CURSE YOU MICHAEL JACKSON
Damn you Michael Jackson, you ruin everything! Because of your death, the deaths of soldiers in Iraq, a pregnant mother, and less weird celebrities have barely gone noticed. Why couldn't you have died at a more convenient time, when there was nothing else major going on in the world? Why?! Why weren't you considerate enough to realize your death would dominate the media for over a month, then accordingly plan to die during an uneventful month in the future? You just couldn't wait, could you? Why don't you be a man and resurrect so we can finally focus on what matters to us? If Jesus can do it, so can you.
Damn you Michael Jackson, for becoming so reclusive in response to scrutiny, that we all just scrutinized you more! Everyone knows that celebrities are like girls in grade school - when they play hard to get, they just want you to get them. Clearly you were just playing a worldwide game of hard to get, purposely tantalizing our moribdly curious hormones, hardening the cocks of paparazzi everywhere!
You knew exactly what you were doing when you died at the ripe old age of 50, didn't you? Didn't you?! It's all your fault that we spent decades paying more attention to you than our own lives! You wanted us to hack into your life more deeply than a hacker gets into a PC. Damn you for being talented, breaking barriers, then manipulating us into wanting your sweet goods oh so much more by trying to hide from us and live a quieter life. Damn you all to hell!
Damn you Michael Jackson, for becoming so reclusive in response to scrutiny, that we all just scrutinized you more! Everyone knows that celebrities are like girls in grade school - when they play hard to get, they just want you to get them. Clearly you were just playing a worldwide game of hard to get, purposely tantalizing our moribdly curious hormones, hardening the cocks of paparazzi everywhere!
You knew exactly what you were doing when you died at the ripe old age of 50, didn't you? Didn't you?! It's all your fault that we spent decades paying more attention to you than our own lives! You wanted us to hack into your life more deeply than a hacker gets into a PC. Damn you for being talented, breaking barriers, then manipulating us into wanting your sweet goods oh so much more by trying to hide from us and live a quieter life. Damn you all to hell!