Passover isn't for two weeks, but....
Here are some early Passover jokes I've gotten.
If they don't make sense to you, don't worry. You're just not Jewish. ;)
Or maybe you hate puns. Either or. :D
At our seder, we had whole wheat and bran matzoh, fortified with Metamucil. The brand name, of course, is..."Let My People Go."
A group of leading medical researchers has published data indicating that Seder participants should NOT partake of both chopped liver and charoses. It seems that this combination can lead to Charoses of the liver.
If a doctor carries a black bag and a plumber carries a tool box, what does a mohel carry?
A bris kit!
Old Jewish men in Miami get hernias from wearing chai's which are too heavy. This condition is called chaiatal hernia!
JEWISH JEOPARDY: We give the answer, you give the question
A: Midrash
Q: What is a Middle East skin disease?
A: The Gaza Strip
Q: What is an Egyptian Belly Dance?
A: A classroom, a Passover ceremony, and a latke
Q: What are a cheder, a seder, and a tater?
A: Sofer
Q: On what do Jews recline on Passover?
A: Babylon
Q: What does the rabbi do during some sermons?
A: Filet Minyan
Q: What do you call steaks ordered by 10 Jews?
A: Kishka, sukkah, and circumcision
Q: What are a gut, a hut, and a cut?
And speaking of circumcisions: An enterprising Rabbi is offering circumcisions via the Internet. The service is to be called..."E-MOIL."
Okay, enough bad puns for a while.
If they don't make sense to you, don't worry. You're just not Jewish. ;)
Or maybe you hate puns. Either or. :D
At our seder, we had whole wheat and bran matzoh, fortified with Metamucil. The brand name, of course, is..."Let My People Go."
A group of leading medical researchers has published data indicating that Seder participants should NOT partake of both chopped liver and charoses. It seems that this combination can lead to Charoses of the liver.
If a doctor carries a black bag and a plumber carries a tool box, what does a mohel carry?
A bris kit!
Old Jewish men in Miami get hernias from wearing chai's which are too heavy. This condition is called chaiatal hernia!
JEWISH JEOPARDY: We give the answer, you give the question
A: Midrash
Q: What is a Middle East skin disease?
A: The Gaza Strip
Q: What is an Egyptian Belly Dance?
A: A classroom, a Passover ceremony, and a latke
Q: What are a cheder, a seder, and a tater?
A: Sofer
Q: On what do Jews recline on Passover?
A: Babylon
Q: What does the rabbi do during some sermons?
A: Filet Minyan
Q: What do you call steaks ordered by 10 Jews?
A: Kishka, sukkah, and circumcision
Q: What are a gut, a hut, and a cut?
And speaking of circumcisions: An enterprising Rabbi is offering circumcisions via the Internet. The service is to be called..."E-MOIL."
Okay, enough bad puns for a while.