I am in a weird mood. Where I float from one place to a next. I am happy I finally have some energy back, and I am very excited that I get to see Jeff today. God when I listen to myself talk i sound like Im obsessed with Him but Im not.. I just really like him. I was soo happy that I got to see Mikey today. I miss my "gay" boy so much. Damn Gram. I ( Read more... )

I am sick.. but better. I have some kind of chest thing. Blah. Gram is leaving to get me medicine. I wish Jeff would come over here and lay next to me... I want him so bad right now. I think im going to call him and listen to him say No to me.. because I am sick and he prob doesnt want to get sick. I dont even kno if its contagious.. *sigh*. After ( Read more... )

I want Him.. I want him everyday. I love him.. I love him everyday. I want to hold him.. everyday. It's not an obsession, but sometimes I wish it was so I can see him more often. I miss him. I need him. I want him. I love him. I snuggle with him. I talk with him. Maybe it is an obsession.. hopefully it is, b/c i know i can't have him.. he's too ( Read more... )

Well all in all today was a pretty depressing day. I felt so bad, thanks to my cuz, and I just wanted to go off and hide. He wouldn't leave me alone about smoking, he wouldn't leave me alone about how much he thought I was dirty.. and how disapproving of me he was. Well now that I am looking at myself from a different perspective, I miswell start ( Read more... )

I am finally reading the Bell Jar.. I am soo happy. But after the second page I was getting depressed b/c she had all these schloarships, and I remembered the one I didnt get in on time.. so I didnt get it. I am such a failure this year, and I can'tgo back and change it. I keep on falling farther and farther backwards. Really I keep on wanting to ( Read more... )

I am lost in my thoughts.. I have escaped into a land of confusion. I rest there. I look for a way out, but there isn't a way. I don't understand. I am confused... OK so I am going to the hospital for the 3rd time for the iodine pill.. and hopefully the third time will be the charm.. *cough cough*.. i figure gram will kick me out soon enough... ( Read more... )

Shes laying on the couch pissed at me for "doing everything wrong lately" while I sat here and work on my art piece. I figure before the yrs over she'll kick me out and then I will totally be on my own. I am feeling so depressed right now. I can't let out the feelings. They stick like gum onto my chest and try everything to get them to release. God ( Read more... )

Im tired as hell... overwhelmed with "popularity".. and i finally got back into "the zone" tonite. I love this art piece i am working on now. Its really good.. Very good. Im happy I finally found the inspiration for it. God I am tired. I have to clean up in this room so if gram wakes me up in the morning she can walk in here without tripping. Well ( Read more... )

ok here is something to fill up the page b/c i still dont kno how to cut it.. so here ( Read more... )

Ok so Im bored out of my mind, I am now a paying costomer for LJ, and I still cant load/find a single bitmap image. I dont know what to do abouit my icons. So I back to my old ones. Ok so how do other ppl load the bitmap images¿ Can someone please help¿