Something that others have not mebntioned is that some people have reactions to general anaesthesia that can take longer than expected to taper off. It can get read or interpreted as depression, so be aware of that.
Then, again, for some guys, there can be a delayed sort of "let down" after surgery. For many guys, it takes a long time to save up for and obtain chest surgery. After that, there can be a sense of "now what?" In those cases, it usually works to be in contact with peers.
As far as fitting in in the Boston community, there are a bunch of couples like you - the visible tg folks are, well, visible. But the regular, just going about business people are here too.
We've been through 2 major surgeries (non-gender related) so far, so we have some sense of what to expect in the anaesthesia dept, but it's a good point. More worried about the let down and the lack of peers who've been through this.
Thanks for the reassurance on the Boston front -- I guess it's like me with new moms groups: once you have it together as a mom, you don't need to go any more, and you just make friends with other mostly-together moms. Except it's (often) easier to tell who's a mom...
Lack of peers? Most of the guys on the Compass list are pretty gender normative - not all, of course, but for every visible gender queer or early transition twenty-something, there are a handful more of guys just living their lives.
The [non-physical] emotional aftereffects can sneak up on a guy. It is not uncommon for there to be a plateau, which after all the buildup of getting top surgery, can feel like a big empty space. Also - the surgery is the peak of the mountain - healing is the traveling down the other side. (I will leave it here - aside from the sudden discovery for some guys of a hitherto unseen belly!) Good luck.
Sounds a bit like my partner (also FTM). A bit of our back ground is he was my first g/f (I came out when I was 53) (now 59) he was stone butch when I met him then about six months later he decided to trans... We had a lot of problems mainly because he couldn't understanf why I still wanted to ID as lesbian. He too was high maintance as he was wheelchair bound and was taking what I thoght a lot of medications. He had at the time a 14yr old daughter also. But after a few breakups we are now back together and have been for about 4yrs we don't live together but he lives up the road from me. I'm not sure if this would apply to all ftms but I know after his op (top surgery) he was up here getting over the op (his breasts were 1.7kgs each) and got up one morning and chopped some wood for me (mind you he had never swung an axe in his life)I think this was 5weeks after his op. Btw he transed in his 40s.
He will recover way quicker than either of you imagined. BUT, don't let him carry ANYTHING heavy for as long as the Doc says. This is very important for his permanent results-- if he does move too quickly or carry heavy things, the tissue will not heal correctly and he will have saggage in his tetas. My FTM partner was doing everything by himself the next day. Just tired, but completely self-sufficient. And he was high-maintenance too.
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Then, again, for some guys, there can be a delayed sort of "let down" after surgery. For many guys, it takes a long time to save up for and obtain chest surgery. After that, there can be a sense of "now what?" In those cases, it usually works to be in contact with peers.
As far as fitting in in the Boston community, there are a bunch of couples like you - the visible tg folks are, well, visible. But the regular, just going about business people are here too.
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Thanks for the reassurance on the Boston front -- I guess it's like me with new moms groups: once you have it together as a mom, you don't need to go any more, and you just make friends with other mostly-together moms. Except it's (often) easier to tell who's a mom...
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The [non-physical] emotional aftereffects can sneak up on a guy. It is not uncommon for there to be a plateau, which after all the buildup of getting top surgery, can feel like a big empty space. Also - the surgery is the peak of the mountain - healing is the traveling down the other side. (I will leave it here - aside from the sudden discovery for some guys of a hitherto unseen belly!) Good luck.
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A bit of our back ground is he was my first g/f (I came out when I was 53) (now 59) he was stone butch when I met him then about six months later he decided to trans...
We had a lot of problems mainly because he couldn't understanf why I still wanted to ID as lesbian.
He too was high maintance as he was wheelchair bound and was taking what I thoght a lot of medications.
He had at the time a 14yr old daughter also.
But after a few breakups we are now back together and have been for about 4yrs we don't live together but he lives up the road from me.
I'm not sure if this would apply to all ftms but I know after his op (top surgery) he was up here getting over the op (his breasts were 1.7kgs each) and got up one morning and chopped some wood for me (mind you he had never swung an axe in his life)I think this was 5weeks after his op.
Btw he transed in his 40s.
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