sometimes, i just really want a cigarette. like a 20s starlet, with bobbed hair and a smoky gaze.

okay, i admit it. i'm desperate to be thin. i'm skinny enough already, but i want to be thin. gorgeous, slender legs and arms and face. face, face, face. i want to be beautiful to me. and i never am. it makes me mad.

I cry. I cry a lot. I cry for everything and for nothing and I never realize the power it has over me until it's too late. I hate that crying makes me feel better most of the time, it makes me feel weak. it makes me feel like I only do it for attention or sympathy. that can't be true, at least not entirely. it's just sometimes I feel so miserable ( Read more... )

adding intrests now... this place is pretty interesting. it's one of those ugly days where every bit of grime and trash looks beautiful and I wish I could just stay in bed and listen to the rain. I miss the days when I had nothing to do.

livejournal has intrigued me for a while so I decided this morning to give it a try. none of my real friends know about it yet so if for some reason you stumble across this and you know who I am, be a doll and don't mention this yet. I searched around and found a few people who had some common intrests and journals that my old browser could read ( Read more... )