tenth squirrel//dream
[ It all begins pitch black. So dark that you can't even see your own hand in front of your face. Silent, too. In fact, it's...too silent.
Suddenly your ears pick up a faint sound. Circus music is playing, though it sounds as if it's being played on an old record player. A bit scratchy and slow. The music grows louder.
Then a bright spotlight suddenly comes on, and underneath it a man sits on a throne made out of gold. It's high in the air. The man wears a blue jumpsuit with a belt that holds Clorox spray and sponges, and tied around his neck is an elegant red fur cape trimmed in jewels. On his head is an elaborate gold crown and in his right hand he holds a scepter.
Yes, it's Janitor.
He bangs the scepter twice on the pedestal that his throne sits on, and suddenly other lights come on as well. All around the room there are squirrels perched on ledges near the ceiling wearing fancy suits and dresses, top hats and diamond necklaces, and in their tiny paws they hold...trapezes.
The music plays faster and with another bang from the scepter the squirrels take off into the air, doing elaborate stunts. This has all been well-rehearsed. They never make a single mistake.
Out from the shadows come mimes. They act out Janitor's many daring adventures and good deeds. Along with the mimes come exotic Dominican dancers and several little people riding ponies.
Then, from a trapdoor in the ceiling, a blond haired lady is lowered down in a matching throne to sit next to him. Her face is concealed by shadows, but it's obvious that she is his queen. A giant bald eagle also arrives with the lady and perches loyally on his shoulder, looking fierce and proud.
A door opens, and an army of squirrels marches in. Behind them an albino moose brings up the rear. They all wear the attire of medieval knights and have their own rankings. But that's not what is important.
On top of the moose, bound and gagged, is HIM. THAT GUY. SCOOTER PIE. HE WHO PUT THE PENNY IN THE DOOR. And he looks terrified.
Janitor waves his hand and the man is dropped at the foot of the throne. A squirrel officer quickly pulls the gag out of his mouth. Scooter Pie cowers.
The music suddenly stops. The squirrels cease their routine. In a manly, royal voice Janitor finally speaks.
"What do you have to say for yourself, now that I have finally won?"
His voice echoes loudly through the room.
Scooter Pie shrinks away from the great voice. "You were right! You were always right! I am a horrible person who does not deserve your mercy! You are smart and handsome and righteous while I am stupid and ugly and wrong--!"
"ENOUGH!" Janitor bellows. "I can see that you are remorseful. However, that does not excuse what you have done. Sir Mooseofilus, you know where to take him. Tell the dungeon master to use extra feathers." He paused, thoughtful. "And deprive him of hair gel for three days."
"NOOOO!" the man screamed, but it was too late. The moose and squirrel army retreated. The door slammed behind them loudly.
All was quiet for a second. Then...
"Continue."
Janitor banged his scepter once more and the festivities continued. ]
[ooc; Cut for tl;dr. Um...I have no idea. =D]
Suddenly your ears pick up a faint sound. Circus music is playing, though it sounds as if it's being played on an old record player. A bit scratchy and slow. The music grows louder.
Then a bright spotlight suddenly comes on, and underneath it a man sits on a throne made out of gold. It's high in the air. The man wears a blue jumpsuit with a belt that holds Clorox spray and sponges, and tied around his neck is an elegant red fur cape trimmed in jewels. On his head is an elaborate gold crown and in his right hand he holds a scepter.
Yes, it's Janitor.
He bangs the scepter twice on the pedestal that his throne sits on, and suddenly other lights come on as well. All around the room there are squirrels perched on ledges near the ceiling wearing fancy suits and dresses, top hats and diamond necklaces, and in their tiny paws they hold...trapezes.
The music plays faster and with another bang from the scepter the squirrels take off into the air, doing elaborate stunts. This has all been well-rehearsed. They never make a single mistake.
Out from the shadows come mimes. They act out Janitor's many daring adventures and good deeds. Along with the mimes come exotic Dominican dancers and several little people riding ponies.
Then, from a trapdoor in the ceiling, a blond haired lady is lowered down in a matching throne to sit next to him. Her face is concealed by shadows, but it's obvious that she is his queen. A giant bald eagle also arrives with the lady and perches loyally on his shoulder, looking fierce and proud.
A door opens, and an army of squirrels marches in. Behind them an albino moose brings up the rear. They all wear the attire of medieval knights and have their own rankings. But that's not what is important.
On top of the moose, bound and gagged, is HIM. THAT GUY. SCOOTER PIE. HE WHO PUT THE PENNY IN THE DOOR. And he looks terrified.
Janitor waves his hand and the man is dropped at the foot of the throne. A squirrel officer quickly pulls the gag out of his mouth. Scooter Pie cowers.
The music suddenly stops. The squirrels cease their routine. In a manly, royal voice Janitor finally speaks.
"What do you have to say for yourself, now that I have finally won?"
His voice echoes loudly through the room.
Scooter Pie shrinks away from the great voice. "You were right! You were always right! I am a horrible person who does not deserve your mercy! You are smart and handsome and righteous while I am stupid and ugly and wrong--!"
"ENOUGH!" Janitor bellows. "I can see that you are remorseful. However, that does not excuse what you have done. Sir Mooseofilus, you know where to take him. Tell the dungeon master to use extra feathers." He paused, thoughtful. "And deprive him of hair gel for three days."
"NOOOO!" the man screamed, but it was too late. The moose and squirrel army retreated. The door slammed behind them loudly.
All was quiet for a second. Then...
"Continue."
Janitor banged his scepter once more and the festivities continued. ]
[ooc; Cut for tl;dr. Um...I have no idea. =D]