Nobody - Jongyu [1/1]

[mariposa02]

nobody | Jongyu | pg - 15 | 1200+
au, angst, psycho?, horror?  | unbeta-ed | character death

note: I do not know how I came up with something like this. I wrote it in a rush so I'm sorry if there are too many mistakes/typos gonna read through it tomorrow.

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Nobodly loves you like me [...]
and you could run and hide from me I would find you every where.

Jonghyun meets Jinki when he is sixteen. They are young and in their teens, full of hormones and open for everything. Jonghyun is singing in a park and Jinki approaches him and joins. Jonghyun is kind of surprised, but keeps singing anyway because the other boy’s voice is so beautifully soft and soothing and Jonghyun finds himself lost in the melody. When the song is finished Jinki grins down at the younger boy, his eyes forming into half moons and his smile the most beautiful thing Jonghyun has ever seen.

“I really like that song.”

They become friends like that and they meet every Monday at the same time in the same park and sing together. Jinki knows nothing about Jonghyun and Jonghyun knows nothing about Jinki. But that’s okay, because they always have something to chat about and even if they don’t, the silence is always comfortable. Jonghyun always looks forward to meeting the older boy, it has kind of become his reason to live on, to bear every night at home. Jonghyun is happy for the first time in a while, he smiles and laughs and his friends think everything is okay again until Jinki stops showing up.

Jonghyun is in a slump again. He stops eating and he stops singing and his grades get bad and that’s all the more reason for his father to hit him. But Jonghyun, as much as he is depressed never thinks of suicide, he never, ever does. He tells himself that he will find Jinki, that he will follow him till the end of the world, that he will search for him until he fades away. It takes him exactly three years and four months to meet Jinki again.

Jinki’s hair colour has changed and he looks more mature now, but his smile and his gentle voice are still the same. He is still clumsy and dorky and incredibly cute and Jonghyun smiles the first time in a long time when he sees him again. Jonghyun is in the library, studying and Jinki just walks in and sits down next to him and when he recognizes the younger boy a few seconds later he hugs him and laughs. He apologizes for not saying goodbye and says he had to move, he says that he is in university now and that he moved back to Seoul. They chat for some time and part with the promise to see each other again. Jonguyn’s heart feels alive for the first time since Jinki left.

Three days later and Jonghyun finds out Jinki has a girlfriend. She is petite and pretty and nice and soft, but Jonghyun can’t help but hate her. He feels as if she took Jinki away from him, though the older boy never really belonged to Jonghyun. Jonghyun’s heart shatters every time he sees the two together or every time Jinki talks about her. But he keeps forcing himself to stay together with Jinki, to stay by his side, because he still has hope.

One night they get drunk together and because Jinki’s apartment is too far away they go to Jonghyun’s. Jonghyun doesn’t know what makes him do it, or he knows but would never think that the alcohol could make him do something like this but he does it anyways, pressing Jinki against a wall and kissing the life out of him. His heart is on standstill until Jinki suddenly responds and then the butterflies start fluttering around. Jinki feels so good and his voice is so beautiful when he moans and grunts and groans and Jonghyun wishes that time would stand still for a moment. And it’s probably the best night Jonghyun’s ever had. No, it would have been the best night in Jonghyun’s life when Jinki wouldn’t have started to ignore him from the next day on.

After one week of Jonghyun calling and texting Jinki endlessly, the older male changes his number and after Jonghyun has been sitting in front of his apartment every day for months now, he moves away. Jonghyun is slowly dying from the inside and he can’t do anything, but try and get Jinki back, to fight for him, or that’s what he thinks. The sadness and the pain blind him and he probably can’t understand that Jinki is becoming scared of him, that he becoming scared of those letters and the calls and the fact that Jonghyun found him again. Jonghyun starts using his blood for the letters and thinks maybe Jinki will understand his pain if the red roses are decorated with disgusting worms. And finally he thinks that if Jinki doesn’t want to come to him, he should maybe go to Jinki.

Jonghyun picks the lock to Jinki’s apartment and he enters it, taking in a long breath. He smells Jinki everywhere and feels Jinki everywhere and he thinks that this place is heaven. He sings their song and smiles as he walks through the small apartment. He knows that Jinki will come home in an hour and that he still has some time to prepare things beautifully. Jonghyun enters the kitchen and finds a picture of Jinki and his girlfriend hanging on the refrigerator. He rips it off and throws into the trash bin, but stops in his tracks when he sees its contents. It is full with all of Jonghyun’s beautiful presents, the letters he put so much afford into and the roses. And that’s when it snaps.

Jinki comes home at 7 pm, whistling a familiar tune as he slips his shoes off and throws his jacket on the ground. He turns the lights on and freezes. Jonghyun is standing there, his eyes puffy and sad, but also so incredibly furious that it makes Jinki shudder in fright.

“Why are you doing this to me?” is what the younger male says and Jinki just gulps, he doesn’t feel the need to answer.

“Jinki, I love you, I need you, don’t leave me.” Jonghyun is sobbing now, his thin frame shaking as he slowly walks towards Jinki. Jinki can’t do anything but stand there; he can just watch and wait. He waits until Jonghyun’s arms wrap around his shoulders and embraces him tightly.

“Finally we can be together. Let’s go to a better world together okay?”

Jonghyun’s words are whispers between sobs, but Jinki hears it all and it is the last thing he hears, because suddenly there is pain and darkness and then everything disappears.

So lang hab ich gesucht

I searched for so long
So lang lief ich umher,

I walked around for so long
um den Mensch zu finden zu dem meine Seele gehört

To find the person, my soul belongs to
Endlich ist es so weit

Finally it’s the time
Endlich bist du bei mir

Finally you are with me
Du bist mein Schicksal und ich gehöre zu dir

You are my fate and I belong to you
Du hast mich aufgebaut

You build me up
Du hast mir Kraft gegeben

You gave me strength
Als ich kurz davor war, alles aufzugeben

Just before I wanted to give up everything
Du bist mein Licht,

you are my light
Mein Grund morgens aufzustehen

My reason to wake up in the morning
Du bist mein Lächeln, mein Glück, meine Farbe im Leben

You are my smile, my luck, my colour in life
Du bist mein Stolz, mein Mut und mein Sinn

You are my pride, my courage and my sense

(…)

Du bist mein Traum

You are my dream
Du bist mein Frieden

You are my peace
Und niemand wird dich jemals so wie ich lieben

And nobody will ever love you like I do.

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if you liked this fic check out my fic for the 12th shawol_haven challenge .here

I apologize for spelling/grammar mistakes, english is not my native language. comments are ♥.