today, coulourless green ideas slept furiously
what do we mean when saying "thinking a lot?" does thinking about the same thing over and over count or only many different things do? and - more important - how do we stop "thinking a lot" and start thinking?
i was fourteen or fifteen when i felt my knees getting weak when seeing a guy for the first time. of course i had crushes before, from the age, like, five, but all those were sorta "mmm, what a cutie" and ended up awkward most of the times. i'm still a bit angry with myself for screwing up the first kiss by chosing one of those "cuties" and feeling less than nothing or better say, feeling totally wrong. but well, at least i learned from that mistake and my other significant experiences on that field were processed properly
but getting back to the moment i saw the universe spinning around that one guy i realize now - and it's rather weird considering my current circumstances - that a truly great thing we get by aging is the ability to fall in love madly, to have our hands shaking and tears running and most of all to feel that joy from a touch, or a smile, or a word. and it does not grow old and worn, this thing. i remember how i cried for hours when it was over back then and how i cried for hours ten years later laying on the floor in some other city and some other country over some other guy, and you know what? the world's falling apart absolutely the same way whether you are fifteen or thirty or - i guess - much much older. and it's good. because it's fundamental if not eternal. just wanted to say this to myself for i don't forget
and now the funny part of the entry:
I write like
Vladimir Nabokov
I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!
i was fourteen or fifteen when i felt my knees getting weak when seeing a guy for the first time. of course i had crushes before, from the age, like, five, but all those were sorta "mmm, what a cutie" and ended up awkward most of the times. i'm still a bit angry with myself for screwing up the first kiss by chosing one of those "cuties" and feeling less than nothing or better say, feeling totally wrong. but well, at least i learned from that mistake and my other significant experiences on that field were processed properly
but getting back to the moment i saw the universe spinning around that one guy i realize now - and it's rather weird considering my current circumstances - that a truly great thing we get by aging is the ability to fall in love madly, to have our hands shaking and tears running and most of all to feel that joy from a touch, or a smile, or a word. and it does not grow old and worn, this thing. i remember how i cried for hours when it was over back then and how i cried for hours ten years later laying on the floor in some other city and some other country over some other guy, and you know what? the world's falling apart absolutely the same way whether you are fifteen or thirty or - i guess - much much older. and it's good. because it's fundamental if not eternal. just wanted to say this to myself for i don't forget
and now the funny part of the entry:
I write like
Vladimir Nabokov
I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!