FIC: Holding on to a lie, Part 24 (David/Amita, Ian, Charlie/Colby, David/OMC, Colby/Amita, Don, R)
Title: "The secret is out"
Series: Holding on to a lie, Part 24/26
Characters: David/Amita, Ian, Charlie/Colby, David/OMC, Colby/Amita, Don, Megan, Larry.
Rating: R.
Spoilers: None.
Warnings: Non-con.
Summary: Shame. Pain. Filth. Wrongness. Oh, God, Colby… Oh, God. Amita just wanted you and Charlie to care.
Feedback: I love it, yay! :)
Disclaimer: I do not own anything you can see/read/watch here.
Beta: The wonderful fredbassett.
Previous chapter
Next chapter
Holding on to a lie
Part 24: “The secret is out”
“David, what the hell are you doing? Come here right now! David!” Don yelled as he caught David running alone towards the house, carrying two guns. He even ran after him, but it was too late - David was already entering the house.
“Megan!” he called to the female agent, standing some distance away, discussing a new strategy with the SWAT team. She ran over to him, and Don noticed that she had just realized what had happened with David.
“Why did he do that?”
“I have no idea!”
“Something big must have happened.”
Don nodded and got into the van, followed by Megan. Suddenly, they were joined by Larry, hobbling carefully on his sprained ankle but with undiminished concern for his friends.
“Larry, you shouldn’t be here, you were supposed to be in the ambulance…” Megan told him.
“No, please, let me stay. I need to get a better view of the components of this twisted, crazy puzzle.”
Don held Megan’s gaze, then Larry’s. He knew that the physicist was just trying to help, that his friendship with the ones who were in danger, especially Charlie and Alan, was the reason why he wanted to stay in the van.
“Alright,” he said finally, and the three of them continued listening to what was going on inside.
“Take your hands off me, now!”
Colby’s words took Ian by surprise, but the sniper got the message and reacted. He readied his gun and quickly went downstairs.
I’ve had enough of this little game. I won’t fail. I won’t let it happen again. It won’t be like the last time, I swear.
“Stop right there or this will end up badly for you.”
Amita looked at him with surprise and anger, her hands buried deep inside Colby’s pants as he tried to resist her caresses.
Ian was thankful that Colby had finally noticed his presence. He had obviously been in pain because of Amita’s attack, but now maybe Ian could save him… He had to.
But, “Freeze!” a familiar voice suddenly said.
David kicked the door down, holding his gun tightly. “Freeze!”
He analyzed the situation, made a map of the possibilities in his head. Alan was on the floor, Liz had been knocked down, Berenson was speechless, unmoving with fear, Charlie had his eyes closed and was crying desperately.
Amita was abusing David’s best friend…
Little drops of sweat ran down David’s face - he’d end this, no matter what. He was glad to have Ian’s help on this, but he wanted to take care of it himself.
“I can handle this,” he told the sniper. “Let me do this.”
Ian was about to protest, but the truth was David was the only one who somehow understood Amita.
“Did you hear me, Ian?” David repeated. And when the other man came down the stairs slowly and stood beside him, he knew that Ian trusted him to know exactly what to do.
Charlie didn’t even want to open his eyes. He knew exactly what was going on, he had heard Ian and David’s voices, they were trying to help…
But the damage was done.
The past couldn’t be changed.
She had done it - yes, she had. It was impossible, and yet…
Yet, Amita had touched Colby right there… roughly, inappropriately, without caring about him or anyone… It had been only a minute, but it was more than enough.
How could she do that? Why? Weren’t the torture, the pills, the damn cookies enough?
She obviously wanted everything, and she was willing to take everyone into her sick, twisted world.
But Colby?
Oh, God, Colby… Oh, God.
What the hell did it feel like - being possessed by someone who had hurt the ones Colby loved the most, being taken in front of other people by someone he hated?”
Shame. Pain. Filth. Wrongness.
Would Colby survive this experience? Would Charlie’s love be enough to heal him? Or would the marks on the green-eyed agent’s heart and body be so strong to make him want to leave? After all, David had changed; it was evident that the reason for it had been that he had been abused, too.
But most important, would Charlie ever be able to stop feeling guilty for what had happened to Colby? Amita was his ex-girlfriend and he was supposed to know her, he was supposed to be able to interpret the signs of her insanity.
Charlie hadn’t seen anything. Numbers, equations, criminal cases had made his mind their home.
He could even find shelter there right now, he could work on his calculations and stop the pain, get out of this world.
But he didn’t want to. He knew that if he kept hiding from this, he wouldn’t be able to find the way to fix things. No one could build up a theory and put it in practice without knowing all the facts, no matter how horrible they were.
So Charlie forced his eyes open.
He held his breath and told himself that he had to see everything - Colby, Amita, Ian, David, his father and Liz lying on the floor, even Berenson. He had to listen to every single world, to try to get the meanings.
It wasn’t about numbers anymore. It was all about love.
And he could feel the love for Colby as they locked eyes. Ian was there, David was there… there was still a possibility to get out of the situation.
But was there a possibility for Charlie and Colby to survive as a couple after an experience like this?
Stop. This is not the time to analyze that. Make your mind shut up, hold yourself together and listen. David’s talking.
As David spoke, he felt like he was finally doing the right things. It hurt like hell talking to Amita because of all the memories that brought back, but…
“Amita… Stop it. Just stop.” He didn’t look at Ian, who was pointing his gun at her, too. David was focused on her and Colby, and no one else. “Get your hand out of there.”
“He likes it. He likes it when I touch him like that.”
David could see Colby breathing hard, his tired and desperate expression as he made his last efforts to get away from Amita, no matter how impossible that was, given the fact that he was tied up.
“Have you listened to your own words?” David continued. “Do you really understand what you’re saying?”
“I do,” Amita responded, with her hands still on Colby’s length. “He enjoys it the same way you did.”
Colby and Charlie shook their heads, and David knew that they had figured out what his secret was. He wasn’t surprised. It was evident as this point. Now the pieces were finally starting to come together.
The only one who was surprised was Ian, who stared at David for a second as if he couldn’t believe the idea that was hanging in the air. But soon the sniper turned his attention back to Amita, who was speaking again.
“You don’t want to admit it, but you liked it when I took you on my couch. You liked the fact that I stopped you from moving. You loved it when it was rough.”
“No... That is not…” David muttered, and he could see with the corner of his eye that Berenson was shaking from head to feet, still seated at the table.
“You had your fun pretending I was that guy, the one you liked when you were young… Daniel, wasn’t that his name?”
“I trusted you with that… yet, you turned it into the worst experience of my life.” Trembling, David knew that his voice was fading, that he was losing control over it. “Not even your hate for Charlie and Colby gave you the right to do it, to me or Colby or anyone else.”
“And you think I don’t know that?!” she yelled at him. “Whatever I do, whatever I think about, I know that this is wrong. But I can’t stop it,” Amita was crying right now, “I can’t stop it…”
She suddenly stopped. She wiped her tears and smiled. Then she started working Colby’s length up and down again…
“Damn it!” David yelled, running towards Amita before she could take the gun she had tied to her belt.
He took her hand away from Colby, he slapped her on the face, he even took her with him until her back hit the wall. Having her heavy breathing all over his face and having her skin against his was only making memories harder to deal with, but this was necessary.
David was expecting it. The torture of being face to face with his rapist would break him.
“I told you to stop. You don’t listen, then you deal with the consequences,” he told her, and tears ran down his face. He couldn’t help it. Tension was too overwhelming; he wasn’t able to control his feelings and reactions. “Look at this place, look at this people. Look at the mess you’ve done.”
While he was still holding her wrists to keep her against the wall, he could see her eyes on his. “Just do it,” he told her in a whisper.
She intimidated him because, in a way, Amita had been right. David had hated the incident at the apartment, but a big part of that hate was because of the fact that he had somehow enjoyed it. He’d had his release… wasn’t that liking it? Wasn’t she just telling the truth? Because David had said Daniel’s name, he had repeated it over and over again as Amita took advantage of him…
Evidently, she knew that. She had used that argument to fight against his, she had been aware of her effect on David.
Now, she was looking around, and he was whispering, “Liz. Alan. Colby. Damn, even Berenson. You hurt Charlie and the ones he loved. Was that what you really wanted?”
Her eyelashes were trembling as she finally spoke. “No… This is… I just wanted… I wanted them to care!” she suddenly yelled. This time David knew it - Amita’s tears were real and she was speaking from her heart. “I wanted them to care about what they were doing to me!”
“Was this the way to get that?”
“No…”
“Then…”
“Then…” Amita looked into David’s eyes. She gasped in pain and whispered, “I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”
Of course, David didn’t answer. He had enough with his own guilt to take hers. He just listened.
“Please… take me to a place… where I can get better. Please… Please!”
She started to move, as if she wanted to hold David. He wanted to make as little contact with her as possible, so he tried to stop her from putting a hand on him. She was desperate and she still had a lot of energy.
Someone put an end to it. There was a shot and suddenly Amita stopped moving, as her mouth opened in a painful, silent scream and her eyes went wide open. It seemed like she wasn’t there anymore.
David looked down and found that a bullet had been put into her leg. The wound was about to bleed and only one person could have caused it.
He turned around to find Ian talking with a weird tone of voice - rough, disappointed, somehow painful. “We’re done,” the sniper said as he shook his head and left. It wasn’t the reaction David was expecting.
Worried, he took Amita’s gun and knife and took care of her until a group of agents and EMTs started to walk into the house.
The worst part was seeing Don and Megan looking back at him from time to time as they untied and helped the victims of Amita’s craziness. David remembered well that the bug that Bob Berenson had brought into the house was still on.
His shameful secret was out and there was nothing he could do about it anymore.
Series: Holding on to a lie, Part 24/26
Characters: David/Amita, Ian, Charlie/Colby, David/OMC, Colby/Amita, Don, Megan, Larry.
Rating: R.
Spoilers: None.
Warnings: Non-con.
Summary: Shame. Pain. Filth. Wrongness. Oh, God, Colby… Oh, God. Amita just wanted you and Charlie to care.
Feedback: I love it, yay! :)
Disclaimer: I do not own anything you can see/read/watch here.
Beta: The wonderful fredbassett.
Previous chapter
Next chapter
Holding on to a lie
Part 24: “The secret is out”
“David, what the hell are you doing? Come here right now! David!” Don yelled as he caught David running alone towards the house, carrying two guns. He even ran after him, but it was too late - David was already entering the house.
“Megan!” he called to the female agent, standing some distance away, discussing a new strategy with the SWAT team. She ran over to him, and Don noticed that she had just realized what had happened with David.
“Why did he do that?”
“I have no idea!”
“Something big must have happened.”
Don nodded and got into the van, followed by Megan. Suddenly, they were joined by Larry, hobbling carefully on his sprained ankle but with undiminished concern for his friends.
“Larry, you shouldn’t be here, you were supposed to be in the ambulance…” Megan told him.
“No, please, let me stay. I need to get a better view of the components of this twisted, crazy puzzle.”
Don held Megan’s gaze, then Larry’s. He knew that the physicist was just trying to help, that his friendship with the ones who were in danger, especially Charlie and Alan, was the reason why he wanted to stay in the van.
“Alright,” he said finally, and the three of them continued listening to what was going on inside.
“Take your hands off me, now!”
Colby’s words took Ian by surprise, but the sniper got the message and reacted. He readied his gun and quickly went downstairs.
I’ve had enough of this little game. I won’t fail. I won’t let it happen again. It won’t be like the last time, I swear.
“Stop right there or this will end up badly for you.”
Amita looked at him with surprise and anger, her hands buried deep inside Colby’s pants as he tried to resist her caresses.
Ian was thankful that Colby had finally noticed his presence. He had obviously been in pain because of Amita’s attack, but now maybe Ian could save him… He had to.
But, “Freeze!” a familiar voice suddenly said.
David kicked the door down, holding his gun tightly. “Freeze!”
He analyzed the situation, made a map of the possibilities in his head. Alan was on the floor, Liz had been knocked down, Berenson was speechless, unmoving with fear, Charlie had his eyes closed and was crying desperately.
Amita was abusing David’s best friend…
Little drops of sweat ran down David’s face - he’d end this, no matter what. He was glad to have Ian’s help on this, but he wanted to take care of it himself.
“I can handle this,” he told the sniper. “Let me do this.”
Ian was about to protest, but the truth was David was the only one who somehow understood Amita.
“Did you hear me, Ian?” David repeated. And when the other man came down the stairs slowly and stood beside him, he knew that Ian trusted him to know exactly what to do.
Charlie didn’t even want to open his eyes. He knew exactly what was going on, he had heard Ian and David’s voices, they were trying to help…
But the damage was done.
The past couldn’t be changed.
She had done it - yes, she had. It was impossible, and yet…
Yet, Amita had touched Colby right there… roughly, inappropriately, without caring about him or anyone… It had been only a minute, but it was more than enough.
How could she do that? Why? Weren’t the torture, the pills, the damn cookies enough?
She obviously wanted everything, and she was willing to take everyone into her sick, twisted world.
But Colby?
Oh, God, Colby… Oh, God.
What the hell did it feel like - being possessed by someone who had hurt the ones Colby loved the most, being taken in front of other people by someone he hated?”
Shame. Pain. Filth. Wrongness.
Would Colby survive this experience? Would Charlie’s love be enough to heal him? Or would the marks on the green-eyed agent’s heart and body be so strong to make him want to leave? After all, David had changed; it was evident that the reason for it had been that he had been abused, too.
But most important, would Charlie ever be able to stop feeling guilty for what had happened to Colby? Amita was his ex-girlfriend and he was supposed to know her, he was supposed to be able to interpret the signs of her insanity.
Charlie hadn’t seen anything. Numbers, equations, criminal cases had made his mind their home.
He could even find shelter there right now, he could work on his calculations and stop the pain, get out of this world.
But he didn’t want to. He knew that if he kept hiding from this, he wouldn’t be able to find the way to fix things. No one could build up a theory and put it in practice without knowing all the facts, no matter how horrible they were.
So Charlie forced his eyes open.
He held his breath and told himself that he had to see everything - Colby, Amita, Ian, David, his father and Liz lying on the floor, even Berenson. He had to listen to every single world, to try to get the meanings.
It wasn’t about numbers anymore. It was all about love.
And he could feel the love for Colby as they locked eyes. Ian was there, David was there… there was still a possibility to get out of the situation.
But was there a possibility for Charlie and Colby to survive as a couple after an experience like this?
Stop. This is not the time to analyze that. Make your mind shut up, hold yourself together and listen. David’s talking.
As David spoke, he felt like he was finally doing the right things. It hurt like hell talking to Amita because of all the memories that brought back, but…
“Amita… Stop it. Just stop.” He didn’t look at Ian, who was pointing his gun at her, too. David was focused on her and Colby, and no one else. “Get your hand out of there.”
“He likes it. He likes it when I touch him like that.”
David could see Colby breathing hard, his tired and desperate expression as he made his last efforts to get away from Amita, no matter how impossible that was, given the fact that he was tied up.
“Have you listened to your own words?” David continued. “Do you really understand what you’re saying?”
“I do,” Amita responded, with her hands still on Colby’s length. “He enjoys it the same way you did.”
Colby and Charlie shook their heads, and David knew that they had figured out what his secret was. He wasn’t surprised. It was evident as this point. Now the pieces were finally starting to come together.
The only one who was surprised was Ian, who stared at David for a second as if he couldn’t believe the idea that was hanging in the air. But soon the sniper turned his attention back to Amita, who was speaking again.
“You don’t want to admit it, but you liked it when I took you on my couch. You liked the fact that I stopped you from moving. You loved it when it was rough.”
“No... That is not…” David muttered, and he could see with the corner of his eye that Berenson was shaking from head to feet, still seated at the table.
“You had your fun pretending I was that guy, the one you liked when you were young… Daniel, wasn’t that his name?”
“I trusted you with that… yet, you turned it into the worst experience of my life.” Trembling, David knew that his voice was fading, that he was losing control over it. “Not even your hate for Charlie and Colby gave you the right to do it, to me or Colby or anyone else.”
“And you think I don’t know that?!” she yelled at him. “Whatever I do, whatever I think about, I know that this is wrong. But I can’t stop it,” Amita was crying right now, “I can’t stop it…”
She suddenly stopped. She wiped her tears and smiled. Then she started working Colby’s length up and down again…
“Damn it!” David yelled, running towards Amita before she could take the gun she had tied to her belt.
He took her hand away from Colby, he slapped her on the face, he even took her with him until her back hit the wall. Having her heavy breathing all over his face and having her skin against his was only making memories harder to deal with, but this was necessary.
David was expecting it. The torture of being face to face with his rapist would break him.
“I told you to stop. You don’t listen, then you deal with the consequences,” he told her, and tears ran down his face. He couldn’t help it. Tension was too overwhelming; he wasn’t able to control his feelings and reactions. “Look at this place, look at this people. Look at the mess you’ve done.”
While he was still holding her wrists to keep her against the wall, he could see her eyes on his. “Just do it,” he told her in a whisper.
She intimidated him because, in a way, Amita had been right. David had hated the incident at the apartment, but a big part of that hate was because of the fact that he had somehow enjoyed it. He’d had his release… wasn’t that liking it? Wasn’t she just telling the truth? Because David had said Daniel’s name, he had repeated it over and over again as Amita took advantage of him…
Evidently, she knew that. She had used that argument to fight against his, she had been aware of her effect on David.
Now, she was looking around, and he was whispering, “Liz. Alan. Colby. Damn, even Berenson. You hurt Charlie and the ones he loved. Was that what you really wanted?”
Her eyelashes were trembling as she finally spoke. “No… This is… I just wanted… I wanted them to care!” she suddenly yelled. This time David knew it - Amita’s tears were real and she was speaking from her heart. “I wanted them to care about what they were doing to me!”
“Was this the way to get that?”
“No…”
“Then…”
“Then…” Amita looked into David’s eyes. She gasped in pain and whispered, “I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”
Of course, David didn’t answer. He had enough with his own guilt to take hers. He just listened.
“Please… take me to a place… where I can get better. Please… Please!”
She started to move, as if she wanted to hold David. He wanted to make as little contact with her as possible, so he tried to stop her from putting a hand on him. She was desperate and she still had a lot of energy.
Someone put an end to it. There was a shot and suddenly Amita stopped moving, as her mouth opened in a painful, silent scream and her eyes went wide open. It seemed like she wasn’t there anymore.
David looked down and found that a bullet had been put into her leg. The wound was about to bleed and only one person could have caused it.
He turned around to find Ian talking with a weird tone of voice - rough, disappointed, somehow painful. “We’re done,” the sniper said as he shook his head and left. It wasn’t the reaction David was expecting.
Worried, he took Amita’s gun and knife and took care of her until a group of agents and EMTs started to walk into the house.
The worst part was seeing Don and Megan looking back at him from time to time as they untied and helped the victims of Amita’s craziness. David remembered well that the bug that Bob Berenson had brought into the house was still on.
His shameful secret was out and there was nothing he could do about it anymore.