i'm excited for you to start something new in your life soon. i know what it feels like to be surrounded by 'best friends' that don't even know you; i know what it feels like to be so frustrated with not having anyone to talk to that you feel trapped inside yourself, alone, and more insane then ever; i know what it feels like to want to get away; and i know what it feels like when all you can think about is that if people only knew the half of it, they'd think twice before saying you 'complain too much.' it's really hard to remain apathetic to the fact that sometimes, you are going to be the only one that will understand you, and no matter what people think they know about you.. they don't. so when they call you 'selfish,' they're really just taking a shot in the dark.. and even though this person is a "best friend," they can only make judgements on the bits and pieces of yourself that you chose to let them get close to.. because they can only know as much about you as you bring to the surface, and no matter how many fake smiles you
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i am here for you always; i love you to death and i hope your know that.. you're going to learn a lot this fall, and next year.. be very excited!! find people you can relate to, make friendships deeper then trips to the mall and movie dates.. and MOST OF ALL, try to find a piece of yourself in everyone that you hold close to your heart.. because when life shits on you, your heart is going to need some solid help to keep it pumping... but more importantly, when life is at it's ABSOLUTE best, if your heart is surrounded by people you love, you will be amazed at how much healthier you feel, how much happier you feel, & how much more clear the beauty in EVERYTHING becomes.. you are going to learn so much next year, [aside from textbooks, bleh] you're going to learn more about yourself then you probably ever thought possble.. you will realize that 'if it doesn't matter now, then it never really did,' and what used to be fake smiles will soon become real.. the day you realize you are no longer in a room full of dead relationships and
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this year i taught myself how to find something to love in everything, good times, great times, hard times, and really fucking shitty times.. it wasn't easy to hold on to the good in the terrible, but getting out of brewster helped me more than i ever thought it would. i've always wanted to get out of here, but right before i left i got really scared and the fact that that only constant my life had ever known was this town and these people, and i was certain that leaving was the ONLY thing i didn't want to do. but once i left, i just felt so free, i was finally out of the town i didn't belong in, away from the people that didn't know me.. i was free to by myself, and start over, and introduce myself raw to this new life. getting out of brewster taught me that nothing lasts forever and no matter how many times you say things will never change.. YOU'RE WRONG, if things never changed, life would have no reason to keep cycling.. nothing would be spontaneous and who would want a thing like that? embrace spontaneity and learn to take it as
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i think i'm more excited for you than you are.. haha, next year your life will be ALL YOURS.. make it a good one, live the good life.. find people you can confide in, it will help you grow, and after an entire highschool career of bottled emotions and feeling alone.. you will feel 2093825 times better. MAKE LOVE TO THE PRESENT! and enjoy every fucking minute of it!!!
iiii loveee you, anddd i can't wait to have fun at your prom after party, because i'll be there.. loving the fact that i can come back to this god forsaken town and find people i love being around! WHEEEE!!!
o and i hope you enojoyed this novel of a comment. i think i meant to just type, "don't let people get to you" ahahaha.. 2 hours later... you better come away with something after reading this [or atleast just pretend i make sense, it'll make me feel like less of a crazyperson]
it was supposed to be ONE comment, butttt livejournal couldn't handle it, bitches said i talk too much so i had to break it up. hahhaa.. please don't hate me for vommitting all over your comment section.
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iiii loveee you, anddd i can't wait to have fun at your prom after party, because i'll be there.. loving the fact that i can come back to this god forsaken town and find people i love being around! WHEEEE!!!
o and i hope you enojoyed this novel of a comment. i think i meant to just type, "don't let people get to you" ahahaha.. 2 hours later... you better come away with something after reading this [or atleast just pretend i make sense, it'll make me feel like less of a crazyperson]
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