A Seaside Story (part 48)
They go back in, and, as usual, Subaru is paranoid they must sense something different about his demeanour. And isn’t it suspicious that they spent so long out there together? Why would Yasu even go out? He doesn’t smoke!
But they don’t say anything. Subaru guesses he has Sadako’s judicious distribution of drinks to thank for that. He has a few more himself, to, in the hope of eliminating any tell-tale behaviour, or at least giving himself an excuse. No-one says anything, but is Yoko eyeing him curiously? He just can’t tell any more. Even if he is thinking something, in his sharp little mind, he surely wouldn’t be so audacious as to say anything, would he?
He doesn’t, but Subaru never quite shakes the jumpy feeling, even though he has fun. He goes to bed feeling a lot of affection for his friends, but also still those nerves, that... anticipation, that feeling of waiting for something to happen.
He sleeps lightly, and when he wakes up he feels like it was part of another life. How can this be happening to him, and how can he be so eagerly waiting for it?
“So,” he asks his friends after breakfast. “How much longer do you guys think you’ll be staying?”
They laugh, and Subaru feels his cheeks heat up in embarrassment and paranoia.
“You want to get rid of us now, huh? Now we came to your birthday party,” teases Hina. “We’d hate to outstay our welcome!”
“No you wouldn’t,” says Subaru with a scowl. He knows his friends would delight in making his life more awkward if they can. “But don’t you guys have grown-up responsibilities now? Shouldn’t you get back to your jobs and girlfriends and all that?”
Hina sighs. “Yeah, you’re right,” he agrees. “But aren’t you glad we like you enough to stick around this long?”
Subaru guesses he is. He definitely is, but he won’t say so, not straight out like that. They’d really think there was something wrong if he started talking like that out of nowhere.
“I suppose we’ll head off in a day or two then,” Hina says, looking round at the others. They nod in agreement. Subaru guesses it will have to do, but he knows it’ll be tough for him to not seem impatient. He doesn’t want them to leave, but he wishes they weren’t here. He just has to get this sorted out. Then... life can resume.
He wishes he could at least try and avoid prolonged contact with his friends over the next few days, but Sadako doesn’t even provide him with as many chores as usual, obviously sparing him so he can make the most of the last of his time with them. Which would be very lovely of her, and of course he wants to spend time with them - he knows he’ll regret it when they’ve gone, if he doesn’t. But he knows he’s not very good at keeping up a facade of normalcy, particularly when they all insist on going out to the inn and hanging out with Yasu, and every time one of them looks at him he feels like they’re probing, scrutinising, putting two and two together.
So at least he’s prepared when Yoko, kindly accompanying him to the shop for dinner supplies, oh-so-casually says, “Well, I’m glad you’ve got a friend here, anyway.”
Subaru is on high alert. “Yeah, Yasu’s a good guy,” he says stiffly.
“Yeah. What are the chances of you finding someone you have so much in common with all the way out here?” Yoko goes on, innocently enough.
“Yeah,” agrees Subaru, still feeling guarded.
“So it’s just been the two of you, out here, all this time...” Yoko muses.
Subaru eyes him. “There’ve been quite a few guests visiting too,” he says. He wishes he was better at keeping his tone level. “I’ve met quite a few people who I’d never have met otherwise. Foreigners even!”
Yoko looks impressed. “Wow, you have developed,” he says with a grin.
Subaru frowns. One thing that hasn’t changed, he doesn’t like to be mocked. “I’ll be back soon,” he says, with a hint of warning.
Yoko arches a brow. “You’re not thinking of staying even longer?” he says. “You seem to have settled in so well.”
Subaru stares at him. “You’ve got to be kidding me! For the past 9 months I’ve thought of nothing but escaping from here!”
Yoko giggles at the passion of his exclamation. “But then poor young Yasu will be all alone again.”
Subaru doesn’t know what to say to that. He knows it, and when he thinks about it, full face-on, he doesn’t like it. “He’s been alone here all this time, it’s his choice,” he mutters.
“Yeah, but before now he’d never had a friend like you, right?” Yoko responds right away. “He obviously values you a lot. Look at all the stuff he got you for your birthday.”
Ahh, of course that wouldn’t have gone unnoticed. “He’s just a generous guy!” Subaru says, his exasperation starting to slip out. “I don’t think he’s trying to bribe me into staying!” He hadn’t even actually considered that before.
Yoko is quiet for a moment. “So you don’t think he’s...” He leans closer. “That way?”
Subaru could’ve guessed it was coming, but he still doesn’t know how to respond. He calls on all his experience of lying and deceit and keeping up facades to say, “Well, I can’t say it hasn’t occurred to me,” hoping that’s enough for Yoko without betraying Yasu too much. He doesn’t think he’d mind these guys knowing. Not enough for it to be a huge deal, anyway.
“So... do you think maybe he has a thing for you?” He nudges Subaru conspiratorially, with a naughty-schoolboy smirk.
Subaru snorts. “After the stuff I’ve done while I’ve been here? Not likely.” It could easily be true. And until he talked to Yasu last night, he definitely thought it was.
Yoko just looks at him sideways. “But if he did?” he persists. “That wouldn’t bother you? You’re pretty calm about it,” he says with a tinge of surprise.
“Like you said,” Subaru says levelly, “I’ve developed.”
Yoko drops it, but Subaru knows he isn’t convinced. Once he has an idea in his head, it’s hard to dislodge - it’s very frustrating when he’s wrong, but even worse when he’s right.
He almost dreads being around the others again, just in case Yoko brings it up to try and catch him out or have them gang up on him or something, so he’s quite amazed when Yoko says, “So, guys, are you ready to go in the morning?”
“Oh, we’re going in the morning now?” Hina asks.
“Well, might as well,” Yoko says. “I think we’ve exhausted the entertainment here really. And I miss my brothers! I hope they haven’t wrecked up the house without me.”
“You don’t have to rush off, really,” Subaru says, mainly because he doesn’t want to give Yoko any hint that he might be onto something.
“No, he’s right, we should go,” agrees Ryo. “We’d hate to outstay our welcome. Or start being taken for granted,” he adds with a grin.
Subaru smiles. “Yeah, I’m gonna miss having you guys around to scrub the bath with me,” he says wryly. He’s grateful to them really, both for leaving now, and for coming in thefirst place, and staying so long, even though this place holds little attraction, even for reformed delinquents leading gentle, sedate lives. “I tell you what, let’s get a few beers and go down to the beach tonight. Then you can sleep on the way back!”
The others nod, clearly persuaded by Subaru’s suggestion. He wonders belatedly what Sadako will make of this plan, and contemplates not letting her know about it at all, at least not before the event, but in the end he thinks he’d better use his new found maturity and responsibility, and own up, at least that he’s going out this evening.
She nods, but at the same time asks, “When are you going to be back?”
It’s as if she knows. “I’m not sure,” he admits. If that changes her mind, what will Subaru do? Sneak out anyway, like he always would’ve as a kid, or accept the disappointment like a grown-up?
As it happens, Sadako just tuts a little and rolls her eyes. “Just don’t drown yourself, or anyone else,” she warns, even though he hasn’t mentioned going to the beach at all. Subaru basks in the warm, pleasing feeling of being trusted - it really does feel good if you earn it, he reflects, not for the first time. And it’s good to know that he actually doesn’t intend to betray her trust, either. He can do it! This is a potential temptation, certainly, but he’s confident he can keep control.
Whether he can fully control his friends is another matter, but they’re not his problem. He only has to bear Sadako’s words in mind - anything else, they can take care of themselves. It’s not about being wild and crazy tonight though, it’s about having a nice time with his friends who he doesn’t know when he’ll see again. That’s a thought that brings him back down to earth, despite his eagerness for them to leave for other reasons, and the others must see his bittersweet mood, because they do their best to keep the atmosphere light and jolly. Yasu has brought his guitar and Ryo is persuaded to sing and play with him. They’re actually pretty good, and Subaru feels something of a competitive urge rise in him, he wants to sing with Yasu too! He tries not to look at Yasu too much as he sings, or he knows he’ll blush and stutter, but they sound good together. The others clap when they’re done, and Yasu smiles shyly at him, and Subaru’s heart does an odd little skip in his chest.
They light a little fire, and even though the temperature is dropping in the dark, Hina decides to take his shirt off, as he quite often does, and Yasu takes that as an invitation to join in and do the same. Subaru is glad it’s dark now, so no-one can see his discomfort. He’s not sure where to look.
After a few more beers, Hina has lost more than just his shirt, and takes off running towards the waves. He screeches as he throws himself into the water, but that doesn’t stop him.
“Yes Hina-chan, we know you’re a real man!” Yoko calls from beside the fire, as if he’s talking to a simpleton. “We could see that before you went in the water,” he giggles like a schoolboy.
Yasu looks at Subaru quizzically, but Subaru shakes his head. He doesn’t want Yasu getting any ideas about his friends. Yasu smiles, but then the smile becomes a grin, and he’s taking off his shorts too and running for the water, stumbling and falling into the waves as Hina laughs gleefully. It must look like such fun that Yoko soon joins in, and even Ryo, who Subaru was sure he could rely on to just stare scornfully at them with him, succumbs, laughing like a lunatic as he cavorts about in the chilly water.
Subaru just looks at them with wide, disbelieving eyes, clearly expressing his feeling that he’s the only one who hasn’t been affected by the moon and taken leave of his senses.
“Come on Subaru!” calls Hina. “You can either take your clothes off and get in here of your own accord, or...”
“Oi oi!” Subaru protests, then sighs. There’s no way he can avoid getting wet, so he starts to take off his clothes with exaggerated reluctance, but even as he does, Hina and Yoko are rushing him from the sea, and as soon as he’s got everything off they grab him underarms and by the ankles and haul him off into the water.
He shrieks, to let them know how much he’s suffering, but it just makes them laugh, and he guesses that’s alright too. He makes sure he dunks them all under the water in revenge, but it really is too cold for them all to bear for much longer, and they retire back up the beach, shivering.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” Yasu says, pulling his dry clothes back into his wet body hastily. When he comes back he has four towels that he offers to the others as they sit round the fire.
“How the hell are you so nice?” asks Yoko with a tinge of suspicion. “This isn’t natural!”
“Are you sure you were once a delinquent?” Hina asks.
Yasu laughs. “It’s OK, I just like making people happy if I can,” he says.
“But we can be good citizens without all that, right?” asks Subaru suspiciously. “Or I’m jacking this in, I don’t care...”
Yasu laughs. “I think you’re doing just fine as you are,” he says, and when he smiles at him Subaru feels that fluttering inside him again, that feeling that makes him want his friends to just disappear.
They dry off round the fire, calming down to a mellow mood. Subaru doesn’t even really feel that cold - he hopes that isn’t hypothermia setting in. It’s nice to sit together and just chat, talk about normal life and things back in Osaka and everything he’s been missing. In the dark of the night, Subaru actually feels quite emotional - this feels like it’s an important moment, something he’ll look back on fondly and cherish. He wants to remember everything about it, every feeling, so he can recall it all and smile.
He keeps quiet, letting the others talk around him, and tries his best to swallow what feels suspiciously like a lump in his throat.
When the sky starts to lighten, and the sun finally appears over the sea, Subaru somehow feels like he should salute it in some way. Something in his heart feels like it’s opening in a way he’s never experienced before. It’s quite wonderful, really.
It feels like the winding-down, the coming to a close. Without really even talking about it, they start to get their things together and head back up the beach. Yasu takes his towels back and says his goodbyes.
“It was really good to see you again,” he says to Ryo, and hugs him, even though they’re both still shirtless.
“And I’m glad you’re still alive, man,” says Ryo.
“Come and see us sometime!” offers Hina.
Yasu nods, and his expression looks as though he feels like he should have a good reason to refuse, but he can’t remember what it is.
“I’ll see you soon then,” Subaru says to Yasu, as casually as he can manage, though his tongue feels like a foreign object in his own mouth.
“Yeah,” Yasu agrees, and to Subaru’s relief that’s all he says.
He takes the others back to the inn, sets his alarm for a depressing close time, and crawls under his futon for a nap.
He wakes up feeling cold. It’s a struggle to remove himself from the warmth of his bed, and Sadako is probably going to kill him when she sees the trail of sand across the room and all over the covers. His shower takes longer than usual, as he removes the lingering smell of the sea and salt from his hair, so when he stumbles downstairs, Sadako narrows her eyes at him. He puts on a suitably repentant face, but he knows he’s going to be useless till he can take a nap.
His friends are already downstairs, bags packed - from the blank looks on their faces, he guesses they haven’t slept at all. Sadako is generous, and lets him have his last breakfast with his friends. They’re all tired, and nobody speaks much - it feels like they said goodbye last night, ended everything neatly and perfectly and this is a coda. Subaru feels like his head is completely empty, or maybe full of cotton wool, spacey and strangely calm.
He takes them up to the ferry port and avoids making any jokes with the ticket man about stowing away.
“I’ll see you all soon,” he promises.
“Too soon I’m sure,” says Hina with a grin.
“Good luck with... everything,” Yoko says vaguely, but Subaru knows what he’s implying.
“You too,” Subaru returns, and he makes sure to look Ryo in the eye.
Ryo nods like he gets it. “I’m glad you’re doing well,” he says sincerely.
“Keep in touch, alright?” Subaru says as they board the boat. “I’ll talk to you on Facebook!”
The others laugh, and as soon as they’re on board he waves, once, and heads back to the inn. He’s not going to wait on the harbour alone like an idiot, waving them off.
He’s feeling more awake now, enough to complete his usual chores, and every so often he thinks back fondly over the past couple of weeks. And then immediately remembers the next thing he has to do, and it makes a nervous little thrill run down his spine. He keeps going, but as soon as he sits down he feels exhausted, feels his eyes unfocussing as he spaces out.
Sadako rolls her eyes at him, and nods in the direction of the staircase. Excused, he gratefully heaves himself up the stairs and crawls once again under his futon.
TBC
But they don’t say anything. Subaru guesses he has Sadako’s judicious distribution of drinks to thank for that. He has a few more himself, to, in the hope of eliminating any tell-tale behaviour, or at least giving himself an excuse. No-one says anything, but is Yoko eyeing him curiously? He just can’t tell any more. Even if he is thinking something, in his sharp little mind, he surely wouldn’t be so audacious as to say anything, would he?
He doesn’t, but Subaru never quite shakes the jumpy feeling, even though he has fun. He goes to bed feeling a lot of affection for his friends, but also still those nerves, that... anticipation, that feeling of waiting for something to happen.
He sleeps lightly, and when he wakes up he feels like it was part of another life. How can this be happening to him, and how can he be so eagerly waiting for it?
“So,” he asks his friends after breakfast. “How much longer do you guys think you’ll be staying?”
They laugh, and Subaru feels his cheeks heat up in embarrassment and paranoia.
“You want to get rid of us now, huh? Now we came to your birthday party,” teases Hina. “We’d hate to outstay our welcome!”
“No you wouldn’t,” says Subaru with a scowl. He knows his friends would delight in making his life more awkward if they can. “But don’t you guys have grown-up responsibilities now? Shouldn’t you get back to your jobs and girlfriends and all that?”
Hina sighs. “Yeah, you’re right,” he agrees. “But aren’t you glad we like you enough to stick around this long?”
Subaru guesses he is. He definitely is, but he won’t say so, not straight out like that. They’d really think there was something wrong if he started talking like that out of nowhere.
“I suppose we’ll head off in a day or two then,” Hina says, looking round at the others. They nod in agreement. Subaru guesses it will have to do, but he knows it’ll be tough for him to not seem impatient. He doesn’t want them to leave, but he wishes they weren’t here. He just has to get this sorted out. Then... life can resume.
He wishes he could at least try and avoid prolonged contact with his friends over the next few days, but Sadako doesn’t even provide him with as many chores as usual, obviously sparing him so he can make the most of the last of his time with them. Which would be very lovely of her, and of course he wants to spend time with them - he knows he’ll regret it when they’ve gone, if he doesn’t. But he knows he’s not very good at keeping up a facade of normalcy, particularly when they all insist on going out to the inn and hanging out with Yasu, and every time one of them looks at him he feels like they’re probing, scrutinising, putting two and two together.
So at least he’s prepared when Yoko, kindly accompanying him to the shop for dinner supplies, oh-so-casually says, “Well, I’m glad you’ve got a friend here, anyway.”
Subaru is on high alert. “Yeah, Yasu’s a good guy,” he says stiffly.
“Yeah. What are the chances of you finding someone you have so much in common with all the way out here?” Yoko goes on, innocently enough.
“Yeah,” agrees Subaru, still feeling guarded.
“So it’s just been the two of you, out here, all this time...” Yoko muses.
Subaru eyes him. “There’ve been quite a few guests visiting too,” he says. He wishes he was better at keeping his tone level. “I’ve met quite a few people who I’d never have met otherwise. Foreigners even!”
Yoko looks impressed. “Wow, you have developed,” he says with a grin.
Subaru frowns. One thing that hasn’t changed, he doesn’t like to be mocked. “I’ll be back soon,” he says, with a hint of warning.
Yoko arches a brow. “You’re not thinking of staying even longer?” he says. “You seem to have settled in so well.”
Subaru stares at him. “You’ve got to be kidding me! For the past 9 months I’ve thought of nothing but escaping from here!”
Yoko giggles at the passion of his exclamation. “But then poor young Yasu will be all alone again.”
Subaru doesn’t know what to say to that. He knows it, and when he thinks about it, full face-on, he doesn’t like it. “He’s been alone here all this time, it’s his choice,” he mutters.
“Yeah, but before now he’d never had a friend like you, right?” Yoko responds right away. “He obviously values you a lot. Look at all the stuff he got you for your birthday.”
Ahh, of course that wouldn’t have gone unnoticed. “He’s just a generous guy!” Subaru says, his exasperation starting to slip out. “I don’t think he’s trying to bribe me into staying!” He hadn’t even actually considered that before.
Yoko is quiet for a moment. “So you don’t think he’s...” He leans closer. “That way?”
Subaru could’ve guessed it was coming, but he still doesn’t know how to respond. He calls on all his experience of lying and deceit and keeping up facades to say, “Well, I can’t say it hasn’t occurred to me,” hoping that’s enough for Yoko without betraying Yasu too much. He doesn’t think he’d mind these guys knowing. Not enough for it to be a huge deal, anyway.
“So... do you think maybe he has a thing for you?” He nudges Subaru conspiratorially, with a naughty-schoolboy smirk.
Subaru snorts. “After the stuff I’ve done while I’ve been here? Not likely.” It could easily be true. And until he talked to Yasu last night, he definitely thought it was.
Yoko just looks at him sideways. “But if he did?” he persists. “That wouldn’t bother you? You’re pretty calm about it,” he says with a tinge of surprise.
“Like you said,” Subaru says levelly, “I’ve developed.”
Yoko drops it, but Subaru knows he isn’t convinced. Once he has an idea in his head, it’s hard to dislodge - it’s very frustrating when he’s wrong, but even worse when he’s right.
He almost dreads being around the others again, just in case Yoko brings it up to try and catch him out or have them gang up on him or something, so he’s quite amazed when Yoko says, “So, guys, are you ready to go in the morning?”
“Oh, we’re going in the morning now?” Hina asks.
“Well, might as well,” Yoko says. “I think we’ve exhausted the entertainment here really. And I miss my brothers! I hope they haven’t wrecked up the house without me.”
“You don’t have to rush off, really,” Subaru says, mainly because he doesn’t want to give Yoko any hint that he might be onto something.
“No, he’s right, we should go,” agrees Ryo. “We’d hate to outstay our welcome. Or start being taken for granted,” he adds with a grin.
Subaru smiles. “Yeah, I’m gonna miss having you guys around to scrub the bath with me,” he says wryly. He’s grateful to them really, both for leaving now, and for coming in thefirst place, and staying so long, even though this place holds little attraction, even for reformed delinquents leading gentle, sedate lives. “I tell you what, let’s get a few beers and go down to the beach tonight. Then you can sleep on the way back!”
The others nod, clearly persuaded by Subaru’s suggestion. He wonders belatedly what Sadako will make of this plan, and contemplates not letting her know about it at all, at least not before the event, but in the end he thinks he’d better use his new found maturity and responsibility, and own up, at least that he’s going out this evening.
She nods, but at the same time asks, “When are you going to be back?”
It’s as if she knows. “I’m not sure,” he admits. If that changes her mind, what will Subaru do? Sneak out anyway, like he always would’ve as a kid, or accept the disappointment like a grown-up?
As it happens, Sadako just tuts a little and rolls her eyes. “Just don’t drown yourself, or anyone else,” she warns, even though he hasn’t mentioned going to the beach at all. Subaru basks in the warm, pleasing feeling of being trusted - it really does feel good if you earn it, he reflects, not for the first time. And it’s good to know that he actually doesn’t intend to betray her trust, either. He can do it! This is a potential temptation, certainly, but he’s confident he can keep control.
Whether he can fully control his friends is another matter, but they’re not his problem. He only has to bear Sadako’s words in mind - anything else, they can take care of themselves. It’s not about being wild and crazy tonight though, it’s about having a nice time with his friends who he doesn’t know when he’ll see again. That’s a thought that brings him back down to earth, despite his eagerness for them to leave for other reasons, and the others must see his bittersweet mood, because they do their best to keep the atmosphere light and jolly. Yasu has brought his guitar and Ryo is persuaded to sing and play with him. They’re actually pretty good, and Subaru feels something of a competitive urge rise in him, he wants to sing with Yasu too! He tries not to look at Yasu too much as he sings, or he knows he’ll blush and stutter, but they sound good together. The others clap when they’re done, and Yasu smiles shyly at him, and Subaru’s heart does an odd little skip in his chest.
They light a little fire, and even though the temperature is dropping in the dark, Hina decides to take his shirt off, as he quite often does, and Yasu takes that as an invitation to join in and do the same. Subaru is glad it’s dark now, so no-one can see his discomfort. He’s not sure where to look.
After a few more beers, Hina has lost more than just his shirt, and takes off running towards the waves. He screeches as he throws himself into the water, but that doesn’t stop him.
“Yes Hina-chan, we know you’re a real man!” Yoko calls from beside the fire, as if he’s talking to a simpleton. “We could see that before you went in the water,” he giggles like a schoolboy.
Yasu looks at Subaru quizzically, but Subaru shakes his head. He doesn’t want Yasu getting any ideas about his friends. Yasu smiles, but then the smile becomes a grin, and he’s taking off his shorts too and running for the water, stumbling and falling into the waves as Hina laughs gleefully. It must look like such fun that Yoko soon joins in, and even Ryo, who Subaru was sure he could rely on to just stare scornfully at them with him, succumbs, laughing like a lunatic as he cavorts about in the chilly water.
Subaru just looks at them with wide, disbelieving eyes, clearly expressing his feeling that he’s the only one who hasn’t been affected by the moon and taken leave of his senses.
“Come on Subaru!” calls Hina. “You can either take your clothes off and get in here of your own accord, or...”
“Oi oi!” Subaru protests, then sighs. There’s no way he can avoid getting wet, so he starts to take off his clothes with exaggerated reluctance, but even as he does, Hina and Yoko are rushing him from the sea, and as soon as he’s got everything off they grab him underarms and by the ankles and haul him off into the water.
He shrieks, to let them know how much he’s suffering, but it just makes them laugh, and he guesses that’s alright too. He makes sure he dunks them all under the water in revenge, but it really is too cold for them all to bear for much longer, and they retire back up the beach, shivering.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” Yasu says, pulling his dry clothes back into his wet body hastily. When he comes back he has four towels that he offers to the others as they sit round the fire.
“How the hell are you so nice?” asks Yoko with a tinge of suspicion. “This isn’t natural!”
“Are you sure you were once a delinquent?” Hina asks.
Yasu laughs. “It’s OK, I just like making people happy if I can,” he says.
“But we can be good citizens without all that, right?” asks Subaru suspiciously. “Or I’m jacking this in, I don’t care...”
Yasu laughs. “I think you’re doing just fine as you are,” he says, and when he smiles at him Subaru feels that fluttering inside him again, that feeling that makes him want his friends to just disappear.
They dry off round the fire, calming down to a mellow mood. Subaru doesn’t even really feel that cold - he hopes that isn’t hypothermia setting in. It’s nice to sit together and just chat, talk about normal life and things back in Osaka and everything he’s been missing. In the dark of the night, Subaru actually feels quite emotional - this feels like it’s an important moment, something he’ll look back on fondly and cherish. He wants to remember everything about it, every feeling, so he can recall it all and smile.
He keeps quiet, letting the others talk around him, and tries his best to swallow what feels suspiciously like a lump in his throat.
When the sky starts to lighten, and the sun finally appears over the sea, Subaru somehow feels like he should salute it in some way. Something in his heart feels like it’s opening in a way he’s never experienced before. It’s quite wonderful, really.
It feels like the winding-down, the coming to a close. Without really even talking about it, they start to get their things together and head back up the beach. Yasu takes his towels back and says his goodbyes.
“It was really good to see you again,” he says to Ryo, and hugs him, even though they’re both still shirtless.
“And I’m glad you’re still alive, man,” says Ryo.
“Come and see us sometime!” offers Hina.
Yasu nods, and his expression looks as though he feels like he should have a good reason to refuse, but he can’t remember what it is.
“I’ll see you soon then,” Subaru says to Yasu, as casually as he can manage, though his tongue feels like a foreign object in his own mouth.
“Yeah,” Yasu agrees, and to Subaru’s relief that’s all he says.
He takes the others back to the inn, sets his alarm for a depressing close time, and crawls under his futon for a nap.
He wakes up feeling cold. It’s a struggle to remove himself from the warmth of his bed, and Sadako is probably going to kill him when she sees the trail of sand across the room and all over the covers. His shower takes longer than usual, as he removes the lingering smell of the sea and salt from his hair, so when he stumbles downstairs, Sadako narrows her eyes at him. He puts on a suitably repentant face, but he knows he’s going to be useless till he can take a nap.
His friends are already downstairs, bags packed - from the blank looks on their faces, he guesses they haven’t slept at all. Sadako is generous, and lets him have his last breakfast with his friends. They’re all tired, and nobody speaks much - it feels like they said goodbye last night, ended everything neatly and perfectly and this is a coda. Subaru feels like his head is completely empty, or maybe full of cotton wool, spacey and strangely calm.
He takes them up to the ferry port and avoids making any jokes with the ticket man about stowing away.
“I’ll see you all soon,” he promises.
“Too soon I’m sure,” says Hina with a grin.
“Good luck with... everything,” Yoko says vaguely, but Subaru knows what he’s implying.
“You too,” Subaru returns, and he makes sure to look Ryo in the eye.
Ryo nods like he gets it. “I’m glad you’re doing well,” he says sincerely.
“Keep in touch, alright?” Subaru says as they board the boat. “I’ll talk to you on Facebook!”
The others laugh, and as soon as they’re on board he waves, once, and heads back to the inn. He’s not going to wait on the harbour alone like an idiot, waving them off.
He’s feeling more awake now, enough to complete his usual chores, and every so often he thinks back fondly over the past couple of weeks. And then immediately remembers the next thing he has to do, and it makes a nervous little thrill run down his spine. He keeps going, but as soon as he sits down he feels exhausted, feels his eyes unfocussing as he spaces out.
Sadako rolls her eyes at him, and nods in the direction of the staircase. Excused, he gratefully heaves himself up the stairs and crawls once again under his futon.
TBC