(no subject)
https://www.facebook.com/notes/aya-tantiangco/what-were-not-saying-about-kristel-tejada/142155362622440
What she says here, sums up exactly what I am feeling. I don't comment much on the UP Manila suicide case controversy, especially when the people around me keep blaming the forced LOA and No Late Payment policy as the only plausible reason for Kristel Tejada's suicide. Those are the shallow and naive thoughts of people who have never thought of taking their own lives, who have only take the word depression for its face value and not for what it truly implies.
It's not a short term thing. Saying you're depressed because you failed an exam, or you lost your phone or your boyfriend...THAT IS NOT DEPRESSION. It's all those things/experiences that happen in a long span of time, little things that could be almost inconsequential and yet build up inside your heart slowly but surely until one day it feels as if they have become one giant boulder that traps you under. And then there will be this one tiny pebble-this trigger that when placed on top of the boulder will be the one to crush you.
But how do you actually explain it to your friends? to your family? to a random stranger? Heck, even I can barely understand why I feel this way too. It's hard to open up even when they try to tell me to because I know they won't understand. And I know they won't sympathize. I know they will say I have nothing to be depressed about.
KNOW. I FUCKING NOW OKAY. But can I help it? NO. Because that is how I feel and no matter how hard I try IT WON'T GO AWAY.
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