♬ [FIC] SHINee: Project Watermelon
Project Watermelon Part 2 [ Part 1]
PG-16 / 14,418 words / Kim Kibum (SHINee) x Lee Jinki (SHINee) ; 2Min
For my beta, my partner-in-crime, avirjin: If we were pollinating trees, this would be the fruit (never mind that watermelons don’t grow on trees).
Day Five
Key has never taken anyone out on a real date. Their reality show doesn’t count because that was done in a controlled environment where he didn’t really care whether the noona liked him or not except he had to pretend because the script said so and because that was (an unwritten) part of his job’s description.
He stands at the entrance of Lotte World, tickets in one hand and Eunsook’s hand in another, thinking this dating thing shouldn’t be so hard. After all, charming girls into buying their records is what he does for a living and Eunsook is a girl no different from their noona fans.
“I’m not so sure what you want to do here, Key,” Eunsook says.
“Well, you’re the boss so we’ll do whatever you like,” replies Key. He flashes that confident smile that makes fans swoon but falters when he sees that it doesn’t affect Eunsook at all.
“There are a few rides I want to go on but I don’t think you’ll like them,” she bites her lip. “And I don’t think that beanie and sunglasses are helping you blend in. Are you sure it’s okay for us to go out like this?”
“Why would it not be okay? Don’t worry, noona. I’ll take good care of you,” Key raises his sunglasses a little, winks and tries the smile again. His heart surprises him by making a somersault when he manages to get a giggle out of his date.
“Okay. I’m putting my life in your hands now,”
“Yeah. So which ride do you want to go on first?”
A playful smile dances on Eunsook’s lips. “Are you sure you want me to pick the ride?”
- - -
Years of experience has given Choi-sshi a road manager’s version of the sixth sense. It makes him seem paranoid but more often than not, his instincts are so reliable and accurate that he might as well quit his job and become a fortuneteller.
This is why he did not ignore the feeling of his guts twisting in unnatural ways. He quickly drives back to SHINee’s dorm as soon as he sees Minho and Taemin safe inside their respective school gates.
“Where are those two?” Choi-sshi asks Jonghyun who laid face flat on the couch.
“Out on a date, leaving me here ♪ AAALL BY MYSEEEEEEEEELF ♪,” Jonghyun answers miserably. He rolls and falls on the floor with an unceremonious thud. “And Key took all my money.”
“...On a date where?”
“I don’t know. I’d say theme park because that’s where all the lovey dovey people go but I’m not so sure they’ll enjoy any of the rides because Key is a wuss,”
Choi-sshi’s eyes narrow dangerously but Jonghyun does not notice. “...And you let them go out. In public,”
Jonghyun rolls his eyes as if Choi-sshi was stupid.
“Naturally!” he answers as-a-matter-of-factly. “My heart may be shattered into millions of pieces but Eunsook-noona looked so happy and pretty I wouldn’t have been able to say no even if you held a gun to my face.”
“What if I held a gun to your face now?” says Choi-sshi, agitated. He walks over where the younger man is still lying on his back and towers over him. “Will you help me find them?”
Finally sensing the mixed waves of panic and anger emanating from their manager, Jonghyun stutters, “W-wait, what’d I do?”
“Nothing short of giving the netizens a full-blown feast,” Choi-sshi mutters under his breath before dragging Jonghyun off the floor and out the dorm.
If his instincts are right (like they always are), they’re already too late so instead of prevention methods he thinks of damage control: locate, retrieve, and invent some bullshit to explain Jinki’s absence-and the appearance of Eunsook-to the higher ups.
- - -
“OH GOD I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE THERE!”
Eunsook laughs. Key thinks he would have enjoyed just watching her eyes become tiny slits whenever laughter bubbles out of her if only his heart isn’t still pounding like crazy and his blood isn’t still rushing to his ears like an angry river.
During the day they spent together in the theme park, several thoughts have entered his mind. First, he realized that Eunsook isn’t so bad. She’s just his old Jinki-hyung in a girl’s body, still clumsy, weird, funny and smart in the way only SHINee’s leader knows how to be. If he could learn to like Jinki (platonically, of course), how hard could it be to like Eunsook too? Second, now that Eunsook has the feminine ability to be sensitive, which he always wished Jonghyun possessed, Key thinks she could even qualify as his other best friend. Third, with a pervert living with them, Eunsook needs someone to protect her when Minho is not around. Key decides he will be that person.
He sets aside these thoughts as he struggles to keep himself from barfing after two rounds of rollercoaster rides. Eunsook asked him a million times if it was okay before they went on the ride again but Key just can’t say no to girls with or without a script because he likes making them feel special. Do unto others what you want them to do unto you. So he got on a second time and now he feels like the ground is spinning under his feet.
“I’m sorry, Key!” says Eunsook as she rubs circles on his back. “I really shouldn’t have asked you to go again.”
Key waves a hand in front of him. “No, it’s okay. I’m fine. You had fun, right?”
“Yeah, I did, but...,” Eunsook frowns.
“Hey, what’s with that face?” Key straightens up and puts an arm around Eunsook’s shoulders. “We came here to have fun and do the stuff that dating couples do. How about we get ice cream? Will that make you feel better?”
Eunsook’s ears go pink and she stares at Key.
“Dating couples?”
“What? There’s two of us, which makes a pair, and we’re on a date so we’re technically a ‘dating couple’. You should’ve thought of that before you kissed me last night,”
“I-I did that to s-shut you up!” the older girl stutters. She steps away from her dongsaeng. Key laughs.
“Maybe. But I think you liked it too,”
“I did not!” Eunsook protests but her pink face and shaky voice tells otherwise so the younger boy gives her a kiss in the middle of a busy area of the theme park. She pulls away as soon as she recovers from the shock-an intermission that lasted a millisecond too long because before she could give a proper reaction, a wide-eyed girl screams, catching a lot of attention.
“OMG! IT IS SHINEE’S KEY!”
Key and Eunsook freeze on their spot as the crowd gathers around them with their cellphones and cameras. This is the moment when Choi-sshi comes crashing against bodies, grabbing them both, and pulling them away from the circle of pedestrians hungry for a scandal. Security arrives a little too late because by then, Key and Eunsook are sitting quietly at the backseat of the car.
Jonghyun sits in the passenger seat. He doesn’t say anything for the rest of the journey back home but silence is not a problem because Choi-sshi serves them reproach on a silver platter.
- - -
Their manager is on the phone when Jonghyun tiptoes out of the living room but Choi-sshi turns around just in time to catch him and drag him back by the collar of his Donald Duck shirt (actually, it is Jinki’s but Jonghyun figures Eunsook doesn’t need it now anyway).
“You’re not leaving until you explain to me exactly what happened here,” says Choi-sshi in that strict manager tone he uses only when the boys are in big trouble. However, this time, Jonghyun thinks it is more of ‘gargantuan’ than ‘big’. “Speak up before I lose my patience.”
“Okay, okay...,” Jonghyun looks uneasily at Key and Eunsook who are sitting on the couch with him. “Key and I had a competition thing. We both cook breakfast for Eunsook-noona. She picks whatever tastes best and whoever wins gets to take her out on a date. Key won, I lost.”
Choi-sshi eyes the three teenagers suspiciously. He thinks he’s starting to act like a girl’s strict conservative father. It gives him goose bumps.
“I’m sorry, hyung,” Eunsook says. “I should’ve been more responsible. I shouldn’t have agreed to the bet. As the leader, it’s my duty to take care of my members and to prioritize their safety. This is my failure, not theirs. I deserve the punishment, hyung. Please let them off.”
Choi-sshi shakes his head. “I don’t know what the hell happened to you, Jinki, but I think whatever it is messed not only with your gender but also with your head. And the two of you-,” he turns to Key and Jonghyun, “-recklessness is one thing but stupidity is another. How could you even think of going out on a date with a girl?”
“Would it have been better if either of us went out on a date with Jinki-hyung instead of Eunsook-noona?” asks Jonghyun almost innocently, if not for a knowing glance at Key (which the latter does not catch).
Choi-sshi grabs a magazine from nearby and hits Jonghyun’s head with it. “That’s not funny. Don’t be obnoxious,”
“Hyung, please, it’s not their fault,” Eunsook pleads once more. “I sh-”
“Noona doesn’t have anything to do with this, hyung,” Key interrupts. “It’s all Jonghyun-hyung’s stupid idea and it was even more stupid of me to agree to it.”
“But, Key, I shouldn’t have let you both-,”
“No, noona, this isn’t about the breakfast bet. I think it’s very unfair for us-for me-not to tell you this. You deserve to know,” says Key. He has his eyes on the floor. “Jonghyun-hyung and I had a bet before that. Whoever gets you as his girlfriend wins. The loser treats you and the winner to a date at Lotte World.”
Eunsook looks at him and Jonghyun in horror. Choi-sshi’s facial expression matches hers.
“At first I said no because I hated you but he taunted me because he knows I can’t really say no to a challenge-,”
“Don’t listen to him, noona! He doesn’t hate you. In fact-,”
Eunsook stands up from the couch, her whole body shaking. Disgust replaces the horror on her face and tears begin to well up in her eyes. “You played with me,”
“Yes, I did,”
“No, we didn’t! He didn’t!” Jonghyun shoots up from his side of the couch but Eunsook ignores him. Key keeps his eyes on the floor.
“A-all this time... I-I-I thought... and y-y-you just...,”
“Noona, this is all a misunderstanding! Believe me!”
“Shut up, Jonghyun!” Eunsook screams. “I won’t believe any of your lies anymore. I hate you! I hate all of you!” She runs to the bedroom and slams the door behind her.
Choi-sshi runs a hand through his hair. Jonghyun crouches on the floor and covers his face with his hands. Both of them groan.
“The girls never gave me this kind of trouble,” Choi-sshi mutters to himself but it is loud enough for the boys to hear.
“Well, did anyone of them turn into the opposite sex?” says Jonghyun. Choi-sshi doesn’t answer so he turns to Key. “You’re an idiot, you know that?”
“If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have accepted your challenge no matter now much you taunted me,” says Key.
Choi-sshi lets out a heavy sigh. “There’s still damage control to do-the netizens are probably dining in scandal heaven right now. This drama thing with Jinki better be fixed before Minho and Taemin get back from school,”
“Are you kidding me?” says Jonghyun. “Key just ruined everything! There’s no way we can fix this that fast, if at all!”
Key rolls his eyes and finally lifts them from the floor to meet Jonghyun’s. “I’m sorry for having a conscience, then,”
Jonghyun flails in exasperation. “UGH! SERIOUSLY. You are such an IDIOT,”
“You can hit each other if you want but that’s not going to help you,” says Choi-sshi. “I’m going now. You turn off your phones, don’t go out and don’t answer the door unless it’s me. Got it?”
The boys nod.
“Please behave. Don’t make this harder for all of us,”
The boys nod again. Their manager doesn’t seem convinced but he leaves anyway.
Jonghyun looks at Key and tells him again, only quietly this time: “You are an idiot.”
That night, Choi-sshi returns only to deposit Minho and Taemin from school and immediately leaves again. A deafening silence-a suffocating tension-blankets the SHINee household but no one dares break it.
Articles of the incident at Lotte World show up on the World Wide Web.
- - -
Day Six
Taemin can’t fall asleep. He blames it on Eunsook’s (suppressed) sobbing and he wants to think that he’s angry but at the back of his head, he knows that he’s sad and worried. He slowly pulls his blanket off over his head and takes a peak at her direction.
It’s two o’clock in the morning when Minho slips in with Eunsook under her blankets and drapes an arm over her waist. She doesn’t stop sobbing but she cuddles closer to her dongsaeng. Taemin sees this as clearly as the light from outside their window allowed him to see.
He doesn’t say anything.
“I’m sorry, Minho,” he hears Eunsook’s muffled whisper.
Minho replies but Taemin can’t catch the words and the rest of the hushed conversation is drowned by Taemin’s pounding heart. The blood rushing to his ears makes him nauseous so he jumps off his bed, rushes to the bathroom, and starts retching. He looks up from the toilet bowl to find that Minho and Eunsook had followed him. He doesn’t notice the tears in his eyes.
“Taemin-ah...,” Eunsook crouches beside Taemin and brushes his hair off his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“Don’t touch me,” Taemin manages to choke out. “Leave me alone.”
Eunsook freezes.
“Noona, you can go back to bed,” says Minho. He takes Eunsook by the shoulders and steers her back to the bedroom. “I’ll take care of this.”
“B-but...,”
“It’s okay. Don’t worry,”
Reluctantly, Eunsook leaves and Minho makes sure that she is out of earshot before taking her place beside the magnae.
“I don’t understand what’s going on with you, Taemin, but I hope you know that I will always listen to what you have to say,” he says quietly. “I’m worried but I will wait until you’re ready to tell me what’s wrong.”
“Go back to Eunsook-noona,” whispers Taemin between sobs. “She needs you more than I do.”
“Their problem is something I can’t help them with,”
“And you think you can help me with mine?”
Minho pauses to consider. “Yes, I do, if you would tell me what your problem is,”
Tears flow like a river down Taemin’s reddened cheeks. He clutches the toilet bowl as if he’s hanging on for his life. “Hyung, I’ll always have you, right? Right?”
Minho gathers the magnae in his arms. “Always,”
- - -
Jonghyun likes to think that he’s an expert in handling PMS-ing girls. After all, he’s had to deal with an older sister all his life. However, Eunsook isn’t his sister and Eunsook isn’t an ordinary PMS-ing girl. Eunsook happens to be a female Lee Jinki and he has never dealt with a PMS-ing Lee Jinki before, much less a female PMS-ing one.
(Jinki doesn’t PMS. He sulks. There’s a difference, in Jonghyun’s masculine opinion.)
Suffice to say that Jonghyun is at a loss. He’s not exactly sure what to do when he finds Eunsook on the couch, stuffing spoonfuls of chocolate ice cream in her mouth, at six o’clock in the morning. She’s crying while watching My Sassy Girl.
“The girl didn’t come,” she whispers between sobs. Jonghyun only nods. He’s seen the movie so many times before because Key just couldn’t get over it. Every time, Key would cry on the exact same parts of the movie-the exact same parts that Eunsook is crying over now.
In a few minutes, Minho will wake up and proceed into shaking Taemin and Key awake to prepare for the busy day ahead. Jonghyun decides that it’s not appropriate to let the younger boys wake up to the sight of Eunsook dismally low in spirits so he takes the tub of ice cream from her hands and turns the DVD player off. Eunsook lets out a whimper of protest but does not move from her seat.
“Noona,” Jonghyun says as he puts the ice cream away in the freezer, “we really need to talk.”
“I’m not listening to liars,” says Eunsook. She curls up on the couch, tiny and fragile. Jonghyun almost forgets that this girl was once (still is) Jinki-hyung.
“Okay, so maybe I did lie,” says Jonghyun, taking the empty spot beside Eunsook. “But there were a few things that I didn’t lie about and I did what I did because I care for you a lot. You know how sometimes you have to say things you don’t mean for the good of someone you love? It’s like that.”
“What good did your lie do for me?” Eunsook cries. “Have you gone online lately? It’s all over the internet now, Jonghyun. The damage is irreparable!”
“I know I shouldn’t have let you go out in the first place and I’m really sorry for that. Key was stupid for kissing you in public but no one really recognized you as Lee Jinki, right? The Key-kissing-a-girl is the only issue we’ll have to take care of now. When you go back to normal, everything will be fine. Don’t worry about it,”
Eunsook abruptly stands up and gives Jonghyun a slap so hard it sounded like a bat hitting a baseball.
“What do you mean ‘when I go back to normal’?!” screams Eunsook, face wet with tears. “Jonghyun, were you thinking of me as an abnormality all this time? Jinki’s name might be safe from this scandal but what do you think he feels-what I feel? Are you not going to consider that too, just like when all of you share an inside joke I never get or eat all the ice cream before I even find out that there was any or complain about my failure to lead when I’m trying so very hard to please all of you or overtake me on the way to the shower without a ‘Thanks for letting me go first, hyung’ even when I clearly got there first and am absolutely dying but didn’t protest anyway because I know you’re tired too?! Tell, me, Jonghyun. What if I don’t go back to ‘normal’? What if Jinki never returns?” She hiccups and sloppily wipes her tears with her palms. “...You never cared about my feelings before. It was stupid of me to believe that you cared about my feelings now.”
“That’s not-,” Jonghyun begins to say but Eunsook is already in the bedroom, burying herself under layers of pillows and blankets.
Taemin emerges from the bedroom a little while later and tucks himself beside Jonghyun on the couch. “I never knew he felt that way,”
“I bet you Minho knew, since he knows everything and all that,” replies Jonghyun. “Speaking of Minho... where the hell is that kid? He should’ve been up before you.”
The magnae seems to contemplate on how to answer but he finally says, “He’s already awake.” He plays with his hands. Jonghyun notices the bottle of hand cream Taemin is holding and recognizes it as Key’s. He freezes.
“What are you going to do with that?” he asks, nervous.
“Nothing much,” the magnae answers before opening the bottle and spilling the contents all over the floor in front of him. Jonghyun jumps off his seat.
“TAEMIN, STOP IT!” he shouts and attempts to slap the bottle off the younger boy’s hand. Taemin has quicker reflexes, however, so he manages to get off the couch and run around, spilling Key’s hand cream all over the room.
When Key sees the mess in the living room, he explodes like a volcano and starts saying things like “you’re grounded!” even if technically he has no authority to ground Taemin. The magnae is almost pleased-Key’s outburst reminds him of the mother he misses-but he is short of satisfied. The real reason he did it (and everything else that warranted him a scolding from Key this week) did not even bother to come out of the bedroom until he is certain that Eunsook is already calm and safe to leave alone.
He decides he’ll have to try other tactics.
- - -
People’s things start to disappear. It begins with Key’s camera.
“Whoever is hiding my camera, IT’S NOT FUNNY!” Key screams. He has turned the whole place upside down and yet he found no sign of it.
As the rest of the household scrambles to search for the missing camera, Eunsook buries herself deeper in her fortress of pillows, blankets, and stuffed toys that seemed to pile up on her bed.
Key and Eunsook haven’t spoken to each other since the revelation last night (for the first time the Almighty doesn’t know what to say) so it makes little sense to comfort her right now. Instead, he counts one to ten and take deep breaths to calm down and refrain from shouting.
When Minho locates the camera, which was hidden in Choi-sshi’s underwear drawer, Jonghyun shrieks. His iPod is missing.
The cycle continues for the rest of the day-something goes missing, Minho finds it in places no one will ever even think of putting them in, and another thing goes missing again-until Minho successfully corners the magnae while in the act of hiding Jinki’s Eric Benet CD in the kitchen cupboard. “Why are you doing this?”
Taemin feigns innocence. He pushes the CD further into the cupboard, using bottles and cans to hide it from plain sight. “Doing what?”
“That,”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,”
Minho sighs, takes the CD from the cupboard and returns it on the rack. When he comes back to speak to Taemin, the younger boy is already gone.
- - -
His sister may be a pain in the ass sometimes but he loves her to bits. After meeting Key, Jonghyun discovered that there are worse bitches in the world and began loving her even more. Where Key is totally useless, his noona does a great job.
Jonghyun’s sister poked the mountain of comforters. “Eunsook-ah... Get up. Let’s have ice cream and watch a movie,”
Eunsook’s reply is muffled. “I already did that,”
“Well, then, we can watch another movie and eat cake instead,”
“I don’t want to,”
“It will make you feel better,”
“Nothing will ever make me feel better,”
“Aish! Don’t say that. Come on. The boys are worried about you,”
“No, they’re not. They don’t care about me,”
“That’s not true.” Jonghyun’s sister pulls back the sheets, revealing a much-disheveled Eunsook. “Get up there and stop sulking.”
Eunsook sits up and pouts. “Unni, look at me. I’m ugly!”
“That’s what crying your eyes out does. Come on; let’s get you properly groomed,”
“What’s the point? I’m a failure. I’m ugly. Everybody hates me,”
Jonghyun’s sister sighs and sits beside Eunsook. “You’re not a failure and you’re not ugly. So what if the rest of the world hates you? I like you and you mean the whole world to the boys. That should be enough,”
“They lied to me...,”
“I’m sure my brother had his reasons,”
“...What if I stay like this forever? What will happen to SHINee? How will I face my family and friends like this?”
“Well... I don’t really know about that but I’m sure things will get better. Besides, you’re too pretty. I bet SME won’t be able to let go of you so easily,”
Eunsook smiles weakly.
“I really like you for my brother but by the looks of it, he has other plans,” says Jonghyun’s sister. “I remember you saying in an interview that you’d pick Key if you were a girl. Is that still true now?”
“...,”
“Okay, wrong question. You up for a movie marathon?”
- - -
It is one hour to midnight. With Eunsook in a better mood, the SHINee household is noticeably more peaceful. Jonghyun and Key are able to fall asleep faster without the sobs of their leader to guilt trip them into insomnia. The magnae sees this as an opportunity to sneak out. To where, he hasn’t decided yet but he figures he’ll get there when he crosses the figurative bridge. The point is to sneak out for no apparent reason other than he’s not supposed to do it.
His hand is already on the doorknob when Minho’s deep voice jumps at him from the shadows. “Where are you going?”
“Wherever my feet take me,”
Minho doesn’t scold Taemin or grab his arm and drag him back to bed. “Okay. Come back before they wake up,”
That is not what you’re supposed to say, Taemin thinks as he bolts out and slams the door.
- - -
Day Seven
Jonghyun refuses to admit that, technically, this whole shenanigan wouldn’t have happened if he didn’t fan the fire. It is his belief that nobody can blame him. After all, watching it slowly burn its surroundings was too frustrating and putting it out was too depressing so what’s a well-meaning bystander to do other than encourage it?
The thing is that the fire starters completely ignored the fire they started even when the smoke was already suffocating them, and the flames were already eating them alive. Jonghyun had to do something, didn’t he?
That is how he explains everything to Minho. Minho may be younger but he’s the only one who makes sense in the SHINee household and definitely the only one who can be trusted on this.
“I don’t think that’s an appropriate metaphor to use,” Minho tells him.
“I don’t think this is the proper time to criticize my choice of metaphors,” he replies, annoyed.
“Hm. What do you want me to do, then?”
“I want you to help me fix my boo-boo,”
Minho sighs and Jonghyun knows that the younger boy is leaning heavily on not giving him a hand at this. He knows that the answer to his proposal goes something along the lines of ‘clean your own shit, asshole’ but Minho is just too polite to say it without prior censoring.
It is when Jonghyun started considering dropping to his knees to beg when a fuming Choi-sshi bursts into the dorm half-dragging a half-unconscious Taemin. Minho rushes to the magnae’s side and lifts him up in his arms but not before flinching in surprise, Jonghyun notes. This reaction is promptly explained by Choi-sshi nagging his head off.
“-can’t believe you, you’re sixteen! Why the hell would you let Kim Heechul-of all people, really-take you out to drink? Something should be done about that guy too, I mean, seriously-,”
Taemin sleepily giggles against Minho’s chest, totally ignoring their manager.
Well, I guess everyone has problems to deal with, Jonghyun thinks, and wonders if Heechul wouldn’t mind another underage freeloader tonight.
- - -
A Continuation to Jonghyun’s Guide to Overcoming Addiction Fixing Problems That Your Friend Doesn’t Have the Balls To Deal With Alone
The first step is always to admit there is a problem.
The thing about Key (which Jonghyun hates) is that he is horribly, terribly, annoyingly stubborn. He will deny his faults to the grave and will not admit to anything that he thinks will degrade his wonderful person even if held at gunpoint. This brings us to Jonghyun’s current problem: how to make perfect, faultless Key admit that he actually likes Jinki-dorkiness, failure and all.
Jonghyun corners Key on the way to the restroom during practice break and holds out a very unflattering Polaroid of Eunsook messily eating a pint of Baskin-Robbins Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough.
“My sister took this yesterday,” says Jonghyun. “Isn’t she so adorable~?”
Key stares at him blankly. “What are you doing?”
“Showing you what you are missing,” answers the older boy as he leans against the doorframe. “Look at that cute face. You can’t honestly tell me that you don’t like her without DHL-ing your head to hell.”
“So what if I do like her? I like Taemin. I like Nicole. I like Jinwoon. What’s the difference?”
“The difference is that you don’t like Eunsook-noona the way you like Taemin and Nicole and Jinwoon. I’m pretty sure your heart doesn’t go ‘dugeun dugeun dugeun’ around them just like how it does when she’s around~,”
Key gives Jonghyun his wtf-are-you-talking-about face. “What makes you think my heart does that around her?”
“What made you kiss her?”
Key looks away and shrugs to feign lack of care. It takes him a moment too late to think of a proper comeback for when he turns back to Jonghyun, the older boy is already sporting a triumphant grin.
“What’s with that face? It was a spontaneous thing, okay?” he spits with a matching scowl.
“Spontaneous thing, eh?” Jonghyun wiggles his eyebrows. “I don’t suppose you’ve experienced that kind of impulsive urge around Jinki-hyung, hm?”
It pleases Jonghyun that his strategy is actually working. He has never seen Key so embarrassed and pink since he ‘accidentally’ read the first few pages of his diary.
“WHA-WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I-I’m not gay!”
“Right, and I am Corbin Bleu’s twin brother. Keep telling yourself that. Maybe you’ll start believing it,”
Jonghyun is taken aback when Key pushes him angrily. “Yeah, so I like her. So my heart does stupid back flips around her. So I wasn’t able to stop myself from kissing her in a public place, leading to the greatest feast in SHINee Anti history. This is all your fault anyway! Why do I have to deal with this shit?!”
“Because there are things you can’t run away from,” says Jonghyun. “Tell me, Key, honestly: Why were you so angry with Eunsook-noona in the first place?”
Key bites his lower lip and for a moment there, Jonghyun thinks he will bolt away, but the younger boy sinks to the floor and refuses to meet his eyes.
“Well, first, because it wasn’t a funny joke, when we thought it was a joke,” says Key. “Then it was annoying because it should be him taking care of us, not the other way around. It’s always us looking out for him, always me worrying, when it’s his job as the leader, then he suddenly turns into a damsel in distress for what? So that we can worry more about him?”
“You gave in anyway,”
“Of course. She’s my friend and she’s a girl. I’d be a total asshole if I don’t do anything,”
“It’s not just because of our bet, right?”
Key keeps silent.
Jonghyun shrugs. “I guess that’s as good a confession as I’ll ever get out from you,”
The younger boy finally looks up at Jonghyun who extends a hand to him. “What now?”
“You get up from there and we do something about this,”
Key let’s Jonghyun pull him up. He dusts himself off and looks straight at the older boy. “By the way, I’m not gay,”
- - -
This is what greets Eunsook when she wakes up: Minho quietly undressing a passed-out Taemin and Choi-sshi going on and on with his speech on underage drinking. Careful deduction lands Eunsook to the supposition that their manager’s litany is meant for Taemin (surely, Minho is sensible enough not to get drunk and warrant a scolding if he ever decides to try alcohol) but it is obviously falling on deaf ears.
Eunsook abruptly sits up-winces at her bones cracking-and lets out a short panicked scream. “Taemin-ah! What happened?!”
“He got drunk,” says Choi-sshi gravely. “Eunsookie, you promise me you’ll never ever get drunk like this, okay? It’s bad for your health and it’s dangerous. And you’re in enough scandal as it is.”
Eunsook nods slowly as she watches Minho tuck in their magnae. Choi-sshi mutters something about having a talk with Kim Heechul and leaves shortly after giving his younger charges instructions on how to help Taemin sober up when he awakens.
Minho sits on the edge of Eunsook’s bed, his eyes on the floor, and quietly apologizes. “I let him go out last night,”
“It’s not your fault,” said Eunsook. “You didn’t know this would happen.”
When the younger boy does not answer, Eunsook shifts position so that she is sitting right beside him. She gives him a comforting pat on the back.
“I told him to come back before everybody wakes up,” Minho confesses. “I stayed up all night to wait.”
“So that he’ll know that someone will always be waiting for him to come back no matter how far he strays and how long he stays away?”
Minho looks up to meet Eunsook’s eyes. He tilts his head questioningly. Eunsook smiles.
“I always hope to have someone like that,” says Eunsook with a shrug. “You know, other than my parents. Isn’t it comforting to know that someone cares just because?”
Minho nods, smiling. “Thank you.”
“Taemin is lucky.”
“Key-hyung is, too,” says Minho, taking Eunsook by surprise. He holds her hand and gives it a pat. “We’ll wait together, noona.”
Eunsook laughs. “I guess it takes one to know one.”
- - -
A Continuation to Jonghyun’s Guide to Overcoming Addiction Fixing Problems That Your Friend Doesn’t Have the Balls To Deal With Alone
The second step is to be willing and open to change.
“We both know that when Eunsook-noona goes back to being Jinki-hyung, nothing is ever going to be the same,” Jonghyun says with the air of a general explaining the state of a battle. “It’s going to be extra awkward since you were stupid enough to admit to our bet but we can fix this... only if you want to.”
Key deadpans. “First of all, it wasn’t stupid of me to tell her about the bet. It was only fair that I did.”
“You’re missing my point. Do you want to do something about this or not?”
“Of course, I do!”
“Great. Now there’s something I have to confess,”
“That you’re gay and in love with me?” Key says in a gasp, with wide eyes of surprise. Jonghyun scowls.
“Ew, no, of course not. If there’s anyone I’d be gay for, it’s definitely not you. Anyway...,” he clears his throat, “I overheard you talking to Nicole on the phone some time ago. And before that-remember when you fought with him during practice?-I caught Jinki-hyung crying in the bathroom after he thought all of us already went to bed. So I saw this as an opportunity. If you get what I mean.”
“... I don’t get what you mean,”
Jonghyun flailed his arms, exasperated. “Come on, Key, you’re not stupid and neither am I. I knew, before all this, that you like Jinki-hyung the way those crazy fangirls think you do and that he likes you back. Neither of you will do anything about it because you’re both boys and you both won’t admit that you’re gay for each other-,”
“I’m not gay!”
“-and you think that your feelings are not returned and you’re worried of what Minho, Taemin, and I would think but we all think it’s fine perfectly fine-,”
“They know?!”
“-so we thought of what to do about it for a long time and then Jinki-hyung turned into a girl so I thought it was perfect! All I had to do was get you two together. There shouldn’t be a problem because you’re a boy and she’s a girl and there’s nothing gay about that, but you were being stubborn and you kept bullying her still so I challenged you and lost on purpose. So here we are now.”
Key glares and curls his fingers around the nearest object he could reach, which happens to be an empty can of Pepsi.
“I will count to five and you better be out of my sight by five or else I will drive this thing through your skull,” he says darkly.
Jonghyun is already out the door before Key could even start counting.
- - -
Maybe it isn’t exactly the best idea in the world but it triggered the desired effect and that’s the only thing that matters to Taemin now. He wakes up to a splitting headache and to Eunsook fussing over him as if he is dying in a hospital bed but he decides he doesn’t really mind since Minho’s attention is on him.
Except that Minho isn’t talking.
Minho has been spending ten minutes in cooling a cup of tea for him. When Eunsook leaves the room to make fruit juice, Taemin breaks the silence.
“Say something,”
“I don’t want to say anything without hearing your side first,” Minho replies calmly. “Sit up and drink this.”
For the first time that week, Taemin does what he is told. He takes the cup from Minho and finds that it is made to be exactly how he likes his tea.
“This isn’t just random bouts of teenage rebellion, is it, Taemin?” Minho asks after Taemin takes a sip. He maintains his calm demeanor and it almost makes the magnae ashamed of himself. Taemin hangs his head low.
“I’m sorry, hyung,”
Minho pats him on the head. “As long as you don’t do it again... Tell me what’s wrong,”
Taemin feels the heat rise to his cheeks and the tears well up in his eyes. He holds back a sob. “I-I was jealous... because everyone was paying attention to Eunsook-noona. Everybody likes her, even Taesung-hyung completely forgot about me when he saw her. A-And... And... And you like her a lot. You take care of her and protect her like how you used to do for me. You said I’ll always have you and I didn’t used to worry because I believe you and I never thought it didn’t mean I’ll never have to share you with anyone else.”
He pauses to sob and to chug down the rest of his cup’s contents. The tea is no longer very hot but it is sufficiently warm for him to sense it burn down his throat.
“I’m so sorry for being selfish, hyung. I promise to behave from now on,” he says finally before closing his eyes to await punishment. Instead, he hears Minho sigh and feels the older boy pat him again on the head.
“Taemin, you never had to share me with anyone,”
Minho says it quietly but Taemin’s heart heard it well.
- - -
The Conclusion to Jonghyun’s Guide to Overcoming Addiction Fixing Problems That Your Friend Doesn’t Have the Balls To Deal With Alone
The third is to actually do something about the problem.
Purple hyacinth means sorrow, “I’m sorry” or “Please forgive me”. Eunsook wonders if a bouquet of the same flower is any indication of the giver’s sincerity.
“I’m not so sure if you like purple...,” says Key, his face flushing and his eyes downcast. He holds out a bunch of purple hyacinths tied with a lacy pink ribbon.
“Well, I’m not so sure if I’d like to forgive you,” says Eunsook hesitantly.
The arm that is holding out the bouquet falls limp to Key’s side. He slowly raises his head to meet Eunsook’s eyes. “Of course. I’m not blaming you. I was hoping you would listen to what I have to say, though.”
Eunsook blows a strand of hair off her face and when it lands on the same spot, she reaches to tuck it behind her ear, frustrated. This isn’t exactly the best time to disturb her train of thought-there is someone with a hangover to take care of-but she decides it’s better to deal with the train wreck now than just stand there watching it happen in slow motion.
She crosses her arms on her chest. “Fine,” she says. “I’m not as heartless as you are so I’ll lend you an ear.”
Key draws a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I really am. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done that hurt you. I’m sorry for always bullying you. I’m sorry for laughing when you make mistakes. I’m sorry for not listening to you and ignoring your authority as our leader. I’m sorry for accepting Jonghyun’s challenge.”
No longer able to look at Key straight in the eye, Eunsook decides to busy herself with the task of looking for a vase to put the flowers in. She takes Key’s pausing as an opportunity to look away and rummage through the kitchen cupboards.
“You know why I hated you so much? It’s because I hate how you always make me worry about you. You get into accidents, you keep hurting yourself, and now you turned into a girl. Who knows what other dangers you’re going to put yourself in?” He takes a step closer to Eunsook but she doesn’t turn to him.
“Shouldn’t you be taking care of me, hyung?” (Eunsook flinches at the honorific used.) “Shouldn’t you be the one worrying, not me?”
Feelings are shaken, not stirred. Eunsook shakily grabs a random glass container and accidentally slams the cupboard door too hard. Its contents rattle inside.
“Remember when I said I like you a lot? I meant that,” Key confesses. He takes the container from Eunsook, fills it with tap water and arranges the bouquet in it. He offers it back to her. “I really meant that, hyung.”
Eunsook takes the flowers and sets it on the dining table beside the fruit juice she was making. She still refuses to look at Key. “I like you too.”
“That’s good to know.”
“I don’t know if I forgive you yet.”
“Okay, but there’s another thing you need to know.”
“... This isn’t a prank, is it?”
“No. Jonghyun-hyung set us up.”
Eunsook looks up and raises an eyebrow. “What?”
“That bet? He did that to set us up. He never meant to win.”
“B-but why?”
Key looks away but not before Eunsook notices his face turn pink. “Because he knows.”
“T-That is so not fair!”
“Well, since we’re like this now, we might as well satisfy him.” Key snakes his arms around Eunsook’s waist, pulls her against him and kisses her. She pushes away, scandalized, but he keeps his hold on her.
“What do you think you’re doing?!” she hisses. She pouts and adds, “...in the kitchen?”
“We’re just kissing-unless you have plans of going further, in which case we can take this to the bathroom.”
He kisses her again before she can say anything more and she kisses back. Three important things are now quickly forgotten: Taemin’s fruit juice, the fact that the younger boys are awake in the other room, and that they are in the kitchen, in plain view of anyone who happens to stumble in the living room. (It is in this situation that Eunsook thinks it’s a pity spacious apartments don’t come in prices that rookies can afford.)
Key slips a hand under her skirt and tugs Eunsook closer, but they violently crash into each other, causing them to lose their balance, stagger and finally fall on the floor. Key ungracefully lands on top.
“Ow!” Key winces as he scrambles to get back to his feet. He helps Eunsook up. “Aren’t your gigantic boobs supposed to cushion my-WHAT THE FUCK?! YOUR BOOBS ARE GONE, HYUNG. HOW’D YOU TURN BACK?”
“Wait-what?” Eunsook looks down to find her-his chest perfectly flat. He then realizes that his hair is no longer anywhere past his shoulders and that his manhood is back where it belongs. He feels like he’s back in School of Rock. “WHAT?!”
“OH MY GOD, HYUNG, JUST GO AND CHANGE OUT OF THOSE CLOTHES, SERIOUSLY, YOU’RE SCARRING MY INNOCENT MIND!!!”
“INNOCENT?! YOU’RE THE ONE WHO SLIPPED A HAND UNDER MY SKIRT.”
“WELL, IT’S JUST LIKE YOU TO TURN BACK IN THE MIDDLE OF A MAKE-OUT SESSION.”
Minho sticks his head out the bedroom doorway. “Hyung, you may deal with UST all you like but I’m hoping you’d tone it down a bit. We don’t really need to hear about it.”
When Minho disappears into the bedroom, both boys fall silent. Jinki speaks first. “So. What now?”
“You change out of that thing, and then we’ll figure out what now.”
“Um. Yes. Of course.”
“I still like you.”
“I’m guessing I’m not going to hear you say that again.”
“You bet.”
“I like you still, too.”
“Yeah. Go change, will you?”
“Okay.” Jinki hurries off to change.
“By the way,” Key calls after him, “I’m not gay!”
(Jonghyun stumbles in at two in the morning, reeking of alcohol, and doesn’t bother changing or washing up before going to bed. It is no surprise when he fails to manage climbing up to his top bunk. Instead, he falls on top of Taemin and promptly passes out.
He wakes up to Key hitting him with a broom and screaming something about getting off Taemin but the pain is not what catches his attention. There is something oddly squishy beneath him.
Jonghyun gets to his feet and he finds that he isn’t the only one gaping at Taemin. Minho awkwardly excuses himself in the pretext of fetching some of Eunsook’s clothes.
Choi-sshi enters the bedroom, cheerfully announcing the miraculous effectiveness of the damage control propaganda he’s been working on. “People seem to think that it was a marketing ploy to promote ROMEO. It’s great, isn’t it, guys? ...Guys?”
He frowns at the lack of positive response from his charges. He looks around, sees Taemin, and faints. Jinki drags him out of the danger zone.
“What’s with the racket, guys?” Taemin asks, rubbing his eyes as he sits up. He groans. “Ugh, why is my chest so heavy?”
Jonghyun unwittingly sets off the bomb. “Taemin, you have boobs.”
“KIM JONGHYUN, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU.”)
- - -
I started writing this on Saturday, January 31, 2009 12:41:02 AM (11 months and three days!), which explains the inaccuracies you may find in this fic. It may already be outdated but I chose to continue with it anyway because I didn’t want to waste all these words and ideas that Nhi and I worked on. It got so long-38 pages in all-that I had to split it into two posts. ㅠ___ㅠ A rocky road, that was, and I never thought I’d get to the finish line but I did. I wouldn’t have made it without you, Nhi. Happy (belated) birthday and happy 2010. :)
PG-16 / 14,418 words / Kim Kibum (SHINee) x Lee Jinki (SHINee) ; 2Min
For my beta, my partner-in-crime, avirjin: If we were pollinating trees, this would be the fruit (never mind that watermelons don’t grow on trees).
Day Five
Key has never taken anyone out on a real date. Their reality show doesn’t count because that was done in a controlled environment where he didn’t really care whether the noona liked him or not except he had to pretend because the script said so and because that was (an unwritten) part of his job’s description.
He stands at the entrance of Lotte World, tickets in one hand and Eunsook’s hand in another, thinking this dating thing shouldn’t be so hard. After all, charming girls into buying their records is what he does for a living and Eunsook is a girl no different from their noona fans.
“I’m not so sure what you want to do here, Key,” Eunsook says.
“Well, you’re the boss so we’ll do whatever you like,” replies Key. He flashes that confident smile that makes fans swoon but falters when he sees that it doesn’t affect Eunsook at all.
“There are a few rides I want to go on but I don’t think you’ll like them,” she bites her lip. “And I don’t think that beanie and sunglasses are helping you blend in. Are you sure it’s okay for us to go out like this?”
“Why would it not be okay? Don’t worry, noona. I’ll take good care of you,” Key raises his sunglasses a little, winks and tries the smile again. His heart surprises him by making a somersault when he manages to get a giggle out of his date.
“Okay. I’m putting my life in your hands now,”
“Yeah. So which ride do you want to go on first?”
A playful smile dances on Eunsook’s lips. “Are you sure you want me to pick the ride?”
- - -
Years of experience has given Choi-sshi a road manager’s version of the sixth sense. It makes him seem paranoid but more often than not, his instincts are so reliable and accurate that he might as well quit his job and become a fortuneteller.
This is why he did not ignore the feeling of his guts twisting in unnatural ways. He quickly drives back to SHINee’s dorm as soon as he sees Minho and Taemin safe inside their respective school gates.
“Where are those two?” Choi-sshi asks Jonghyun who laid face flat on the couch.
“Out on a date, leaving me here ♪ AAALL BY MYSEEEEEEEEELF ♪,” Jonghyun answers miserably. He rolls and falls on the floor with an unceremonious thud. “And Key took all my money.”
“...On a date where?”
“I don’t know. I’d say theme park because that’s where all the lovey dovey people go but I’m not so sure they’ll enjoy any of the rides because Key is a wuss,”
Choi-sshi’s eyes narrow dangerously but Jonghyun does not notice. “...And you let them go out. In public,”
Jonghyun rolls his eyes as if Choi-sshi was stupid.
“Naturally!” he answers as-a-matter-of-factly. “My heart may be shattered into millions of pieces but Eunsook-noona looked so happy and pretty I wouldn’t have been able to say no even if you held a gun to my face.”
“What if I held a gun to your face now?” says Choi-sshi, agitated. He walks over where the younger man is still lying on his back and towers over him. “Will you help me find them?”
Finally sensing the mixed waves of panic and anger emanating from their manager, Jonghyun stutters, “W-wait, what’d I do?”
“Nothing short of giving the netizens a full-blown feast,” Choi-sshi mutters under his breath before dragging Jonghyun off the floor and out the dorm.
If his instincts are right (like they always are), they’re already too late so instead of prevention methods he thinks of damage control: locate, retrieve, and invent some bullshit to explain Jinki’s absence-and the appearance of Eunsook-to the higher ups.
- - -
“OH GOD I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE THERE!”
Eunsook laughs. Key thinks he would have enjoyed just watching her eyes become tiny slits whenever laughter bubbles out of her if only his heart isn’t still pounding like crazy and his blood isn’t still rushing to his ears like an angry river.
During the day they spent together in the theme park, several thoughts have entered his mind. First, he realized that Eunsook isn’t so bad. She’s just his old Jinki-hyung in a girl’s body, still clumsy, weird, funny and smart in the way only SHINee’s leader knows how to be. If he could learn to like Jinki (platonically, of course), how hard could it be to like Eunsook too? Second, now that Eunsook has the feminine ability to be sensitive, which he always wished Jonghyun possessed, Key thinks she could even qualify as his other best friend. Third, with a pervert living with them, Eunsook needs someone to protect her when Minho is not around. Key decides he will be that person.
He sets aside these thoughts as he struggles to keep himself from barfing after two rounds of rollercoaster rides. Eunsook asked him a million times if it was okay before they went on the ride again but Key just can’t say no to girls with or without a script because he likes making them feel special. Do unto others what you want them to do unto you. So he got on a second time and now he feels like the ground is spinning under his feet.
“I’m sorry, Key!” says Eunsook as she rubs circles on his back. “I really shouldn’t have asked you to go again.”
Key waves a hand in front of him. “No, it’s okay. I’m fine. You had fun, right?”
“Yeah, I did, but...,” Eunsook frowns.
“Hey, what’s with that face?” Key straightens up and puts an arm around Eunsook’s shoulders. “We came here to have fun and do the stuff that dating couples do. How about we get ice cream? Will that make you feel better?”
Eunsook’s ears go pink and she stares at Key.
“Dating couples?”
“What? There’s two of us, which makes a pair, and we’re on a date so we’re technically a ‘dating couple’. You should’ve thought of that before you kissed me last night,”
“I-I did that to s-shut you up!” the older girl stutters. She steps away from her dongsaeng. Key laughs.
“Maybe. But I think you liked it too,”
“I did not!” Eunsook protests but her pink face and shaky voice tells otherwise so the younger boy gives her a kiss in the middle of a busy area of the theme park. She pulls away as soon as she recovers from the shock-an intermission that lasted a millisecond too long because before she could give a proper reaction, a wide-eyed girl screams, catching a lot of attention.
“OMG! IT IS SHINEE’S KEY!”
Key and Eunsook freeze on their spot as the crowd gathers around them with their cellphones and cameras. This is the moment when Choi-sshi comes crashing against bodies, grabbing them both, and pulling them away from the circle of pedestrians hungry for a scandal. Security arrives a little too late because by then, Key and Eunsook are sitting quietly at the backseat of the car.
Jonghyun sits in the passenger seat. He doesn’t say anything for the rest of the journey back home but silence is not a problem because Choi-sshi serves them reproach on a silver platter.
- - -
Their manager is on the phone when Jonghyun tiptoes out of the living room but Choi-sshi turns around just in time to catch him and drag him back by the collar of his Donald Duck shirt (actually, it is Jinki’s but Jonghyun figures Eunsook doesn’t need it now anyway).
“You’re not leaving until you explain to me exactly what happened here,” says Choi-sshi in that strict manager tone he uses only when the boys are in big trouble. However, this time, Jonghyun thinks it is more of ‘gargantuan’ than ‘big’. “Speak up before I lose my patience.”
“Okay, okay...,” Jonghyun looks uneasily at Key and Eunsook who are sitting on the couch with him. “Key and I had a competition thing. We both cook breakfast for Eunsook-noona. She picks whatever tastes best and whoever wins gets to take her out on a date. Key won, I lost.”
Choi-sshi eyes the three teenagers suspiciously. He thinks he’s starting to act like a girl’s strict conservative father. It gives him goose bumps.
“I’m sorry, hyung,” Eunsook says. “I should’ve been more responsible. I shouldn’t have agreed to the bet. As the leader, it’s my duty to take care of my members and to prioritize their safety. This is my failure, not theirs. I deserve the punishment, hyung. Please let them off.”
Choi-sshi shakes his head. “I don’t know what the hell happened to you, Jinki, but I think whatever it is messed not only with your gender but also with your head. And the two of you-,” he turns to Key and Jonghyun, “-recklessness is one thing but stupidity is another. How could you even think of going out on a date with a girl?”
“Would it have been better if either of us went out on a date with Jinki-hyung instead of Eunsook-noona?” asks Jonghyun almost innocently, if not for a knowing glance at Key (which the latter does not catch).
Choi-sshi grabs a magazine from nearby and hits Jonghyun’s head with it. “That’s not funny. Don’t be obnoxious,”
“Hyung, please, it’s not their fault,” Eunsook pleads once more. “I sh-”
“Noona doesn’t have anything to do with this, hyung,” Key interrupts. “It’s all Jonghyun-hyung’s stupid idea and it was even more stupid of me to agree to it.”
“But, Key, I shouldn’t have let you both-,”
“No, noona, this isn’t about the breakfast bet. I think it’s very unfair for us-for me-not to tell you this. You deserve to know,” says Key. He has his eyes on the floor. “Jonghyun-hyung and I had a bet before that. Whoever gets you as his girlfriend wins. The loser treats you and the winner to a date at Lotte World.”
Eunsook looks at him and Jonghyun in horror. Choi-sshi’s facial expression matches hers.
“At first I said no because I hated you but he taunted me because he knows I can’t really say no to a challenge-,”
“Don’t listen to him, noona! He doesn’t hate you. In fact-,”
Eunsook stands up from the couch, her whole body shaking. Disgust replaces the horror on her face and tears begin to well up in her eyes. “You played with me,”
“Yes, I did,”
“No, we didn’t! He didn’t!” Jonghyun shoots up from his side of the couch but Eunsook ignores him. Key keeps his eyes on the floor.
“A-all this time... I-I-I thought... and y-y-you just...,”
“Noona, this is all a misunderstanding! Believe me!”
“Shut up, Jonghyun!” Eunsook screams. “I won’t believe any of your lies anymore. I hate you! I hate all of you!” She runs to the bedroom and slams the door behind her.
Choi-sshi runs a hand through his hair. Jonghyun crouches on the floor and covers his face with his hands. Both of them groan.
“The girls never gave me this kind of trouble,” Choi-sshi mutters to himself but it is loud enough for the boys to hear.
“Well, did anyone of them turn into the opposite sex?” says Jonghyun. Choi-sshi doesn’t answer so he turns to Key. “You’re an idiot, you know that?”
“If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have accepted your challenge no matter now much you taunted me,” says Key.
Choi-sshi lets out a heavy sigh. “There’s still damage control to do-the netizens are probably dining in scandal heaven right now. This drama thing with Jinki better be fixed before Minho and Taemin get back from school,”
“Are you kidding me?” says Jonghyun. “Key just ruined everything! There’s no way we can fix this that fast, if at all!”
Key rolls his eyes and finally lifts them from the floor to meet Jonghyun’s. “I’m sorry for having a conscience, then,”
Jonghyun flails in exasperation. “UGH! SERIOUSLY. You are such an IDIOT,”
“You can hit each other if you want but that’s not going to help you,” says Choi-sshi. “I’m going now. You turn off your phones, don’t go out and don’t answer the door unless it’s me. Got it?”
The boys nod.
“Please behave. Don’t make this harder for all of us,”
The boys nod again. Their manager doesn’t seem convinced but he leaves anyway.
Jonghyun looks at Key and tells him again, only quietly this time: “You are an idiot.”
That night, Choi-sshi returns only to deposit Minho and Taemin from school and immediately leaves again. A deafening silence-a suffocating tension-blankets the SHINee household but no one dares break it.
Articles of the incident at Lotte World show up on the World Wide Web.
- - -
Day Six
Taemin can’t fall asleep. He blames it on Eunsook’s (suppressed) sobbing and he wants to think that he’s angry but at the back of his head, he knows that he’s sad and worried. He slowly pulls his blanket off over his head and takes a peak at her direction.
It’s two o’clock in the morning when Minho slips in with Eunsook under her blankets and drapes an arm over her waist. She doesn’t stop sobbing but she cuddles closer to her dongsaeng. Taemin sees this as clearly as the light from outside their window allowed him to see.
He doesn’t say anything.
“I’m sorry, Minho,” he hears Eunsook’s muffled whisper.
Minho replies but Taemin can’t catch the words and the rest of the hushed conversation is drowned by Taemin’s pounding heart. The blood rushing to his ears makes him nauseous so he jumps off his bed, rushes to the bathroom, and starts retching. He looks up from the toilet bowl to find that Minho and Eunsook had followed him. He doesn’t notice the tears in his eyes.
“Taemin-ah...,” Eunsook crouches beside Taemin and brushes his hair off his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“Don’t touch me,” Taemin manages to choke out. “Leave me alone.”
Eunsook freezes.
“Noona, you can go back to bed,” says Minho. He takes Eunsook by the shoulders and steers her back to the bedroom. “I’ll take care of this.”
“B-but...,”
“It’s okay. Don’t worry,”
Reluctantly, Eunsook leaves and Minho makes sure that she is out of earshot before taking her place beside the magnae.
“I don’t understand what’s going on with you, Taemin, but I hope you know that I will always listen to what you have to say,” he says quietly. “I’m worried but I will wait until you’re ready to tell me what’s wrong.”
“Go back to Eunsook-noona,” whispers Taemin between sobs. “She needs you more than I do.”
“Their problem is something I can’t help them with,”
“And you think you can help me with mine?”
Minho pauses to consider. “Yes, I do, if you would tell me what your problem is,”
Tears flow like a river down Taemin’s reddened cheeks. He clutches the toilet bowl as if he’s hanging on for his life. “Hyung, I’ll always have you, right? Right?”
Minho gathers the magnae in his arms. “Always,”
- - -
Jonghyun likes to think that he’s an expert in handling PMS-ing girls. After all, he’s had to deal with an older sister all his life. However, Eunsook isn’t his sister and Eunsook isn’t an ordinary PMS-ing girl. Eunsook happens to be a female Lee Jinki and he has never dealt with a PMS-ing Lee Jinki before, much less a female PMS-ing one.
(Jinki doesn’t PMS. He sulks. There’s a difference, in Jonghyun’s masculine opinion.)
Suffice to say that Jonghyun is at a loss. He’s not exactly sure what to do when he finds Eunsook on the couch, stuffing spoonfuls of chocolate ice cream in her mouth, at six o’clock in the morning. She’s crying while watching My Sassy Girl.
“The girl didn’t come,” she whispers between sobs. Jonghyun only nods. He’s seen the movie so many times before because Key just couldn’t get over it. Every time, Key would cry on the exact same parts of the movie-the exact same parts that Eunsook is crying over now.
In a few minutes, Minho will wake up and proceed into shaking Taemin and Key awake to prepare for the busy day ahead. Jonghyun decides that it’s not appropriate to let the younger boys wake up to the sight of Eunsook dismally low in spirits so he takes the tub of ice cream from her hands and turns the DVD player off. Eunsook lets out a whimper of protest but does not move from her seat.
“Noona,” Jonghyun says as he puts the ice cream away in the freezer, “we really need to talk.”
“I’m not listening to liars,” says Eunsook. She curls up on the couch, tiny and fragile. Jonghyun almost forgets that this girl was once (still is) Jinki-hyung.
“Okay, so maybe I did lie,” says Jonghyun, taking the empty spot beside Eunsook. “But there were a few things that I didn’t lie about and I did what I did because I care for you a lot. You know how sometimes you have to say things you don’t mean for the good of someone you love? It’s like that.”
“What good did your lie do for me?” Eunsook cries. “Have you gone online lately? It’s all over the internet now, Jonghyun. The damage is irreparable!”
“I know I shouldn’t have let you go out in the first place and I’m really sorry for that. Key was stupid for kissing you in public but no one really recognized you as Lee Jinki, right? The Key-kissing-a-girl is the only issue we’ll have to take care of now. When you go back to normal, everything will be fine. Don’t worry about it,”
Eunsook abruptly stands up and gives Jonghyun a slap so hard it sounded like a bat hitting a baseball.
“What do you mean ‘when I go back to normal’?!” screams Eunsook, face wet with tears. “Jonghyun, were you thinking of me as an abnormality all this time? Jinki’s name might be safe from this scandal but what do you think he feels-what I feel? Are you not going to consider that too, just like when all of you share an inside joke I never get or eat all the ice cream before I even find out that there was any or complain about my failure to lead when I’m trying so very hard to please all of you or overtake me on the way to the shower without a ‘Thanks for letting me go first, hyung’ even when I clearly got there first and am absolutely dying but didn’t protest anyway because I know you’re tired too?! Tell, me, Jonghyun. What if I don’t go back to ‘normal’? What if Jinki never returns?” She hiccups and sloppily wipes her tears with her palms. “...You never cared about my feelings before. It was stupid of me to believe that you cared about my feelings now.”
“That’s not-,” Jonghyun begins to say but Eunsook is already in the bedroom, burying herself under layers of pillows and blankets.
Taemin emerges from the bedroom a little while later and tucks himself beside Jonghyun on the couch. “I never knew he felt that way,”
“I bet you Minho knew, since he knows everything and all that,” replies Jonghyun. “Speaking of Minho... where the hell is that kid? He should’ve been up before you.”
The magnae seems to contemplate on how to answer but he finally says, “He’s already awake.” He plays with his hands. Jonghyun notices the bottle of hand cream Taemin is holding and recognizes it as Key’s. He freezes.
“What are you going to do with that?” he asks, nervous.
“Nothing much,” the magnae answers before opening the bottle and spilling the contents all over the floor in front of him. Jonghyun jumps off his seat.
“TAEMIN, STOP IT!” he shouts and attempts to slap the bottle off the younger boy’s hand. Taemin has quicker reflexes, however, so he manages to get off the couch and run around, spilling Key’s hand cream all over the room.
When Key sees the mess in the living room, he explodes like a volcano and starts saying things like “you’re grounded!” even if technically he has no authority to ground Taemin. The magnae is almost pleased-Key’s outburst reminds him of the mother he misses-but he is short of satisfied. The real reason he did it (and everything else that warranted him a scolding from Key this week) did not even bother to come out of the bedroom until he is certain that Eunsook is already calm and safe to leave alone.
He decides he’ll have to try other tactics.
- - -
People’s things start to disappear. It begins with Key’s camera.
“Whoever is hiding my camera, IT’S NOT FUNNY!” Key screams. He has turned the whole place upside down and yet he found no sign of it.
As the rest of the household scrambles to search for the missing camera, Eunsook buries herself deeper in her fortress of pillows, blankets, and stuffed toys that seemed to pile up on her bed.
Key and Eunsook haven’t spoken to each other since the revelation last night (for the first time the Almighty doesn’t know what to say) so it makes little sense to comfort her right now. Instead, he counts one to ten and take deep breaths to calm down and refrain from shouting.
When Minho locates the camera, which was hidden in Choi-sshi’s underwear drawer, Jonghyun shrieks. His iPod is missing.
The cycle continues for the rest of the day-something goes missing, Minho finds it in places no one will ever even think of putting them in, and another thing goes missing again-until Minho successfully corners the magnae while in the act of hiding Jinki’s Eric Benet CD in the kitchen cupboard. “Why are you doing this?”
Taemin feigns innocence. He pushes the CD further into the cupboard, using bottles and cans to hide it from plain sight. “Doing what?”
“That,”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,”
Minho sighs, takes the CD from the cupboard and returns it on the rack. When he comes back to speak to Taemin, the younger boy is already gone.
- - -
His sister may be a pain in the ass sometimes but he loves her to bits. After meeting Key, Jonghyun discovered that there are worse bitches in the world and began loving her even more. Where Key is totally useless, his noona does a great job.
Jonghyun’s sister poked the mountain of comforters. “Eunsook-ah... Get up. Let’s have ice cream and watch a movie,”
Eunsook’s reply is muffled. “I already did that,”
“Well, then, we can watch another movie and eat cake instead,”
“I don’t want to,”
“It will make you feel better,”
“Nothing will ever make me feel better,”
“Aish! Don’t say that. Come on. The boys are worried about you,”
“No, they’re not. They don’t care about me,”
“That’s not true.” Jonghyun’s sister pulls back the sheets, revealing a much-disheveled Eunsook. “Get up there and stop sulking.”
Eunsook sits up and pouts. “Unni, look at me. I’m ugly!”
“That’s what crying your eyes out does. Come on; let’s get you properly groomed,”
“What’s the point? I’m a failure. I’m ugly. Everybody hates me,”
Jonghyun’s sister sighs and sits beside Eunsook. “You’re not a failure and you’re not ugly. So what if the rest of the world hates you? I like you and you mean the whole world to the boys. That should be enough,”
“They lied to me...,”
“I’m sure my brother had his reasons,”
“...What if I stay like this forever? What will happen to SHINee? How will I face my family and friends like this?”
“Well... I don’t really know about that but I’m sure things will get better. Besides, you’re too pretty. I bet SME won’t be able to let go of you so easily,”
Eunsook smiles weakly.
“I really like you for my brother but by the looks of it, he has other plans,” says Jonghyun’s sister. “I remember you saying in an interview that you’d pick Key if you were a girl. Is that still true now?”
“...,”
“Okay, wrong question. You up for a movie marathon?”
- - -
It is one hour to midnight. With Eunsook in a better mood, the SHINee household is noticeably more peaceful. Jonghyun and Key are able to fall asleep faster without the sobs of their leader to guilt trip them into insomnia. The magnae sees this as an opportunity to sneak out. To where, he hasn’t decided yet but he figures he’ll get there when he crosses the figurative bridge. The point is to sneak out for no apparent reason other than he’s not supposed to do it.
His hand is already on the doorknob when Minho’s deep voice jumps at him from the shadows. “Where are you going?”
“Wherever my feet take me,”
Minho doesn’t scold Taemin or grab his arm and drag him back to bed. “Okay. Come back before they wake up,”
That is not what you’re supposed to say, Taemin thinks as he bolts out and slams the door.
- - -
Day Seven
Jonghyun refuses to admit that, technically, this whole shenanigan wouldn’t have happened if he didn’t fan the fire. It is his belief that nobody can blame him. After all, watching it slowly burn its surroundings was too frustrating and putting it out was too depressing so what’s a well-meaning bystander to do other than encourage it?
The thing is that the fire starters completely ignored the fire they started even when the smoke was already suffocating them, and the flames were already eating them alive. Jonghyun had to do something, didn’t he?
That is how he explains everything to Minho. Minho may be younger but he’s the only one who makes sense in the SHINee household and definitely the only one who can be trusted on this.
“I don’t think that’s an appropriate metaphor to use,” Minho tells him.
“I don’t think this is the proper time to criticize my choice of metaphors,” he replies, annoyed.
“Hm. What do you want me to do, then?”
“I want you to help me fix my boo-boo,”
Minho sighs and Jonghyun knows that the younger boy is leaning heavily on not giving him a hand at this. He knows that the answer to his proposal goes something along the lines of ‘clean your own shit, asshole’ but Minho is just too polite to say it without prior censoring.
It is when Jonghyun started considering dropping to his knees to beg when a fuming Choi-sshi bursts into the dorm half-dragging a half-unconscious Taemin. Minho rushes to the magnae’s side and lifts him up in his arms but not before flinching in surprise, Jonghyun notes. This reaction is promptly explained by Choi-sshi nagging his head off.
“-can’t believe you, you’re sixteen! Why the hell would you let Kim Heechul-of all people, really-take you out to drink? Something should be done about that guy too, I mean, seriously-,”
Taemin sleepily giggles against Minho’s chest, totally ignoring their manager.
Well, I guess everyone has problems to deal with, Jonghyun thinks, and wonders if Heechul wouldn’t mind another underage freeloader tonight.
- - -
A Continuation to Jonghyun’s Guide to Overcoming Addiction Fixing Problems That Your Friend Doesn’t Have the Balls To Deal With Alone
The first step is always to admit there is a problem.
The thing about Key (which Jonghyun hates) is that he is horribly, terribly, annoyingly stubborn. He will deny his faults to the grave and will not admit to anything that he thinks will degrade his wonderful person even if held at gunpoint. This brings us to Jonghyun’s current problem: how to make perfect, faultless Key admit that he actually likes Jinki-dorkiness, failure and all.
Jonghyun corners Key on the way to the restroom during practice break and holds out a very unflattering Polaroid of Eunsook messily eating a pint of Baskin-Robbins Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough.
“My sister took this yesterday,” says Jonghyun. “Isn’t she so adorable~?”
Key stares at him blankly. “What are you doing?”
“Showing you what you are missing,” answers the older boy as he leans against the doorframe. “Look at that cute face. You can’t honestly tell me that you don’t like her without DHL-ing your head to hell.”
“So what if I do like her? I like Taemin. I like Nicole. I like Jinwoon. What’s the difference?”
“The difference is that you don’t like Eunsook-noona the way you like Taemin and Nicole and Jinwoon. I’m pretty sure your heart doesn’t go ‘dugeun dugeun dugeun’ around them just like how it does when she’s around~,”
Key gives Jonghyun his wtf-are-you-talking-about face. “What makes you think my heart does that around her?”
“What made you kiss her?”
Key looks away and shrugs to feign lack of care. It takes him a moment too late to think of a proper comeback for when he turns back to Jonghyun, the older boy is already sporting a triumphant grin.
“What’s with that face? It was a spontaneous thing, okay?” he spits with a matching scowl.
“Spontaneous thing, eh?” Jonghyun wiggles his eyebrows. “I don’t suppose you’ve experienced that kind of impulsive urge around Jinki-hyung, hm?”
It pleases Jonghyun that his strategy is actually working. He has never seen Key so embarrassed and pink since he ‘accidentally’ read the first few pages of his diary.
“WHA-WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I-I’m not gay!”
“Right, and I am Corbin Bleu’s twin brother. Keep telling yourself that. Maybe you’ll start believing it,”
Jonghyun is taken aback when Key pushes him angrily. “Yeah, so I like her. So my heart does stupid back flips around her. So I wasn’t able to stop myself from kissing her in a public place, leading to the greatest feast in SHINee Anti history. This is all your fault anyway! Why do I have to deal with this shit?!”
“Because there are things you can’t run away from,” says Jonghyun. “Tell me, Key, honestly: Why were you so angry with Eunsook-noona in the first place?”
Key bites his lower lip and for a moment there, Jonghyun thinks he will bolt away, but the younger boy sinks to the floor and refuses to meet his eyes.
“Well, first, because it wasn’t a funny joke, when we thought it was a joke,” says Key. “Then it was annoying because it should be him taking care of us, not the other way around. It’s always us looking out for him, always me worrying, when it’s his job as the leader, then he suddenly turns into a damsel in distress for what? So that we can worry more about him?”
“You gave in anyway,”
“Of course. She’s my friend and she’s a girl. I’d be a total asshole if I don’t do anything,”
“It’s not just because of our bet, right?”
Key keeps silent.
Jonghyun shrugs. “I guess that’s as good a confession as I’ll ever get out from you,”
The younger boy finally looks up at Jonghyun who extends a hand to him. “What now?”
“You get up from there and we do something about this,”
Key let’s Jonghyun pull him up. He dusts himself off and looks straight at the older boy. “By the way, I’m not gay,”
- - -
This is what greets Eunsook when she wakes up: Minho quietly undressing a passed-out Taemin and Choi-sshi going on and on with his speech on underage drinking. Careful deduction lands Eunsook to the supposition that their manager’s litany is meant for Taemin (surely, Minho is sensible enough not to get drunk and warrant a scolding if he ever decides to try alcohol) but it is obviously falling on deaf ears.
Eunsook abruptly sits up-winces at her bones cracking-and lets out a short panicked scream. “Taemin-ah! What happened?!”
“He got drunk,” says Choi-sshi gravely. “Eunsookie, you promise me you’ll never ever get drunk like this, okay? It’s bad for your health and it’s dangerous. And you’re in enough scandal as it is.”
Eunsook nods slowly as she watches Minho tuck in their magnae. Choi-sshi mutters something about having a talk with Kim Heechul and leaves shortly after giving his younger charges instructions on how to help Taemin sober up when he awakens.
Minho sits on the edge of Eunsook’s bed, his eyes on the floor, and quietly apologizes. “I let him go out last night,”
“It’s not your fault,” said Eunsook. “You didn’t know this would happen.”
When the younger boy does not answer, Eunsook shifts position so that she is sitting right beside him. She gives him a comforting pat on the back.
“I told him to come back before everybody wakes up,” Minho confesses. “I stayed up all night to wait.”
“So that he’ll know that someone will always be waiting for him to come back no matter how far he strays and how long he stays away?”
Minho looks up to meet Eunsook’s eyes. He tilts his head questioningly. Eunsook smiles.
“I always hope to have someone like that,” says Eunsook with a shrug. “You know, other than my parents. Isn’t it comforting to know that someone cares just because?”
Minho nods, smiling. “Thank you.”
“Taemin is lucky.”
“Key-hyung is, too,” says Minho, taking Eunsook by surprise. He holds her hand and gives it a pat. “We’ll wait together, noona.”
Eunsook laughs. “I guess it takes one to know one.”
- - -
A Continuation to Jonghyun’s Guide to Overcoming Addiction Fixing Problems That Your Friend Doesn’t Have the Balls To Deal With Alone
The second step is to be willing and open to change.
“We both know that when Eunsook-noona goes back to being Jinki-hyung, nothing is ever going to be the same,” Jonghyun says with the air of a general explaining the state of a battle. “It’s going to be extra awkward since you were stupid enough to admit to our bet but we can fix this... only if you want to.”
Key deadpans. “First of all, it wasn’t stupid of me to tell her about the bet. It was only fair that I did.”
“You’re missing my point. Do you want to do something about this or not?”
“Of course, I do!”
“Great. Now there’s something I have to confess,”
“That you’re gay and in love with me?” Key says in a gasp, with wide eyes of surprise. Jonghyun scowls.
“Ew, no, of course not. If there’s anyone I’d be gay for, it’s definitely not you. Anyway...,” he clears his throat, “I overheard you talking to Nicole on the phone some time ago. And before that-remember when you fought with him during practice?-I caught Jinki-hyung crying in the bathroom after he thought all of us already went to bed. So I saw this as an opportunity. If you get what I mean.”
“... I don’t get what you mean,”
Jonghyun flailed his arms, exasperated. “Come on, Key, you’re not stupid and neither am I. I knew, before all this, that you like Jinki-hyung the way those crazy fangirls think you do and that he likes you back. Neither of you will do anything about it because you’re both boys and you both won’t admit that you’re gay for each other-,”
“I’m not gay!”
“-and you think that your feelings are not returned and you’re worried of what Minho, Taemin, and I would think but we all think it’s fine perfectly fine-,”
“They know?!”
“-so we thought of what to do about it for a long time and then Jinki-hyung turned into a girl so I thought it was perfect! All I had to do was get you two together. There shouldn’t be a problem because you’re a boy and she’s a girl and there’s nothing gay about that, but you were being stubborn and you kept bullying her still so I challenged you and lost on purpose. So here we are now.”
Key glares and curls his fingers around the nearest object he could reach, which happens to be an empty can of Pepsi.
“I will count to five and you better be out of my sight by five or else I will drive this thing through your skull,” he says darkly.
Jonghyun is already out the door before Key could even start counting.
- - -
Maybe it isn’t exactly the best idea in the world but it triggered the desired effect and that’s the only thing that matters to Taemin now. He wakes up to a splitting headache and to Eunsook fussing over him as if he is dying in a hospital bed but he decides he doesn’t really mind since Minho’s attention is on him.
Except that Minho isn’t talking.
Minho has been spending ten minutes in cooling a cup of tea for him. When Eunsook leaves the room to make fruit juice, Taemin breaks the silence.
“Say something,”
“I don’t want to say anything without hearing your side first,” Minho replies calmly. “Sit up and drink this.”
For the first time that week, Taemin does what he is told. He takes the cup from Minho and finds that it is made to be exactly how he likes his tea.
“This isn’t just random bouts of teenage rebellion, is it, Taemin?” Minho asks after Taemin takes a sip. He maintains his calm demeanor and it almost makes the magnae ashamed of himself. Taemin hangs his head low.
“I’m sorry, hyung,”
Minho pats him on the head. “As long as you don’t do it again... Tell me what’s wrong,”
Taemin feels the heat rise to his cheeks and the tears well up in his eyes. He holds back a sob. “I-I was jealous... because everyone was paying attention to Eunsook-noona. Everybody likes her, even Taesung-hyung completely forgot about me when he saw her. A-And... And... And you like her a lot. You take care of her and protect her like how you used to do for me. You said I’ll always have you and I didn’t used to worry because I believe you and I never thought it didn’t mean I’ll never have to share you with anyone else.”
He pauses to sob and to chug down the rest of his cup’s contents. The tea is no longer very hot but it is sufficiently warm for him to sense it burn down his throat.
“I’m so sorry for being selfish, hyung. I promise to behave from now on,” he says finally before closing his eyes to await punishment. Instead, he hears Minho sigh and feels the older boy pat him again on the head.
“Taemin, you never had to share me with anyone,”
Minho says it quietly but Taemin’s heart heard it well.
- - -
The Conclusion to Jonghyun’s Guide to Overcoming Addiction Fixing Problems That Your Friend Doesn’t Have the Balls To Deal With Alone
The third is to actually do something about the problem.
Purple hyacinth means sorrow, “I’m sorry” or “Please forgive me”. Eunsook wonders if a bouquet of the same flower is any indication of the giver’s sincerity.
“I’m not so sure if you like purple...,” says Key, his face flushing and his eyes downcast. He holds out a bunch of purple hyacinths tied with a lacy pink ribbon.
“Well, I’m not so sure if I’d like to forgive you,” says Eunsook hesitantly.
The arm that is holding out the bouquet falls limp to Key’s side. He slowly raises his head to meet Eunsook’s eyes. “Of course. I’m not blaming you. I was hoping you would listen to what I have to say, though.”
Eunsook blows a strand of hair off her face and when it lands on the same spot, she reaches to tuck it behind her ear, frustrated. This isn’t exactly the best time to disturb her train of thought-there is someone with a hangover to take care of-but she decides it’s better to deal with the train wreck now than just stand there watching it happen in slow motion.
She crosses her arms on her chest. “Fine,” she says. “I’m not as heartless as you are so I’ll lend you an ear.”
Key draws a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I really am. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done that hurt you. I’m sorry for always bullying you. I’m sorry for laughing when you make mistakes. I’m sorry for not listening to you and ignoring your authority as our leader. I’m sorry for accepting Jonghyun’s challenge.”
No longer able to look at Key straight in the eye, Eunsook decides to busy herself with the task of looking for a vase to put the flowers in. She takes Key’s pausing as an opportunity to look away and rummage through the kitchen cupboards.
“You know why I hated you so much? It’s because I hate how you always make me worry about you. You get into accidents, you keep hurting yourself, and now you turned into a girl. Who knows what other dangers you’re going to put yourself in?” He takes a step closer to Eunsook but she doesn’t turn to him.
“Shouldn’t you be taking care of me, hyung?” (Eunsook flinches at the honorific used.) “Shouldn’t you be the one worrying, not me?”
Feelings are shaken, not stirred. Eunsook shakily grabs a random glass container and accidentally slams the cupboard door too hard. Its contents rattle inside.
“Remember when I said I like you a lot? I meant that,” Key confesses. He takes the container from Eunsook, fills it with tap water and arranges the bouquet in it. He offers it back to her. “I really meant that, hyung.”
Eunsook takes the flowers and sets it on the dining table beside the fruit juice she was making. She still refuses to look at Key. “I like you too.”
“That’s good to know.”
“I don’t know if I forgive you yet.”
“Okay, but there’s another thing you need to know.”
“... This isn’t a prank, is it?”
“No. Jonghyun-hyung set us up.”
Eunsook looks up and raises an eyebrow. “What?”
“That bet? He did that to set us up. He never meant to win.”
“B-but why?”
Key looks away but not before Eunsook notices his face turn pink. “Because he knows.”
“T-That is so not fair!”
“Well, since we’re like this now, we might as well satisfy him.” Key snakes his arms around Eunsook’s waist, pulls her against him and kisses her. She pushes away, scandalized, but he keeps his hold on her.
“What do you think you’re doing?!” she hisses. She pouts and adds, “...in the kitchen?”
“We’re just kissing-unless you have plans of going further, in which case we can take this to the bathroom.”
He kisses her again before she can say anything more and she kisses back. Three important things are now quickly forgotten: Taemin’s fruit juice, the fact that the younger boys are awake in the other room, and that they are in the kitchen, in plain view of anyone who happens to stumble in the living room. (It is in this situation that Eunsook thinks it’s a pity spacious apartments don’t come in prices that rookies can afford.)
Key slips a hand under her skirt and tugs Eunsook closer, but they violently crash into each other, causing them to lose their balance, stagger and finally fall on the floor. Key ungracefully lands on top.
“Ow!” Key winces as he scrambles to get back to his feet. He helps Eunsook up. “Aren’t your gigantic boobs supposed to cushion my-WHAT THE FUCK?! YOUR BOOBS ARE GONE, HYUNG. HOW’D YOU TURN BACK?”
“Wait-what?” Eunsook looks down to find her-his chest perfectly flat. He then realizes that his hair is no longer anywhere past his shoulders and that his manhood is back where it belongs. He feels like he’s back in School of Rock. “WHAT?!”
“OH MY GOD, HYUNG, JUST GO AND CHANGE OUT OF THOSE CLOTHES, SERIOUSLY, YOU’RE SCARRING MY INNOCENT MIND!!!”
“INNOCENT?! YOU’RE THE ONE WHO SLIPPED A HAND UNDER MY SKIRT.”
“WELL, IT’S JUST LIKE YOU TO TURN BACK IN THE MIDDLE OF A MAKE-OUT SESSION.”
Minho sticks his head out the bedroom doorway. “Hyung, you may deal with UST all you like but I’m hoping you’d tone it down a bit. We don’t really need to hear about it.”
When Minho disappears into the bedroom, both boys fall silent. Jinki speaks first. “So. What now?”
“You change out of that thing, and then we’ll figure out what now.”
“Um. Yes. Of course.”
“I still like you.”
“I’m guessing I’m not going to hear you say that again.”
“You bet.”
“I like you still, too.”
“Yeah. Go change, will you?”
“Okay.” Jinki hurries off to change.
“By the way,” Key calls after him, “I’m not gay!”
(Jonghyun stumbles in at two in the morning, reeking of alcohol, and doesn’t bother changing or washing up before going to bed. It is no surprise when he fails to manage climbing up to his top bunk. Instead, he falls on top of Taemin and promptly passes out.
He wakes up to Key hitting him with a broom and screaming something about getting off Taemin but the pain is not what catches his attention. There is something oddly squishy beneath him.
Jonghyun gets to his feet and he finds that he isn’t the only one gaping at Taemin. Minho awkwardly excuses himself in the pretext of fetching some of Eunsook’s clothes.
Choi-sshi enters the bedroom, cheerfully announcing the miraculous effectiveness of the damage control propaganda he’s been working on. “People seem to think that it was a marketing ploy to promote ROMEO. It’s great, isn’t it, guys? ...Guys?”
He frowns at the lack of positive response from his charges. He looks around, sees Taemin, and faints. Jinki drags him out of the danger zone.
“What’s with the racket, guys?” Taemin asks, rubbing his eyes as he sits up. He groans. “Ugh, why is my chest so heavy?”
Jonghyun unwittingly sets off the bomb. “Taemin, you have boobs.”
“KIM JONGHYUN, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU.”)
- - -
I started writing this on Saturday, January 31, 2009 12:41:02 AM (11 months and three days!), which explains the inaccuracies you may find in this fic. It may already be outdated but I chose to continue with it anyway because I didn’t want to waste all these words and ideas that Nhi and I worked on. It got so long-38 pages in all-that I had to split it into two posts. ㅠ___ㅠ A rocky road, that was, and I never thought I’d get to the finish line but I did. I wouldn’t have made it without you, Nhi. Happy (belated) birthday and happy 2010. :)