(no subject)
The Best Laid Plans
SHINee - Onkey
1166 words; NC-17
It's not about a lack of control, because they know exactly what they're doing.
Jinki wants to say that it was something they couldn’t control, that it had just kind of happened, and they didn’t know how or why, but that would be a lie. They know exactly how it happened. They crossed each boundary together, took every step even with the knowledge that they were treading on dangerous territory, that the ground could fall out from beneath them at any moment.
That one night they watched a movie together a little after debut-Minho and Taemin had gone to bed early and Jonghyun had locked himself up in a room with his lyrics notebook and the keyboard-was the very first time. They watched Dawn of the Dead with shared covers pulled up to their chins-half the time over their eyes-and huddled closer and closer with each brutal, gory death, until their arms and thighs were pressed together. Jinki turned his face away from the television and toward Kibum when the chainsaw began ripping through the girl, and saw Kibum doing the same. One of Kibum’s legs was already practically on top of his. Kibum’s eyes gleamed from the reflection of the television even in the dark as he watched Jinki, his lips parted, like he wanted Jinki to, so it wasn’t that much of a stretch for Jinki to surge the rest of the way in to press their mouths together. Kibum made a little noise that was something like surprise, something like yes, God, finally, and then his fingers curled into Jinki’s shirt and pulled him closer. His mouth opened, his tongue warm and slick against Jinki’s own. In the background, another zombie’s head got blown off with a shotgun.
That was the start, but Jinki isn’t sure when it actually began-the furtive glances, the held breaths, the lingering of a hand. He can’t even remember a time anymore when he looked at Kibum and didn’t feel that embarrassing want that made his palms sweat and his ears burn. Like it had always been there, crawling under his skin and taking root before Jinki had even put a name to it.
They were always, always careful. Jinki beamed at everyone, paid attention to everyone. Made bad jokes, laughed at his own ridiculous mistakes. Kibum flirted outrageously with Jonghyun, fussed over Taemin, struggled to get a reaction out of Minho, ignored Jinki. Let Jonghyun or Minho help Jinki up if he fell. Pulled Jinki into an empty room during dance practice breaks, even though they were both dirty and sweaty and tired, and crushed their lips together, hands pushing up the back of Jinki’s shirt, sliding all over his slick skin. Bit down on the shell of Jinki’s ear, licked the sweat from his collarbone.
No one knew-not the fans, their stylists, their managers, their friends, not even the other members. Not even Jonghyun, who arguably understood Kibum better than anyone. They smiled at interviewers and said that they didn’t know what being in a relationship was like. It was only a half-lie, really.
“I-I think about you all the time,” Jinki confessed one time he was jerking Kibum off in a supply closet, “I did even before anything happened. All the time.” He wasn’t sure if Kibum heard him, because Kibum came a few seconds later, his eyes snapping open to stare up at the ceiling, wide and glassy, his legs trembling.
“I do too,” Kibum breathed a few days later, when they were scrambling to undo each other’s belts, trying to get something, anything before Jonghyun, Minho, and Taemin came home, “I did too. Fuck, hyung.” He slid his hand into Jinki’s jeans, palming his erection through his boxer shorts, and Jinki dropped his forehead to Kibum’s shoulder, panting.
It was easy to slip up, like the time Jinki made the mistake of glancing at Kibum’s reflection in the mirror during dance practice. Kibum’s eyes were dark and intense with concentration as he watched himself in the mirror. It was the exact same look he had on his face five days before when they were in a bathroom stall during a Starry Night recording, with his leg hooked around the back of Jinki’s thigh, their clothed hips rocking together. The memory sent Jinki stumbling into Minho, who caught him with a practiced arm, and he didn’t look at Kibum anymore during practice after that.
“I- T-tell me if I’m doing something wrong,” Jinki said, glancing up at Kibum. The younger boy’s head was tipped back, eyes closed, his chest rising and falling with shallow pants. Jinki parted his lips and slowly slid Kibum’s cock into his mouth, careful not to scrape it with his teeth. There was a choking noise somewhere above him.
“Shit. H-hyung. Hyung,” Kibum murmured, his voice shaking a little, and threaded his fingers through Jinki’s hair. Jinki figured he was doing something right, and continued.
Jinki asked Jungsu for condoms, because he trusted his sunbaenim, trusted that he wouldn’t tell, that he would understand. Jungsu went silent and studied him for several long minutes. Jinki didn’t dare meet his eyes, afraid that if he did, Jungsu would somehow know everything. Jungsu finally agreed, and handed Jinki a small box several days later. “Here, Jinki-yah,” he said quietly, his eyes serious, “Please be careful.” He didn’t ask who it was. Jinki kept the box under his bed, wadded up in an old T-shirt and stuffed into a container full of personal belongings that the other members never touched.
Kibum was the one who got the lube, though he wouldn’t tell Jinki how or from where. Jinki wondered if he’d bought it during one of his shopping trips, if he’d somehow ducked into a convenience store and purchased a bottle without anyone noticing who he was.
“Jonghyun is taking Taemin and Minho out shopping tomorrow,” Kibum said casually one time during dinner, almost two weeks after Jungsu had handed Jinki the box. “Just letting you know so you don’t freak out and wonder where they’ve gone.”
“Jonghyun hyung says he’ll buy me a new pair of sneakers,” Taemin added, and beamed when Jonghyun groaned about how he was already starting to regret his decision. Kibum locked eyes with Jinki for a split second, then moved to spoon more rice onto Taemin’s plate.
“Oh,” Jinki said, his throat suddenly dry, and swallowed. Realized he was already half-hard, and gripped the edge of his wooden chair. “Oh, okay.”
And right now, as Jinki sits on the edge of his bed, his feet planted flat against the wooden floor, and Kibum lowers himself slowly onto his cock, his short, hitched gasps coming in warm puffs of air against Jinki’s cheek, they know exactly what they’re doing. And they know they’re going to get caught one day, and everything will probably be fucked up forever, but until then-Kibum presses his hands against Jinki’s shoulder blades, lifts himself up a little, then sinks back down, letting out a soft whimper, and Jinki moans into Kibum’s neck-Jinki really doesn’t think they can stop.
*****
A/N: ........ Oh God, I still can't believe I wrote this. DDDDD: *crawls into a hole* I've never written porn before, and always planned on never writing porn, like, ever. Idek how this happened. Never again, oh God. It was so hard for me to write this. ;__;
Much thanks to noelliex for all the help and input! Ilu for putting up with me and my wailing. ♥
SHINee - Onkey
1166 words; NC-17
It's not about a lack of control, because they know exactly what they're doing.
Jinki wants to say that it was something they couldn’t control, that it had just kind of happened, and they didn’t know how or why, but that would be a lie. They know exactly how it happened. They crossed each boundary together, took every step even with the knowledge that they were treading on dangerous territory, that the ground could fall out from beneath them at any moment.
That one night they watched a movie together a little after debut-Minho and Taemin had gone to bed early and Jonghyun had locked himself up in a room with his lyrics notebook and the keyboard-was the very first time. They watched Dawn of the Dead with shared covers pulled up to their chins-half the time over their eyes-and huddled closer and closer with each brutal, gory death, until their arms and thighs were pressed together. Jinki turned his face away from the television and toward Kibum when the chainsaw began ripping through the girl, and saw Kibum doing the same. One of Kibum’s legs was already practically on top of his. Kibum’s eyes gleamed from the reflection of the television even in the dark as he watched Jinki, his lips parted, like he wanted Jinki to, so it wasn’t that much of a stretch for Jinki to surge the rest of the way in to press their mouths together. Kibum made a little noise that was something like surprise, something like yes, God, finally, and then his fingers curled into Jinki’s shirt and pulled him closer. His mouth opened, his tongue warm and slick against Jinki’s own. In the background, another zombie’s head got blown off with a shotgun.
That was the start, but Jinki isn’t sure when it actually began-the furtive glances, the held breaths, the lingering of a hand. He can’t even remember a time anymore when he looked at Kibum and didn’t feel that embarrassing want that made his palms sweat and his ears burn. Like it had always been there, crawling under his skin and taking root before Jinki had even put a name to it.
They were always, always careful. Jinki beamed at everyone, paid attention to everyone. Made bad jokes, laughed at his own ridiculous mistakes. Kibum flirted outrageously with Jonghyun, fussed over Taemin, struggled to get a reaction out of Minho, ignored Jinki. Let Jonghyun or Minho help Jinki up if he fell. Pulled Jinki into an empty room during dance practice breaks, even though they were both dirty and sweaty and tired, and crushed their lips together, hands pushing up the back of Jinki’s shirt, sliding all over his slick skin. Bit down on the shell of Jinki’s ear, licked the sweat from his collarbone.
No one knew-not the fans, their stylists, their managers, their friends, not even the other members. Not even Jonghyun, who arguably understood Kibum better than anyone. They smiled at interviewers and said that they didn’t know what being in a relationship was like. It was only a half-lie, really.
“I-I think about you all the time,” Jinki confessed one time he was jerking Kibum off in a supply closet, “I did even before anything happened. All the time.” He wasn’t sure if Kibum heard him, because Kibum came a few seconds later, his eyes snapping open to stare up at the ceiling, wide and glassy, his legs trembling.
“I do too,” Kibum breathed a few days later, when they were scrambling to undo each other’s belts, trying to get something, anything before Jonghyun, Minho, and Taemin came home, “I did too. Fuck, hyung.” He slid his hand into Jinki’s jeans, palming his erection through his boxer shorts, and Jinki dropped his forehead to Kibum’s shoulder, panting.
It was easy to slip up, like the time Jinki made the mistake of glancing at Kibum’s reflection in the mirror during dance practice. Kibum’s eyes were dark and intense with concentration as he watched himself in the mirror. It was the exact same look he had on his face five days before when they were in a bathroom stall during a Starry Night recording, with his leg hooked around the back of Jinki’s thigh, their clothed hips rocking together. The memory sent Jinki stumbling into Minho, who caught him with a practiced arm, and he didn’t look at Kibum anymore during practice after that.
“I- T-tell me if I’m doing something wrong,” Jinki said, glancing up at Kibum. The younger boy’s head was tipped back, eyes closed, his chest rising and falling with shallow pants. Jinki parted his lips and slowly slid Kibum’s cock into his mouth, careful not to scrape it with his teeth. There was a choking noise somewhere above him.
“Shit. H-hyung. Hyung,” Kibum murmured, his voice shaking a little, and threaded his fingers through Jinki’s hair. Jinki figured he was doing something right, and continued.
Jinki asked Jungsu for condoms, because he trusted his sunbaenim, trusted that he wouldn’t tell, that he would understand. Jungsu went silent and studied him for several long minutes. Jinki didn’t dare meet his eyes, afraid that if he did, Jungsu would somehow know everything. Jungsu finally agreed, and handed Jinki a small box several days later. “Here, Jinki-yah,” he said quietly, his eyes serious, “Please be careful.” He didn’t ask who it was. Jinki kept the box under his bed, wadded up in an old T-shirt and stuffed into a container full of personal belongings that the other members never touched.
Kibum was the one who got the lube, though he wouldn’t tell Jinki how or from where. Jinki wondered if he’d bought it during one of his shopping trips, if he’d somehow ducked into a convenience store and purchased a bottle without anyone noticing who he was.
“Jonghyun is taking Taemin and Minho out shopping tomorrow,” Kibum said casually one time during dinner, almost two weeks after Jungsu had handed Jinki the box. “Just letting you know so you don’t freak out and wonder where they’ve gone.”
“Jonghyun hyung says he’ll buy me a new pair of sneakers,” Taemin added, and beamed when Jonghyun groaned about how he was already starting to regret his decision. Kibum locked eyes with Jinki for a split second, then moved to spoon more rice onto Taemin’s plate.
“Oh,” Jinki said, his throat suddenly dry, and swallowed. Realized he was already half-hard, and gripped the edge of his wooden chair. “Oh, okay.”
And right now, as Jinki sits on the edge of his bed, his feet planted flat against the wooden floor, and Kibum lowers himself slowly onto his cock, his short, hitched gasps coming in warm puffs of air against Jinki’s cheek, they know exactly what they’re doing. And they know they’re going to get caught one day, and everything will probably be fucked up forever, but until then-Kibum presses his hands against Jinki’s shoulder blades, lifts himself up a little, then sinks back down, letting out a soft whimper, and Jinki moans into Kibum’s neck-Jinki really doesn’t think they can stop.
*****
A/N: ........ Oh God, I still can't believe I wrote this. DDDDD: *crawls into a hole* I've never written porn before, and always planned on never writing porn, like, ever. Idek how this happened. Never again, oh God. It was so hard for me to write this. ;__;
Much thanks to noelliex for all the help and input! Ilu for putting up with me and my wailing. ♥