I just hate it.  I've been all over the place.  fucking pms.  Crying my eyes out on the ride home coz I saw a terrible body of a deer that was killed.  Crying again coz I saw a kitty dead.  Then a squirrel.

Crying because I don't know why.

Crying coz I have bad feelings that just won't go away.  Make them go away.  I'm getting paranoid about the ( Read more... )

You say you really care about me.  But you don't.  It's funny really. You knew what was going on too....and you have yet to check up on me.  Ironic how...11 other people have.  One of them is a person I have just met this weekend too.  That person has been checking up on me the most, which is something I'd rather that person not do at all.  I ( Read more... )

I have the flu.

I know it.

I'm being punished for my weekend.   

I can't even be thankful for the weekend. It's going to be another sober one.  And all I want to do is to get really, really drunk ( Read more... )

It doesn't help.  It doesn't.  To see ":-)"s.  I can't even remember the last time I saw a ":-)" with anything to do with me. It hurts.  How can I fall apart and you be honkey dorey?  It doesn't make sense.  It makes me wonder...and think bad thoughts that eat away at my insides.

throwing up.  fun.
eating 12 saltines and a granola bar...as my whole ( Read more... )

I'm gonna keep on lovin' you
Cause it's the only thing I wanna do
I don't wanna sleep, I just wanna keep on lovin' you.
Baby, I'm gonna keep on lovin' you
Cause it's the only thing I wanna do
I don't wanna sleep, I just wanna keep on lovin' you. 

...and sometimes I feel like whenever I need to talk with someone, they are unavailable for me.
...and sometimes I feel like I have no one at all to talk about certain things.  Not even the "professionals."

I don't want to go back to school.

Why am I in college again?
To establish my own credit...aka be in debt for a long time.
to maybe have a better ( Read more... )

when people put up song lyrics so obviously about me ( Read more... )

I don't want to have to take medicine.
I dont want to have to depend on a pill.
I don't want side-effects.
I'm scared it will make things numb...and make other things that are ok...worse.
I'm scared it will screw up my school performance.
What if my personality changes, and people notice?  
What if I lose my acting ability?
I feel like it's a big risk... ( Read more... )

When people tell you of your faults...
and another
When you yourself are aware of an obvious fault, and people don't point it out.
They don't care anymore.
They gave up on you.

Makes you want to give up on yourself.

Please don't give up on me.