Random stuff I'll regret saying later
Well, in my interim from these postings I realized I had something going here; something that was once considered well written and interesting.
The fact that no one follows this journal anymore and that most of what I write is just diarrhea of the mouth should make it entirely of no interest. I rather enjoy this idea; that I finally have a journal I can just keep to myself. My original intent in writing in this 15 years ago was of course to flatter and offend my friends and followers at the same time. But here I am at 36 and my "friends" don't do this type of thing because they are boring and I dislike most of them. The ones I do enjoy are off doing more adventurous things or just trying to earn a living in our field. Being a "Dr." afterall, does not prescribe one with money or even living wages, depending where you choose to live or get forced to live, in my situation. I sit here nightly, drinking something and I tell myself I will regret things I write while drinking, but I'm always drinking so giving up my greatest talent seems an unnecessary tragedy, something I suppressed for a long time, like almost a decade, and then I go back to read and see I'm a stranger in my own world. I'm good. Really good. I shouldn't give this up for anyone's sake. But I happen to start sentences with the wrong words , and be a people pleaser, and thus writing anything honestly at all is a challenge I wish to overcome.