i'm not okay.
I know blue eyes get boring
But, I'll wear dark glasses all the time.
And hey, if you want me to,
I'll take a knife to my own bright eyes.
...I swear.
--
Well if you wanted honesty, That's all you had to say.
I swear to God I keep thinking one day I'll get a phone call saying that you're dead. You'll get so drunk one day you'll get in the car, no seat-belt, no friends there to make you put one on, grip the wheel tight, pedal down, and straight into a ditch, and you won't wake up again. I'm not okay, I'm not okay, I'm not okay, You wear me out. You are the best actor I've ever met in my life, because my God when you are happy, you must really be acting happy. You light me up, you light everyone up when you're happy. You don't try, but you sure as hell succeed in making us all happy around you when you're happy. Stop doing this to yourself. What exactly are you attempting? Because you keep hitting this ditch, over and over. What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems? I don't want to have to loose you after only having you for 15 1/2 years of my life. I remember when he dumped me, for the dumbest reason, and you walked into the dark, all bouncy, and asked "how's the boyfriend?" and I looked up, all teary eyed, and replied "what boyfriend." You knew I didn't want an answer. That was it, I broke, and I started sobbing. You put on some stupid rap song, and made me dance to it, then told me to call Emily, and you made me ask her to come over. Soon enough, she was there with Ben&Jerrys. You left us alone and went out with friends. But as soon as you knew he dumped me, all you kept saying was "Where the fuck does he live?" "I'll fucking key his car." "What a pussy. Doing it over the computer. What a fucking pussy. I swear to God he'll be in the pavement by tonite. Don't worry, Meg. He'll die." Of course, you wouldn't really do a damn thing about it. But my God, you are so protective. I guess you have to be. My Dad's at work from 5:30am to 6:30pm Monday-Friday, 6am-3pm Saturdays, and Sunday's he does have off, he just does yard work and stuff. So I know you feel the need to be so over-protective. Even boyfriends that I have that don't do anything bad, that I break up with you want to beat-up. But you really need to listen to me, Because I'm telling you the truth. Where do you want to end up, exactly? If you want good, you're not heading in the proper direction, and if you want bad, you're on the right track, and if you want an in-between, I don't understand that at all. Why settle for less when I know you're strong enough to achieve an extraordinary life. I care about you're life more than mine, more than my school work, more than anything, it seems. Has this been the worst 6 years of your life? God, I hope so. I have so many pictures of you, playing video games, laughing with Ricky and Brian, even Ann. Stop hurting me, and for God's sakes, stop hurting everyone else around you. I cry for you, more than I cry for myself. I want to hear your excuses, and I don't want sorry excuses. Don't be speechless. Well, I'm not okay, I'm not o-fucking-kay. I love you so much.
But, I'll wear dark glasses all the time.
And hey, if you want me to,
I'll take a knife to my own bright eyes.
...I swear.
--
Well if you wanted honesty, That's all you had to say.
I swear to God I keep thinking one day I'll get a phone call saying that you're dead. You'll get so drunk one day you'll get in the car, no seat-belt, no friends there to make you put one on, grip the wheel tight, pedal down, and straight into a ditch, and you won't wake up again. I'm not okay, I'm not okay, I'm not okay, You wear me out. You are the best actor I've ever met in my life, because my God when you are happy, you must really be acting happy. You light me up, you light everyone up when you're happy. You don't try, but you sure as hell succeed in making us all happy around you when you're happy. Stop doing this to yourself. What exactly are you attempting? Because you keep hitting this ditch, over and over. What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems? I don't want to have to loose you after only having you for 15 1/2 years of my life. I remember when he dumped me, for the dumbest reason, and you walked into the dark, all bouncy, and asked "how's the boyfriend?" and I looked up, all teary eyed, and replied "what boyfriend." You knew I didn't want an answer. That was it, I broke, and I started sobbing. You put on some stupid rap song, and made me dance to it, then told me to call Emily, and you made me ask her to come over. Soon enough, she was there with Ben&Jerrys. You left us alone and went out with friends. But as soon as you knew he dumped me, all you kept saying was "Where the fuck does he live?" "I'll fucking key his car." "What a pussy. Doing it over the computer. What a fucking pussy. I swear to God he'll be in the pavement by tonite. Don't worry, Meg. He'll die." Of course, you wouldn't really do a damn thing about it. But my God, you are so protective. I guess you have to be. My Dad's at work from 5:30am to 6:30pm Monday-Friday, 6am-3pm Saturdays, and Sunday's he does have off, he just does yard work and stuff. So I know you feel the need to be so over-protective. Even boyfriends that I have that don't do anything bad, that I break up with you want to beat-up. But you really need to listen to me, Because I'm telling you the truth. Where do you want to end up, exactly? If you want good, you're not heading in the proper direction, and if you want bad, you're on the right track, and if you want an in-between, I don't understand that at all. Why settle for less when I know you're strong enough to achieve an extraordinary life. I care about you're life more than mine, more than my school work, more than anything, it seems. Has this been the worst 6 years of your life? God, I hope so. I have so many pictures of you, playing video games, laughing with Ricky and Brian, even Ann. Stop hurting me, and for God's sakes, stop hurting everyone else around you. I cry for you, more than I cry for myself. I want to hear your excuses, and I don't want sorry excuses. Don't be speechless. Well, I'm not okay, I'm not o-fucking-kay. I love you so much.