are you bagging my town?pixie_1470April 22 2011, 10:16:25 UTC
um excuse me, i live in that very town called bacchus marsh, i was born here and have lived here for 16 years and i absolutely love it do you have a problem with the name of my town or my town?? com at me bro!
It annoys me, reading about the various points where characters reveal sudden nonsequiteur philosophical truisms, because it seems to me that if this girl took the time to sit down and think over what she actually wants to say, she would be able to a- structure her words so they don't seem so silly, and b- actually make decent plot. I'm not saying that the cliqued plot devices would disappear, or that her actual style would improve - but those are both things you can learn to avoid, I think. Instead, in her desire to ALREADY be seen as an author, and her need for a special title (that, by necessity, means she has to 'publish' NOW), she's screwing herself over. I'm not saying that I see any great potential authorship here, just that many writing skills can be learnt. But she's not interested in learning, which is... sad. If she were, she might actually write stuff half as good as she thinks this is.
Erm. Also. I have heard that Hoppy makes an unfortunate exit on a bus, at some point. So I will be watching for this moment :)
The ones that will live are the ones that buy stuff from BUDK catalog. Like my brother, but I steal his weapons. I can't wait for the zombie outbreak. It is going to be such fun.
Awwwww, if only the bears had stuck around. I mean, they're bound to get hungry eventually, right? :D
Also, I figure, if you're characters have to announce that they're growing and changing, it's maybe a sign that they really aren't and your writing needs to...needs to... aw, heck, I can't think of anything that would save this. Maybe a gallon of lighter fluid. And some matches.
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And it so is.
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i was born here and have lived here for 16 years and i absolutely love it
do you have a problem with the name of my town or my town??
com at me bro!
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Erm. Also. I have heard that Hoppy makes an unfortunate exit on a bus, at some point. So I will be watching for this moment :)
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Thank you for this reply.
And noooo Hoppy. ;A; He's the most tolerable character in this.
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Also, I figure, if you're characters have to announce that they're growing and changing, it's maybe a sign that they really aren't and your writing needs to...needs to... aw, heck, I can't think of anything that would save this. Maybe a gallon of lighter fluid. And some matches.
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*your
Note to self- next time, do not check internet first thing in the morning. XP
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