Stereo Hearts 1/3
Pairing - Taeckay
Rating - Pg-13 (R towards the end)
Word count - 15K
Summary - All his life MinJun had rely on music, is the only thing that would never fail him, that would never leave him. But with time he finds his music is lacking inspiration, and maybe, just maybe there is someone that could help him get it back.
♪♪
If I could only find a note to make you understand
I'd sing it softly in your ear and grab you by the hand
Just keep it stuck inside your head, like your favorite tune
And know my heart's a stereo that only plays for you
♪♪
I.
Music, Junsu believes, is the greatest gift given to men.
His eyes are close, the room is quite and his hand comes up, fingers outstretched as they traced invisible patterns in the air. The music notes to the song in his head, the one that only he can hear. A beautiful composition of medium tempo and heavy bass, words that had yet to come to him, but that are not really necessary at the moment.
He grabs his phone, gets it ready to record, and hums the melody into the speaker. Afraid that if he dares wait, he may not get it ready.
"New song?"
The sound of a voice in the dark and he's no longer in a trance. Now that he pays attention he’s not alone in the room either, nor is it really quite. There’s the familiar sound of someone breathing the same air as he was, the faint glow of a computer screen casting shadows in the room that he had previously failed to notice. Taecyeon is on the bottom bunk, and he sighs, stretches out under the covers and tucks his phone under the pillow.
“Sorry… I’ll try to be quiet”
“Is alright…” Taecyeon says and Junsu hears the faint sound of a laptop closing, the switching of the sheets. “I used to it anyway”
His smiles, despite himself, and continues on humming until he doesn’t notice his eyes closing.
Nor hears Taecyeon humming along to the same melody.
II.
The good thing about music, Bob Marley once said, is that when it hits you, you feel no pain.
Junsu can’t help but disagree.
It hits him and hits him hard in front of an audience to whom he never intended to show this side of himself.
He had always believed in choosing music according to the feeling, and at the moment the song seemed like the right choice. Farewell formula. Final goodbyes. It was something he never really thought of, but now…
But when I hear it… why do I cry…
He hasn’t really thought about the meaning behind those lyrics until the second right before he sang them on stage. Perhaps he should have. Then his voice wouldn’t have cracked, the song wouldn’t have lost its intended meaning, and it would have remained a cheerful summer song like he had meant for it too. Instead, it turned into a moment of sorrow, one that left the audience, the judges, and himself momentarily stunned.
“The audience probably thought you were faking it”
It was Taecyeon the one who decided to voice his opinion out loud. It was Taecyeon the only one that had stayed in to monitor the airing of the show alongside Junsu.
“I wasn’t”
“I know”
Taecyeon slides closer on the couch and Junsu looks down at their knees that are now touching, then at Taecyeon’s hand. Where his fingers should be there are corn-cone ships and Junsu smiles, opens his mouth and waits for it.
“Sike” Junsu frowns, Taecyeon chuckles and brings the snacks to his on mouth, eating all five of them in one go.
“Jerk”
“Your punishment for not winning”
“I thought I wasn’t going to be let into the house if I lost?”
“If I kick you out, then I would suffer too. Not worth it”
He would have asked what Taecyeon meant by that comment, but the front door opened and Chansung walked in, murmuring something about take out and Taecyeon was momentarily distracted by the mention of food. Moment that Junsu uses to steal the snack and make a run for it.
III.
Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.
He is not familiar with the author, Maya Angelou, Nichkhun had said her name was. Neither is he familiar with the book Nichkhun is currently indulging in, but he understands the meaning behind the phrase. Can relate even.
He figures it’s worth a try still, and orders a copy of I know Why The Cage Bird Sings anyway. There is no Korean version, but he figures it would help him practice his English a bit.
Is not until a few months later that he gets a chance to actually attend to read it. He waves goodbye to Nichkhun, tells him to take care of himself and that things would be different when he gets back. This is also the time when he recalls the phrase, thinks about its meaning, gives up at the book’s foreword and picks up his phone.
Chance doesn’t answer, but there is a message a few seconds after he hangs up the phone.
MinJunaaaahhhh… I’m in the middle of something right now. Talk later?
There is a moment of hesitation when he stares at the phone screen and wonders who is Chance referring to. Then he remembers that he’s no longer Junsu that he’s MinJun and that from now this is probably how his friends would be referring to him.
Can I use the studio?
He keeps it short, not feeling like elaborating. Chance knows him well, and explanations are not always necessary. Sure, he could use one of the studios in the company, but they just don’t have the right feel. They speak of music for the sake of selling records, as to where Chance’s studio reminds him of adolescent dreams and music as a form of art.
Sure. You know where to get the key.
He spends hours locked up in the room. Forgets to eat, and only gets up when the amount of water he had been drinking finally proves to be too much for his bladder.
When he gets back from the bathroom, he can hear the song he had been working on being played, expects to find Chance waiting for him, but instead is surprise when Taecyeon is the one seated on the chair.
“This sucks”
Taecyeon simply says and he can’t help but agree. He doesn’t blame Nichkhun, how could he if they were just as guilty as he was for not taking care of him properly? He blames the universe, and its macabre plan to make them go through hell and back as many times as it possibly can. He wonders if it’s a game. If someone out there is amusing themselves, taking bets on how much they can last until they finally crack.
“When are you leaving?”
He asks, taking the spare chair and seating next to Taecyeon. He pushes him aside, presses a few buttons on the soundboard and makes sure to save his progress before Taecyeon decides to push the wrong button and ruins the whole thing. This song in particular, he had been working on for a while, almost finish, but always just not quite ready yet. There’s something missing, he doesn’t know what, but he knows trying to force himself to find the answer won’t help either.
“Soon. Honestly, I’m counting down the days”
“You want to leave that bad?”
“I just want to get away from here for a while”
Junsu, no wait that is not his name anymore. That was left behind. A thing of the pass. Something else to add to the endless list of things that had to be let go off in favor of progress. Of moving on.
MinJun understands Taecyeon.
He has different ways of coping, his music been the one thing he knows he can always rely on. The mistress that would never ask for commitment that would never ask any questions or point out his flaws and shortcomings. His refuge. The space where he can crawl in between the notes and turn his back to loneliness. To despair. To helplessness and wretchedness.
But Taecyeon…
“You know I keep reading these articles…”
“I told you not to do that”
“Those hateful comments. Are we not entitled to make mistakes? Sometimes I just want to-”
“The hyenas area always waiting in the shadows for easy prey Taec, don’t give them the pleasure”
“I need to get out of here for a bid, a few days”
“And following Khun to Tanzania was the only solution?”
“Junho said volunteering really helped him out. Maybe it’ll help me to.”
“If it would make you feel better, just be careful”
“I think I’ll miss you”
“You’ll miss us all”
“But you the most…”
There is no one to interrupt here, no one to come in distract him so he listens to what Taecyeon’s says. Hears the meaning behind the words, or perhaps his hearing too much into it. Would he miss Taec?
Yes, he will, actually thinking about it, he already does.
III.
The music industry is a strange combination of having real and intangible assets: pop bands are brand names in themselves, and at a given stage in their careers their name alone can practically guarantee hit records.
MinJun comes out of the meeting feeling betray.
It has been months since they had seen, or even hear from Park Jinyoung and the only thing the man had to contribute to the meeting was a quote from some famous business man MinJun had never heard about.
He borrows a laptop from Wooyoung and types the name Jinyoung had mentioned, Richard Branson, reads the first few search results and his frown deepens. Figures. Self-made billionaire. Entrepreneur. Blah. Blah. Blah. He already suspected the words had been more for the benefit of the suits with pockets that are never full. It wasn’t about the music. Not anymore.
He wanted to tell them that they were wrong. That popularity alone won’t be enough. That their fans had been neglected for far too long. That a lot of time has passed since Heartbeat and that a lot of new faces had shown up on the scene. That they had a lot of ground to cover. Recover.
But no.
He kept his comments to himself because this meeting was not about them, but what would be done with them.
They wouldn’t agree. So compromises had to be made.
“You should talk to Taecyeon”
Wooyoung wasn’t looking at him when he returns the computer. MinJun dreads finding out the reason for the downcast expression, but he asks all the same.
Wooyoung sighs, hands his phone to MinJun and waits. MinJun is not surprise when he reads Taecyeon’s most recent twitter post. If anything he’s a little smug and smiles to himself when he sees the amount of retweets the three messages had gotten, but he hides it quickly. Wooyoung is side eyeing him and Chansung and Junho choose this moment to walk into the practice room, noticeable frowns on their faces and MinJun sighs.
“What makes you think he’ll listen to me?”
He questions, thinking that perhaps Nichkhun is better cut out for this job, and he wonders where exactly is the Thai when he’s most needed, but Junho had that look in his eyes and he figures he may as well act like the hyung he’s supposed to be.
He’s not sure where to begin looking so he asks around. No one seems to know, and apparently he’s not the only one looking. He passes one of the managers who looks like he’s about to lose his mind, contains a smile and shrugs when the question of Taecyeon’s whereabouts comes up.
“No idea. I’m looking for him as well.”
Only that’s a lie, because now that he thinks about he knows exactly where to find him.
“Wooyoung is of the believe that I can talk some sense into you?”
“And you think you talking to me is going to work?”
“Do I seem like an idiot to you?”
“At times”
MinJun finds him in the ramen shop near their old dorm, and takes a seat without waiting for an invention. The old ahjumma that runs the place smiles at him and he bows his head in respect, thanking her when a few minutes later a bowl is placed in front of him.
“How did you know I would be here?”
MinJun shrugs and stirs the noodles, making a face worthy of a CF as he takes the first bite.
“Did you think you were the only one that remembers this place, we all use to come here remember that?”
Taecyeon doesn’t respond, instead he gets the attention of the ahjumma and orders a second serving, but MinJun doesn’t miss the hints of a smile the other is trying to hide. Nor the way Taecyeon sighs, picks up his phone and begins typing away.
“I think is amazing that someone had the balls to speak out,”
“But you think that I was reckless by doing it the way I did?” Taecyeon offers when MinJun doesn’t finish his sentence, but the older shakes his head, bringing the bowl to his mouth and drinking the last bit of soup before speaking again.
“I would have thought less of you if you hadn’t, is not your style to keep quiet”
Taecyeon smiles, a real one this time, and slides his phone across the table to MinJun. MinJun reads the new messages, chuckles when he sees the previous ones had been deleted. It doesn’t matter though. He knew that the message had already reached its intended target. That the real meaning had been delivered.
And is not like the new message that replaced them was an apology, nor did Taecyeon when back on what he said. It was a clarification, more for the sake of the business suits than anything else.
“They were going to make me take them down anyway” Taecyeon says when MinJun hands him the phone back.
“So what was that? A need to satisfy your inner rebel?”
“More like a need to express my opinion as one of the breadwinners of this company.”
“You should learn from me, express your feelings through music. Is a lot less troublesome”
They stay silent for a while. Taecyeon finishes his second bowl, but neither gets up, nor mentions leaving. MinJun sends a quick message to Wooyoung; I got him. And puts his phone away, glancing up to notice Taecyeon had been staring at him. There’s something different about the way he’s watching. His eyes look darker, yet somehow brighter, and MinJun notice that his lashes seem longer somehow. He had seen this look on the other before, on those rare occasions that fans seem to capture on photos taken at their concert. When MinJun is not paying attention and Taecyeon is watching earnestly as he speaks.
“What? Is there something on my face?”
“Why do you think Wooyoung thought it was a good idea to send you?” Taecyeon asks and MinJun shrugs. He’s still trying to figure that out himself.
“He was probably too lazy to come himself?”
“Or maybe our Wooyoungie has gotten a lot more perceptive than I gave him credit for”
Taecyeon simply says, and looks away. Yet MinJun has caught the sudden change of mood, feels that there is something he’s missing. Something that Taecyeon is trying to tell him, but he can’t quite catch.
“What’s on your mind Taecyeonah?” He asks right out, because he’s not in the mood to play mind games. He likes things to be clear in order to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings.
“Trust me when I tell you that you’re better off not knowing”
“How bad can it possibly be that you can’t even tell me?”
Taecyeon leans closer, the movement is sudden and MinJun is suddenly startled, the chair scratching the floor as he moves back. Taecyeon smiles, his elbows prop on the table and his face cradle in his hands, his cheesiest smile hitting MinJun in full force. MinJun straightens out and frowns, the back of his hand hitting Taecyeon’s arm.
“You need to get a girlfriend so that you can use all that aegyo properly”
“Girlfriends are too troublesome, lack of time,”
“Lack of honesty?” MinJun adds, moving the chair back to his original position. Taecyeon’s smile is bright and inviting, and MinJun joins him. There has always been something about Taecyeon that was impossible to resist. Even to him.
“Lack of interest” Taecyeon says after a while, and MinJun narrows his eyes, not believing Taecyeon for a second.
“So there’s not a girl that you are interested in?”
“A girl? No, there isn’t?” Taecyeon puts emphasis on the word and MinJun’s interest is perked.
“Liar” Is all he says. He’s curious, actually he’s really curious, but he knows better than to pry. Instead, he gets up and approaches the counter, paying for their entire bill.
“A treat from Kim MinJun, I should feel honored”
Taecyeon jokes as they walk to where MinJun parked the car. Taecyeon waits for a retaliation, knowing MinJun’s normal reaction would include a not so gentle tap on the arm, but it doesn’t come. He gets in the passenger side and watches MinJun adjust his seat belt and insert the key. The engine turns over quietly and Taecyeon sighs.
“There is someone” He says catching MinJun’s attention. “There’s someone I’m interested in”
“I knew you were lying when you said there was no girl” MinJun chooses this moment to turn on the radio, the volume loud, and almost misses Taecyeon’s next words. Almost.
“I wasn’t lying about that either”
That night MinJun picks up his composition notebook, and lays in bed. The words are there, dancing around in his head, yet hard as he tries, he cannot get them to blend together like they normally do.
He gives up and puts it away.
He would try again tomorrow. They have an early schedule anyway.
IV.
"I was born with music inside me. Music was one of my parts. Like my ribs, my kidneys, my liver, my heart. Like my blood. It was a force already within me when I arrived on the scene. It was a necessity for me-like food or water."
The words belonged to the great Ray Charles, but MinJun always felt that he was speaking for every great musician out there.
He had never had trouble with Music, had always been able to sleep on it and pick up right where he left off the previous day. Music is who he was, what he did. It came as natural as the constant beating of his heart, it flows easily like the blood running through his vein.
So what exactly was wrong with him today? It was some basic editing, things he had done so many times before he could probably do it in his sleep, yet he had managed to screw up more times than he could count and the glances he was getting from Changdai were not a good sign either.
“What’s wrong with you kid?”
“I’m just having an off day, hyung”
“Off day?” Changdai huffed “More like weeks”
MinJun had nothing to say to that, mostly because the comment was right on the price, so instead he sigh loudly and decides he may as well just call it quits. It’s not like he was getting anything done anyway.
“Should we grab a bite to eat?” Chandai asks as MinJun slips into his jacket, thinking of the drive home, and considering whether or not to ask for a ride. Driving seem like a tedious thing to do at the moment.
“I’m meeting one of your members in a while, and you could probably use the distraction”
“I’m not really hungry” He answers, not really taking the time to consider the offer. He figures is probably Wooyoung, the kid had been showing more interest in making his own music and MinJun had gotten used to seeing him a lot around the studio.
“Alright then” Chandai says, grabbing his jacket and keys as well “I’ll tell Taecyeon you declined on a free meal”
The name was like a trigger, he had no idea existed, without reasoning, or even being fully aware that he was doing it, he was taking back his words. Saying that sure he could eat. He had nothing better to do anyway, and if Taec was paying then even better.
He told himself he was just hungry. That the meal would be free. And that Taecyeon had absolutely nothing to do with him tagging along.
It had nothing to do with the fact that he couldn’t recall the last time he saw the other, or that he miss him, them, more than he would ever admit to himself. They were all so busy lately with their respective schedules that been able to gather as 6 was a treat that didn’t come along as often as it should.
And it absolutely had nothing to do with the way Taecyeon’s face lit up when they got there, or the way his heart began to do somersaults in his chest the second their eyes met.
“I thought you were done for the day?”
Changdai asks a while later, when they get back to the studio and MinJun is still there, hanging his jacket on a rack and taking a seat on the small couch near the door.
“I thought I’ll hang around and see what you guys were working on”
“Maybe you could help out” Taecyeon offers and MinJun gets ready to tell him that sure, he would love to, when Changdai chuckles from where he’s seated.
“Trust me Taec, you don’t want any advice from that one today”
“Why he lost his muse?” Taecyeon asks jokingly, obviously please with the way MinJun is staring down the other man.
“Kids’ been dry for a few days now. Losing his touch”
MinJun consider arguing, but knew it was no use. Taecyeon had that look on his face, seem ready to go if MinJun gave him the ammo, and MinJun was definitely on the losing side of the teasing war that would ensue if he even dare.
Instead, he settles on the couch, takes out his phone and pretends not to stare at Taecyeon as the man takes a seat next to Changdai and gets to work.
Still…
Perhaps it was because he had not seen the other in a while, well, realistically a few days, but for people that had spent most of their adolescent years stuck to each other a few days felt like months. That share time also meant they knew each other fairly well and there was something different about his friend this particular night.
His hair, MinJun notice, was due for a haircut soon, and there was a small blemish on his right cheek. The simple shirt he wore, blue and with a low V-neck, seemed to be a little loose and MinJun wonder if the other had lost weight. He’s not thinking properly either because before he can catch himself, he’s asking the question out loud.
Changdai side eyes him, but quickly turns his attention to the soundboard. Taecyeon on the contrary smiles, all teeth and dimples, and pinches a cheek, pulls at the skin a bit and faces MinJun.
“You notice?”
“I was just asking” MinJun says quickly, wondering why in the world he is feeling so self-conscious at the moment.
“Do I look bad?”
“Of course you don’t, ” he answers quickly. Too damn quickly. He fakes a cough, chokes on his own saliva and quickly adds “The cameras put on a few extra pounds anyway so you’ll be fine”
Taecyeon’s smile is brighter than the morning sun and he kicks himself mentally for even thinking that. Comparing your member’s smile to the sun was just a big fat no in the list of weird things you shouldn’t do or think about your members.
It takes some time, but he feels like he’s back to normal.
He’s driving Taecyeon home and it’s a bit later than they both intended to stay, but when the making of music was involved time was not something you tended to keep track of.
They talk about the upcoming album, the concert and the possibility of working together for the fan goods.
“A No Love Okcat sounds like a good idea” Taecyeon offers, voicing out some ideas of what they could possibly come up with. Of the possibility of him adding it to his official line in the future if it did well.
MinJun only adds a comment when it’s necessary, instead he goes back and forth between paying attention to the road to staring at Taecyeon’s face in the dim light cast by the street lights. He finds that he likes this side of Taecyeon. The part time business man, who had so many ideas it made MinJun wonder how his head didn’t explode.
When they reach Taecyeon’s home MinJun felt like he wasn’t ready to let go, not yet, and asked about the drama filming. When did it start? Was he excited? Worry? He shouldn’t be. He would do great. He would give it his best.
“And if you suck, then just quit acting and dedicate yourself to selling ugly green cats” MinJun said jokingly earning a not so gentle shoved from Taecyeon.
“Yah!” He exclaims when he hit the door a bit harder than expected, but Taecyeon didn’t apologize. He opens the door instead, a grin on his face.
“Serves you right”
“Brute”
“Weakling”
Taecyeon had one foot out of the car, the other still in and MinJun waited, making a big deal of rubbing his arm and mumbling things about bruises and payback. Eventually he glances at Taecyeon, and notices him staring at the dashboard intently, hesitating before he turns around and faces MinJun, the same confident expression he usually saves for interviews plaster on his face.
“What are you doing tomorrow?”
He asks and MinJun shrugs, thinking for a second. Did he have anything planned?
“I think I have a meeting with the cast of the musical, weh?”
“Nah, don’t worry about it” Taecyeon quickly adds and fully gets out of the car. He waves goodbye, and MinJun waves back. Waiting until the other was safely inside the building before taking off.
That night MinJun picks up his composition notebook once more.
This time he finishes the first stanza to a brand new song.
V.
Life only becomes more confusing from that point on.
They gather to review the songs for their upcoming album. The release is still months away, but waiting for the last minute to prepare is never an option.
A few things had happened since. Like a particular dream, or dreams, he may or may not have had about, or is it with, Taecyeon. Dreams that he didn’t dare tell even to his dead father. He couldn’t risk those getting out, and if he ever dare shared them with anyone during a weak, or drunk, moment he would surely have to kill himself after the fact.
He tries not to think about it as Taecyeon takes a seat across from him, listening intently as the unedited version of No Love plays in the recording room.
“So you write a song like that for Khunnie, and then something like this for you?”
Junho says getting the attention of everyone in the room. He tks, approaches MinJun, and puts a hand on the elder’s shoulder.
“What? Is it bad?” MinJun asks, a bit wary. He turns to look at Junho, ready to defend his work if necessary.
“Is not that hyung” Junho says, sighing “Is just so… Heart braking”
“That was the intention you punk” MinJun tells him, ignoring the sounds of laughter coming from the other members, and raises his hand intending to hit Junho.
“Yeah, hyung, but you are really a cheerful person. Look at the song you gave Khun! You should sing sometime like that as well” Junho quickly adds, backing away before MinJun has a chance to hit him.
“Don’t forget he wrote that one thinking of Khunie!” Wooyoung added, Chansung’s burst of laugher earning a few chuckles from the other
“Actually, I was in a café with Taecyeon when I got the idea for the song” MinJun says defensively, this time no one is laughing, at first. Taecyeon is watching him, that strange look in his eyes again and the hint of a smile in his lips. Wooyoung clears his throat, looks at the two and suppresses a smile.
“Well, that makes sense, then. Moving on”
He says, and this time Nichkhun joins in and laughs. Says something about being used as an excuse, and Junho and Chansung look on confused, the former doesn't seem pleased at being left out of the joke.
“I think you are wrong though, Junho” Taecyeon says and MinJun looks away, trying to find something else to occupy his attention with “More than heartbreak the song seems like a man that has known love, good and bad, and that knows how to appreciate it. I think it fits”
“Ahhh so deep!” Chansung jokes, MinJun chokes on his saliva and Junho murmurs a very sarcastic “daebak”.
“Our MinJun has had plenty of experience with bad love, while our poor, nuneo is still naïve to the ways of the wounded heart.” Wooyoung adds, holding a piece of paper which Junho quickly snatches away.
“I'm waiting for your reply… Are you still angry...The sun is already rising” Wooyoung reads out loud before Junho safely retrieves the sheet, and gives him a well-placed kick on the shin. Wooyoung complains, rubbing his leg, only now he looks like he's out for revenge.
“What’s wrong with the lyrics?!” Junho retaliates.
“They sound like a high school boy with a crush!” Wooyoung says in a matter of fact tone and Junho’s eyes get even smaller, he gets ready to argue and MinJun shakes his head. The friendly banter goes on, Wooyoung is in the mood to tease and Junho is easy prey. Wooyoung says sometimes along the lines of a high school boy with a crush on his foreigner hyung and then it all goes to hell from there.
MinJun is laughing, he can’t help himself, and for a second his eyes wander to Taecyeon. He’s watching the young ones banter, a look of amusement in his face. There’s this strange feeling in the pit of his stomach that he can’t quite translate into words. He had never told anyone the meaning behind this particular song, only that it took him a while to finish. That it was the meaning behind his No Love catch phrase. Still, he never when deeper than that, never expected anyone to get it. Really get it.
“Taecyeonah, ” he says after a while, not giving himself much time to think it over. “Let’s go pick up some food and give these kids some time to settle down”
Wooyoung and Khun exchange knowing glances which MinJun ignores, Chansung immediately gives his request. Junho is the only one that questions MinJun’s intention, asking why they don’t just order in or ask one of the staff to go get it. He gets pulled into a headlock by Nichkhun, who tells him to just shut it and write down what he wants.
They decide to walk. The weather is still nice, late autumn, winter not quite making life unbearable yet, and MinJun lets his mind wander off. He’s watching the leaves fall off the trees, wishes he wasn’t in the city. Where the closest to the trees they got were the ones the city put in the sidewalks for decoration. Still, even Seoul with its busy life couldn’t take away from the beauty of the season.
They walk past a group of girls who seem to recognize them and they wave politely, Taecyeon hiding most of his face under the cap he slip on before going out.
“You know they still know it’s you, even if you hide your face”
“You are not helping either. Really, you couldn’t wear anything brighter?” Taecyeon accuses, tugging at the sleeve of MinJun’s jacket. An animal print hoodie that MinJun is actually quite fond of.
“What’s wrong with my jacket?” He questions, offended by the comment.
“You wear things like that, people call you Fashionista. Let me wear the same jacket and let’s see the amount of articles criticizing my lack of fashion taste that come out tomorrow”
They share a laugh, both acknowledging the truth of the statement, Taecyeon punching MinJun’s shoulder when the older wouldn’t stop laughing.
The restaurant is only a few blocks away and they make it there in no time. They approach the counter, and MinJun doesn’t question when Taecyeon makes two separate orders. One to be delivered to the boys back at the agency and the other for them to share.
“Is not like we are in a hurry today anyway,” Taecyeon tells him, setting the utensils on the table, and MinJun simply shrugs. Is not like he was putting up a fight or questioning Teac’s intention, but he doesn’t say that he’s actually quite happy with the new arrangement.
They eat quietly for a while until MinJun decides to break the silence. He grabs Taec’s empty bowl and gives him another serving, clears his throats and decides this is as good a time as ever to ask.
"What you said earlier, about the song I mean, how did you come to that conclusion?"
Taecyeon looks up from his plate, a bit confused at first, but then quickly catches on, giving MinJun the simplest of answers he could possibly have.
"Don't know. I guess I just know the way you think. Why was I wrong? "
No, he wasn't, but MinJun doesn't say it. Instead, he points to Taecyeon's face, where he had managed to dirty the corner of his lip with a bit of sauce. Taecyeon's tongue comes out and laps at it, missing it by an inch each time, and MinJun chooses to take matters into his own hand. He grabs a napkin, dabs it with a bit of water and leans forward.
"It's kind of scary that you can read me so well" He admits, tossing the napkin aside when Taecyeon's all clean.
"And it's sad that you are so bad at reading me."
MinJun tells him not to take it personal, he's just clueless like that sometimes, and puts a big chunk of meat in Taecyeon's plate. He doesn't want to miss the chance though, now that they are talking there has been something he had been meaning to ask. Something he had been curious about for a while now.
"So that person you said you were interested in..."
“What about it?”
He regrets asking as soon as the words leave his mouth. Judging from Taecyeon’s sudden change of expression and the way he pushes the plate away is obvious to MinJun that he shouldn’t have pry. Been in the same group does not entitle him the right to intrude on the other’s affair, regardless of how curious he may or may not be.
So what if he had lost a few hours of rest wondering about this phantom person. Taecyeon had all the right in the world to be with someone and MinJun no right to be just a bit bother by the situation.
“That person doesn’t know how I feel” Taecyeon says “I haven’t had the courage to say anything”
Minjun is at a loss for words. He doesn’t know what to say. Taecyeon looks lost, hurt, and it tugs at Minjun’s heart.
“It’s probably better this way,” he says, “Is not like we can actually keep a relationship”
“Is that what you really think?” Taecyeon asks, and Minjun nods. Mistaking the cynical smile on Taecyeon’s lips for one of understanding.
“Dating requires time and effort none of us can really afford to invest in anything but our careers right now, and besides,” he cradles his face in his hands, makes what he thinks is a cute expression, and Taecyeon fakes a gag. Smiling despite himself.
“Wouldn’t you want to show your pretty girlfriend around? You know that’s impossible for us. Unless of course you date one of the members in which case then you guys are free to wander off and partake on PDA to your heart’s content”
MinJun laughs at his own joke, and it takes him a few seconds to realize that Taecyeon isn’t laughing. Instead, he’s picking at the food he didn’t finish, moving a few pieces of onions aside, then mixing them again with the food. He does this 5 times before MinJun pulls the plate away.
“Your jokes are of bad taste today, MinJun” Taecyeon simply says and gets up from the table. “Come on, they are probably waiting for us”
MinJun follows Taecyeon out, feeling like he missed something. Again. He gets ready to stop Taecyeon and ask, but the other stops before he could do anything, his next words leaving MinJun more confuse than ever.
"And I told you already.Is not a girl I'm interested in"
They end up canceling the recording for that day. MinJun’s pitch was off, he just couldn’t seem to get into the song, and the scolding he received was nothing in comparison to the cold shoulder Taecyeon seemed intent on giving him since they had gotten back from the restaurant.
That night, sleep was out of the question.
He lies in bed, D ’Angelo’s Alright blasting through his headphones, his hand outstretched, tracing patterns in the air. Patterns to the music notes of a song that is not his. He doesn’t get it, but his well of inspiration seem to be dry up. It’s a feeling he's not used to. Something he doesn’t know how to deal with.
The last time he had written anything consistent had been after he had dropped Taecyeon off at home that one night, and even that had been left as a few sentences to something that could possibly be amazing, but that he just couldn’t tap into again.
That's Alright,
We may have a misunderstanding
That's okay.
D’ Angelo’s voice is soothing, easy on the ears and he lets it carry him away. He thinks. Thinks of the events of the day, of what happened with Taecyeon. He thinks he said something wrong. He knows he did, but he just doesn’t know what exactly.
Truthfully he was relief.
He would never admit it, not to anyone, and especially not to himself, but in his current half-asleep state his mind was not asking for permission to wander. It was easily getting passed the barriers he had created, divulging secrets he was keeping even from himself.
Secrets he had hoped to never have to acknowledge.
We'll be Alright
Cause all we have to do is just talk for a while
And if we don't see eye to eye,
At least we tried.
He would talk to Taecyeon tomorrow. He would find a solution to whatever it was that was going wrong between them. He would go to the studio and fix his problem with the current lack of inspiration as well.
He didn’t know what was wrong, but he would figure it out.
He was already drifting into unconsciousness when the song change, the words to ‘Can’t Hide Love’ the last thing he heard before drifting off into restless sleep.
You can't pretend there's nothing there
I look in your eyes, I see you care
So why not stop trying to run and hide
You won't find out, if you never try