(no subject)
title let's talk about sex
count 4363
a/n i hope it's not too bad and can keep you entertained for a few minutes!
“And then,” Kibum reads out, “maybe you should try serenading her. From my experience, this always works.”
Minho is slumped over with laughter but Jinki, Jinki is concerned.
“That isn't very helpful at all,” he frowns.
“No shit.” Kibum snorts. “According to the local love guru, when you have a raging hard on and the girl is dry as nori, Brown-eyed Soul is the way to go.”
“Serenade,” Minho gasps, wiping a tear. “I swear Mondays would be unbearable without the sex-ed column. It might even be the only reason I come to school anymore.”
“No, Kibum says patiently, “that's the soccer field.”
Minho toasts him with his root beer. “Well said. Read the next one, come on.”
“Ok.” Kibum clears his throat dramatically. “I find it really hard to stop masturbating. I have no control over it. I've done it everywhere, including in the library’s rare books section. Please tell me how I can knick some brains into my prick!”
“The rare books section?!” Jinki stands up and plucks the paper from his friend’s hands. “That's not funny, this is a serious offense! He reads the rest of the question furiously. “Its anonymous. Fuck.”
“Oh my god, please tell me you weren’t about to report them.” Kibum snatches the paper back and jabs his shoulder. “I know you're student president but even you're not that lame.”
Minho is getting inpatient on the other size of the table if the way his knee is bouncing at ninety miles per hour is any indication.
“Come on, read out the answer!”
“You know,” Jinki ploughs on ignoring him, “I’ve been meaning to track this person down for a few weeks now. Their sex-ed is basically miserable, it’s a wonder we've only had three teen pregnancies this year.”
“We've had three cases of herpes too,” Taemin chimes in cheerfully.
“Why do you even know what that is?” Kibum pulls a face. “I liked you better when you were cute.”
Taemin flips him off and returns to eating a burger the size of his face unperturbed.
“How will you even find them?” Minho says. His eyes are still fixed on the folded up sheet of newspaper in Kibum’s hand.
“I have my ways,” Jinki tries to say, all mysterious smiles and casual shrugs but the loud bell kind of ruins the effect.
“Well kiddos, lunch is over.” Kibum jumps to his feet. “I guess I’ll see you around. And oh, the answer is to think about your parents making you.”
Minho follows him out with a loud gagging noise.
“Hi, Miss Park, can I talk to you for a second?”
The petite English teacher looks up from her desk with a smile. “Yes, of course, Jinki. Take a seat.”
“Thanks but I’m alright. I just wanted to talk to you about something that has been concerning me.”
“Go on.” Miss Park adjusts her glasses before weaving her fingers together and resting her chin on them. Her light brown eyes are kind and patient.
“Well since you’re the chief editor of the school paper and I’m student president I thought I’d discuss this with you. You see, I’m concerned this new sex-ed column in the paper doesn’t really involve a lot of actual… sex-ed?”
Miss Park gives him a smile. “I get why you might feel that, Jinki, but to be honest, I’ve been hesitant to do the column at all.
“Why? I think it’s a great idea!” Jinki says enthusiastically.
“Maybe but it’s not the most age appropriate one? I don’t mean that for the upper classmen but some of the younger students may not be ready to know those things. That’s how Principal Song feels as well.”
“Then we should put that page in only certain grades’ copies. I’m sure we could manage that. We’ve done it to cover grade-specific events. I could talk to Hyun Soo if you’d like?”
“If you think that would better. I trust you’ll to do the right thing.”
“Great! Thank you so much, Miss.”
“Anytime, Jinki.”
Convincing Hyun Soo is easy but setting up a meeting with the anonymous sex-ed columnist is a lot tougher. He finally snags one for 3PM, Thursday afternoon in the paper room and he makes sure to reach early. He’s flipping through this week’s edition when a short boy with brown hair and big eyes walks in, his tie slung low and loose around his neck.
“Hi, I’m Kim Jonghyun,” he introduces himself a soft, songlike voice. “You must be Lee Jinki?”
“I am,” Jinki gets on his feet and bows. “It’s nice to meet you!”
“Did you call me here to tell my column sucks? Because I don’t appreciate that.” Jonghyun crosses his arms across his chest and Jinki blinks. This was going downhill fast.
“No, not at all!” he says hastily. “I’m just a bit concerned about the um, specificity of the answers.”
“Look, I told you, I was instructed to keep it PG. Anyway most of the advice works if you’d stop being a douchebag long enough to try it.”
“I know, I’m sure it does.” Jinki reassures him, “All I’m trying to tell you is that I’ve found a way around it.”
“Really?” Jonghyun gives him a curious look.
“Yeah. We’re just going to make sure the column only prints in the seniors’ edition of the paper. That way we can really educate the hormonal masses.”
“Wow, our student president is so caring,” Jonghyun says but it’s without malice. He smiles at Jinki, a cute, toothy little thing. “Thanks for the intervention, I guess.”
“No problem.” Jinki smiles back. “Hey, how come you got slotted into doing this anyway?”
“I write a lot for the paper and I’ve also written some songs for the choir? I guess they picked me because I’m articulate and a virgin. That’s probably the least risky combination they could find.”
“You’re a virgin? But then how do you give sex advice?” Jinki tries not to frown.
“It’s not sex advice.” Jonghyun laughs. “It’s sex-ed, cold facts. I have a laptop, I connect it to the internet and I Google shit. I just make it sound like an expert is saying it. That reassures people. Besides I’m not interested in knowing about all that stuff.”
“I could teach you.”
“What?” Jonghyun stares at him.
“What,” Jinki parrots. He can’t believe he just said that. “Not like that! I mean, um, since I have experience and stuff.”
“With lady bits?” Jonghyun says warily.
“Yes, those.” Jinki laughs. “So what do you say? This way you’ll have an exponentially less embarrassing browser history and no ignorant soul will end up with gonorrhea either.”
“I guess it’s fine but hey, you’re into a bunch of other things, aren’t you? You sure you have the time for this?”
“Yeah. I mean, I usually stop by here in the mornings but I can always change that.”
“I usually work from home though so how would this work?”
“Do you mind working here instead? We can meet for a bit on like, two days a week? That way you won’t have to stay behind for too long.”
“Yeah, alright.” Jonghyun shrugs. “We can try.”
It becomes kind of a ritual, meeting Jonghyun in the paper room after school on Wednesdays and Fridays and trawling through the many sexual grievances of their adult student body.
They start off a bit awkward, usually doing their own thing separately but some of the more ridiculous questions make great icebreakers and it’s actually fun by the third week. They have a fair amount in common too. Jonghyun sings, just like Jinki, and they both like to read. Jinki had been afraid the younger boy would be resentful about him interfering with the column but he seems to appreciate the help. There’s a steady stream of questions and there’s only so much Googling one person can do.
He’s on the bus home one day when Jinki realizes he’s been spending more time with Jonghyun than anyone else lately. It should be weird but the younger boy is so much fun he can’t bring himself to mind.
“It says here the,” Jonghyun reads out slowly, “um, length of the middle finger can be used to estimate the size a guy’s penis size.”
They both look down at their short, stubby fingers.
“That’s nonsense,” Jinki says and Jonghyun nods furiously. “Next question please.”
“Suckerforhim wants to know how she can give better head. She wants to be as good as the girls in the pornos her boyfriend watches.”
“Well that’s a stupid thing to idolize,” Jinki says after he’s stopped laughing at her username.
“Maybe but we’re here to help, remember? What if she tries anyway and it’s horrible? They’ll both feel bad!”
“You just managed to make blow jobs sappy.” Jinki stares at the other boy. “Congratulations.”
Jonghyun ignores him, his fingers flying across the keyboard as he Googles their latest query. Neither of them is surprised when 1,060,000,000 results pop up.
“Where should I start?” Jonghyun asks, scrolling down the page. Jinki stops him a second later.
“Cosmo. Always Cosmo,” he says sagely. Three annoying pop ups later they reach the ultimate guide to sucking cock and start reading.
“This is really good!” Jonghyun says enthusiastically. “There’s tons of moves where she won’t even have to take it all in.”
Jinki shifts in his chair. This article is more graphic than he was expecting - each tip has made the cut only after the journalist tried it on her boyfriend. One in particular is stirring his interest, so to speak.
It’s called the lipstick and it involves the blower gently running the tip of the blowee’s cock across their mouth before wrapping their lips tight around it and tonguing the slit.
“Focusing on balls is an option too,” Jonghyun mutters in concentration, mouth wrapping around the end of his pen. The movement attracts Jinki’s attention, his glazed eyes shifting to the boy next to him. Jonghyun has nice lips.
He has really, really nice lips.
“I have to go.” Jinki stands up abruptly, cheeks hot.
“What, but we’ve just started?” Jonghyun looks confused. “Yah, come back here!” he yells but Jinki is already halfway down the corridor.
He doesn’t stop till he’s on the other side of the school, slumped against the staircase to the roof, breathless and flushed. There are not too many people around thankfully. Jinki has a horrible feeling the front of his pants isn’t as flat as it should be.
“It’s not your fault,” he reassures himself. It really isn’t. The article was so explicit! No, Jonghyun was the weird one here. How could he sit there so calmly, reading about all the ways his cock could have the time of its life, and not get even a little excited?
“What’s not your fault?” a voice asks cheerfully and Jinki whips around.
It’s Kibum.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, Jinki thinks.
“I forgot to lock the music room and two hornies used it to hook up,” he improvises, grimacing for effect.
“Some parts of you don’t look that unhappy.” Kibum grins, eyes flicking down meaningfully, and Jinki flushes harder.
“Yeah, well,” he murmurs.
“You don’t have to be embarrassed in front of me, hyung!” Kibum wraps an arm around his shoulders. He seems to have bought Jinki’s story a little too well. “It’s been a while since Sun Young.”
“Oh God,” Jinki groans.
“You’ll find someone soon,” Kibum reassures. “Maybe even tonight if you come to Nicole’s party with me!”
“I’m not so sure about that, I mean I have a lot of assignments coming up and…” Jinki trails off as Kibum growls.
“What the fuck, hyung, you never come for anything anymore! Either you’re locked in the music room or editing the paper or God knows what other shit. You’re always ready to help other people with what they need. Other people. Not me, not your best friend of six years - have you ever considered I might need a wing man tonight?”
“Kibum, on what planet do you need a wi-”
“No, whatever. Bye,” he boy snaps and stalks off.
“Kibummie, I’m sorry, okay? I’ll come, I promise!”
The younger slows down and glares at him over his shoulder. “I’ll pick you up at 9. Be ready or else.”
It’s not like Jinki doesn’t like parties - he just doesn’t like the kind that Kibum likes. These usually involve too much margarita mix and Kesha for his taste. He’s rifling through Nicole’s fridge in search of a beer when someone taps him on the shoulder and a familiar voice slurs out a, “Hyuuuuung.”
Jinki turns to find a shitfaced Jonghyun staring up at him. He’s rocking on his feet with this stupid little grin on his face and Jinki can’t help but grin back.
“Hi, Jonghyun.”
“Hyung, you’re evil.” Jonghyun pouts and pokes his chest. “You ditched me.”
“I’m sorry I left like that. I realized I’d forgotten to lock the music room,” Jinki explains earnestly. He’s getting really good at lying.
“Oh.” Jonghyun is lost in thought for a second before brightening up. “I guess it’s okay then!”
Jinki cheers mentally. There was no damage done. He’s all set to going to grab a beer, find his friends and forget this afternoon ever happened when Jonghyun lurches closer and all thoughts go flying out of his head.
“Hyung, dance with me!” Jonghyun says earnestly, eyes wide and imploring. He has really nice eyes.
No, Jinki, no.
“I’m not really the dancing type, Jonghyun.” It’s not a lie.
“Aw, come on! It’s easy.” Jonghyun gives him a winning smile and starts wiggling his hips. “See? Easy peasy!” He’s wearing a tight black t-shirt and the way his small waist twists under it is almost hypnotizing.
“Well,” Jinki says slowly. “I guess I co-”
“There you are. Oh, hey, Jinki-hyung!” Nicole’s boyfriend pops up behind Jonghyun and flashes them his trademark eye smile. “I hope this one isn’t bothering you? He’s had a bit much.”
“I have not!” Jonghyun says, voice high and indignant.
“No, he’s not a bother,” Jinki says sincerely and Jonghyun beams at him.
“See, Jinwoon? You need to stop d-disrespecting me.” Jonghyun hiccups. “Damn it,” he whispers. Jinki catches the taller boy’s eye and laughs.
“I’m sorry, hyung,” Jinwoon says soothingly. He wraps a hand around Jonghyun’s waist. “I didn’t mean it in a rude way. Let’s get you some fresh air, okay?”
“Ok. Bye, hyung!” Jonghyun waves at him and lets himself be led away.
It’s only when he’s alone that Jinki realizes Nicole’s fridge has been beeping at him to close the door for the past 10 minutes. One last cursory glance confirms that there are indeed no beers. Sighing, Jinki shuts the door. His left temple throbs lightly and he wanders off in search of a distraction.
An hour of troubling Chan Sung later he wanders off to look for Kibum, quite ready to go home. The younger boy is no where to be found and when he hears a loud cheer sound out from the living room, Jinki ambles towards it, curiosity piqued.
Jonghyun is on top Nicole’s dining table, dancing to Hips Don't Lie. Their hostess is unperturbed if her wolf whistle is anything to go by and Kibum is right next to her, a drink in one hand and his cellphone in the other. Jonghyun lifts his shirt playfully, revealing an impressive set of abs and setting off another round of screams, both of which do nothing to reduce Jinki’s headache.
He sets his own glass down on the nearest flat surface and quietly slips out the door.
It’s only once he’s safely under his blankets that Jinki lets his thoughts out. They’ve been clamouring in his head all day, dozens of them, some worried, some hopeful, some plain filthy. He shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath.
It’s better to start from the beginning, he decides. Because clearly this afternoon has only triggered something that’s been brewing inside him for a while. But how long has he even known Jonghyun that he’s this whipped already? Not that long but they have spent a considerable amount of time together.
Answering sex queries.
Jinki groans and buries his face in his pillow.
He can’t deny how much he enjoys Jonghyun’s company or how cute the younger boy is. He’s always had a weakness for cute boys, if Chan Sung is anything to go by. Jinki had nursed a secret crush for his other best friend for quite some time. It never went anywhere because Chan Sung doesn’t swing that way but Jinki can’t bring himself to resent it. Those few months taught him a lot about himself.
But he doesn’t know a lot about Jonghyun. He’d never even talked to the boy until seven weeks ago. He usually spends his time with his classmates or some of Kibum’s. All he knows is that Jonghyun used to be in choir but dropped out to focus on his band.
His heart sinks when he realizes he doesn’t know if Jonghyun swings that way either. There are signs but Jinki isn’t one to make assumptions.
There’s only one way to find out.
His head throbs some more.
It throbs even worse when he wakes up in the morning and, for the first time in 3 years, Jinki doesn’t go to school.
Naturally Kibum and Taemin are banging on his door even before their last class is over.
“You guys, skipping is not cool,” he says with a distressed look.
“You’re one to talk.” Kibum drops his bag on the floor before making his way to Jinki’s bed and collapsing on it with a contented sigh. “Fuck, I am so hungover.”
“I am surprised you’re still standing.”
“Hyung, I’m hungry,” Taemin says.
“Help yourself.” Jinki shrugs.
The youngest is out the door in a flash, his footsteps light as he takes the stairs three at a time and skids into Jinki’s kitchen.
“He’s going to eat everything you own, you know,” Kibum warns and Jinki laughs.
“He’s a growing boy after all.”
“Yes.” Kibum sits up with a devious smile. “That’s exactly why you should tell me what’s going on before he gets back.”
Jinki picks at his t-shirt. “What makes you think something is up?”
“Well,” Kibum smirks, “for one the way Jonghyun was practically grinding on you last night.”
Jinki looks up in record time. “What?!”
“I saw you two getting cozy by the fridge, don’t lie to me.” He whistles. “Damn, you’re smooth, hyung. I didn’t even know you two knew each other!”
“Well I didn’t know you two knew each other,” Jinki counters.
“There are nine other queer kids on campus, why would I not know him?” Kibum says coolly and Jinki can’t help the way his heart kick starts again at hearing that.
“Who do you know?” Taemin asks as he walks back in, elbow-deep in a bag of crisps.
“Jinki’s boyfriend,” Kibum coos and Jinki yelps.
“Kibum!”
“Cool,” Taemin says, watching Jinki’s blush intensify. He shoves a fistful of crisps in his mouth. “You should introduce us.”
“We’re not boyfriends,” Jinki mutters and wow, he sounds miserable.
“Not yet.” Kibum pats the space next to him. “Come here, Romeo.”
After he fills them in, to Jinki’s complete and utter lack of surprise, Kibum and Taemin hatch a plan to get him and Jonghyun together. Deviousness seems to run in the family but the plan itself is… kind of alright.
“Get your laptop,” Kibum orders. “It’s about time one of us got laid.”
“Speak for yourself,” Taemin says, crumbs all over his face, and Jinki struggles to reconcile the two images. He gives up and heads downstairs to fetch his laptop.
When Jinki walks in Jonghyun is staring at his laptop, a furious look on his face.
“I’m going to kill Seunghyun.”
“Why?” Jinki asks, depositing his backpack on an empty chair and joining Jonghyun on the sofa. He peers into the younger’s boy screen.
“Don’t act like you haven’t seen the video,” Jonghyun mutters, switching from Facebook to the column’s inbox.
“What video?” Jinki prods his arm.
Jonghyun pins him with a glare. “Everyone’s seen it, drop the innocent act.”
“I haven’t.” Jinki shrugs. “I didn’t come to school yesterday.”
Jonghyun grins. “Really? That’s fantastic! You are officially my new favorite person.”
“I never said I don’t want to see it,” Jinki says syly and Jonghyun sticks his tongue out.
“You just got demoted. It’s stupid anyway, it’s just a video of me piss drunk and dancing but God,” Jonghyun twists his body so he’s facing Jinki, visibly annoyed, “it’s so embarrassing, you know?”
“Oh.” Jinki finally catches up. “I saw that live!”
Jonghyun buries his face in his hands with a groan.
“You weren’t bad!” Jinki corrects quickly. “I swear, everyone was cheering so loudly for you.”
“But I would have never done that if I wasn’t so drunk,” Jonghyun says miserably.
Jinki nods, sympathetic. He’s been there. “How much did you have?”
“Almost three drinks.”
Jinki can’t help it. He bursts out laughing. “That’s it?”
“I’m a lightweight, okay.” Jonghyun bristles. “Not all of us drink like a beast.”
Jinki stops laughing when his heart does a funny thing. “You think I drink like a beast?”
“No. I just, I heard some stories, alright,” Jonghyun turns his eyes back to his laptop, a flustered look on his face. “Let’s start, I don’t want to spend too long here.”
“Okay.”
Jonghyun clicks on the topmost email. “Question one is from BigBangLover. They want to know if it’s alright to have oral sex without condoms.”
Jinki frowns. “It’s alright but it’s not advisable.”
“Yeah. We should answer this one then.” Jonghyun clicks back to the inbox and stars the mail. He whistles as he glances at the ones below it. “What the fuck, this person has sent the same question fifteen times!”
Jinki feels the color leave his face. He knew it, he shouldn’t have trusted Kibum.
“Maybe there’s a glitch?”
Jonghyun looks unconvinced. “This has never happened before. No, they’re definitely desperate for me to read this.”
“Maybe it’s urgent or something.” Jinki licks his lips. He can feel his palms getting sweatier with every passing second. This was a bad idea. This was a horrible, horrible idea.
“Or maybe they have no hand eye coordination.” Jonghyun sighs and opens one of the mails. “Well they definitely have no filter, look at the size of this.” He slumps a little, his head lolling on the sofa. “I’m too lazy to read all that.”
“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” Jinki says weakly. “Come on, the sooner the better, right?”
“Yeah, whatever.” He sits up again and begins to read. Jinki can’t breathe. “BoyNextDoor says: A few weeks ago I made a new friend and a few days ago I realized I really like him. I mean really, really like him. Maybe too much. I’m not sure if he feels the same way because sometimes I feel like he really likes me and other times I’m scared he’s just this nice to everyone. Because he is nice. Really, really nice, all over in fact. Since that afternoon all I’ve been able to think about are his beautiful eyes and his ridiculous lips and his voice (he’s a really good singer). I admit I don’t know him all that well.” Jonghyun’s voice slows down, falters a bit. “A-all we do is get together twice a week to write a sex advice column. But I think I really like him. Hell, all I think about is him and how happy I want to make him and how I want to kiss him goodnight and fuck him good morning for the rest of our high school lives if he’d let me,” Jonghyun finishes, his cheeks on fire.
Jinki can feel him staring at him but he doesn’t look at Jonghyun, doesn’t look up, doesn’t look anywhere except at his lap where his shaking hands are clasped together.
“Hyung,” Jonghyun says softly and Jinki makes an unintelligible noise. From the corner of his eye, Jinki can see the younger boy put his laptop down on the coffee table. “Hyung, look at me.”
Jinki does and he immediately regrets it because this Jonghyun, caught entirely off guard, is even more beautiful.
“Surprise,” he says, laughing nervously. Jonghyun doesn’t say anything for a long minute and fuck, Jinki is so embarrassed. He’s about to leave when Jonghyun’s palm cups his cheek and Jinki’s heart goes crazy.
“I can’t make any promises,” Jonghyun says slowly, “but I’d like to try.”
It’s good enough for Jinki.
“Fuck, why are there always so many questions about blow jobs? What a bunch of amateurs,” Jonghyun scoffs but the playful look in his eyes doesn’t escape Jinki. It’s another Wednesday afternoon in the paper room, five weeks later, and they’re answering questions as usual.
“And you know better, do you?” he teases, pulling his boyfriend’s cheek because he knows he hates it.
Jonghyun swats him away indignantly. “Of course! I might be bad with vaginas but I’m very good with cock.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Jinki says with a shake of his head. In retrospect he should have known better, he really should have, but Jonghyun’s complete lack of fucks-given is one of the things he loves most and he can’t bring himself to say no when Jonghyun whispers, “I could show you right now.”
Of course they get caught. Neither of them had been able to tear himself away long enough to go lock the door. Hell Jinki can’t even tell which one them was having a better time. The way the younger boy was going to town on his cock was blowing his mind. It was impossible to keep quiet.
But it probably would have been better to lower the volume a bit. Maybe that way the Principal would have gone straight to the parking lot instead of stopping to inspect the loud groans coming from the east corridor.
“Mr. Kim!”
“Fuck, Jjon-”
“Mr. Lee!”
“Principal Song?!”
“Shit.”
(And that's how the best blowjob of Lee Jinki’s life ended up on his permanent record.)
count 4363
a/n i hope it's not too bad and can keep you entertained for a few minutes!
“And then,” Kibum reads out, “maybe you should try serenading her. From my experience, this always works.”
Minho is slumped over with laughter but Jinki, Jinki is concerned.
“That isn't very helpful at all,” he frowns.
“No shit.” Kibum snorts. “According to the local love guru, when you have a raging hard on and the girl is dry as nori, Brown-eyed Soul is the way to go.”
“Serenade,” Minho gasps, wiping a tear. “I swear Mondays would be unbearable without the sex-ed column. It might even be the only reason I come to school anymore.”
“No, Kibum says patiently, “that's the soccer field.”
Minho toasts him with his root beer. “Well said. Read the next one, come on.”
“Ok.” Kibum clears his throat dramatically. “I find it really hard to stop masturbating. I have no control over it. I've done it everywhere, including in the library’s rare books section. Please tell me how I can knick some brains into my prick!”
“The rare books section?!” Jinki stands up and plucks the paper from his friend’s hands. “That's not funny, this is a serious offense! He reads the rest of the question furiously. “Its anonymous. Fuck.”
“Oh my god, please tell me you weren’t about to report them.” Kibum snatches the paper back and jabs his shoulder. “I know you're student president but even you're not that lame.”
Minho is getting inpatient on the other size of the table if the way his knee is bouncing at ninety miles per hour is any indication.
“Come on, read out the answer!”
“You know,” Jinki ploughs on ignoring him, “I’ve been meaning to track this person down for a few weeks now. Their sex-ed is basically miserable, it’s a wonder we've only had three teen pregnancies this year.”
“We've had three cases of herpes too,” Taemin chimes in cheerfully.
“Why do you even know what that is?” Kibum pulls a face. “I liked you better when you were cute.”
Taemin flips him off and returns to eating a burger the size of his face unperturbed.
“How will you even find them?” Minho says. His eyes are still fixed on the folded up sheet of newspaper in Kibum’s hand.
“I have my ways,” Jinki tries to say, all mysterious smiles and casual shrugs but the loud bell kind of ruins the effect.
“Well kiddos, lunch is over.” Kibum jumps to his feet. “I guess I’ll see you around. And oh, the answer is to think about your parents making you.”
Minho follows him out with a loud gagging noise.
“Hi, Miss Park, can I talk to you for a second?”
The petite English teacher looks up from her desk with a smile. “Yes, of course, Jinki. Take a seat.”
“Thanks but I’m alright. I just wanted to talk to you about something that has been concerning me.”
“Go on.” Miss Park adjusts her glasses before weaving her fingers together and resting her chin on them. Her light brown eyes are kind and patient.
“Well since you’re the chief editor of the school paper and I’m student president I thought I’d discuss this with you. You see, I’m concerned this new sex-ed column in the paper doesn’t really involve a lot of actual… sex-ed?”
Miss Park gives him a smile. “I get why you might feel that, Jinki, but to be honest, I’ve been hesitant to do the column at all.
“Why? I think it’s a great idea!” Jinki says enthusiastically.
“Maybe but it’s not the most age appropriate one? I don’t mean that for the upper classmen but some of the younger students may not be ready to know those things. That’s how Principal Song feels as well.”
“Then we should put that page in only certain grades’ copies. I’m sure we could manage that. We’ve done it to cover grade-specific events. I could talk to Hyun Soo if you’d like?”
“If you think that would better. I trust you’ll to do the right thing.”
“Great! Thank you so much, Miss.”
“Anytime, Jinki.”
Convincing Hyun Soo is easy but setting up a meeting with the anonymous sex-ed columnist is a lot tougher. He finally snags one for 3PM, Thursday afternoon in the paper room and he makes sure to reach early. He’s flipping through this week’s edition when a short boy with brown hair and big eyes walks in, his tie slung low and loose around his neck.
“Hi, I’m Kim Jonghyun,” he introduces himself a soft, songlike voice. “You must be Lee Jinki?”
“I am,” Jinki gets on his feet and bows. “It’s nice to meet you!”
“Did you call me here to tell my column sucks? Because I don’t appreciate that.” Jonghyun crosses his arms across his chest and Jinki blinks. This was going downhill fast.
“No, not at all!” he says hastily. “I’m just a bit concerned about the um, specificity of the answers.”
“Look, I told you, I was instructed to keep it PG. Anyway most of the advice works if you’d stop being a douchebag long enough to try it.”
“I know, I’m sure it does.” Jinki reassures him, “All I’m trying to tell you is that I’ve found a way around it.”
“Really?” Jonghyun gives him a curious look.
“Yeah. We’re just going to make sure the column only prints in the seniors’ edition of the paper. That way we can really educate the hormonal masses.”
“Wow, our student president is so caring,” Jonghyun says but it’s without malice. He smiles at Jinki, a cute, toothy little thing. “Thanks for the intervention, I guess.”
“No problem.” Jinki smiles back. “Hey, how come you got slotted into doing this anyway?”
“I write a lot for the paper and I’ve also written some songs for the choir? I guess they picked me because I’m articulate and a virgin. That’s probably the least risky combination they could find.”
“You’re a virgin? But then how do you give sex advice?” Jinki tries not to frown.
“It’s not sex advice.” Jonghyun laughs. “It’s sex-ed, cold facts. I have a laptop, I connect it to the internet and I Google shit. I just make it sound like an expert is saying it. That reassures people. Besides I’m not interested in knowing about all that stuff.”
“I could teach you.”
“What?” Jonghyun stares at him.
“What,” Jinki parrots. He can’t believe he just said that. “Not like that! I mean, um, since I have experience and stuff.”
“With lady bits?” Jonghyun says warily.
“Yes, those.” Jinki laughs. “So what do you say? This way you’ll have an exponentially less embarrassing browser history and no ignorant soul will end up with gonorrhea either.”
“I guess it’s fine but hey, you’re into a bunch of other things, aren’t you? You sure you have the time for this?”
“Yeah. I mean, I usually stop by here in the mornings but I can always change that.”
“I usually work from home though so how would this work?”
“Do you mind working here instead? We can meet for a bit on like, two days a week? That way you won’t have to stay behind for too long.”
“Yeah, alright.” Jonghyun shrugs. “We can try.”
It becomes kind of a ritual, meeting Jonghyun in the paper room after school on Wednesdays and Fridays and trawling through the many sexual grievances of their adult student body.
They start off a bit awkward, usually doing their own thing separately but some of the more ridiculous questions make great icebreakers and it’s actually fun by the third week. They have a fair amount in common too. Jonghyun sings, just like Jinki, and they both like to read. Jinki had been afraid the younger boy would be resentful about him interfering with the column but he seems to appreciate the help. There’s a steady stream of questions and there’s only so much Googling one person can do.
He’s on the bus home one day when Jinki realizes he’s been spending more time with Jonghyun than anyone else lately. It should be weird but the younger boy is so much fun he can’t bring himself to mind.
“It says here the,” Jonghyun reads out slowly, “um, length of the middle finger can be used to estimate the size a guy’s penis size.”
They both look down at their short, stubby fingers.
“That’s nonsense,” Jinki says and Jonghyun nods furiously. “Next question please.”
“Suckerforhim wants to know how she can give better head. She wants to be as good as the girls in the pornos her boyfriend watches.”
“Well that’s a stupid thing to idolize,” Jinki says after he’s stopped laughing at her username.
“Maybe but we’re here to help, remember? What if she tries anyway and it’s horrible? They’ll both feel bad!”
“You just managed to make blow jobs sappy.” Jinki stares at the other boy. “Congratulations.”
Jonghyun ignores him, his fingers flying across the keyboard as he Googles their latest query. Neither of them is surprised when 1,060,000,000 results pop up.
“Where should I start?” Jonghyun asks, scrolling down the page. Jinki stops him a second later.
“Cosmo. Always Cosmo,” he says sagely. Three annoying pop ups later they reach the ultimate guide to sucking cock and start reading.
“This is really good!” Jonghyun says enthusiastically. “There’s tons of moves where she won’t even have to take it all in.”
Jinki shifts in his chair. This article is more graphic than he was expecting - each tip has made the cut only after the journalist tried it on her boyfriend. One in particular is stirring his interest, so to speak.
It’s called the lipstick and it involves the blower gently running the tip of the blowee’s cock across their mouth before wrapping their lips tight around it and tonguing the slit.
“Focusing on balls is an option too,” Jonghyun mutters in concentration, mouth wrapping around the end of his pen. The movement attracts Jinki’s attention, his glazed eyes shifting to the boy next to him. Jonghyun has nice lips.
He has really, really nice lips.
“I have to go.” Jinki stands up abruptly, cheeks hot.
“What, but we’ve just started?” Jonghyun looks confused. “Yah, come back here!” he yells but Jinki is already halfway down the corridor.
He doesn’t stop till he’s on the other side of the school, slumped against the staircase to the roof, breathless and flushed. There are not too many people around thankfully. Jinki has a horrible feeling the front of his pants isn’t as flat as it should be.
“It’s not your fault,” he reassures himself. It really isn’t. The article was so explicit! No, Jonghyun was the weird one here. How could he sit there so calmly, reading about all the ways his cock could have the time of its life, and not get even a little excited?
“What’s not your fault?” a voice asks cheerfully and Jinki whips around.
It’s Kibum.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, Jinki thinks.
“I forgot to lock the music room and two hornies used it to hook up,” he improvises, grimacing for effect.
“Some parts of you don’t look that unhappy.” Kibum grins, eyes flicking down meaningfully, and Jinki flushes harder.
“Yeah, well,” he murmurs.
“You don’t have to be embarrassed in front of me, hyung!” Kibum wraps an arm around his shoulders. He seems to have bought Jinki’s story a little too well. “It’s been a while since Sun Young.”
“Oh God,” Jinki groans.
“You’ll find someone soon,” Kibum reassures. “Maybe even tonight if you come to Nicole’s party with me!”
“I’m not so sure about that, I mean I have a lot of assignments coming up and…” Jinki trails off as Kibum growls.
“What the fuck, hyung, you never come for anything anymore! Either you’re locked in the music room or editing the paper or God knows what other shit. You’re always ready to help other people with what they need. Other people. Not me, not your best friend of six years - have you ever considered I might need a wing man tonight?”
“Kibum, on what planet do you need a wi-”
“No, whatever. Bye,” he boy snaps and stalks off.
“Kibummie, I’m sorry, okay? I’ll come, I promise!”
The younger slows down and glares at him over his shoulder. “I’ll pick you up at 9. Be ready or else.”
It’s not like Jinki doesn’t like parties - he just doesn’t like the kind that Kibum likes. These usually involve too much margarita mix and Kesha for his taste. He’s rifling through Nicole’s fridge in search of a beer when someone taps him on the shoulder and a familiar voice slurs out a, “Hyuuuuung.”
Jinki turns to find a shitfaced Jonghyun staring up at him. He’s rocking on his feet with this stupid little grin on his face and Jinki can’t help but grin back.
“Hi, Jonghyun.”
“Hyung, you’re evil.” Jonghyun pouts and pokes his chest. “You ditched me.”
“I’m sorry I left like that. I realized I’d forgotten to lock the music room,” Jinki explains earnestly. He’s getting really good at lying.
“Oh.” Jonghyun is lost in thought for a second before brightening up. “I guess it’s okay then!”
Jinki cheers mentally. There was no damage done. He’s all set to going to grab a beer, find his friends and forget this afternoon ever happened when Jonghyun lurches closer and all thoughts go flying out of his head.
“Hyung, dance with me!” Jonghyun says earnestly, eyes wide and imploring. He has really nice eyes.
No, Jinki, no.
“I’m not really the dancing type, Jonghyun.” It’s not a lie.
“Aw, come on! It’s easy.” Jonghyun gives him a winning smile and starts wiggling his hips. “See? Easy peasy!” He’s wearing a tight black t-shirt and the way his small waist twists under it is almost hypnotizing.
“Well,” Jinki says slowly. “I guess I co-”
“There you are. Oh, hey, Jinki-hyung!” Nicole’s boyfriend pops up behind Jonghyun and flashes them his trademark eye smile. “I hope this one isn’t bothering you? He’s had a bit much.”
“I have not!” Jonghyun says, voice high and indignant.
“No, he’s not a bother,” Jinki says sincerely and Jonghyun beams at him.
“See, Jinwoon? You need to stop d-disrespecting me.” Jonghyun hiccups. “Damn it,” he whispers. Jinki catches the taller boy’s eye and laughs.
“I’m sorry, hyung,” Jinwoon says soothingly. He wraps a hand around Jonghyun’s waist. “I didn’t mean it in a rude way. Let’s get you some fresh air, okay?”
“Ok. Bye, hyung!” Jonghyun waves at him and lets himself be led away.
It’s only when he’s alone that Jinki realizes Nicole’s fridge has been beeping at him to close the door for the past 10 minutes. One last cursory glance confirms that there are indeed no beers. Sighing, Jinki shuts the door. His left temple throbs lightly and he wanders off in search of a distraction.
An hour of troubling Chan Sung later he wanders off to look for Kibum, quite ready to go home. The younger boy is no where to be found and when he hears a loud cheer sound out from the living room, Jinki ambles towards it, curiosity piqued.
Jonghyun is on top Nicole’s dining table, dancing to Hips Don't Lie. Their hostess is unperturbed if her wolf whistle is anything to go by and Kibum is right next to her, a drink in one hand and his cellphone in the other. Jonghyun lifts his shirt playfully, revealing an impressive set of abs and setting off another round of screams, both of which do nothing to reduce Jinki’s headache.
He sets his own glass down on the nearest flat surface and quietly slips out the door.
It’s only once he’s safely under his blankets that Jinki lets his thoughts out. They’ve been clamouring in his head all day, dozens of them, some worried, some hopeful, some plain filthy. He shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath.
It’s better to start from the beginning, he decides. Because clearly this afternoon has only triggered something that’s been brewing inside him for a while. But how long has he even known Jonghyun that he’s this whipped already? Not that long but they have spent a considerable amount of time together.
Answering sex queries.
Jinki groans and buries his face in his pillow.
He can’t deny how much he enjoys Jonghyun’s company or how cute the younger boy is. He’s always had a weakness for cute boys, if Chan Sung is anything to go by. Jinki had nursed a secret crush for his other best friend for quite some time. It never went anywhere because Chan Sung doesn’t swing that way but Jinki can’t bring himself to resent it. Those few months taught him a lot about himself.
But he doesn’t know a lot about Jonghyun. He’d never even talked to the boy until seven weeks ago. He usually spends his time with his classmates or some of Kibum’s. All he knows is that Jonghyun used to be in choir but dropped out to focus on his band.
His heart sinks when he realizes he doesn’t know if Jonghyun swings that way either. There are signs but Jinki isn’t one to make assumptions.
There’s only one way to find out.
His head throbs some more.
It throbs even worse when he wakes up in the morning and, for the first time in 3 years, Jinki doesn’t go to school.
Naturally Kibum and Taemin are banging on his door even before their last class is over.
“You guys, skipping is not cool,” he says with a distressed look.
“You’re one to talk.” Kibum drops his bag on the floor before making his way to Jinki’s bed and collapsing on it with a contented sigh. “Fuck, I am so hungover.”
“I am surprised you’re still standing.”
“Hyung, I’m hungry,” Taemin says.
“Help yourself.” Jinki shrugs.
The youngest is out the door in a flash, his footsteps light as he takes the stairs three at a time and skids into Jinki’s kitchen.
“He’s going to eat everything you own, you know,” Kibum warns and Jinki laughs.
“He’s a growing boy after all.”
“Yes.” Kibum sits up with a devious smile. “That’s exactly why you should tell me what’s going on before he gets back.”
Jinki picks at his t-shirt. “What makes you think something is up?”
“Well,” Kibum smirks, “for one the way Jonghyun was practically grinding on you last night.”
Jinki looks up in record time. “What?!”
“I saw you two getting cozy by the fridge, don’t lie to me.” He whistles. “Damn, you’re smooth, hyung. I didn’t even know you two knew each other!”
“Well I didn’t know you two knew each other,” Jinki counters.
“There are nine other queer kids on campus, why would I not know him?” Kibum says coolly and Jinki can’t help the way his heart kick starts again at hearing that.
“Who do you know?” Taemin asks as he walks back in, elbow-deep in a bag of crisps.
“Jinki’s boyfriend,” Kibum coos and Jinki yelps.
“Kibum!”
“Cool,” Taemin says, watching Jinki’s blush intensify. He shoves a fistful of crisps in his mouth. “You should introduce us.”
“We’re not boyfriends,” Jinki mutters and wow, he sounds miserable.
“Not yet.” Kibum pats the space next to him. “Come here, Romeo.”
After he fills them in, to Jinki’s complete and utter lack of surprise, Kibum and Taemin hatch a plan to get him and Jonghyun together. Deviousness seems to run in the family but the plan itself is… kind of alright.
“Get your laptop,” Kibum orders. “It’s about time one of us got laid.”
“Speak for yourself,” Taemin says, crumbs all over his face, and Jinki struggles to reconcile the two images. He gives up and heads downstairs to fetch his laptop.
When Jinki walks in Jonghyun is staring at his laptop, a furious look on his face.
“I’m going to kill Seunghyun.”
“Why?” Jinki asks, depositing his backpack on an empty chair and joining Jonghyun on the sofa. He peers into the younger’s boy screen.
“Don’t act like you haven’t seen the video,” Jonghyun mutters, switching from Facebook to the column’s inbox.
“What video?” Jinki prods his arm.
Jonghyun pins him with a glare. “Everyone’s seen it, drop the innocent act.”
“I haven’t.” Jinki shrugs. “I didn’t come to school yesterday.”
Jonghyun grins. “Really? That’s fantastic! You are officially my new favorite person.”
“I never said I don’t want to see it,” Jinki says syly and Jonghyun sticks his tongue out.
“You just got demoted. It’s stupid anyway, it’s just a video of me piss drunk and dancing but God,” Jonghyun twists his body so he’s facing Jinki, visibly annoyed, “it’s so embarrassing, you know?”
“Oh.” Jinki finally catches up. “I saw that live!”
Jonghyun buries his face in his hands with a groan.
“You weren’t bad!” Jinki corrects quickly. “I swear, everyone was cheering so loudly for you.”
“But I would have never done that if I wasn’t so drunk,” Jonghyun says miserably.
Jinki nods, sympathetic. He’s been there. “How much did you have?”
“Almost three drinks.”
Jinki can’t help it. He bursts out laughing. “That’s it?”
“I’m a lightweight, okay.” Jonghyun bristles. “Not all of us drink like a beast.”
Jinki stops laughing when his heart does a funny thing. “You think I drink like a beast?”
“No. I just, I heard some stories, alright,” Jonghyun turns his eyes back to his laptop, a flustered look on his face. “Let’s start, I don’t want to spend too long here.”
“Okay.”
Jonghyun clicks on the topmost email. “Question one is from BigBangLover. They want to know if it’s alright to have oral sex without condoms.”
Jinki frowns. “It’s alright but it’s not advisable.”
“Yeah. We should answer this one then.” Jonghyun clicks back to the inbox and stars the mail. He whistles as he glances at the ones below it. “What the fuck, this person has sent the same question fifteen times!”
Jinki feels the color leave his face. He knew it, he shouldn’t have trusted Kibum.
“Maybe there’s a glitch?”
Jonghyun looks unconvinced. “This has never happened before. No, they’re definitely desperate for me to read this.”
“Maybe it’s urgent or something.” Jinki licks his lips. He can feel his palms getting sweatier with every passing second. This was a bad idea. This was a horrible, horrible idea.
“Or maybe they have no hand eye coordination.” Jonghyun sighs and opens one of the mails. “Well they definitely have no filter, look at the size of this.” He slumps a little, his head lolling on the sofa. “I’m too lazy to read all that.”
“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” Jinki says weakly. “Come on, the sooner the better, right?”
“Yeah, whatever.” He sits up again and begins to read. Jinki can’t breathe. “BoyNextDoor says: A few weeks ago I made a new friend and a few days ago I realized I really like him. I mean really, really like him. Maybe too much. I’m not sure if he feels the same way because sometimes I feel like he really likes me and other times I’m scared he’s just this nice to everyone. Because he is nice. Really, really nice, all over in fact. Since that afternoon all I’ve been able to think about are his beautiful eyes and his ridiculous lips and his voice (he’s a really good singer). I admit I don’t know him all that well.” Jonghyun’s voice slows down, falters a bit. “A-all we do is get together twice a week to write a sex advice column. But I think I really like him. Hell, all I think about is him and how happy I want to make him and how I want to kiss him goodnight and fuck him good morning for the rest of our high school lives if he’d let me,” Jonghyun finishes, his cheeks on fire.
Jinki can feel him staring at him but he doesn’t look at Jonghyun, doesn’t look up, doesn’t look anywhere except at his lap where his shaking hands are clasped together.
“Hyung,” Jonghyun says softly and Jinki makes an unintelligible noise. From the corner of his eye, Jinki can see the younger boy put his laptop down on the coffee table. “Hyung, look at me.”
Jinki does and he immediately regrets it because this Jonghyun, caught entirely off guard, is even more beautiful.
“Surprise,” he says, laughing nervously. Jonghyun doesn’t say anything for a long minute and fuck, Jinki is so embarrassed. He’s about to leave when Jonghyun’s palm cups his cheek and Jinki’s heart goes crazy.
“I can’t make any promises,” Jonghyun says slowly, “but I’d like to try.”
It’s good enough for Jinki.
“Fuck, why are there always so many questions about blow jobs? What a bunch of amateurs,” Jonghyun scoffs but the playful look in his eyes doesn’t escape Jinki. It’s another Wednesday afternoon in the paper room, five weeks later, and they’re answering questions as usual.
“And you know better, do you?” he teases, pulling his boyfriend’s cheek because he knows he hates it.
Jonghyun swats him away indignantly. “Of course! I might be bad with vaginas but I’m very good with cock.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Jinki says with a shake of his head. In retrospect he should have known better, he really should have, but Jonghyun’s complete lack of fucks-given is one of the things he loves most and he can’t bring himself to say no when Jonghyun whispers, “I could show you right now.”
Of course they get caught. Neither of them had been able to tear himself away long enough to go lock the door. Hell Jinki can’t even tell which one them was having a better time. The way the younger boy was going to town on his cock was blowing his mind. It was impossible to keep quiet.
But it probably would have been better to lower the volume a bit. Maybe that way the Principal would have gone straight to the parking lot instead of stopping to inspect the loud groans coming from the east corridor.
“Mr. Kim!”
“Fuck, Jjon-”
“Mr. Lee!”
“Principal Song?!”
“Shit.”
(And that's how the best blowjob of Lee Jinki’s life ended up on his permanent record.)