Welcome to Heartbreak
Title:Welcome to Heartbreak
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst/Drama
Paring: GRI
Summary: He glanced out at the city practically at his feet and laid his head against the cold glass.
It was all worthless.
~*~
Been listening to “Welcome to Heartbreak” By Kanye on repeat (I know, I dislike him too, but it was stuck in my head) and it just made me think about this:
~*~
Starting out the window of a top floor penthouse was breathtaking. Everyone who visited said so. Never mind that they never stayed for more than a night.
He glanced out at the city practically at his feet and laid his head against the cold glass.
It was all worthless.
Every moment he had traded family and friends for recording studios and parties; Every Won in the bank he had gotten with countless hours, pouring over smudged music sheets and pianos with missing keys; Every fan he had that he dedicated his life to that turned on him the moment he did something they didn’t approve of; Every lover he had ever taken to replace the one he should have kept.
It was all worthless.
He traced patterns against the glass and wondered how he could have fucked up so badly. He had his whole life planned. Music, money, home, family, produce maybe, then spend the rest of his life just outside the city with his wife until he was old and gray.
It was so perfect.
Until a panda-eyed boy broke in and tore his dream to shreds with his grin and never ending confidence. He smiled sadly at his reflection in the window and forced himself up from the window seat.
His world was worthless but it still moved on.
He grabbed his keys off the table, passing by the one photo he kept in every apartment he’d every moved to, and pretended that it mattered if he left the lights on or off.
His walk to and from the studio was the highlight of his day. He took the long way on Tuesdays to pass by the dance practice rooms and told himself it wasn’t-definitely wasn’t- because a certain maknae still booked the 9pm-Midnight space to work off steam. He tried to just walk past and not look over. Some days he managed to succeed, but more often than not, he stopped and stared in at the way the lone dancer’s body arched and flowed. He tried to not think about the way it felt under his fingertips and on his lips but the memories invaded regardless.
He sighed and told himself, just one more minute, every ten minutes until the music shut off and the man turned around. He knew it was worthless to hide, but tried anyways, ducking behind the door and sucking in greedy breaths of air. His heart beat so quickly in his chest, he actually placed a hand on it to make sure it didn’t pound right out.
“Jiyong?” His voice held the proper amount of surprise, so he didn’t worry that he knew all along. He glanced up at the bronzed boy that had somehow turned into a man while he was busy building his empty life.
“H-hey Seungri” He cursed his voice for sounding so shaky and immediately stood up straight to his full height, trying to exude confidence and arrogance. Seungri just smiled at him and he knew he had failed.
“What are you doing here?” Had he been paying proper attention he would have noticed it was not the nice type of smile.
“I just, I…” He stumbled over his words, cursing this man for turning him around so much. “I wanted to see you.”
He scoffed and took a step back.
“You were the one who told me to go, remember? Said I wasn’t a part of ‘the plan’.” His words became vicious and Jiyong knew he was no more healed than he. “How’s that working out for you now, anyways?”
Every word hit him solid in the chest and he almost stumbled backwards at how very cynical his panda had gotten. His throat worked overtime as he looked in his eyes and saw his own cold stare, glaring back at him.
Right, he had taught him that look.
“That’s about what I thought.” His words were softer, and he could swear he heard some of the old Ri, but it was gone in a second and he was bumping shoulders with him on his way out the door. Out of his life. Again. “Enjoy your empty life.”
He held two fingers over his beating chest to make sure it was still working. All the air pushed out of his lungs; The only thing keeping him from dropping to the floor, was sheer will power.
The door at the end of the hall closed tightly behind Seungri and he was struck suddenly with the lyric to finish the song he’d been agonizing over for weeks. The irony did not pass him by. He smiled sadly at the closed door, empty hands and a full heart.
“Welcome to Heartbreak…”
~*~
A/N: Yea, I swear, I'm going to write something fluffy sooner or later.
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