So I was walking around my apartment last night wearing only my speedo-styled underwear, when I walked past my front window and saw the flashing lights of 3 police cruisers. My first thought was "oh fuck, Cops: whatcha gonna do when they come for you", since I recently drove an academic shovel through the brain of Geoffrey Chaucer and promptly ( Read more... )

Warning: Those who are squeamish towards excrement-related content, please turn away ( Read more... )

Happy Birthday Ellie indeed!

Here's to birthdays, wonder and booze! Although I sadly cannot join you in person for birthday merriment, you can count on a birthday beer on me when I get back to Kitchener after this term is over, if it will ever be over. Have fun tonight!

Dear Canon of British Literature. What would you do if I traveled back in time, grabbed Geoffry Chacuer by his proto-liberal (or classic conservative) throat and strangled the life out of him? What if I did this before the Canterbury Tales were ever written? Would you contact the School of Graduate Studies and Research at Queens University and ( Read more... )

My pursuit of the perfect Shawarma has met a significant road block in Kingston. After a successful first experiment in home Shawarma cookery, an attempt at repetition failed miserably. Disheartened at my inability to achieve cullinary greatness in the home, I set out to the Famous King restaurant at the corner of Chatham and Princess. It is the ( Read more... )

While tracking the elusive Samsquantch across the barely buried, cholera infected human remains in Skeleton park, I happened upon what I have decided is the cutest street I have ever seen. Convinced that I had lost the scent of the Samsquantch (for now), I decided to take a stroll down Raglan street. A leisurely stroll of course. Elderly folk in ( Read more... )

WARNING: MELODRAMATIC ( Read more... )

Mystery 1: So the weirdest thing happened to me today when I was driving. I was driving along and looked up towards a rock ledge. All of a sudden my field of vision started turning upside down and I felt like I was falling. I almost swerved to compensate, even though this obviously wasn't happening. Imediately afterwards I felt very nauseous. ( Read more... )

Dear Diary (friends/bb's ( Read more... )

Holy Crap! I just finished reading an extremely convoluted argument by Walter Benjamin, regarding the possibility of a moral or just violence. I responded with an equally convoluted email to my professor, in which I probably spelled "convoluted" incorrectly ( Read more... )