2PM | boy band manual
boy band manual;
(2PM) bandfic, nichkhun/wooyoung
r, humor
a day in the life of.
Boy Band Manual
thank you for purchasing the Boy Band Manual! here are some helpful hints to guide you and your team members along the path to success.
helpful hint #004 a safe and refreshing morning keeps everyone energized and ready go.
Halfway through Jaebeom's second cup of coffee, there's a minor accident in the room across the kitchen.
Wooyoung staggers out and hits the wall opposite from the door.
"GUYS, I THINK I'M BLIND," he says.
Taecyeon licks his thumb and flips over to the next page in the newspaper. "Try opening your eyes," he suggests.
Wooyoung blinks away the sudden white dots in his vision.
"Hey," he beams, "hey, it worked."
helpful hint #025 take care of personal hygiene.
Chansung farts in the enclosed space of the minivan on their way to the next stage performance.
"Oh, gross," Nichkhun complains, gagging.
"What, so you don't have bodily functions like the rest of us do?" Chansung says by a way of an explanation.
Junsu rolls down the window and sticks out his tongue. He turns back in time to see the universal what-the-fuck expression plastered on Jaebeom's face.
"I don't know. I could kind of taste it," Junsu says, smacking his lips.
helpful hint #009 respect personal and physical boundaries - and remember, use condoms.
"Ahh! Wooyoung!"
"Nichkhun! I want your come inside me I want it harder I love you NICHKHUN!"
"That is the opposite of okay," Junho says.
Taecyeon plugs in his earbuds and continues reading. "Someone's been reading LiveJournal," Chansung comments, not taking his eyes off of the computer monitor.
Junsu leans into the screen, frowning. "Why am I never in fanfiction," he says sadly.
"WOOYOUNG! YES!"
"I think I threw up a little," Junho groans.
Jaebeom kicks the wall. "LOUD NOISES," he bellows.
helpful hint #074 if you are suddenly having an identity crisis, call your local emergency therapist.
"Oh my god," Jaebeom mutters, curling into a fetal ball position under the blanket. "What is this. I can't even."
"It's called metamorphosis," Taecyeon says kindly, petting the side of his head.
"Why is this happening to me."
"Sleep," Taecyeon shushes, jerking his head at the rest of the band nodding sympathetically in the doorway.
He's come out of the closet, Taecyeon mouths.
helpful hint #042 always have a list of topic starters in hand, in case the conversation gets awkward.
"I like your legs," Wooyoung says as they're taking board games out of the closet.
Jaebeom blinks. "Thank you?"
"Even if," Wooyoung says, almost on the verge of tears, "even if you could be a Christmas elf, and-"
"Wooyoung?"
"-I've always wanted to ask you something."
Jaebeom moves towards the door. "Yeah?"
"What time do they open?" Wooyoung asks, shiny-eyed.
"Wooyoung, I think you need to sit down," Taecyeon says gently.
"And, um-"
"No, that's enough," Jaebeom says firmly, maneuvering Wooyoung to the couch by his elbow.
Junho walks in, beaming. "Hey, Scrabble."
helpful hint #013 never play truth or dare with your bandmates.
"I dyed Jaebeom hyung's underwear purple."
"I ate all of Chansung's candy last Wednesday."
"I'm gay." Nichkhun pauses. "But I hope that's not obvious or anything."
"Guys," Junsu sighs, stretched out on the couch. Chansung rips out pieces of tissue and places them on his face. "You're ruining the point of playing truth or dare," he mutters, white tissue fluttering on the tip of his nose.
"The point was team bonding experience," Jaebeom explains, exasperated.
"I like this game," Wooyoung says. "You would," Junho snorts.
Wooyoung points at Junho. "Could you put on some pants, please."
"I could, but I won't," Junho sniffs, rolling over. "I approve of this dare, thanks."
helpful hint #001 the most important thing is to have fun.
"I can't do this anymore," Jaebeom says. He gives everyone a swift glare, lingering on Taecyeon. "You be leader. I give up."
"But!" Wooyoung gasps, running made very difficult in schoolgirl uniform and matching dress shoes. "You can't leave, we need you!"
"Tell the Hottests I'm waiting for the controversy to die down or something," Jaebeom instructs, slinging a pre-packed bag over his shoulder. "Taecyeon knows my blog password. Post a letter up in apology."
Junho straightens the frilly bra clasped carefully around the front of his shirt. "I don't know, is this a good idea?"
"Look in a mirror. Think about it," Jaebeom says.
Chansung's plaid skirt rides dangerously close to uncharted waters. "Have fun on vacation," he calls.
Jaebeom flips him the bird and disappears around the corner.
...one WIP done, six more to go Q___Q