The golden thread - Jongyu [1/1]
the golden thread | Jongyu | nc-17 | 1000+
au, angst | unbeta-ed, character death, a little bit of incest (they are not related by blood)
note: I feel like I haven't posted in in ages and yes it has actually been some time. Now I'm kind of back. This popped into my mind and I had to write it. My first time writing Jongyu, I'm beginning to like that couple more and more. -.-"
The golden thread
The day Jonghyun appears in Jinki’s life is a rainy, cold one. Jinki is tired and exhausted after a long day of work and Jonghyun just stands there in front of his apartment, shoving a letter from Jinki’s dead step sister into his hands that says, that Jonghyun is her son and that Jinki has to take care of him from now on. Jonghyun’s hair is brown that time.
*
Jinki likes to believe that Jonghyun is not just a rebellious teenager, that he is not just skipping school and getting into fights and bringing random men and women home and taking drugs because he is bored, or frustrated, or driven by hormones. Jinki believes that there is something else, something deep and dark, a well kept secret that makes Jonghyun act like that, that it is not Jinki’s fault that the teenager is slowly destroying himself and his life. He believes and believes and believes until Jonghyun coughs blood and then he knows. Jonghyun’s hair is a mix of brown and blonde strands that time.
*
When Jonghyun starts to avoid Jinki it feels like drowning in darkness that sucks everything except maddening sadness out of Jinki’s heart. That is the time Jinki realizes that there was something besides his fatherly or brotherly love he feels for the boy, indeed he realizes that this is neither fatherly nor brotherly love he feels for him, not at all. Jinki starts avoiding Jonghyun too and slowly the apartment becomes a hell of suffocating silence. Only when Jinki notices that Jonghyun likes to sit on the roof, only when Jinki decides to join him one night only to see tears on the boy’s cheeks, glistening in the light of the moon Jinki dares to say something, to do something. He envelopes the boy in a tight embrace, muttering sweet nothings as the boy sobs into his shoulders. They sleep together in Jinki’s bed that night, cuddled together, pressing the other as close as possible. Jonghyuns hair is black that time.
*
One day Jonghyun has enough. He has enough of being treated like a princess, of being treated like the most fragile being on earth. He craves for Jinki’s touches and the careful hugs and soft kissed on the forehead are definitely not enough, not at all. And he hates it, he hates being sick and he hates Jinki for being so extremely scared of hurting him and all this hate makes him feel angry and the anger makes him burn with passion as he shoves Jinki against a wall, ravaging the elder’s mouth with his, biting, sucking and tasting Jinki’s lips, drowning in the heat burning through his veins and pooling in southern regions, in the butterflies partying in his stomach. And to Jonghyun’s relief Jinki does not push him away, but responds all too eagerly, hands roaming over the thin boy’s body. Jinki is careful and loving, but at the same time filled with lust and passion and for a moment they forget. They forget as Jinki thrusts in and out and as Jonghyun whimpers and groans and as their hands unite when both of them come hard and loud, gasping and panting. They are exhausted and slick with seat and Jinki feels a little bit guilty because Jonghyun is sore but they are happy. Jonghyun is happy and that is all Jinki needs. Jonghyun’s hair is long and slightly damp from sweat that time.
*
Jonghyun’s condition gets worse and the times he coughs blood more frequent and his skin paler and the bags under his eyes darker and his body thinner and every time Jinki notices the changes his heart cracks a little bit more. It shatters the day Jinki finds Jonghyun lying unconscious in the living room, a glass and some pills scattered all around him. Jonghyun’s hair is short and spiky that time.
*
Jonghyun apologizes a hundred times and Jinki says that it’s okay a hundred times, except it’s not. Jinki feels as if the world around him is slowly fading away because Jonghyun is his world and he is slowly fading away, as if he is just falling through the gaps between his fingers as he tries to catch the boy. Jonghyun starts talking less and he sleeps more and his eyes always look swollen. Jinki knows that he is probably crying when he is not looking, in the night when he sleeps on a chair next to Jonghyun’s bed for example. Jinki knows that Jonghyun doesn’t want to leave and he knows that he doesn’t want Jonghyun to leave but there is no hope, the doctors say so and Jinki knows that when a doctor says this that there really is none, because doctors always want to save their patients. Jinki holds Jonghyun’s hands through every day, they are cold and clammy but he doesn’t mind, he feels as if that is the only thing he can so. He wants to scream at the boy to stay, to not leave him, because he doesn’t know what to do without him, but he knows that it is pointless and that it will only hurt Jonghyun more. So they suffer through those days together and soon Jinki looks as if he himself is sick, but he doesn’t care, all that matters is to be with Jonghyun, to accompany him till the end.
Jonghyun’s hair is short and black that time.
*
When Jonghyun dies it is not like his corpse is suddenly enveloped in a bundle of light, or that he flies away or that his spirit gives Jinki one last kiss. He just closes his eyes, letting out one last shuddered breath and then there is this beeping sound, the sound Jinki only ever heard in TV dramas as Jinki chokes out a sob, before loosing his resolve completely sobbing into the cold blankets covering Jonghyun’s dead body, his body shaking and his head hurting. But nothing hurts as much as the emptiness filling his heart and his mind and everything else and the only thing he can see is Jonghyun. His smile, his laugh, his tears, everything every shared memory, the touches and whispers and so much more. And Jinki screams out in frustration. Jonghyun’s hair doesn’t matter that time, because Jinki can only see lights and faces and memories.
Fin.
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AN: I apologize for grammar/spelling mistakes english is not my natve language. Comments are loved. Yeah I know I'm a comment whore.