01 - We're Not In Wonderland Anymore, Toto

[passthetophat]

We pan in on our hero, Hatter, in his home in 915 Bilko Boulevard. By now, he's been awake for approximately six minutes, staring at the ceiling. No, he wasn't slowly waking from a groggy sleep, comfy in his bunny slippers as he realized he wasn't in his office

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[hauptschuss]

[Have some very accented giggling on the other end of the phone.]

[passthetophat]

...erm. Hello?

[hauptschuss]

[The heavily German accented voice sounds very chipper.]

Hello~

[passthetophat]

Hello.

Not to be rude or anythin', but having just woken up in crazy town, your laughing is creepier than a bag of hammers.

Who are you?

[evers_hacker]

[Ohai Hatter, here comes your not!wife limping down the stairs with her walking stick, now wide awake after hearing you run around. When she spots him, she just blinks before looking at a nearby family picture hanging on the wall, letting out a "Hm." of understanding. When she turns back to him, she gives him a smile that is part reassuring and part awkward/flustered.]

Ah, take it you just got here then? Um...h-has anyone over the phone filled you in on what's going on?

[passthetophat]

Oh, awesome, it was the chick he woke up with. He's wide eyed for a minute as he contemplates how to try and let her down gently that he doesn't want to bang her and have six kids. Her words, though, catch him a little off guard.

"Erm, No. There was this nutter on the phone, can't really remember what she said, but it was along the lines of them taking my clothes and a swimming pool."

So, he's a little flustered, and his natural defense is to take it all with humor, but the joke is said in a flat, deadpan tone.

"Listen, it's not that you aren't pretty, but if you could send me back home, that'd be wonderful, I've got a tea shop to run."

[evers_hacker]

[Asdfasdf, ohgodhethoughtSHEbroughthimhere shiiiit. Watch as she gets flustered and flails and tries to explain everything.]

W-w-what? Ack, n-no, I wasn't the one who brought you here! Hell, I was in the same boat a few days ago when I-I woke up next to a complete stranger as well. Apparently everyone in this town is stuck here a-a-a-and-

[Her stuttering gets bad to the point where she decides to just stop talking for the moment and instead hands him a 'family' photo of them with their drone not!kids; her face is now nearly as red as her hair.]

Um...whoever brought us here took all our stuff and abilities and just randomly put us into f-'families' like in the picture. It's h-happened to everyone stuck in this town.

[passthetophat]

He begins to feel bad for her, and a little guilty at himself for accusing her, so he strides forward and puts a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Easy, there, love, I didn't mean to accuse you. I'm just trying to figure out what's going on here, so I can get back home."

He's got a sincere look in his eyes, but it's wiped away with confusion as he takes the photo from her. He's silent for a moment as he stares at it.

"Well, we look good. Never been much of a kid person, though. Are we supposed to take care of them? What exactly is the point?" He glanced down one side of the street, then the other. "Don't see any fences, ever thought about maybe just leavin'?"

[hourai_branch]

[Waves]

[passthetophat]

Blinks. Waves back.

[hourai_branch]

Are you new here?

[passthetophat]

Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.

[I SHOULD HAVE LOOKED HERE SOONER. AHHHH.]

[not_oflegend]

[And Alice just happened to be out for a walk around town, she she tended to do now when she had a lot on her mind. She's wearing one of the dresses from her Mayfield closet, so of course, looking very 50's housewife. However she is wearing the coat that Hatter had lent to her in Wonderland.

She's halfway down Bilko Boulevard when she spots Hatter and stops dead in her tracks. She's imagining him, right?]

Hatter?

IT'S TOTALLY COOL MAN I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME XD

[passthetophat]

He was about to turn and go inside, to get out of his white and blue pinstriped PJ's. His mind focused and his face was that of silent, determined concentration, but as soon as he heard his name being called, it was completely wiped and replaced with a look of wide-eyed surprise.

He whips around, and it still takes him a second to process.

"...Alice!?"

I'm glad YOU came. ;____;

[not_oflegend]

[Okay, so she wasn't imagining it. She just hoped Mayfield wasn't playing some new, cruel trick on her.

Without warning she ran at him, and wrapped her arms around him as she was known to do.]

Hatter! You're really here.

wibble ;~; bawww

[passthetophat]

He picked her up without even realizing it, spinning her around once. Mayfield was temporarily forgotten, damn the place, it couldn't be that bad if it presented him with this.

He pulled her back, holding her by the elbows at arm's length.

"What are you doin' here, you're supposed to be home,"

[thatsnotaknife]

[Happened to be walking down the street at this exact moment yay. Sympathises with the Hatter.] Bastard's will've buggered off with it, mate, sorry. [Nods at him.]

[passthetophat]

Hatter gives an annoyed sound, and is about a second away from stomping his feet in his tantrum.

"Bastards is right, they can have my clothes and dignity, but really, the hat?"

[thatsnotaknife]

S'like the straw that broke the camels back, for fucks sake. S'not like it's just a normal hat, either.

[passthetophat]

"Exactly! That was my hat, that was a fantastic hat! That was Hatter's hat, I-" He paused, narrowing his eyes. "Wait. How do you know about my hat?"