I like this, a lot. It feels like sleep to me, and I especially enjoyed the rhyme, which came almost as a surprise to me because I didn't expect it. I don't know if you intend for this to be complete, but I would love to read more - not an elaboration on the imagery here because I like how "neat" and spare it is, but just more of this scene. Do you know what I mean? Not necessarily piling MORE on what you already have, just adding something new to be a part of it.
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skin against skin
in the spaces of
sheets. sleeping with
sleep. the cool of a cheek.
warmth of a soul
pulled back from the brink.
almost still trap't across borders-
unmindful of the gap!
me against you
in dread of
the fight. our eyelids
tingle with the night.
but when i wake, i will still forgive you.
the rhythm of the second stanza just got to me. so i tossed it over. i do like the first alone. maybe i'll take it in a different direction one day.
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