A Dance with Dragons
as of about 350 or so (I have the iBook and audible book)
So far, the only POVs in this book to hold my interest are Bran, Theon, Jon, and Asha. Jon has never been a favorite POV of mine though I like him well enough as a character, but he's really grown on me this book. Bran's never been my favorite either, though I've always thought him a sweet thing, and here Bran 2 was just beautiful. Asha's always good, and I've always had this special fascination with Theon. Pretty much his Reek chapters are like porn for my twisted soul, which is wrong and sick I know because they're pretty awful, but I can't help myself. So we have hints that he was raped by Ramsey, and how stupid of Roose and Ramsey to go parading fake!Arya in front of him. My fantasy is that he'll find some redemption and for once act upon those teeny glimmers of conscience that have always lurked in him and rescue her. My fanwank is that he was tragically in love with Robb and struggled with it and took Winterfell and tried to be the badass, ruthless Ironborn his father wanted so he could deny the slashy truth to himself. Robb/Theon forever.
Speaking of tragic gay love with dead royalty, I want to like the Griff thing. I mean the idea of it, of Griff loving Rhaegar all those years and feeling as though he's failed him and raising his son in secret to make up for it. I want to love that, but the Aegan thing pisses me off. It would be more tragic if Aegan is fake and Varys and Illyrio are exploiting Griff's love for Rhaegar for their own gain, but if Aegan's fake that's kind of another dumb plot diversion, and do we need that? If Aegan's real, well that's just some shark-jumping bullshit this late in the game. It's cheap and cliche, and frustrating. I think Dany vs. Stannis vs. Jon (if he is a Targ) is all the squabble over who has the best claim one story needs. Plus, it takes away from the terrible realism of the story - the thing that elevates it above most fantasy. The brutal murder of Elia and her children was one of the things that set the grim and unfortunately realistic tone early on, one of the things that sticks with you. So I hope he's fake, or some other Aegan. And why is Dorne so keen to rally for Targs anyway when Rhaegar's choosing Lynna over Elia contribued to the whole mess in the first place? That I don't get.
Anyway.
The rest of this book is boring. So boring I feel like screaming when the chapters just won't end. I don't give a crap about Tyrion's little travelogue of the Free Cities. I don't need to hear about him peeing all the time. I get it, he killed his dead. Stop reminding me every other page. I wish GRRM hadn't given us a new version of Arya and the Hound with Tyrion and Jorah. Arya and the Hound are more awesome, kthnx? I want Sansa. I dont' care about what's going in Mereen either. I want Cersei and Jaime and Arya and Brienne. I could do without Asha's rape fantasy or Tyrion whore-raping and then expecting us to feel sorry for him. I don't need to read the Lord of Light ritual ten thousand times. I've had it with all the exposition. Can I have a Hound POV, please?
I hope things get more exciting soon. I hope the phrase "grey beards and green boys" isn't used again.
I'm going to start skipping chapters.
So far, the only POVs in this book to hold my interest are Bran, Theon, Jon, and Asha. Jon has never been a favorite POV of mine though I like him well enough as a character, but he's really grown on me this book. Bran's never been my favorite either, though I've always thought him a sweet thing, and here Bran 2 was just beautiful. Asha's always good, and I've always had this special fascination with Theon. Pretty much his Reek chapters are like porn for my twisted soul, which is wrong and sick I know because they're pretty awful, but I can't help myself. So we have hints that he was raped by Ramsey, and how stupid of Roose and Ramsey to go parading fake!Arya in front of him. My fantasy is that he'll find some redemption and for once act upon those teeny glimmers of conscience that have always lurked in him and rescue her. My fanwank is that he was tragically in love with Robb and struggled with it and took Winterfell and tried to be the badass, ruthless Ironborn his father wanted so he could deny the slashy truth to himself. Robb/Theon forever.
Speaking of tragic gay love with dead royalty, I want to like the Griff thing. I mean the idea of it, of Griff loving Rhaegar all those years and feeling as though he's failed him and raising his son in secret to make up for it. I want to love that, but the Aegan thing pisses me off. It would be more tragic if Aegan is fake and Varys and Illyrio are exploiting Griff's love for Rhaegar for their own gain, but if Aegan's fake that's kind of another dumb plot diversion, and do we need that? If Aegan's real, well that's just some shark-jumping bullshit this late in the game. It's cheap and cliche, and frustrating. I think Dany vs. Stannis vs. Jon (if he is a Targ) is all the squabble over who has the best claim one story needs. Plus, it takes away from the terrible realism of the story - the thing that elevates it above most fantasy. The brutal murder of Elia and her children was one of the things that set the grim and unfortunately realistic tone early on, one of the things that sticks with you. So I hope he's fake, or some other Aegan. And why is Dorne so keen to rally for Targs anyway when Rhaegar's choosing Lynna over Elia contribued to the whole mess in the first place? That I don't get.
Anyway.
The rest of this book is boring. So boring I feel like screaming when the chapters just won't end. I don't give a crap about Tyrion's little travelogue of the Free Cities. I don't need to hear about him peeing all the time. I get it, he killed his dead. Stop reminding me every other page. I wish GRRM hadn't given us a new version of Arya and the Hound with Tyrion and Jorah. Arya and the Hound are more awesome, kthnx? I want Sansa. I dont' care about what's going in Mereen either. I want Cersei and Jaime and Arya and Brienne. I could do without Asha's rape fantasy or Tyrion whore-raping and then expecting us to feel sorry for him. I don't need to read the Lord of Light ritual ten thousand times. I've had it with all the exposition. Can I have a Hound POV, please?
I hope things get more exciting soon. I hope the phrase "grey beards and green boys" isn't used again.
I'm going to start skipping chapters.