I wish I knew when your heart died....

[partyarty25]

I wish I weren't the kind of person that wants everyone to like me, because I've already failed. Derrick and I had the weirdest relationship for about a year. We quasi dated until he got scared, but like a yo yo, he just kept bouncing back. He did so until he cut his own string

Comments

[extra_smooth]

i do that with relationships and sometimes friendships where i think theyre my best friend. i always analyze and im thinking how did it go from great to how it is right now?

[scoobyxsnacks]

Just by reading that.. i know how you feel. Ive been that kind of situation before wanting to know something but pushing it because your heart tells you to keep pushing, but they just ignore every word you say. You're moving to LA soon? I say just keep your head up and dont let anything get you down. You've tried to make amends and that's the best you can do.
-xxoo-
p.s - hope you dont mind me posting =]

[gc83]

I guess i used to be the same i wanted everyone to like me...well not like, just to not hate me, unless it was for a really good reason.

But i guess some people you just cant get to like you and although it hurts you have to say that's fine as there are many many others who do like me. And everyone has people who don't like them. Gandhi, Jesus, Martin Luther King jr, Mother Teresa, Princess Diana, The Pope, Allah, Winston Churchill, The Queen, Nelson Mandela. They all have people who dislike and even hate them...and if they cant get everyone to like them then it's very doubtful if anyone else can.

Anyhow if everyone liked you it wouldn't be so special when you do make new friends.

*ahem* sorry i kinda went off one then..it seemed to make sense to me.

But best thing you can do is forget about it and think of all the new people your going to meet in LA. And you seem a really nice person, so it's his loss. You just keep focusing on being true to yourself and being happy and you will soon attract more people who do really like you.

[morpheus814]

Apathy is definately more painful than anger and hatred. I am so sorry, Arty (for your feelings of pain and for my next statement because it is not very comforting). A harsh reality comes into my mind here.
Just forget that you were ever friends with Derrick to begin with. This is pursuit of any kind of unrequited relationship (even platonic) is self destructive. You are about to move on with your life. Look to that.
Don't worry about people liking/not liking you. You are going to find in life that you are going to have plenty of both.

<3

:-*

*hugz*

blast from the past

[biga31]

Guess you should have thought a little more about who loved you and who didn't.

Re: blast from the past

[partyarty25]

Anthony, I don't think my problem was deciding on who loved me and who didn't but rather did I love myself. I had and still have a lot of questions to answer in my life. I may have hurt a lot of hearts in my journey, but the one I've hurt the most is my own. I haven't broken my silence with you for a long time, but I'm not cold hearted...you've seen it bleed. I just don't know what you want from me. When you said you were just my friend, I know you harbored deep feelings for me (and I was in your shoes at the same time with derrick so I knew your pain). It was as if God was trying to show me both sides of the coin...I tried understanding them both but it was too hard. You got hurt, I got hurt but the truth is... we are all volunteers in life. We volunteered to put ourselves out there. It's what people do. Sometimes it pays off...sometimes it doesn't. I'm not honestly sure what needs or should be said but I hope that life is treating you well. I won't forget all the nice things you've done for me or all those crazy nights

Re: blast from the past

[biga31]

Arty, I'm sorry but I just can't respond to anything you wrote. I have closed that door for the most part and I am afraid to do anything that might reopen it. The hurt is still there but I have been only successful recently at hiding it. I don't want to do anything to change that. I don't wish you any harm or malice, but you hurt me, whether intentional or unintentional. You know that I feel that you are not the person you made yourself out to be to me, and above everything else, all I ever asked of you was to be honest with me, and as usual even in your response now, you speak of yourself. I'm sorry - I should have never even looked at your LJ much less commented anything, but I came across a Christmas card you gave me and it opened that closed door just a crack. Well, I have to close it back tight. I can't have anything to do with you, Arty. It's not good for me, and it has no affect on you. I'm sorry but you just don't know me anymore. I have to remain strong about the fact that I cut you out of my life. As I said, I

Re: blast from the past

[biga31]

By the way, I did want to say that I am sorry to hear about your parents' divorce. That sucks.