(Untitled)

[parsnip_chan]

Instead of working on my take home exam, I decided to finish writing this even if I don't think it's as good as the other one. However, I wrote 800 word in one sitting! Woot! Wait a minute. Does this mean I have to go back to working on my many works in progress?

Damn...

Title: Dalliance
Fandom: Full Metal Alchemist
Pairing: Roy Mustang/

Comments

[ouatic_7]

Riza wondered if a military discharge would be worth placing a bullet right between the eyes of the civilian standing next to Colonel Mustang. -- Really liked it except for this piece.

My suggestion:

Riza wondered if placing a bullet right between the eyes of the civilian standing next to Colonel Mustang would be worth the dishonorable discharge.

[parsnip_chan]

You know, I tried rewording that sentence a number of times, and I never thought of doing that. Thanks!

[ouatic_7]

You know what they say, "THose who can, do; those who can't become critics."