A CM fic from Patch to you all
Title: Safe
Rating: G
Summary: After Revelations, Reid needs to talk.
Disclaimer: I no own *sob*
Warnings: A little bit angsty, some Revelations spoilers
Notes: Written for
2dozenowies, crossposted all over teh internets. P.S. I haven't actually seen said episode yet because I'm in the wrong country, I've only read the transcript, so if it's woefully incorrect in places, you know why.
If you need to talk, you know where I am.
Reid read Emily's text message for the sixth time. He knew where she was - in the hotel room right next to his. The trouble was in getting up the courage to go and see her.
The hospital had been hard enough. Random uniformed officers jostling him for a statement, white-coated doctors shining lights in his eyes and asking him if he was dizzy or nauseous. Plus the rest of the team, whose well-intentioned hovering had overwhelmed him more than anything. Hotch had fussed over him, pleading with him to stay overnight in the hospital despite Reid's insistance that he be allowed to leave. JJ, in contrast with her terrified embrace back at the cornfield, had been guiltily avoiding him, while Garcia had called, breathless with crying, to make sure he was okay. Gideon had exchanged a few words with him, and for a moment the calm, reassuring voice seemed to put everything into focus, but then a nurse had bustled in with his release forms and his head had started spinning again. Morgan, all kind eyes and concern, had tried to talk to him on the way back to the hotel, but Reid had felt too dazed to follow the conversation. Pleading exhaustion, had lapsed into silence, staring out the window while Morgan rubbed his back.
But now, staring around his hotel room, he wished he had taken the opportunity to talk to his friends, rather than shutting them out. Emily had offered. She'd hung back at the hospital, obviously unsure whether she should get involved, being as new to the team as she was. Perhaps it was the shock, perhaps the after-effects of the dilaudid, but all at once, talking to Emily was both the most terrifying idea in the world, and the most appealing. He knew she wouldn't judge or fuss. She'd listen. Which meant he would have to talk.
He took a deep breath and went out into the hallway, knocking softly on Emily's door, and going in before he lost his nerve. Emily, curled up on the bed with a book in her hand, glanced up in surprise. She seemed softer somehow, in her white and navy pyjamas than in her dark suits, her hair slightly unkempt as opposed to neatly combed. Reid began to apologise for intruding.
"Emily, sorry, I didn't mean -" he gestured to the door.
"That's okay," she said, putting her book on the nightstand.
"I can go if -"
"No, stay. Really," she said, motioning for him to sit down beside her. He lowered himself onto the bed and stared at the floor, biting his lower lip. This was going to be harder than he'd thought. He was suddenly very aware of his bare feet and too-big t-shirt, which made him feel even more like a skinny, helpless kid. Emily's eyes never left his face.
"So how are you?" she asked quietly, leaning one elbow back on the pillows.
Reid shrugged. "Okay, I guess. I don't know. I mean it hasn't really sunken in yet. Tobias. Henkel. JJ and those dogs. . . " he trailed off, focusing on a spot on the wall. "I guess I've been thinking a lot, too."
"Not about Tobias?"
Reid shook his head. "No. About my mom, and the vacations she and my dad and I would go on when I was a kid. My dad had a boat, an old fishing trawler he'd restored after buying it from some guy who never used it. Dad fixed it all up - dark wood panellings, brass fittings, sleeping quarters below deck. He called it the Elodie Solene, after a French actress he liked. Mom said it was bad luck to change the name of a boat, but Dad said it didn't count, because it didn't have a name before." Reid smiled as he remembered. "They were so happy back then, before Mom got sick. And being on that boat was my favourite thing in the world."
Emily smiled. "It sounds beautiful," she said. "Does your Dad still have it?"
Reid shook his head again. "He sold it years ago. I kind of wish he hadn't; it's the last place I remember really feeling safe." He took a deep breath and blinked, trying to dispel the tears before they betrayed him. "Mom used to say to me that being on a boat was the easiest thing in the world. "Treat her right and she'll whisper sweet nothings in your ear and gently rock you to sleep."" Reid bit his lip again and was silent. He felt Emily's hand on his wrist as she spoke softly.
"Will I do instead?" she asked.
Reid nodded and leaned into her outstretched arms. He closed his eyes as the tears spilled over, his head on the soft cotton of her pyjama top. Emily's cheek rested on his head, her arms encircling him as she murmured soothingly and gently rubbed his back.
"It's okay now," she whispered, rocking him and stroking his hair back off his forehead. "You're safe."