Valentine's Day PSA
Morning, noobs. Unless you've been living under a rock, lost all sense of time, or just got here from some weird universe without holidays? You should know what's coming. And you should've been preparing yourselves already. But in case you haven't? We're taking pity on you.
Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and to anyone that got a sneak preview a few months back, you know how bad it can be.
And don't go 'it's just a fun little holiday'. Remember, you're in the magic castle from hell, and the castle likes to screw with people. And arm them with bows and arrows, whoch brings us to tip 1: cover is your friend.
You see anyone acting suspicious, armed with said weaponry, your best bet is to shield yourself. Doors, tables, other people; just be sure there is something solid between you and the would-be holiday attacker.
While normally I'd say you could also use anybody you don't really like as a shield, it's a big don't in this case. Using somebody else as a meatshield is a good way to get them hit, and gives you a brand new magically-caused stalker. Have fun with that. People you like a little different, but still. Doors and tables trump other people, unless it's an emergency.
And that brings us to tip 2: avoid at all costs those who you dislike the most. Nothing is worse than finding yourself drawn to the one person you'd least like to be stuck alone with. Don't argue, don't make eye contact, avoid at all costs. [oh god so deadpan. personal experience? maybe!]
Even if the idea of making fun of them for having nobody on Valentine's Day is really tempting, save it until after the bows and arrows are gone. Otherwise you're just asking for it. And giving your enemies fodder against you? Not that bright.
Call a momentary case-fire, if you must. It's not worth it. There will be other, arrowless days to be at each other's throats without the fear of necking.
Tip 3: Avoid holiday food. If you really want hearts that may or may not be made of chalk or red and pink cookies, wait until the 15th. You can ask the Castle for them and get normal food. Just think back to all the times the Castle put out food that screwed around with people.
Consider 'pink' and 'red' to be warning colors.
And one final tip: if you see a bow and arrow laying around? Don't touch it. Don't touch it, don't point it out to people, and definitely don't aim it at anybody. I'd say this is common sense, but given some of the people I've met around here? I'm not getting my hopes up.
Treat them like landmines; you touch it, bad things happen.
So there's our tips. Follow them, and you'll probably get through Valentine's Day without giving everybody else blackmail material for the rest of the years. So have a happy Valentine's Day, or spend it brooding about how you're alone and unloved. I don't really give a crap.
Don't come crying to us if you miss a step and end up married to someone you've never met before. Can't say you haven't been warned.
[Black text is Tex, blue is Kat.]
Valentine's Day is just around the corner, and to anyone that got a sneak preview a few months back, you know how bad it can be.
And don't go 'it's just a fun little holiday'. Remember, you're in the magic castle from hell, and the castle likes to screw with people. And arm them with bows and arrows, whoch brings us to tip 1: cover is your friend.
You see anyone acting suspicious, armed with said weaponry, your best bet is to shield yourself. Doors, tables, other people; just be sure there is something solid between you and the would-be holiday attacker.
While normally I'd say you could also use anybody you don't really like as a shield, it's a big don't in this case. Using somebody else as a meatshield is a good way to get them hit, and gives you a brand new magically-caused stalker. Have fun with that. People you like a little different, but still. Doors and tables trump other people, unless it's an emergency.
And that brings us to tip 2: avoid at all costs those who you dislike the most. Nothing is worse than finding yourself drawn to the one person you'd least like to be stuck alone with. Don't argue, don't make eye contact, avoid at all costs. [oh god so deadpan. personal experience? maybe!]
Even if the idea of making fun of them for having nobody on Valentine's Day is really tempting, save it until after the bows and arrows are gone. Otherwise you're just asking for it. And giving your enemies fodder against you? Not that bright.
Call a momentary case-fire, if you must. It's not worth it. There will be other, arrowless days to be at each other's throats without the fear of necking.
Tip 3: Avoid holiday food. If you really want hearts that may or may not be made of chalk or red and pink cookies, wait until the 15th. You can ask the Castle for them and get normal food. Just think back to all the times the Castle put out food that screwed around with people.
Consider 'pink' and 'red' to be warning colors.
And one final tip: if you see a bow and arrow laying around? Don't touch it. Don't touch it, don't point it out to people, and definitely don't aim it at anybody. I'd say this is common sense, but given some of the people I've met around here? I'm not getting my hopes up.
Treat them like landmines; you touch it, bad things happen.
So there's our tips. Follow them, and you'll probably get through Valentine's Day without giving everybody else blackmail material for the rest of the years. So have a happy Valentine's Day, or spend it brooding about how you're alone and unloved. I don't really give a crap.
Don't come crying to us if you miss a step and end up married to someone you've never met before. Can't say you haven't been warned.
[Black text is Tex, blue is Kat.]