[Fic] Opus
Title: Opus
Genre: Thoughtful
Character: I'll leave that up to you
Rating: G
Summary: He had once been a better man. Now....it was all debatable.
Life, it seemed, was a little more complicated than he had originally planned.
Sometimes, if he had enough time to spare, he would sit alone in his room, just by the open window and close his eyes as the deep Seoul air brushed his hair into his eyes. And everything seemed so clear then. It was one of the perfect memories he held so dear to his heart. When everything else in life became a chore and the people around him wanted so much when he was stretched so thin, he could always sit alone in his one perfect space. Something full and rich caressed through his mind as the lilting melodies pressed at his ears, letting him forget how sick she was and how things were all about to change.
He ignored his phone buzzing and the computer beeping and just closed his eyes, not letting anything take this /one/ moment he had left before standing up to face the world; Hold his head high, be strong for them, keep a smile and a kind hand because they needed him to be. They could only deal and cry and take their moments in stride if he was 'always so strong. He never cried, you know? He was my rock. I don't know what I would have done with out him' and pretend it didn't hurt and it didn't make old memories of a boy in a hospital bed taking his last breaths far too soon, flood his mind with every wince and quiet gasp of pain she held back. If he were a more clever man he would know it was something disconnected in the broken part of his brain that made him stare into mirrors with slowly blinking eyes and wonder why the person there looked so unfamiliar. Surely he had to have kinder eyes than that?
The city lights were so bright and he found that the words he faced online and in the papers meant nothing to him anymore. He had spent so much time focusing on things that didn't matter to his heart that he wasted all the time he could have had with people and moments like this on things that would not be remembered in ten years time.
His eyes flicked to the small screen of his phone as it lit up but his heart grew cold and he only stared as they gave up and stopped calling. He had changed, he knew that much. And they would notice soon and change along or fall away. But for all the words of comfort given and received, all the tears over things that only hurt and had no purpose...they only made his heart close with the knowledge that they did not understand him. They did not wish to understand why or know the new him. They wished for how it was when he was a smiling boy that cared how their day had been and rushed up to meet them.
And he held all his thoughts inside and kept his secrets and pain close so they did not understand why he needed so badly to keep his moments in the dark, with only his opus and city lights.
And he hoped one day they would understand he still loved them all and he still cared so deeply, but his heart was cold. His fingers gently brushed over the window ledge, taking up task where he was so still. It was the moment his silence broke and he stood, grasping his smile and his kind words and tried to be a better man.
After all, his mother always had said, it is all anyone can ever ask of you.
Genre: Thoughtful
Character: I'll leave that up to you
Rating: G
Summary: He had once been a better man. Now....it was all debatable.
Click to viewLife, it seemed, was a little more complicated than he had originally planned.
Sometimes, if he had enough time to spare, he would sit alone in his room, just by the open window and close his eyes as the deep Seoul air brushed his hair into his eyes. And everything seemed so clear then. It was one of the perfect memories he held so dear to his heart. When everything else in life became a chore and the people around him wanted so much when he was stretched so thin, he could always sit alone in his one perfect space. Something full and rich caressed through his mind as the lilting melodies pressed at his ears, letting him forget how sick she was and how things were all about to change.
He ignored his phone buzzing and the computer beeping and just closed his eyes, not letting anything take this /one/ moment he had left before standing up to face the world; Hold his head high, be strong for them, keep a smile and a kind hand because they needed him to be. They could only deal and cry and take their moments in stride if he was 'always so strong. He never cried, you know? He was my rock. I don't know what I would have done with out him' and pretend it didn't hurt and it didn't make old memories of a boy in a hospital bed taking his last breaths far too soon, flood his mind with every wince and quiet gasp of pain she held back. If he were a more clever man he would know it was something disconnected in the broken part of his brain that made him stare into mirrors with slowly blinking eyes and wonder why the person there looked so unfamiliar. Surely he had to have kinder eyes than that?
The city lights were so bright and he found that the words he faced online and in the papers meant nothing to him anymore. He had spent so much time focusing on things that didn't matter to his heart that he wasted all the time he could have had with people and moments like this on things that would not be remembered in ten years time.
His eyes flicked to the small screen of his phone as it lit up but his heart grew cold and he only stared as they gave up and stopped calling. He had changed, he knew that much. And they would notice soon and change along or fall away. But for all the words of comfort given and received, all the tears over things that only hurt and had no purpose...they only made his heart close with the knowledge that they did not understand him. They did not wish to understand why or know the new him. They wished for how it was when he was a smiling boy that cared how their day had been and rushed up to meet them.
And he held all his thoughts inside and kept his secrets and pain close so they did not understand why he needed so badly to keep his moments in the dark, with only his opus and city lights.
And he hoped one day they would understand he still loved them all and he still cared so deeply, but his heart was cold. His fingers gently brushed over the window ledge, taking up task where he was so still. It was the moment his silence broke and he stood, grasping his smile and his kind words and tried to be a better man.
After all, his mother always had said, it is all anyone can ever ask of you.