Sam/Alan/Jake short
Right. So I found this on my email and decided to finish it up, since I was bored. Oh, my boys.
“You know, I was never as good at this as Jake was,” Alan said with a sigh, finishing off his beer and setting it on the table amongst the growing collection. Sam snorted beer out his nose in a very undignified manner and Alan laughed. “Don’t hurt yourself there, Sam, I…SAM! That’s not what I meant!”
”I know, I know, but it just came out wrong. And it was funny.”
He examined Sam closely. “Are you drunk?”
Sam counted the bottles on the table. “Nope. Not yet.”
“Okay. Let me know when you are and we’ll play again and maybe, for the love of all that is holy, I’ll win one.”
“It’ll be a cold day in July, Alan.”
“You’re a bitch.”
“And a lover and a mother and a sinner and a…I don’t know what else. I forget the words.”
“Ha! I win!”
“That wasn’t a game, Alan. That was just a trading of insults.”
He pouted and got another beer for himself.
“Don’t I get one?”
“Nope. You’re a bitch.”
“Fine. Fine. Come to my apartment, eat the pizza I buy, drink my beer, sit on my couch, and then don’t bother to get me a beer when you get one for yourself. It’s okay, Alan. Really.”
Alan smirked. “Really, it is. I know.”
On Sam’s way to the fridge, there was a knock on the door and he opened it to find a slightly sheepish looking Jake on the other side, a box under his arm. He took off his sunglasses and grinned at Sam and Sam melted like a candy bar left out in the Georgia summer sun. It may have the beer or the extended absence, it was hard to tell, but standing at his door in faded jeans, black leather jacket, and sunglasses with that roguish grin, he was like every wet dream Sam had ever had.
It was the beer. It had to be. Alan’s snicker told a different story entirely, but really, it was the beer.
Really.
“So.” Jake shuffled a little, looking at his feet, then smiled up at Sam, a mixture of humble and hopeful. “I don’t suppose you really missed having a roommate, did you?”
Yeah, it was the beer, because Sam was embarrassingly slow on the uptake. “What?”
“You know, a roommate. Stays in the apartment, shares the bills,” he nodded at his box, “moves his stuff in, cooks like a motherfucker, and keeps you company on those long, cold, lonely nights?”
Alan looked over at him from the couch. “What happened?”
“Hey, Alan.” He edged inside when Sam opened the door wider and set his box down on the floor, shrugging off his jacket and throwing it on top. “I need a new place.”
“You and K didn’t…did you?”
Jake nodded. “Yup.”
“Really? Because me and Cam…”
“You didn’t…did you?”
“Yup.”
“Wow.”
“So what happened?”
Jake took the beer Sam handed him and perched on the coffee table, Sam waiting with interest. “Let me give you a word of advice: never try and sit through one of K’s apologies. It’s like War and Peace, the extended version…in Greek.”
Alan looked at Jake skeptically. “He apologized for something?”
Jake downed half his beer before replying. “Yeah. Weird, huh? I figured K was like me, you know? The type to just say, ‘Hey, it’s been fun. Now get out.’ But he didn’t. He went on and on about what happened and why it didn’t work and he was sorry and he really liked me, but it just wasn’t happening and he was sorry and it wasn’t working.”
“So what happened?”
Jake shrugged. “Nothing. I guess maybe that was the problem. K wasn’t too bad a boyfriend, but he was a shitty roommate. And he’d probably say the same thing about me.” He finished his beer, went to the fridge and got another round, and settled in the armchair. “What about you and Cam?”
“Well, Cam was a really great guy but there just wasn’t a spark, you know? He was like a friend, or a puppy, really. He was cute and fun to cuddle with, but you don’t fall in love with your dog. Well, if you’re well adjusted, anyway…wow. That was a bad comparison.”
Sam grinned. “You drunk?”
Alan thought about it, then nodded. “Yeah.” He grinned. “Yeah, I am.”
“So what happened with you and Cam?” Jake asked, peeling the label on his beer.
“Sexual frustration.”
“Yeah, I know.” Jake laughed. “I said roommates, remember?”
Alan laughed. “No, not you. Me. Although peeling labels is a sign. But that’s what happened. I started seeing guys on the street and thinking, ‘Man, I’d like to take him home,’ and I don’t think like that. It made me reevaluate things. And it wasn’t just that Cam and I weren’t having sex-“
“Right. You’re a bigger man than that.”
Alan flipped Sam off. “I’m plenty big, thank you very much. But it wasn’t just the sex, it’s that Cam and I were friends and I’m getting a little too old to be having just friends.”
Sam groaned. “Please. Let’s not talk about age.”
“What are you whining about? I’m the oldest one here.”
Jake smirked. “Guess that makes me the youngest, hottest one.”
Now it was Jake’s turn to get flipped off. “Youngest, sure. Hottest? I don’t think so.”
Sam sighed, and Alan caught the wistful undertone. “Admit it, Alan. He’s the hottest.”
He rolled his eyes. “Oh, Christ. Just because you want to fuck him six ways to Sunday-“
“I do not!”
Jake laughed. “Yeah, you do. And it’s okay, Sammy. Most people do.”
“You cocky fuck.” Sam sent a pillow whizzing at his head, which Jake neatly ducked.
“I never said I wasn’t.”
“Hey, wait a second.” Alan looked a little peaky. “You don’t think…no. No, it couldn’t be.”
“What?” Sam asked.
“Well, K and Cam, right about the same time. You don’t think they…?”
Jake paled. “Oh, no. No. Fuck no.”
Sam shifted uncomfortably and Alan rounded on him. “What? Do you know something?”
“No,” he protested quickly. “I don’t. But, well…it kinda makes sense, you know? Both of them at once and all.”
“No. Wouldn’t happen,” Jake said firmly. “Wouldn’t. Happen.”
“And why not?”
“Because if K ever left me for Cam I’d have to shoot myself. No offense, Alan,” he added quickly, “but come on. Who would trade me in for Cam? Besides, K would chew Cam up for a snack before breakfast.”
Alan nodded. “Yeah, that’s true. They probably didn’t…right?”
Jake nodded. “Right. No way.”
Alan nodded back at him. “Right. They didn’t.”
“Right.”
“Right.”
“Right?”
Jake sighed. “All of a sudden, I’m not sure.”
It was a long moment before the realized the soft noise they were hearing were Sam’s muffled snickers. Alan rounded on him again. “What? You know something, don’t you? Asshole! What do you know?”
Sam laughed merrily, his eyes tearing up. “What a couple of pussies you two are. Of course nothing’s going on, you idiots. Cam and K? Give me a break. You’re just so gullible.”
Jake sent his pillow whizzing back at Sam and sighed, relieved. “Right. See, Alan, it’s just like I told you. Trade me in for Cam? Never.”
“Right. Because if he traded me in for K, I’d think he really needed his head examined.”
There was a long pause, during which they finished their beers and Jake got up for another round before he spoke. “So. Single again. You know,” he said thoughtfully, “I thought I’d be thrilled, but I’m not. I just feel a little…lost.”
“Tell me about it. I’m not getting any younger. Or any more attractive.” Alan pouted and Sam laughed. “Shut it, Sam. But yeah, single again. I was kinda starting to enjoy being one of the taken ones, you know?”
Jake shrugged. “Well, at least we have each other.”
Alan nodded, then looked between Sam and Jake, wondering how long it’d take this time. “Just, when you two fall hopelessly in love, don’t leave me completely out in the cold, okay?”
Jake shot a glance at Sam that spoke volumes, though Sam never was that good at reading Jake and missed it. Alan caught it, though, and despite what Jake said, he knew it’d happen more quickly than he’d first thought. “Hopelessly in love? Can’t. There’s a Jamaican peninsula in the way.”
Sam smirked a little. “Just because he’s gorgeous, smart, funny, and sweet is no reason to be jealous, Jake.”
“Nah, but he has a stupid name and that’s enough of a reason to laugh.”
Sam flipped him off and Jake grinned. “I know you want to, Sammy. But try and keep your libido in check, will you?”
Sam rolled his eyes. “Getting back to the issue at hand, yes, Jake, despite that fact that you’re a bastard, you can have your room back.”
“Thanks, Sa-“
“As soon as Montego and I take down the love swing and hide the bondage table.”
Jake paled and Alan laughed so hard he nearly snorted beer out of his nose. “No, Sam, tell me you’re not…”
“Gullible,” Sam said, shaking his head carefully so as to ensure the room wouldn’t spin anymore. “Oh, my beautiful, gullible Jake.”
“Fuck you.”
“Yeah, Jake, I know you’d like to, but try and keep your libido in check, all right?”
Jake laughed. “Fine. I don’t have much more left over there, so I can get it all moved by tomorrow. That cool? And I’ll give you this month’s rent.”
Sam waved it off drunkenly. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Ooh. He’s drunk.”
Jake nodded. “Indeed he is.” He relaxed back into the chair, grinning big. “This is just like old times, before we got old and responsible and involved and shit.”
Alan shared his nostalgia. “Ah, the good old days. When I was young and cute.”
“Aww, baby. You’re still cute.”
Alan laughed. “Yep, Sam. You really are drunk.”
They lapsed into a comfortable silence, Sam leaning into Alan’s arms like he always did when he’d had a few, finding physical contact in the nearest person. Jake didn’t mind; it gave him the a good chance to look at Sam, to see what he’d missed over the last few months, to look for those small, subtle changes only someone in love would ever notice. It was a few moments before he realized what Alan was doing; when he did, he joined in, singing softly, just to see Sam smile.
”Aruba, Jamaica…”
“You know, I was never as good at this as Jake was,” Alan said with a sigh, finishing off his beer and setting it on the table amongst the growing collection. Sam snorted beer out his nose in a very undignified manner and Alan laughed. “Don’t hurt yourself there, Sam, I…SAM! That’s not what I meant!”
”I know, I know, but it just came out wrong. And it was funny.”
He examined Sam closely. “Are you drunk?”
Sam counted the bottles on the table. “Nope. Not yet.”
“Okay. Let me know when you are and we’ll play again and maybe, for the love of all that is holy, I’ll win one.”
“It’ll be a cold day in July, Alan.”
“You’re a bitch.”
“And a lover and a mother and a sinner and a…I don’t know what else. I forget the words.”
“Ha! I win!”
“That wasn’t a game, Alan. That was just a trading of insults.”
He pouted and got another beer for himself.
“Don’t I get one?”
“Nope. You’re a bitch.”
“Fine. Fine. Come to my apartment, eat the pizza I buy, drink my beer, sit on my couch, and then don’t bother to get me a beer when you get one for yourself. It’s okay, Alan. Really.”
Alan smirked. “Really, it is. I know.”
On Sam’s way to the fridge, there was a knock on the door and he opened it to find a slightly sheepish looking Jake on the other side, a box under his arm. He took off his sunglasses and grinned at Sam and Sam melted like a candy bar left out in the Georgia summer sun. It may have the beer or the extended absence, it was hard to tell, but standing at his door in faded jeans, black leather jacket, and sunglasses with that roguish grin, he was like every wet dream Sam had ever had.
It was the beer. It had to be. Alan’s snicker told a different story entirely, but really, it was the beer.
Really.
“So.” Jake shuffled a little, looking at his feet, then smiled up at Sam, a mixture of humble and hopeful. “I don’t suppose you really missed having a roommate, did you?”
Yeah, it was the beer, because Sam was embarrassingly slow on the uptake. “What?”
“You know, a roommate. Stays in the apartment, shares the bills,” he nodded at his box, “moves his stuff in, cooks like a motherfucker, and keeps you company on those long, cold, lonely nights?”
Alan looked over at him from the couch. “What happened?”
“Hey, Alan.” He edged inside when Sam opened the door wider and set his box down on the floor, shrugging off his jacket and throwing it on top. “I need a new place.”
“You and K didn’t…did you?”
Jake nodded. “Yup.”
“Really? Because me and Cam…”
“You didn’t…did you?”
“Yup.”
“Wow.”
“So what happened?”
Jake took the beer Sam handed him and perched on the coffee table, Sam waiting with interest. “Let me give you a word of advice: never try and sit through one of K’s apologies. It’s like War and Peace, the extended version…in Greek.”
Alan looked at Jake skeptically. “He apologized for something?”
Jake downed half his beer before replying. “Yeah. Weird, huh? I figured K was like me, you know? The type to just say, ‘Hey, it’s been fun. Now get out.’ But he didn’t. He went on and on about what happened and why it didn’t work and he was sorry and he really liked me, but it just wasn’t happening and he was sorry and it wasn’t working.”
“So what happened?”
Jake shrugged. “Nothing. I guess maybe that was the problem. K wasn’t too bad a boyfriend, but he was a shitty roommate. And he’d probably say the same thing about me.” He finished his beer, went to the fridge and got another round, and settled in the armchair. “What about you and Cam?”
“Well, Cam was a really great guy but there just wasn’t a spark, you know? He was like a friend, or a puppy, really. He was cute and fun to cuddle with, but you don’t fall in love with your dog. Well, if you’re well adjusted, anyway…wow. That was a bad comparison.”
Sam grinned. “You drunk?”
Alan thought about it, then nodded. “Yeah.” He grinned. “Yeah, I am.”
“So what happened with you and Cam?” Jake asked, peeling the label on his beer.
“Sexual frustration.”
“Yeah, I know.” Jake laughed. “I said roommates, remember?”
Alan laughed. “No, not you. Me. Although peeling labels is a sign. But that’s what happened. I started seeing guys on the street and thinking, ‘Man, I’d like to take him home,’ and I don’t think like that. It made me reevaluate things. And it wasn’t just that Cam and I weren’t having sex-“
“Right. You’re a bigger man than that.”
Alan flipped Sam off. “I’m plenty big, thank you very much. But it wasn’t just the sex, it’s that Cam and I were friends and I’m getting a little too old to be having just friends.”
Sam groaned. “Please. Let’s not talk about age.”
“What are you whining about? I’m the oldest one here.”
Jake smirked. “Guess that makes me the youngest, hottest one.”
Now it was Jake’s turn to get flipped off. “Youngest, sure. Hottest? I don’t think so.”
Sam sighed, and Alan caught the wistful undertone. “Admit it, Alan. He’s the hottest.”
He rolled his eyes. “Oh, Christ. Just because you want to fuck him six ways to Sunday-“
“I do not!”
Jake laughed. “Yeah, you do. And it’s okay, Sammy. Most people do.”
“You cocky fuck.” Sam sent a pillow whizzing at his head, which Jake neatly ducked.
“I never said I wasn’t.”
“Hey, wait a second.” Alan looked a little peaky. “You don’t think…no. No, it couldn’t be.”
“What?” Sam asked.
“Well, K and Cam, right about the same time. You don’t think they…?”
Jake paled. “Oh, no. No. Fuck no.”
Sam shifted uncomfortably and Alan rounded on him. “What? Do you know something?”
“No,” he protested quickly. “I don’t. But, well…it kinda makes sense, you know? Both of them at once and all.”
“No. Wouldn’t happen,” Jake said firmly. “Wouldn’t. Happen.”
“And why not?”
“Because if K ever left me for Cam I’d have to shoot myself. No offense, Alan,” he added quickly, “but come on. Who would trade me in for Cam? Besides, K would chew Cam up for a snack before breakfast.”
Alan nodded. “Yeah, that’s true. They probably didn’t…right?”
Jake nodded. “Right. No way.”
Alan nodded back at him. “Right. They didn’t.”
“Right.”
“Right.”
“Right?”
Jake sighed. “All of a sudden, I’m not sure.”
It was a long moment before the realized the soft noise they were hearing were Sam’s muffled snickers. Alan rounded on him again. “What? You know something, don’t you? Asshole! What do you know?”
Sam laughed merrily, his eyes tearing up. “What a couple of pussies you two are. Of course nothing’s going on, you idiots. Cam and K? Give me a break. You’re just so gullible.”
Jake sent his pillow whizzing back at Sam and sighed, relieved. “Right. See, Alan, it’s just like I told you. Trade me in for Cam? Never.”
“Right. Because if he traded me in for K, I’d think he really needed his head examined.”
There was a long pause, during which they finished their beers and Jake got up for another round before he spoke. “So. Single again. You know,” he said thoughtfully, “I thought I’d be thrilled, but I’m not. I just feel a little…lost.”
“Tell me about it. I’m not getting any younger. Or any more attractive.” Alan pouted and Sam laughed. “Shut it, Sam. But yeah, single again. I was kinda starting to enjoy being one of the taken ones, you know?”
Jake shrugged. “Well, at least we have each other.”
Alan nodded, then looked between Sam and Jake, wondering how long it’d take this time. “Just, when you two fall hopelessly in love, don’t leave me completely out in the cold, okay?”
Jake shot a glance at Sam that spoke volumes, though Sam never was that good at reading Jake and missed it. Alan caught it, though, and despite what Jake said, he knew it’d happen more quickly than he’d first thought. “Hopelessly in love? Can’t. There’s a Jamaican peninsula in the way.”
Sam smirked a little. “Just because he’s gorgeous, smart, funny, and sweet is no reason to be jealous, Jake.”
“Nah, but he has a stupid name and that’s enough of a reason to laugh.”
Sam flipped him off and Jake grinned. “I know you want to, Sammy. But try and keep your libido in check, will you?”
Sam rolled his eyes. “Getting back to the issue at hand, yes, Jake, despite that fact that you’re a bastard, you can have your room back.”
“Thanks, Sa-“
“As soon as Montego and I take down the love swing and hide the bondage table.”
Jake paled and Alan laughed so hard he nearly snorted beer out of his nose. “No, Sam, tell me you’re not…”
“Gullible,” Sam said, shaking his head carefully so as to ensure the room wouldn’t spin anymore. “Oh, my beautiful, gullible Jake.”
“Fuck you.”
“Yeah, Jake, I know you’d like to, but try and keep your libido in check, all right?”
Jake laughed. “Fine. I don’t have much more left over there, so I can get it all moved by tomorrow. That cool? And I’ll give you this month’s rent.”
Sam waved it off drunkenly. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Ooh. He’s drunk.”
Jake nodded. “Indeed he is.” He relaxed back into the chair, grinning big. “This is just like old times, before we got old and responsible and involved and shit.”
Alan shared his nostalgia. “Ah, the good old days. When I was young and cute.”
“Aww, baby. You’re still cute.”
Alan laughed. “Yep, Sam. You really are drunk.”
They lapsed into a comfortable silence, Sam leaning into Alan’s arms like he always did when he’d had a few, finding physical contact in the nearest person. Jake didn’t mind; it gave him the a good chance to look at Sam, to see what he’d missed over the last few months, to look for those small, subtle changes only someone in love would ever notice. It was a few moments before he realized what Alan was doing; when he did, he joined in, singing softly, just to see Sam smile.
”Aruba, Jamaica…”