Drunk, as usual.
[stiletto clicks in background, lazy dictation]
Ever notice that the rooms tend to fill from the bottom up? The lower the floor, the more likely you are to get a neighbour. Hell, I used to be on the second floor -- as soon as there was a vacancy, there'd be someone new there.
Ever think about how many people have used your room before you? It makes Paradisa seem like even more of a hotel. Who was in your room last? Did someone die in there? Did some couple fuck? How many times did someone bawl like a fucking baby in that room?
Some of you are probably living in the former place of some depraved lunatic. Here's looking at you, 203.
Or how about you, 914? I know at least a few have been rubbed out in your room, most of them pathetically, with no self-restraint.
Sixth floor -- you used to be a fucking disaster zone of evil. Now you're mediocre, like reheated rice. Tastes good, but the thrill is gone. (That doesn't even make any fucking sense.) Look at these names -- Zachary Zatanna? You ever get beat up in school for that one? Ash Ketchum? Ketchum? Seriously? Why Bourne? Lame.
And hey, look, up on seventh -- the Joker, across the hall from Wally West, who, by the way, is the first person you wanna call if you're looking for some action. Scher-- fuck, I can't even pronounce that. The fucking POPE -- no fucking idea WHICH Pope that is, but you've got the Pope and a bunch of Japanese kids and creeps with names like Guts or Exile or Seven. The Exile is my wife, by the way. Barney, what the fuck is with your floor?
Everyone here has a boring American name or a Japanese name. Everyone else is adjectives or code names. Shitty code names, Shinobu. Shitty code names.
Why is no one here named Steve? It's a good American name.
Ever notice that the rooms tend to fill from the bottom up? The lower the floor, the more likely you are to get a neighbour. Hell, I used to be on the second floor -- as soon as there was a vacancy, there'd be someone new there.
Ever think about how many people have used your room before you? It makes Paradisa seem like even more of a hotel. Who was in your room last? Did someone die in there? Did some couple fuck? How many times did someone bawl like a fucking baby in that room?
Some of you are probably living in the former place of some depraved lunatic. Here's looking at you, 203.
Or how about you, 914? I know at least a few have been rubbed out in your room, most of them pathetically, with no self-restraint.
Sixth floor -- you used to be a fucking disaster zone of evil. Now you're mediocre, like reheated rice. Tastes good, but the thrill is gone. (That doesn't even make any fucking sense.) Look at these names -- Zachary Zatanna? You ever get beat up in school for that one? Ash Ketchum? Ketchum? Seriously? Why Bourne? Lame.
And hey, look, up on seventh -- the Joker, across the hall from Wally West, who, by the way, is the first person you wanna call if you're looking for some action. Scher-- fuck, I can't even pronounce that. The fucking POPE -- no fucking idea WHICH Pope that is, but you've got the Pope and a bunch of Japanese kids and creeps with names like Guts or Exile or Seven. The Exile is my wife, by the way. Barney, what the fuck is with your floor?
Everyone here has a boring American name or a Japanese name. Everyone else is adjectives or code names. Shitty code names, Shinobu. Shitty code names.
Why is no one here named Steve? It's a good American name.