One: System Check

[always_bad_news]

[An open journal picks up the sounds of someone waking leisurely; bed covers rustling, a faint, feminine yawn, and then a pause, followed by a thick southern drawl;]

I musta partied harder than I thought. Either that or a Gamecube dropped while I was sleepin'.

[Footsteps across the floor as Mouse approaches the journal, and then a few page flips.]

[Dictated;]

Strange.

Doubly strange ...

This thing on?

Good. Now, would someone mind tellin' me just what in the NET is goin on?!