[2PM | 020.] like o, like h in your gut
like o, like h in your gut
nichkhun/wooyoung
pg
[in sum]: nichkhun has a goal for the day. wooyoung wants to share this one feeling. everything will go as planned.
written way back when. title is from a tegan and sara song :)
like o, like h in your gut
it's morning and it's time. nichkhun waits patiently at the kitchen table with his hands folded in his lap. he's already gone to the hair salon and his make-up is done.
one by one, the other members wake up and gawk at him.
"where are you going so early in the morning?" asks taecyeon.
taecyeon's dark circles are like no other and nichkhun opens his mouth to tell him this. except now the blanket lumps on the living room floor are slowly starting to move like writhing earthworms on a too rainy day.
"chansung's up" says taecyeon in his groggy voice. "but i bet woodong won't be up until an hour later. we had a late drama set yesterday."
taecyeon ends his statement with a yawn instead of an emphatic eyebrow wiggle like he's wont to do. taecyeon disappears into the bathroom. but when the blankets part and a figure stands to stretch so much that his pajamas ride up to reveal white belly skin, nichkhun realizes that taecyeon's wrong.
"morning" mumbles wooyoung. but there's a smile on his face. nichkhun's lips get heavier, harder to part.
still, he's nichkhun after all. he manages a smile in return.
"good morning."
junho comes bustling into the kitchen.
"hyung, why are you up so early? did you make breakfast? did you have a schedule?"
nichkhun soothes the slight competitive drive in junho by shaking his head.
"didn't make breakfast yet."
there's a sigh from junsu's mouth.
"man, i'm so hungry though!"
junho beams.
"don't worry. i have cereal!"
taecyeon groans, but junho doesn't notice and wooyoung jabs taecyeon in the ribs in time. there are no more complaints. ("brown rice. bulgogi. and green peppers" is on taecyeon's tongue for the rest of the day like a chant.)
nichkhun says that he's not hungry. but instead of leaving the table, he watches as wooyoung eats.
crunch.
chatter.
crunch.
chatter.
smile.
question.
crunch.
"hey"
wooyoung looks up after downing the remaining milk in the bowl.
"do you have some time? i wanna talk."
§
there's this bounce in wooyoung's step as nichkhun leads them to the veranda. and it gets harder for nichkhun's throat to open up and do the talking that needs to be done.
"hey, you know something?" wooyoung small-talks. "i got praised by the director yesterday. he said i was getting better and better at acting."
there's a wide toothy smile on wooyoung's face. radiant and beautiful.
nichkhun chokes on his own spittle. and before he knows it, wooyoung's patting his back as he coughs violently.
"hey, you okay?"
wooyoung's face has gone from happy to worried in 5 seconds flat. nichkhun's conscious breathes a sigh of relief. his throat opens up a bit. perhaps he can talk now.
when nichkhun straightens, wooyoung has him by the elbows. wooyoung's grip is gentle but firm. there's a searching look in wooyoung's eyes that leads to nichkhun making this embarrassingly high pitched giggle.
"it's now or never" thinks nichkhun. so he blurts it out, closes his eyes, and waits.
"i think i love you. i'm scared. but i'm tired of waiting."
the silence pressures his eardrums until finally, nichkhun opens his eyes.
"and i can't take it anymore" whispers nichkhun.
he presses his lips to wooyoung's and closes his eyes again. but all he feels is a tightly pursed mouth and a stiff expression.
he decides that he must do all in his power not to cry in front of wooyoung when the kiss is over.
§
§
§
for his last birthday, his older sister had given him a journal.
"write down your feelings. or your dreams. it's for you. even has a lock."
wooyoung had laughed, asking, "am i some kind of girl with a diary?"
living with five other boys has him cherishing all the privacy he can get. and wooyoung's outlet becomes that little book of blank pages. complete with a lock to which only wooyoung has the key.
it's some time around four in the morning, when he's dead beat tired after filming for dream high. he gets this feeling in his chest. it's something he can't describe exactly right. he's been trying, but he's never quite managed to jot it down in his journal.
"today" he decides. "today is the day i figure this out."
it's like a puzzle and a statement about his creative soul, so wooyoung definitely must solve this. the pencil lead gets poised above the fresh page. wooyoung closes his eyes and tries to relive the emotion.
his chest starts feeling fuzzy inside. like his heart is melting, no, disintegrating. yes, disintegrating into this warm and melting goo. his breathing becomes shallow and it's like he's getting sleepy, but not quite. if he was a cat, he'd want to purr. his eyelids droop because everything feels so damn good.
"what is it?" wooyoung wonders.
he falls asleep to the feeling, clutching his pencil, but not forgetting to lock the journal beforehand.
§
"falling asleep to that wonderful feeling is the best" thinks wooyoung.
he feels refreshed in the morning and he's in a good mood. his smile widens when he sees that nichkhun has also been productive in the morning. junho also pulls out the cereal for breakfast. one of wooyoung's favorites.
with each crunch, wooyoung's mood gets lighter and lighter. if there's one heavy thing in his life right now, it's nichkhun, who's sitting there at the table looking like a marble statue.
so when nichkhun wants to talk, privately, wooyoung tries his best to spread his happy virus to nichkhun as well.
"relay that feeling" is wooyoung's plan. but he can't really tell nichkhun about that indescribable feeling of his nor can wooyoung ever tell anyone about his diary. ever. so wooyoung starts with an anecdote about one of his happy moments.
"surely everyone has experienced this feeling" thinks wooyoung. but he's not so sure he's getting across to nichkhun. wooyoung can tell because, though he's not really listening to what nichkhun is saying, nichkhun's hands are clenched and his upper lip is smooshing into his lower one. this can only mean that...
a thought pops into wooyoung's head: "why is nichkhun hyung nervous right now?"
nichkhun chokes. the coughing makes it seem like nichkhun can barely breathe.
and right after that, wooyoung has an epiphany: that indescribable feeling is linked to nichkhun.
wooyoung has only a few seconds to process this fact before nichkhun's lips come crashing into his.
one blink. two, then three.
nichkhun's lips are still warm on wooyoung's. the emotion becomes a wave and nearly knocks wooyoung over. so he pulls back. stumbles two steps backward.
"sorry" says nichkhun as soon as their lips part. "i'm sorry."
the rims of nichkhun's eyes are red, like he's crying. his fists are still clenched and his eyes are almost concentric circles - a shape wooyoung can never achieve with his own features.
nichkhun turns and walks away. his right fist is furiously wiping at his mouth. wooyoung can tell that much even with nichkhun's back facing him.
wooyoung will run after him. will say something like, "wait. hold on" and "tell me more."
he will stare, wondrously, into nichkhun's eyes and be baffled by how ignorant he's been all this time.
but before wooyoung does anything else, wooyoung feels. and he really feels, as the contents of nichkhun's chest melt in the same way wooyoung's does right now.
nichkhun/wooyoung
pg
[in sum]: nichkhun has a goal for the day. wooyoung wants to share this one feeling. everything will go as planned.
written way back when. title is from a tegan and sara song :)
like o, like h in your gut
it's morning and it's time. nichkhun waits patiently at the kitchen table with his hands folded in his lap. he's already gone to the hair salon and his make-up is done.
one by one, the other members wake up and gawk at him.
"where are you going so early in the morning?" asks taecyeon.
taecyeon's dark circles are like no other and nichkhun opens his mouth to tell him this. except now the blanket lumps on the living room floor are slowly starting to move like writhing earthworms on a too rainy day.
"chansung's up" says taecyeon in his groggy voice. "but i bet woodong won't be up until an hour later. we had a late drama set yesterday."
taecyeon ends his statement with a yawn instead of an emphatic eyebrow wiggle like he's wont to do. taecyeon disappears into the bathroom. but when the blankets part and a figure stands to stretch so much that his pajamas ride up to reveal white belly skin, nichkhun realizes that taecyeon's wrong.
"morning" mumbles wooyoung. but there's a smile on his face. nichkhun's lips get heavier, harder to part.
still, he's nichkhun after all. he manages a smile in return.
"good morning."
junho comes bustling into the kitchen.
"hyung, why are you up so early? did you make breakfast? did you have a schedule?"
nichkhun soothes the slight competitive drive in junho by shaking his head.
"didn't make breakfast yet."
there's a sigh from junsu's mouth.
"man, i'm so hungry though!"
junho beams.
"don't worry. i have cereal!"
taecyeon groans, but junho doesn't notice and wooyoung jabs taecyeon in the ribs in time. there are no more complaints. ("brown rice. bulgogi. and green peppers" is on taecyeon's tongue for the rest of the day like a chant.)
nichkhun says that he's not hungry. but instead of leaving the table, he watches as wooyoung eats.
crunch.
chatter.
crunch.
chatter.
smile.
question.
crunch.
"hey"
wooyoung looks up after downing the remaining milk in the bowl.
"do you have some time? i wanna talk."
§
there's this bounce in wooyoung's step as nichkhun leads them to the veranda. and it gets harder for nichkhun's throat to open up and do the talking that needs to be done.
"hey, you know something?" wooyoung small-talks. "i got praised by the director yesterday. he said i was getting better and better at acting."
there's a wide toothy smile on wooyoung's face. radiant and beautiful.
nichkhun chokes on his own spittle. and before he knows it, wooyoung's patting his back as he coughs violently.
"hey, you okay?"
wooyoung's face has gone from happy to worried in 5 seconds flat. nichkhun's conscious breathes a sigh of relief. his throat opens up a bit. perhaps he can talk now.
when nichkhun straightens, wooyoung has him by the elbows. wooyoung's grip is gentle but firm. there's a searching look in wooyoung's eyes that leads to nichkhun making this embarrassingly high pitched giggle.
"it's now or never" thinks nichkhun. so he blurts it out, closes his eyes, and waits.
"i think i love you. i'm scared. but i'm tired of waiting."
the silence pressures his eardrums until finally, nichkhun opens his eyes.
"and i can't take it anymore" whispers nichkhun.
he presses his lips to wooyoung's and closes his eyes again. but all he feels is a tightly pursed mouth and a stiff expression.
he decides that he must do all in his power not to cry in front of wooyoung when the kiss is over.
§
§
§
for his last birthday, his older sister had given him a journal.
"write down your feelings. or your dreams. it's for you. even has a lock."
wooyoung had laughed, asking, "am i some kind of girl with a diary?"
living with five other boys has him cherishing all the privacy he can get. and wooyoung's outlet becomes that little book of blank pages. complete with a lock to which only wooyoung has the key.
it's some time around four in the morning, when he's dead beat tired after filming for dream high. he gets this feeling in his chest. it's something he can't describe exactly right. he's been trying, but he's never quite managed to jot it down in his journal.
"today" he decides. "today is the day i figure this out."
it's like a puzzle and a statement about his creative soul, so wooyoung definitely must solve this. the pencil lead gets poised above the fresh page. wooyoung closes his eyes and tries to relive the emotion.
his chest starts feeling fuzzy inside. like his heart is melting, no, disintegrating. yes, disintegrating into this warm and melting goo. his breathing becomes shallow and it's like he's getting sleepy, but not quite. if he was a cat, he'd want to purr. his eyelids droop because everything feels so damn good.
"what is it?" wooyoung wonders.
he falls asleep to the feeling, clutching his pencil, but not forgetting to lock the journal beforehand.
§
"falling asleep to that wonderful feeling is the best" thinks wooyoung.
he feels refreshed in the morning and he's in a good mood. his smile widens when he sees that nichkhun has also been productive in the morning. junho also pulls out the cereal for breakfast. one of wooyoung's favorites.
with each crunch, wooyoung's mood gets lighter and lighter. if there's one heavy thing in his life right now, it's nichkhun, who's sitting there at the table looking like a marble statue.
so when nichkhun wants to talk, privately, wooyoung tries his best to spread his happy virus to nichkhun as well.
"relay that feeling" is wooyoung's plan. but he can't really tell nichkhun about that indescribable feeling of his nor can wooyoung ever tell anyone about his diary. ever. so wooyoung starts with an anecdote about one of his happy moments.
"surely everyone has experienced this feeling" thinks wooyoung. but he's not so sure he's getting across to nichkhun. wooyoung can tell because, though he's not really listening to what nichkhun is saying, nichkhun's hands are clenched and his upper lip is smooshing into his lower one. this can only mean that...
a thought pops into wooyoung's head: "why is nichkhun hyung nervous right now?"
nichkhun chokes. the coughing makes it seem like nichkhun can barely breathe.
and right after that, wooyoung has an epiphany: that indescribable feeling is linked to nichkhun.
wooyoung has only a few seconds to process this fact before nichkhun's lips come crashing into his.
one blink. two, then three.
nichkhun's lips are still warm on wooyoung's. the emotion becomes a wave and nearly knocks wooyoung over. so he pulls back. stumbles two steps backward.
"sorry" says nichkhun as soon as their lips part. "i'm sorry."
the rims of nichkhun's eyes are red, like he's crying. his fists are still clenched and his eyes are almost concentric circles - a shape wooyoung can never achieve with his own features.
nichkhun turns and walks away. his right fist is furiously wiping at his mouth. wooyoung can tell that much even with nichkhun's back facing him.
wooyoung will run after him. will say something like, "wait. hold on" and "tell me more."
he will stare, wondrously, into nichkhun's eyes and be baffled by how ignorant he's been all this time.
but before wooyoung does anything else, wooyoung feels. and he really feels, as the contents of nichkhun's chest melt in the same way wooyoung's does right now.