thing is, Eames has known bad people. They can’t hide it and normally, they don’t try to. So when Eames was collecting intel on Yusuf- learning his habits and his rituals- he was also seeing the man who made sure stray cats were fed. The man who held the wealthy business tycoon’s hand when he got into his car to leave for the day, even if it was obvious he had other things to do. The man who didn’t pay for women to come home with him, and always paid their cab fare.
So one day, in an act he would never repeat but is certainly glad that he did at the time, Eames decided to walk right into Yusuf’s home and tell him what he’d been hired to do. Eternally validating himself in Eames’ mind as at least partially mad, Yusuf shrugged at Eames’ reveal and had said, “Well if you aren’t going to do it right now, grab a bag of cat food and help me feed these blasted cats.”
5. If Eames created the perfect partner - in whatever way - what would they be like? How would they look, act, do for a living? All of it.
This is such a difficult question because Eames appreciates qualities differently in different people. Stubbornness in Arthur? A turn on. Stubbornness in Cobb? Bloody irritating.
Personality wise, they would have to challenge him- be able to both keep up with his wit and get the upper hand on him if ever wasn’t paying attention. He is laid back, so he wouldn’t want his partner to be that way, lest the both of them just laze around and never do anything. Besides, he finds the drive to do something sexy. He would want that person to have passions that lie outside of the realm of anything that Eames has ever dabbled in, because he loves learning new things and would enjoy doing so with his partner.
Physically, Eames loves a lot of things about a lot of people. He loves the heft of a breast or a bum in his palm, the substantiality of it. He tends toward the darker haired in both men and women, and likes for there to be enough of it that he can run his fingers through it. They would be slim (relative to his size so ‘slim’ is a relative term) but well built, he doesn’t want to worry about hurting anyone if he rolls on top of them in the middle of the night. He’s more of an ass aficionado than a breast man, but really, he loves them in all sizes. He would want the person to be alright with his being physical. Not necessarily that his partner needs to be up for NONSTOP STIMULATION but, he does like to touch (elbows, wrists, back of the neck, thighs) whenever close enough, so he’d want them to be okay with that kind of constant physicality.
As for what they’d do for a living? Anything that Eames couldn’t or hasn’t. He loves learning new things and listening to stories he can’t make up in his own head, so it doesn’t matter if they were a trapeze artist in a moving circus or a reference librarian in the Smithsonian, he just wants to know that when he comes home and gets them wrapped up in his arms, they’ll tell him an interesting story about their day, maybe even teach him something if he’s lucky.
Asked by mutedpoint
1. Is Eames ambidextrous? Maybe only with some things, or he switches it up. Did he have to train himself into it if he did?
Yes, but not because he wanted to be. Public primary schools in England don’t cater to children who are ‘different.’ You use the desks they provide you, you use the scissors they provide you, and you don’t complain because you’re left handed and can’t sit comfortably or complete your projects on time because the scissors just won’t work. Though they couldn’t smack the importance of proper spelling and accurate math scores into him, they did whack his hands enough that it was easier to learn to use his right hand than to keep getting bloody knuckles.
Its an asset to him now, so he tries to switch things up every so often, but he’s naturally left handed so he has to work at his right hand more. Which is why you see him holding his files in his right hand, but little things, like playing with his poker chip, are automatic and he performs these actions with his naturally dominant hand.
2. The misspellings, is it on purpose? To chase a thrill, increase the risks or is it a genuine mistake?
The thing is, he emulates the speech patterns that appeal to him. He loves verbose language and synthesthetic description- but he’s always loved this about language. He’s never loved schooling or being forced to do something he didn’t actually want to do. So, as you can imagine, studying was never something he sat down to do. In primary he received more ruler smacks to his knuckles than he cares to admit because he couldn’t remember simple things like i before e except after c (because what about weird? There are always exceptions) and double consonants confused the fuck out of him. He’s able to represent himself much better in person, which is why he tends to.
Of course he isn’t laboring under the assumption that ‘u’ is the correct way to spell ‘you’, but he doesn’t want to misspell something more complex and have someone belittle him for it when he could flay them upside-down and sideways in a verbal confrontation. It’s easier to write in shorthand in the first place, and he’s reached an age where spelling just isn’t important to him. Especially in text messages- its all improper anyway. He’ll put more effort into it if he’s on a job (when he slipped into Browning’s office? You bet he was using spellcheck on that shit.) but with his colleagues, he figures you all know he’s the best at what he does, he doesn’t need your approval on his spelling.
3. If there is one person Eames could emulate, (not as a forge), who would that be?
Eames does this already, actually. He believes in building a better person, which is why he doesn’t understand why you would limit yourself to just one person. He picks up little bits of everyone; things that he likes, things that he admires, things that he finds appealing, and takes those into himself. That’s probably why his fashion choice is so… questionable. So he likes paisley and polkadots- WHY NOT WEAR THEM AT THE SAME TIME? (This is why you should never undress him- he is a walking swath of different patterns and colors. It will hurt your eyes.)
4. What would his dream car be?
Arthur, can we have a personal jet, please?
FINE.
As they’re constantly on the move, Eames doesn’t really have a dream car. He likes being able to change, try new things when he feels like it. In all likelihood, Eames would be the kind of guy who tends to lease cars, not buy them. That being said, he does have a few preferences. He adores manual transmission and a soft leather interior. He likes small, fast things as opposed to large, unwieldy vehicles. He does prefer left hand transmission because he’s a true Englishman and actually left-handed. If he were to ever set down enough roots to buy a car, it would probably be something like a Ferrari 275 GTB or an Austin Healey 3000.
Of course, if an Aston Martin DB9 were ever sitting around, Eames’ hands might get itchy. Bond Lifestyle, darling.
5. Besides gambling, how does Eames spend his money?
He likes to make sure those who have helped him in the past get a little something every now and then. So when he can spare it, his money goes around the globe-- Romania, Egypt, England, Argentina; a few other places-and finds itself in the right pockets.
Flying is one of his great passions. He used to, when he was in the SAS, and he's never quite got the bug out of his system. He spends a good deal of money on piloting whatever aircraft he can get his hands on. Sometimes he thinks he might want to own a private aircraft one day, but he doesn't see himself owning one any time soon. He is, to be perfectly honest, a bit frugal when it comes to himself. Growing up poor leaves a lasting impression on a lad. Designer suits and cars and homes aren't really his thing. He can understand the appeal from an aesthetic perspective, but it seems a waste to want one thing when you could try several things.
Traveling is of course an important expense, but he kind of regards it as a job related expense (not that anyone ever lets him write it off as one). He travels to places so he can better get the feel of the people, the culture; all the reasons one normally travels, but with slightly less than noble intentions. Story of his life.
He likes to spend his money with people. So if he walks into a pub and the mood is right/the people are friendly, you can bet he's going to buy a round for everyone. He likes to take people out and pay for their meal, or their ticket, what have you, because people are endlessly interesting. They show him things he would have never found before, would have never discovered he liked, and he naturally enjoys being in the presence of another person.
Well that was long!
1. What is the reason Eames has the totem he does? (Assuming it is the poker chip)
It's not really a special story for Eames, just another run in with the tempest that was Malorie Miles. Dreamshare was new at the time and people were still figuring out what everything meant, how far they could take it and why certain things worked when others didnt. Eames, was never really interested in the academics of it all, because he took to his role like a fish to water, but Mallorie insisted that he listen to what the community at large was discovering. He'd let her ramble on about the possibility of an infinite subconscious and how it wasn't the somnacin but our own lost grip on reality that made the environment dangerous and that totems were the answer- and she'd snapped her fingers in front of his face and asked, "Ma puce, are you listening to me?"
He'd smiled and replied, "Non."
So she'd shoved him off the balcony and he woke up in her flat, crammed full with too many people (just the way she liked it) and vaguely wondering how his mind could conjure such a real representation of his head cracking on the pavement when he's only ever seen in happen in movies.
She woke up next to him with a raised eyebrow and asked, "How do you know this is real?"
He pulled his shirt out and shrugged, knowing she'd take it for what it was. I don't have breasts, so this must be reality.
"We have been asking you to do this for months," She'd groused, the furrow between her eyebrows (so rare that Eames was momentarily sorry for making it appear) forming. "Do this for me. Please. Find something."
Shoving his hand in his pockets, chastised and vaguely reprimanded, Eames felt the pokerchip in his pocket- a single chip he must have forgotten in this pair of slacks when he was in Cairo the morning previous, when he'd received Mallorie's request for both his presence and his skills. He'd figured it was as good as anything, and he'd have something to associate it to.
Only now does the memory associated with it strike him as morbidly ironic.
2. What does Eames want for the future? After he can no longer really do dream-sharing. (Hopes, goals all that... And not world peace)
Lol not even if he actually wanted world peace?? Well, FINE. If he can't be Gracie Hart he'll settle for more selfish desires. (But if he doesn't get Miss World because of you Ari, he'll be v v chuffed.)
Truly, Eames wants to have friends he can trust. Dreamshare is a difficult business but he likes to think that when all is said and done, he's going to have some kick ass Sunday brunches. He also wants to have a family. Probably more than that (though its not something he'd probably say straight out) is he wants to make a family with someone who has a family that accepts him as one of their own. He wants to be liked because after a while, being respected gets old. He'd like to get better at gambling or probably just quit all together (that doesnt include cards) and he'd like to fill a whole bookshelf with books he's taken the time to read. He'd like to have a small home in England and a couple holiday properties elsewhere (California? Greece? Spain?). He'd like to learn an instrument and maybe paint something that isn't an exact replica of something someone else has already painted. If he ever decided to work, it would need to be lenient and most likely self-employed- like tending a vineyard or something.
Though he knows he would have hated it when he was younger, he also wants to help someone out of a bad situation. He doesn't really know how he'd do it, but if he could help someone (be it financially or emotionally or anything, really) get through those tough couple decades between 3 and 23 he would feel like he really accomplished something. He also wants (very selfishly, and this is probably why he's afraid it won't happen) his children to love him. Not just the obligatory love of a child for a father who provided, but to have children that truly want to come back and stay with them for holidays and bring their significant other's back with them, hoping for Eames' (and his spouse's) approval, and all that stuff that proper fathers do for their children. He really wants to be a good dad and a good husband.
3. What really turns Eames on?
See number 5, part: Arthur's hands. Lol.
This is a HUGE question as A LOT OF STUFF turns Eames on. Confidence turns Eames on. Complexity turns Eames on. Juxtaposition turns Eames on. Roleplay turns Eames on. Confrontation turns Eames on. Toys turn Eames on. Sensuality turns Eames on. Strength of spirit turns Eames on. Words turn Eames on. Exploration, learning, talking- the list goes on and on.
But I guess, if you want a specific scenario of one thing that turns Eames on, we could definitely say teasing turns Eames on. He loves the tease of another person, flaunting what they know he wants but which he can't have right this moment. The thrill of the chase, the subtle direction and knowledge between two people that if the others weren't here I'd rip your clothes off and have my way with you right here, dirty ground and all is the kind of urgency and edging that Eames enjoys.
4. Something he would be embarrassed if anyone knew about.
HMM. Embarrassment would necessitate shame, something Eames has very little of. I guess he'd be embarrassed if people knew how much he wanted to be a good person. People expect the worst of him, and he's willing to take on that persona because it isn't true, but if people knew that he hoped to have a family one day, with children who looked up to him as a good person and as an even better dad, that might be embarrassing.
5. For every participant of the Inception job, what is his or her most attractive attribute?
- Cobb: his crazy. UH. Sexually, Eames is probably the least compatible with Cobb. He thinks he has very pretty hair though, if that counts for anything?
- Arthur: I see that arse, believe me, I see what you’re saying about that arse, and it is a fine specimen indeed, but I don’t think you’ve had a proper look at his hands. He has these beautiful squared hands, with these mile long tapered fingers jointed with knuckles like knots on wood and just- his hands look like they were carved from marble. Like Christ himself decided to put a little divine TLC into forming everything from the elbow down. In ancient times, odes were writ to hands like his. Eames is so fucking attracted to Arthur’s hands, it’s embarrassing.
- Ariadne: Maybe not so much attractive as sexy, Eames loves how petite Ariadne is. What is attractive about her, in her petite-ness, is that she acts like she’s fucking ten feet tall and just as broad in the shoulders. She doesn’t let anyone push her around and that kind of makes Eames want to, both physically and sexually.
- Yusuf: This is going to sound really insubstantial, but his skin tone turns Eames on. How warm he is and how he looks so at ease with his loose collars and messy curls. He’s got something loose and touchable about him (almost inviting, even though he's always focused elsewhere), and Eames finds that super attractive.
- Saito: Agreed. This man’s confidence is sexy as hell. You’d feel privileged to have the opportunity to get down on your knees for him. He’s also more exotic, in Eames’ opinion, than Yusuf. Where Eames can kind of forget that Yusuf is ethnically different, Eames would probably always be cognizant of just how foreign Saito is and that’s always exciting in its own right.
- Robert: He has such a depth of need to him. As the only one who truly saw the inception take place, Eames probably feels close enough to Robert (on some creepy level) that he’d know best how to fill those needs. And Eames loves to be needed.
- Mal: While she wasn’t SUPPOSED to be on the job, she most definitely was. On every bloody level. Thank you Cobb. /side eye. So she deserves a mention. I don’t suppose “being the very essence of all things French” is at all fair, even if it is true. So I guess her silhouette. She was a beautifully formed woman and Eames imagines he could trace her outline with his fingertips all day, if given the chance.
- Eames: He doesn’t find his physical appearance very sexy, though he realizes that is a big turn on for most people. What he does find attractive about himself is his ability to slip into different roles. He can slim down or bulk up, read about something and bullshit his way around the block and back- he can be very convincing from Disciplinary Figure to Hungry Slut, and he's of the opinion that you do it right or you don't do it at all. And he can definitely do it right.
Asked by loadedparadox
1. What did Eames wish for growing up? What did he want most?
To say Eames wanted a lot of things would be undermining the larger picture here. Growing up, Eames just wanted. No one in his town had enough to go around, least of all his family, so Eames could want a toy car in the same way he wanted a never-ending bowl of potato soup. It is, quite possibly, why he is a thief now. He never learned to discriminate between wants and needs, only that if he didn’t take whatever chance presented itself, he might be forced to go without.
What he wished for, on the other hand, was a better situation for his mum. Not a better dad, because he likes to think he turned out fine without one, but his mum was always there and always so tired looking. He wished that he could find a suitcase full of money that he could give to just her, or that something would happen and his mum would suddenly not have to work so hard anymore. He didn’t have a lot of wishes for himself growing up, because no one taught him to think about his desires, just his needs.
2. Because I like this one, tell us about Eames' first time. Male. Female. Whatever. Whenever. How did he lose his virginity?
His was 15 the first time he had penetrative sex with a woman. Looking back on it now, the circumstances were more thrilling than the actual sex. He was used to sneaking into the pubs around town and by this time his jaw and frame had filled out enough that people made their own assumptions about his age. One night, a lady (term used loosely, mind) liked something about him and let him go all the way with her. It was extremely unsafe (she didn’t have a rubber and he just didn’t care) and was over almost as fast as it started, Eames pressing her into the brick on the side of the pub and indulging in the most fantastic shag his 15 year old self could imagine. Whenever he thinks back on that time he cringes at how incredibly stupid and painfully inelegant he’d been. Even if he hadn’t been this side of inebriated, he was only 15 and hadn’t yet figured out that a quick rut against a wall doesn’t equate to pleasing your partner.
His first time with a man, on the other hand, he was 19 and a junior officer in the Joint Strike Fighter Program. They’d just flown an 11 hour excursion with a one day fuel stop in Thailand. So, of course, Eames and his buddies went exploring, perusing the “local foliage” as young men are wont to do. What he didn’t realize is that in Thailand, specificity is paramount. If you peruse on sight alone, you have more of a chance of getting an exceptionally stunning man than an actual woman. He’s not sure how many of his buddies were pulled back into a sea of perfumed cushions and sequined curtains by a man that night, but Eames found himself curious, even after his clumsy palm encountered an all too familiar rigid length between seductively slender thighs. It was a good experience and, if there’s one thing to be said about Thailand, its that they’re proper about everything. Condom, lube, oils, massage; they know their trade, and though Eames pitched that time, it made Eames’ introduction into anal sex better (and infinitely more informative) than most.
The first man Eames ever opened his legs for was an engineer who he tried to feel up while the man was bent over the gutted remains of his F-35A. Only used to pitching at that point, (it seemed obvious as he was bigger than most of the men he tried to sleep with) Eames was surprised when the other man made it very clear how he’d not only take Eames up on his offer, but that he’d bend him over that Pratt & Whitney F135 and make him beg for his ass to be filled- surprised, and so turned on he could barely see straight.
3. What one fantasy does he hold that he suspects will never come true?
That he will find someone who wants him as part of their family. He wants to make a family and to keep a family; to be accepted into both of those units with unconditional approval and to know that he didn’t have to work for it, didn’t have to pay or bribe anyone for it. That he just belongs with these people and that they want him there.
4. How did he and Yusuf meet - assuming that he's known him for a while Pre-Inception.
Eames was hired to kill Yusuf, actually.
There was a large stretch of time between Eames’ solid reputation as a forger and Yusuf’s institution in Mombasa, where Eames was something of a man for hire. The daughter of a wealthy West Indian business tycoon sought his services for her father, who went to Yusuf (back when he was less reputable- if there is such a thing) to be put to sleep every day. The way Eames got the story, Yusuf was a bad man who stole wealthy people off the street and got them addicted to his chemicals until they couldn’t live without him. It seemed a likely story, and the woman was willing to pay big money for less work than he’d usually do on a job like this, so he agreed.
The thing is, Eames has known bad people. They can’t hide it and normally, they don’t try to. So when Eames was collecting intel on Yusuf- learning his habits and his rituals- he was also seeing the man who made sure stray cats were fed. The man who held the wealthy business tycoon’s hand when he got into his car to leave for the day, even if it was obvious he had other things to do. The man who didn’t pay for women to come home with him, and always paid their cab fare.
So one day, in an act he would never repeat but is certainly glad that he did at the time, Eames decided to walk right into Yusuf’s home and tell him what he’d been hired to do. Eternally validating himself in Eames’ mind as at least partially mad, Yusuf shrugged at Eames’ reveal and had said, “Well if you aren’t going to do it right now, grab a bag of cat food and help me feed these blasted cats.”
5. If Eames created the perfect partner - in whatever way - what would they be like? How would they look, act, do for a living? All of it.
This is such a difficult question because Eames appreciates qualities differently in different people. Stubbornness in Arthur? A turn on. Stubbornness in Cobb? Bloody irritating.
Personality wise, they would have to challenge him- be able to both keep up with his wit and get the upper hand on him if ever wasn’t paying attention. He is laid back, so he wouldn’t want his partner to be that way, lest the both of them just laze around and never do anything. Besides, he finds the drive to do something sexy. He would want that person to have passions that lie outside of the realm of anything that Eames has ever dabbled in, because he loves learning new things and would enjoy doing so with his partner.
Physically, Eames loves a lot of things about a lot of people. He loves the heft of a breast or a bum in his palm, the substantiality of it. He tends toward the darker haired in both men and women, and likes for there to be enough of it that he can run his fingers through it. They would be slim (relative to his size so ‘slim’ is a relative term) but well built, he doesn’t want to worry about hurting anyone if he rolls on top of them in the middle of the night. He’s more of an ass aficionado than a breast man, but really, he loves them in all sizes. He would want the person to be alright with his being physical. Not necessarily that his partner needs to be up for NONSTOP STIMULATION but, he does like to touch (elbows, wrists, back of the neck, thighs) whenever close enough, so he’d want them to be okay with that kind of constant physicality.
As for what they’d do for a living? Anything that Eames couldn’t or hasn’t. He loves learning new things and listening to stories he can’t make up in his own head, so it doesn’t matter if they were a trapeze artist in a moving circus or a reference librarian in the Smithsonian, he just wants to know that when he comes home and gets them wrapped up in his arms, they’ll tell him an interesting story about their day, maybe even teach him something if he’s lucky.
Asked by mutedpoint
1. Is Eames ambidextrous? Maybe only with some things, or he switches it up. Did he have to train himself into it if he did?
Yes, but not because he wanted to be. Public primary schools in England don’t cater to children who are ‘different.’ You use the desks they provide you, you use the scissors they provide you, and you don’t complain because you’re left handed and can’t sit comfortably or complete your projects on time because the scissors just won’t work. Though they couldn’t smack the importance of proper spelling and accurate math scores into him, they did whack his hands enough that it was easier to learn to use his right hand than to keep getting bloody knuckles.
Its an asset to him now, so he tries to switch things up every so often, but he’s naturally left handed so he has to work at his right hand more. Which is why you see him holding his files in his right hand, but little things, like playing with his poker chip, are automatic and he performs these actions with his naturally dominant hand.
2. The misspellings, is it on purpose? To chase a thrill, increase the risks or is it a genuine mistake?
The thing is, he emulates the speech patterns that appeal to him. He loves verbose language and synthesthetic description- but he’s always loved this about language. He’s never loved schooling or being forced to do something he didn’t actually want to do. So, as you can imagine, studying was never something he sat down to do. In primary he received more ruler smacks to his knuckles than he cares to admit because he couldn’t remember simple things like i before e except after c (because what about weird? There are always exceptions) and double consonants confused the fuck out of him. He’s able to represent himself much better in person, which is why he tends to.
Of course he isn’t laboring under the assumption that ‘u’ is the correct way to spell ‘you’, but he doesn’t want to misspell something more complex and have someone belittle him for it when he could flay them upside-down and sideways in a verbal confrontation. It’s easier to write in shorthand in the first place, and he’s reached an age where spelling just isn’t important to him. Especially in text messages- its all improper anyway. He’ll put more effort into it if he’s on a job (when he slipped into Browning’s office? You bet he was using spellcheck on that shit.) but with his colleagues, he figures you all know he’s the best at what he does, he doesn’t need your approval on his spelling.
3. If there is one person Eames could emulate, (not as a forge), who would that be?
Eames does this already, actually. He believes in building a better person, which is why he doesn’t understand why you would limit yourself to just one person. He picks up little bits of everyone; things that he likes, things that he admires, things that he finds appealing, and takes those into himself. That’s probably why his fashion choice is so… questionable. So he likes paisley and polkadots- WHY NOT WEAR THEM AT THE SAME TIME? (This is why you should never undress him- he is a walking swath of different patterns and colors. It will hurt your eyes.)
4. What would his dream car be?
Arthur, can we have a personal jet, please?
FINE.
As they’re constantly on the move, Eames doesn’t really have a dream car. He likes being able to change, try new things when he feels like it. In all likelihood, Eames would be the kind of guy who tends to lease cars, not buy them. That being said, he does have a few preferences. He adores manual transmission and a soft leather interior. He likes small, fast things as opposed to large, unwieldy vehicles. He does prefer left hand transmission because he’s a true Englishman and actually left-handed. If he were to ever set down enough roots to buy a car, it would probably be something like a Ferrari 275 GTB or an Austin Healey 3000.
Of course, if an Aston Martin DB9 were ever sitting around, Eames’ hands might get itchy. Bond Lifestyle, darling.
5. Besides gambling, how does Eames spend his money?
He likes to make sure those who have helped him in the past get a little something every now and then. So when he can spare it, his money goes around the globe-- Romania, Egypt, England, Argentina; a few other places-and finds itself in the right pockets.
Flying is one of his great passions. He used to, when he was in the SAS, and he's never quite got the bug out of his system. He spends a good deal of money on piloting whatever aircraft he can get his hands on. Sometimes he thinks he might want to own a private aircraft one day, but he doesn't see himself owning one any time soon. He is, to be perfectly honest, a bit frugal when it comes to himself. Growing up poor leaves a lasting impression on a lad. Designer suits and cars and homes aren't really his thing. He can understand the appeal from an aesthetic perspective, but it seems a waste to want one thing when you could try several things.
Traveling is of course an important expense, but he kind of regards it as a job related expense (not that anyone ever lets him write it off as one). He travels to places so he can better get the feel of the people, the culture; all the reasons one normally travels, but with slightly less than noble intentions. Story of his life.
He likes to spend his money with people. So if he walks into a pub and the mood is right/the people are friendly, you can bet he's going to buy a round for everyone. He likes to take people out and pay for their meal, or their ticket, what have you, because people are endlessly interesting. They show him things he would have never found before, would have never discovered he liked, and he naturally enjoys being in the presence of another person.
Well that was long!