(Untitled)

[tristan_donovan]

I'm having sort of a tough time with something

Comments

[deepfryerfire]

I've always been a fundamentally masculine person, and after my partner started transitioning, I spent a stupid and fruitless couple of months trying to be 'the girl'. See, prior to him telling me, I always figured us for being basically the same sort of critter- guyish, but not exactly male, and no way in hell standard-issue female. So, when he brought up his need to transition, it wasn't real surprising, but I kind of felt like his being able to step over the line into male... meant that I was now stuck back in female by comparison. Like I had been living my life in expatriate decadence over in Manland, but suddenly found my passport revoked and my butt deported back to the country of my birth

[ichbinkelsey]

I can't quite speak to the first part of your concern, but I do understand the pressure of wanting to compliment your partner's 'boyness' by taking on a certain level of 'girlness'. In my case, a lot of the pressure was internal--my partner could care less one way or another, and I think that skirts and heels make him nervous, anyway. For me, at least, it was definitely a product of the early part of our relationship and passed pretty quickly, although it's a dynamic that I like and so still try to play up from time to time. If you're feeling like that, give it some time, and eventually you'll settle back into being just you and not some cartoon version of you.

I think your problem in part two is that you're thinking 'ftm' is a lot like 'very butch girl', when, post-medical transition anyway, 'ftm' is actually a lot more like 'that guy who was your seventh grade math teacher' and pretty much not like 'girl' (of any sort) at all.