Precipitation: Sasuke/Sakura

Apr 24, 2008 19:38

Fandom: Naruto
Characters: Sasuke & Sakura
Genre: Angst/Romance



Not many people liked the rain… but Sasuke did. There was something about the sound that it made that soothed him, whether it was the rhythmic pitter-patter of the tiny droplets against the soft wet ground during a drizzle or the tumultuous outcry of the heavy droplets during a storm. Most people relied on photographs to remind them of the highlights of their lives, but he was different… he was always different. Uchiha Sasuke's memories were not held by photographs, they were held by each tiny droplet that fell from the sky.

There was a time when he viewed the rain as something of a wonder. It never rained much in Konoha so when it did, the kids would come out and play. He remembered that he was a cheerful kid. Sure, lessons about grace and politeness had been drummed into him; he was part of a prestigious clan, after all. But they never really sunk into his brain. He was not like his brother, always proper and always solemn. He wanted to be but he just couldn’t, much to his father’s dismay. He lacked the silent power that his brother radiated. He was awkward when it came to adopting that higher-than-thou manner. He was crass and childish and it was always hard for him to suppress a smile, especially when so many things could evoke it… like his mother’s onigiri, for example. And so, though he tried very hard to sit still and meditate on the front porch just as his brother was doing, he just couldn’t. The rain looked too inviting. Besides, the sound of the other children’s laughter was wafting towards the compound and though they were wary of him and his august lineage discouraged him to socialize with any of their sort, he still liked to live and laugh like them, if only for a while. And so, he had given up the serious expression and his new slippers and played in the rain and mud like all children were supposed to. Unfortunately, he went too far with the ‘fun’ thing and accidentally fell into the lake. It was a horrible thing - drowning. Though he was young back then, he never forgot how he felt like his lungs were getting crushed and his body was getting heavy. He screamed and screamed but nobody came. Finally, when all hope seemed lost, Itachi came and rescued him. When he got home, his mother was extremely worried and his father was furious. His adventure had cost him a reprimand and a beating but he tried to be brave all throughout the whole ordeal because his new-found hero was watching… and he did not want to look bad in front of Itachi.

Time passed and he had gotten better at being like Itachi. He was more serious and he was more determined than ever. He had developed an extreme desire to please his father, just as his brother always seemed to. However, there were things happening inside the Uchiha compound that his young self could not understand. He knew that there was a large rift forming between his father and his brother and that because of it, his father was paying more attention to him for a change. He had lapped up the attention like a thirsty dog. But that was all he knew. When news came that one of his cousins had drowned - a suicide, they said - and that his other relatives were suspecting his brother, he knew that something was really wrong. There was also that weird Sharingan that his brother sported - he had never seen one like that before. Everything was just so confusing but he figured that it really didn’t matter much. Things would right themselves eventually - little did he know how wrong he was. Contrary to what others believed, the most painful day in his life was not the night of the massacre. No, it was the day afterwards. The day of the massacre still held hope - flimsy and weak - but it was there. There was the remote possibility that everything was just a dream and that when he woke up the next day, everything would be back to normal. He should have known better, being let down was infinitely more painful. Waking up in the hospital and feeling the dull and throbbing pain on his left arm was like getting plunged head first into a bucket of ice water. But still, he felt the need to confirm things. And, like a masochist, he went back to his home, grimly noting the yellow police tapes, the torn tapestries, and the broken pots. Finally, he went to his house and saw the chalked outlines of his parents’ bodies. He knew that what had happened was not a dream and that he was not still dreaming - each piercing droplet a testament to the cold and bitter truth. He wished it would stop raining.

When he was but a young adolescent, his feelings towards the rain had not changed. He still hated it - among with many other things. He was an insufferable boy back then - hateful, arrogant, rude, mean, rebellious… traitorous. And it was on the day of his full betrayal that it had rained. He had just come out victorious from a fight with his rival and all he needed to do was plunge a kunai into his best friend’s heart to gain an enormous power that would enable him to get his revenge. There really wasn’t anything more to it. It was either this or failure. And his revenge was just too important for him. The boy would just have to be a casualty, unlucky enough to stand on the path of Sasuke and his revenge. It had rained then, as if the sky was crying for two of the most scarred and battered souls in Konoha - one who would die and one who would become a murderer. Still, when things came down to it, he found that his bonds were too strong for him to actually go through with the deed. His teammates, annoying as they were, had wormed their way into his heart. And in the end, he had not killed the boy. Instead, he had made new path where there was none - It was harder but he would not become his brother.

The next years for him were rather dry. Oto was always a gloomy place with its arid climate and dead trees and air that stunk of decay. It was there that he had grown strong but with a price. He had desecrated his body with drugs and surgeries and he had trained to the point of pure exhaustion, often passing out from fatigue. Oto was a depressing place, the very air seemed to suffocate him and strangle him. If his nights were relatively dreamless in Konoha, they were plagued with nightmares in Oto. But he had not complained because those nightmares fueled his hate - and that was what his brother said he lacked - hatred. Truth be told, his stay in Oto was something he’d rather have buried in the deepest recesses of his mind. His days there were nothing he cared to remember - much less relive. It was a profane place - Oto. But it was what made him strong. There, he had no ramen after missions, no requests for dates, no wild shenanigans concerning masks and hidden faces… there was no happiness. But it did not matter for he had not expected any. It did not surprise him then, that when he finally mustered the strength to kill Orochimaru, he had emerged from the base to see the once arid plains suffused with the musky scent of rain. It did not comfort him, however, because from his experience, the rain bode ill things.

Traveling with his new teammates had been an experience both pleasant and unpleasant. On one hand, they were all strong and self-sufficient and he had felt nothing for them, so he had not been constantly plagued with worry as when he was with team 7. No, team Hebi was strong; he had picked the members based on their abilities. What he did not count on was their similarity to team 7. Juugo was like Kakashi, with his maturity and wisdom. The two were also the same in terms of hidden demons. Seeing Suigetsu and Karin bicker was like watching Naruto and Sakura all over again, only with a lot of sexual tension. Watching them made him wonder if Naruto had finally succeeded in wooing Sakura and if Sakura had already moved on to someone else. Watching them made him wonder if his former teammates were also slaves to their hormones. He hoped not… why he didn’t want them to be together, he didn’t know… or didn’t want to know. It was torture, his every day reminding him of what he could not have… of what he had to leave behind. Then, one day, while skirting the borders of Konoha, he had felt a droplet of rain on his right arm. He knew it heralded another milestone in his life. And, sure enough, Karin spoke in alarm how they were being pursued by five high-level ninja. He had smiled then, and it had confused Suigetsu, who had looked at him with a brow raised. It was not long afterwards when he heard someone screaming ‘Teme’ from behind him. It was quite a dramatic reunion, complete with tears and curses and shocking realizations that the little girl in their team had grown into a beautiful woman. The encounter had cost him some lost time. But he and his team had gotten out unscathed. He could not say the same for his replacement on team 7 though. He found out that Naruto and Sakura did not have any sexual tension in their bickering… but he found that he could not say the same for Sakura and his replacement. Unreasonably, he felt betrayed and he had taken out his frustrations on the said boy. Juugo saw through his jealous fit though, and he had the sinking feeling that Kakashi had seen through it too, if that knowing look was any indication.

The weather was gray and gloomy, the clouds heavy with precipitation that had yet to fall. Sasuke took one look at the bleak sky and thought about how apt it was… the rain always was privy to his most important moments. It was only right that it would rain on the culmination of his revenge… his destiny… the one moment which his whole life had led to. He and his brother had been staring each other for the past few moments, each taking in the gravity of the whole situation. The first droplet that had reached the ground was like a gunshot that announced the start of a race. The final battle had just begun. It was a flurry of kunai and shuriken. It was a difficult battle. The two shinobi were of the highest rank, and their fracas was like a dance between devils. Both sustained heavy injuries but in the end, the younger one won. There were no important revelations about the murder of the elite Uchiha clan, nor were there final taunts that would leave doubts for days on end. It was almost anti-climactic, how the older Uchiha prodigy died. But still, it left an indelible mark on the younger ones subconscious. The rain had not let up and the scorching fires of the Amaterasu jutsu looked eerie blazing even under the tumultuous rain. Sasuke remembered telling Sakura that he knew that he would not gain any happiness by killing his brother. He was not lying then. He really did know. But the knowledge did little to prepare him for the utter emptiness that he had felt… an emptiness that had drained from him all his will to live. In the end, he had lain down just a few meters away from his brother’s corpse, letting his life bleed away, as his brother’s had. It was an eerie sight, their blood intermingled with the rain and pooling in the cracks and crevices on the damp ground. He remembered feeling cold, his life slowly ebbing away. The last thing he could remember before closing his eyes fully shut was a flash of pink and the familiar wracking sobs of a girl he knew well.

When he woke up to the steady beeping of a monitor, the acrid stench of alcohol, and the white washed and almost sterile walls… he knew he was in a hospital. And sure enough, his former teammate was there waiting. He had weakly called her name and she had responded with more tears and, much to his surprise, several admonishments. She had disentangled herself from him moments later with an apology and an ‘I’m just so glad that you’re finally home’. And ironically, he found himself being fed apples that were just as meticulously sliced to perfection as they were six years prior. He looked outside the window to see that it was still drizzling slightly. He had not thought about what he would do after his revenge, he had always assumed that he would die from it. But there he was, alive and kicking, if only slightly fatigued. As it was, he was glad that the choice was made for him… he would at least have a place to live whilst figuring out what to do with his life and what was left of it.

The next few months of his return were uneventful. The Hokage had pardoned him for he had not really done any real crimes during his defection and had actually rid Konoha of three of its biggest enemies. He was ostracized by the people, though, and he was once again reminded of how silent the world fell when one was alone. Even children shunned him. He was baffled by this and opted to ask Sakura about the queer reaction of the children. She had answered with a laugh and a story about how Sasuke’s old home came to be known as ‘haunted’. Their generation at least had memories of people living there. This new generation knew nothing of the Uchiha except that it was the name of the haunted part of the town. And Sasuke, who naturally went back to his own home, was viewed as the ‘weirdo’ who lived in a haunted house.

His teammates, he found out, were busy with their careers. Naruto had become a jounin and was now teaching his own three students. Sakura was a medic nin who spent most of her days in the hospital. They went out for ramen a few times a week but that was really all they saw of each other. Sai went with them sometimes too and as much as he disliked the guy, he realized that the socially inept ninja had also found his place in team 7 and that there was nothing he could do to change that. Also, to Sasuke’s dismay, he had found out that he really didn’t know what it was that he liked to do. Being an avenger was a full-time job and so he never really had any time for hobbies. But with the culmination of his revenge, he found that he had too much time on his hands. He didn’t know what things he did well except for fighting, so he once again took up the life of a shinobi, donning his forehead protector with pride and a slight amount of shame. It was not long before he was inducted into ANBU. His life had then become a series of S-class missions and top secret assassinations. His job left him with little time to think and that was the way he liked it… thinking opened up too many raw wounds.

Still, missions only left him with a temporary sense of purpose. When his missions ended, so too did his reason for living. And for him, life was just a matter of waiting for the next one while trying to avoid thinking of ending his worthless existence. That the last member of the Uchiha clan would commit suicide would not do well for their already tattered reputation. Sakura and Naruto had no inkling that he had such self-mutilating thoughts. All they could see was that he had fallen into the habit of drinking and smoking… which really wasn’t helping the Uchiha reputation either… but was absolutely essential in helping him get through his days until his next mission. They had pestered him about it but they seemed to attribute it all to the stress of being in ANBU. He had made no move to correct them. His plan had backfired, though, when he found that Naruto had asked the new Hokage, who was incidentally their former teacher, to give him a vacation. So, amidst futile protests and angry rants, Sasuke had gotten a paid leave. And so, with a lot of time once again in his hands, he found himself looking for other things to keep him occupied. If he continued with the drinking, his chances of getting back to work as soon as possible were severely compromised. Smoking, on the other hand, he could not and would not give up. Apparently, Sakura sensed his boredom and had also applied for a leave to keep him company. Sasuke was not blind and could plainly see that the girl still felt for him, albeit it was a more subdued form of love. She no longer asked him out for dates and she no longer lathered him with praises. Instead, she had taken care of him… brought him groceries and tended to his wounds. He was thankful for her company but that never really stopped him from being rude to her, old habits did die hard, after all. But she seemed to take no offense at his rudeness and had seemingly accepted it as simply part of his personality. And for that, he was doubly thankful. On the last day of his vacation, he had woken up to the smell of eggs and bacon. He had hurried to the kitchen, wary that someone had broken into his house. But when he saw Sakura in a frilly pink apron and holding a frying pan, his worries were assuaged. And, somewhere in between the ‘Ohayo, Sasuke-kun’ and the ‘Did you sleep well?’, he realized that he wouldn’t mind waking up to this sight every morning. And suddenly, his vacation seemed too short for his liking. Sure enough, there was a slight drizzle that day.

Proposing to Sakura was an easy matter. He was never the shy type. And so, he had blurted it out matter-of-factly one day that she should marry him. He was walking her home from the hospital and their silence was comfortable. Sakura had no longer found the need to chatter incessantly about mundane things and it was a sure sign of her maturity. She was still a chatterbox, but it was no longer forced like it was during their childhood years. The rain had started pouring and she had taken out an umbrella. His proposal was not very romantic. In fact, he had said it rather monotonously and rather emotionlessly. And he had spoken a bit faster than he would have liked. But apparently, it was enough to shock Sakura into stopping her tracks, her umbrella dangling limply from her hands. He had stopped too, to see how she was faring. And when he saw how a myriad of emotions were passing and fleeting from her face, among them were happiness, worry, and confusion, he started to get scared. Maybe he had not planned it carefully… maybe he had misread the signs… maybe she did not like him… maybe she would say ‘No’. And so, with the most pleading and pathetic expression he could muster and lowering his pride as much as he could, he muttered a small ‘please?’. It bruised his ego but it got the job done. The umbrella that Sakura was holding was aptly discarded and left on the ground forgotten, and he was swept into a crushing hug which he took as a ‘yes’. They had kissed then, a kiss full of need and relief and… maybe… love. And he had whispered a small ‘thank you’, surprised at how much he really meant it. He was also surprised at how… happy… he had felt then… and he was saddened at how unaccustomed he was to that much-pursued emotion. And so right there, standing under the falling rain, he mused that it would not matter much anyway, because he had a feeling that from then on, he’d have a lifetime to grow accustomed to it again.

Their wedding day was gray and wet… but he did not mind. Sakura seemed to mind a lot, though. Later, he would find out when they were walking towards the Uchiha mansion, that Sakura had several misgivings and that she felt as if she really was inside a horror movie when she saw how scary the Uchiha mansion looked with the gray sky as its backdrop. He had felt a bit indignant at her inappropriate and disrespectful comment towards the Uchiha. However, when night came and it was all sweat and heat and moans and grunts, he found that he really didn’t mind. And it was in the afterglow of their coupling, when he was listening to the dripping of the rain on their window sill, that he had realized that he finally found something he liked to do… a hobby, perhaps. Fondly, he pulled the warm body of the sleeping woman beside him closer. And with an uncharacteristic small smile gracing his lips, he thought about how he would indulge in this new hobby again tomorrow, and the day after that, and probably the day after that too… and he was happy.

But even after that, his life was still not peaches and cream. As a matter of fact, he still had to go through hurdle after hurdle of problems. His job at ANBU stopped being his solace the moment his new wife came into his life. And it became a downright pain when his wife got pregnant and he found that he was away too frequently. It was on a particularly hard mission - an assassination - that he noticed that the rain was pouring hard once again. He and his team were already heading back to Konoha and they were surprised when he seemed to become anxious for no reason. He paid them no heed, leaving the lot of them behind as he sprinted towards Konoha at a breakneck speed. His limbs ached when he reached the hospital but he had gotten there in time. He was soaked from head to toe and his boots were dripping with mud. The nurse had outright refused to let him into the delivery room but he only had to glare at her to get her to move aside. He was beside himself with worry when he heard the doctor and his best friend’s wife, Uzumaki Hinata, that Sakura had lost too much blood. The baby boy was fine but the same couldn’t be said for Sakura. It was on that dark and stormy night when he learned to pray.

After that incident with Sakura, he wished that he would never have to go back to the hospital. The place had traumatized him enough. But he never had much luck and so, he once again found himself pacing the sterile corridors when his son had been admitted due to chakra exhaustion. His wife was beside herself with grief and flat out refused to talk to him. It was his fault, after all, that Takumi had trained himself to the point of extreme fatigue. He always did have such high expectations. He looked towards the bench and saw that his daughter, Ayumi, was sitting beside his youngest son, Shun, and that she was trying to get the boy to stop crying. The sound of the boy’s crying was starting to get on his nerves and so, he ordered his daughter to take the boy home. His daughter had protested and said that they wanted to wait and see if Takumi, the eldest, was okay. He had snapped at her and told her not to disobey because he was her father. The girl, who had inherited her mother’s temper, had narrowed her eyes and shouted back at him, ‘Then act like one, you bastard!’. Her retort was sobering. It was like a slap on the cheek. He was a horrible father. Nonetheless, the girl obeyed and went home despite the downpour of rain. When they were out of sight, he broke down, slumping against the wall and burying his face in his hands. Sakura was beside him in an instant, giving him a look full of understanding and forgiveness before pulling him into a comforting hug. Things got better after that. Takumi recovered, Ayumi had apologized for answering back, and Sasuke apologized for being a bad father, and Shun seemed to open up more to him. He lowered his expectations and made a resolve to not be like his father. There would not be another Itachi nor another Sasuke… the Uchiha’s would not just recover their former glory, they would surpass it.

“Otousan, you’re spacing out again!”

“Ayumi, be a bit more respectful towards your father!”

“Aww, Takumi-oniisan, he doesn’t mind… right Otousan?”

“Hn.”

“Whatever… anyway, I just came to tell you guys that I’m going to go to Naruto-ojisan’s place today.”

“Our little Takumi is growing up fast, neh, Sasuke-kun? I think he’s taking a liking towards Naruto’s daughter, Kumiko-chan.”

“Okaasan!!”

“Takumi likes Kumiko! Takumi likes Kumiko!!”

“Stop being a pain, Shun!”

“Ah, but you’re not denying it, are you, Takumi-oniisan.”

“Shut up Ayumi!”

“If you’re going to marry her, Takumi, be quick about it, I want the Uchiha clan rebuilt as soon as possible. Just make sure that she’s not as stupid as her father. We don't want to pollute the gene pool any more than your mother has with her pink hair.”

“Otousan!!”

"Sasuke-kun!!"

It was on days like this one when Sasuke could really sit back and reflect on how much has changed in his life. He was no longer the hate-filled youth who fervently wished for the rain to stop. He had come to terms with everything in his life… never forgetting what it was that he had lost, forgiving the most grievous sin done to him, and cherishing those that he had to be thankful for. He had no regrets. And so here he was, an old man at 53, graying streaks of hair betraying his age, content to just watch the rain falling. After all, he had experienced a lot of things and he knew enough now to understand that when it rains, the best thing the one can do is to just let it rain. Not many people liked the rain… but Sasuke did.

pairing: sasuke/sakura, series: naruto, category: angst

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