A New Mustache
weekend
I only took three photos from the weekend. I will try to add them tomorrow.
Wednesday night I got most of my packing done. Three sets of clothes, ipod, phone charger, aqua socks, shoes, flashlight, arm warmers, towel, cards, meds, hygiene supplies, leatherman tool and camera.
Thursday after work I stopped by CycleWorks to get a new headlight. Then to Hyvee and got some jerky, trailmix, peanut rolls, diet coke and beerzez. Then drove over to White'y house... which is practically in Waverly! Whitey was going to bags, food, drinks and sleeping bags down to Indian Caves that night with a pop-up camper and then drive back to Lincoln.
With all the supplies readied, I headed back home... and then went out and hit the bars. I was on vacation and there was nothing left to do but drank too muchzez. Midnight showed up early.
Next thing I know, it's 6:30am. Time for a quick shower, some oatmeal, down some water, get the bike supplies lined up. Most of what I needed fit into my camelback. Rain jacket, three spare tubes, bike pump, levers, nut roll, some jerky. I attached a bright tail light to it also. Got the shoes on, checked for keys. Put the wallet and the phone in a baggy to high tech waterproof them... Then out the door... Wait. I hate coming home to dishes. So I did the dishes. We were meeting at 8am... it's 7:40am. Crap, I'm going to be late.
Earlier in the week I got the bike tuned up and dialed in. I get to the garage and find dark skies above. Get the bike, put on the helmet, lock up the garage and I'm off. And the rain begins... I'm pushing hard to get to the starting point which was a Sinclair station across the street from Wal*Mart on Highway 2. Only 7 miles away. The wind was out of the South West which was the direction I was headed. The rain intensifies. I can barely see the bike path as my glasses blur with rain drops. My chamois(padded bike shorts) are thoroughly soaked. I push. The new light was rocking. Off in the distance I could see the strobe lighting up anything reflective. Take that bright beam cars!
I finally reach the Sinclair... Check the clock, 8:30am. Am I late? Nope but only two bikes there. Hmmm... There should be three. Whitey and Dale are there, sipping on coffee and having a smoke... WITH MUSTACHES! hell yeah!
Dale's brother Marlen flew in from Salt Lake City to go on this ride but forgot a helmet so he was over at Wal*Mart buying a new one. The rain had let up by this point so I was the only man soaked to the core. I should have gotten up at 6am and forgot the dishes. Oh well.
Marlen arrives and we all take some time to compliment each others' mustaches. hell yeah!
So customers ask what we're doing, you know, with our fine facial hairs. We tell them we're riding to Indian Caves. They look at our bikes, look at the skies which are now flashing with lightening in the distance and just shake their heads while saying good luck.
9am, one hour behind schedule and the trek in under way. For the first few miles we catch up from what's changed in our lives since last year. We roll through Bennett and all is fine. Dale and I surge ahead because Whitey and Marlen are on heavier bikes. I get some fine tips on how to hydrate for Gravel Worlds from Dale. We roll into Palmyra and take a nature break. A few minutes later Whitey and Marlen show up and get a coffee. We take off again after taking off the rain gear. The skies appear to be clearing. Maybe a band of t-storms rolled by this morning and it was just going to get hot and muggy? Again Dale and I separate from our compadres.
We come up to Unadilla but decide, "F that place," and continue on. We take a break in Syracuse. While I was in the men's room, some perv walks in on me. "Oh, I'm sorry." She quickly leaves. We all know she wanted to see the 'stache! hell yeah!
We fill up with water and take off again. We don't know if our fellow riders are in front of us or behind us still. Eventually another nature break is needed so we pull off on a side road with trees. Whitey and Marlen slowly make there way up the hill. Dale and I grotesquely wave at them to signal where we are, ten feet from them. They turn their heads as if to feint obliviousness to our location. But then they are compelled to stop and compliment our fine fine mustaches. hell yeah!
We all decide to get back on the road, well, shoulder. Whitey and Marlen muster up the lead and head out. Dale then looks in dismay and his rear is going soft. The whole time we were waiting for the slower element he could have been changing the tire. Drip, drip, drip... Dale has to change the tire as the rain makes another appearance. The tire pump he brought was a little shoddy so he can't get the new tube up to pressure. We get going again. The wind has picked up and the rain is steady. Dale is a strong rider so he really picked up the speed with the desire to get to Nebraska City ASAP because he only had the one spare tube. Going up hills that never seem to end, into a headwind, with the rain all around is a challenge. I usually spend my time scanning the ground to avoid nails, glass, dead raccoons and IEDs... but once again the rain made visibility almost non-existent. Oh, did I mention how fun it is to have semi-trucks passing you while this is taking place?
We catch Whitey and Marlen. I notice that no one else is wearing eye wear so I pocket my specs. Bad move. While I can see, when a truck passed and blew up some spray, the spray contained grit and gravel that stung into my eye. For the next 30 minutes I'm fighting the pain in my eye wondering if it's scratched the retina or not. As we get into town, the rain lets up and the wind dies down. We coast to the bike shop and begin a long drip dry process. Dale purchases another tube and gets his tube filled up to pressure. W & M roll up and we decide to hit the BBQ place in town that we hit last year. It's not as crowded this year, which is good because we are a sloshy wet. Hot food is good. I notice that my fingers will not warm up. I brought gloves but they are not waterproof and would just make for damp skin covers. Whitey has his apertif while we wait for food. We all have a beer as well. Nebraska City marks the little over half way point of the trip. We're all still pretty high in spirit and another round of mustache compliments ensue. hell yeah!
Marlen checks his Evo to see if he can find the weather report but he can't get a signal. Whitey, who opposes technology, pulls out his eight year old cell phone and calls his wife, asks her to check the weather and then proudly states that he has the smart phone and Marlen just has an expensive paper weight. He says his goodbye. I'm sure his wife has hung up but Whitey says, "Oh wait, what's that? You want me to tell Marlen than his smart phone can eat shit? Ok!" Whitey has begun the Whitey McWhiterson phase... a phase that he will carry until the end of this crazy mustache ride... hell yeah!
Marlen decides his toosh has taken a pounding from the saddle already and needs some help. We head to Walgreens and make some purchases. Deets and bug fog are also picked up. We leave the store, the wind picks up and drip, drip, drip... "here comes the rain again, falling on my head like a new emotion." Alright nature, it's on! This time though, it's not a crosswind, it's into the teeth. Dale and I power in. I'm not real sure on the next 20 miles but I just know that once we get into Auburn I was starting to get dizzy. This wasn't a bonk or an exhaustion, this was just losing a little soul getting through the stretch. We fight up a hill expecting to coast down the other side but the wind and rain force us to pedal down the decent.
We stop at a convenience store. Our quick stop easily turned into an our and Whites and Marls join us and share their epic tales of fighting the freaking forces of nature and gravity. Only 24 miles to go. It's about 4pm and time to roll. Dale and I get plenty in front again, though now we are not sharing stories... we are on solo ride mode and digging into ourselves.
Brownville turn off. Near the home stretch but now the walls really begin. What's that? Up in the sky? A big ball of fire! OMG, the sun! It has returned. The rain is gone but the wind persists. Now Dale has taken his foot off the accelerator a bit and we talk. I mention that he's in the small ring. I haven't switched out of the big ring the whole time. He incredulously remarks that he's been small ringing it the whole trip. We swap cycling tactics and then notice the other has one fine mustache. hell yeah!
After passing Nemaha with it's infamous, "Only Store in Town" store we start to climb up. Long lung soakers that want to pull the air straight from your very being. Trailers with huge campers honk at us as we slowly struggle up to the apex. They are mad because they can't pass because they don't know whether something is coming from the other side of the top. When they can pass they pass real close as if to put us in our place. Bigger means better. Okay grampa "What's your big freaking hurry?" We get to the entrance of the park. Now the hard part begins.
The hard part is knowing that the cardiac hill is sitting there waiting for us. The cardiac hill is an ascent like few in this part of the country. A hill like this should not exist on the fruited plains. A hill like this makes a mountain road seem level. This hill is why the granny gear was made. Oh... but then it's over. Did I just make it? Alive, yup. Not dreaming, yup. A top the summit sits a pop machine. Normally I would say no but I needed sugar. We cheer to our accomplishment and to our fine fine fine mustaches. hell yeah!
We make our way to Whitey's truck and trailer. Whitey had given Dale the keys knowing we would make it there much sooner. We decide we need to shower and go to the facilities. On the way we pass a fine gentleman wearing an ARMY shirt and sporting... wait for it... a godly mustache! It puts ours' to shame! So full, so frothy, so white, so trimmed and shapely... all I could say was, "Nice mustache, sir." He doesn't even give my compliment the time of day. He doesn't need me to say that to know he has a fine fine fine mustache. hell yeah!
Hot water, so nice. I think I cleansed about two pounds of road grit off me that day. Afterward, the aqua socks really came into their own. We walk back to the truck only to find a horde of mosquitoes have descended upon our base. We quickly jump in the truck and kill any that breached our defenses. One trooper on the outside just sits on the window staring in at me. The look of lust burn deep in his eyes. We crack open a couple PBRs and begin the long wait.
I only took three photos from the weekend. I will try to add them tomorrow.
Wednesday night I got most of my packing done. Three sets of clothes, ipod, phone charger, aqua socks, shoes, flashlight, arm warmers, towel, cards, meds, hygiene supplies, leatherman tool and camera.
Thursday after work I stopped by CycleWorks to get a new headlight. Then to Hyvee and got some jerky, trailmix, peanut rolls, diet coke and beerzez. Then drove over to White'y house... which is practically in Waverly! Whitey was going to bags, food, drinks and sleeping bags down to Indian Caves that night with a pop-up camper and then drive back to Lincoln.
With all the supplies readied, I headed back home... and then went out and hit the bars. I was on vacation and there was nothing left to do but drank too muchzez. Midnight showed up early.
Next thing I know, it's 6:30am. Time for a quick shower, some oatmeal, down some water, get the bike supplies lined up. Most of what I needed fit into my camelback. Rain jacket, three spare tubes, bike pump, levers, nut roll, some jerky. I attached a bright tail light to it also. Got the shoes on, checked for keys. Put the wallet and the phone in a baggy to high tech waterproof them... Then out the door... Wait. I hate coming home to dishes. So I did the dishes. We were meeting at 8am... it's 7:40am. Crap, I'm going to be late.
Earlier in the week I got the bike tuned up and dialed in. I get to the garage and find dark skies above. Get the bike, put on the helmet, lock up the garage and I'm off. And the rain begins... I'm pushing hard to get to the starting point which was a Sinclair station across the street from Wal*Mart on Highway 2. Only 7 miles away. The wind was out of the South West which was the direction I was headed. The rain intensifies. I can barely see the bike path as my glasses blur with rain drops. My chamois(padded bike shorts) are thoroughly soaked. I push. The new light was rocking. Off in the distance I could see the strobe lighting up anything reflective. Take that bright beam cars!
I finally reach the Sinclair... Check the clock, 8:30am. Am I late? Nope but only two bikes there. Hmmm... There should be three. Whitey and Dale are there, sipping on coffee and having a smoke... WITH MUSTACHES! hell yeah!
Dale's brother Marlen flew in from Salt Lake City to go on this ride but forgot a helmet so he was over at Wal*Mart buying a new one. The rain had let up by this point so I was the only man soaked to the core. I should have gotten up at 6am and forgot the dishes. Oh well.
Marlen arrives and we all take some time to compliment each others' mustaches. hell yeah!
So customers ask what we're doing, you know, with our fine facial hairs. We tell them we're riding to Indian Caves. They look at our bikes, look at the skies which are now flashing with lightening in the distance and just shake their heads while saying good luck.
9am, one hour behind schedule and the trek in under way. For the first few miles we catch up from what's changed in our lives since last year. We roll through Bennett and all is fine. Dale and I surge ahead because Whitey and Marlen are on heavier bikes. I get some fine tips on how to hydrate for Gravel Worlds from Dale. We roll into Palmyra and take a nature break. A few minutes later Whitey and Marlen show up and get a coffee. We take off again after taking off the rain gear. The skies appear to be clearing. Maybe a band of t-storms rolled by this morning and it was just going to get hot and muggy? Again Dale and I separate from our compadres.
We come up to Unadilla but decide, "F that place," and continue on. We take a break in Syracuse. While I was in the men's room, some perv walks in on me. "Oh, I'm sorry." She quickly leaves. We all know she wanted to see the 'stache! hell yeah!
We fill up with water and take off again. We don't know if our fellow riders are in front of us or behind us still. Eventually another nature break is needed so we pull off on a side road with trees. Whitey and Marlen slowly make there way up the hill. Dale and I grotesquely wave at them to signal where we are, ten feet from them. They turn their heads as if to feint obliviousness to our location. But then they are compelled to stop and compliment our fine fine mustaches. hell yeah!
We all decide to get back on the road, well, shoulder. Whitey and Marlen muster up the lead and head out. Dale then looks in dismay and his rear is going soft. The whole time we were waiting for the slower element he could have been changing the tire. Drip, drip, drip... Dale has to change the tire as the rain makes another appearance. The tire pump he brought was a little shoddy so he can't get the new tube up to pressure. We get going again. The wind has picked up and the rain is steady. Dale is a strong rider so he really picked up the speed with the desire to get to Nebraska City ASAP because he only had the one spare tube. Going up hills that never seem to end, into a headwind, with the rain all around is a challenge. I usually spend my time scanning the ground to avoid nails, glass, dead raccoons and IEDs... but once again the rain made visibility almost non-existent. Oh, did I mention how fun it is to have semi-trucks passing you while this is taking place?
We catch Whitey and Marlen. I notice that no one else is wearing eye wear so I pocket my specs. Bad move. While I can see, when a truck passed and blew up some spray, the spray contained grit and gravel that stung into my eye. For the next 30 minutes I'm fighting the pain in my eye wondering if it's scratched the retina or not. As we get into town, the rain lets up and the wind dies down. We coast to the bike shop and begin a long drip dry process. Dale purchases another tube and gets his tube filled up to pressure. W & M roll up and we decide to hit the BBQ place in town that we hit last year. It's not as crowded this year, which is good because we are a sloshy wet. Hot food is good. I notice that my fingers will not warm up. I brought gloves but they are not waterproof and would just make for damp skin covers. Whitey has his apertif while we wait for food. We all have a beer as well. Nebraska City marks the little over half way point of the trip. We're all still pretty high in spirit and another round of mustache compliments ensue. hell yeah!
Marlen checks his Evo to see if he can find the weather report but he can't get a signal. Whitey, who opposes technology, pulls out his eight year old cell phone and calls his wife, asks her to check the weather and then proudly states that he has the smart phone and Marlen just has an expensive paper weight. He says his goodbye. I'm sure his wife has hung up but Whitey says, "Oh wait, what's that? You want me to tell Marlen than his smart phone can eat shit? Ok!" Whitey has begun the Whitey McWhiterson phase... a phase that he will carry until the end of this crazy mustache ride... hell yeah!
Marlen decides his toosh has taken a pounding from the saddle already and needs some help. We head to Walgreens and make some purchases. Deets and bug fog are also picked up. We leave the store, the wind picks up and drip, drip, drip... "here comes the rain again, falling on my head like a new emotion." Alright nature, it's on! This time though, it's not a crosswind, it's into the teeth. Dale and I power in. I'm not real sure on the next 20 miles but I just know that once we get into Auburn I was starting to get dizzy. This wasn't a bonk or an exhaustion, this was just losing a little soul getting through the stretch. We fight up a hill expecting to coast down the other side but the wind and rain force us to pedal down the decent.
We stop at a convenience store. Our quick stop easily turned into an our and Whites and Marls join us and share their epic tales of fighting the freaking forces of nature and gravity. Only 24 miles to go. It's about 4pm and time to roll. Dale and I get plenty in front again, though now we are not sharing stories... we are on solo ride mode and digging into ourselves.
Brownville turn off. Near the home stretch but now the walls really begin. What's that? Up in the sky? A big ball of fire! OMG, the sun! It has returned. The rain is gone but the wind persists. Now Dale has taken his foot off the accelerator a bit and we talk. I mention that he's in the small ring. I haven't switched out of the big ring the whole time. He incredulously remarks that he's been small ringing it the whole trip. We swap cycling tactics and then notice the other has one fine mustache. hell yeah!
After passing Nemaha with it's infamous, "Only Store in Town" store we start to climb up. Long lung soakers that want to pull the air straight from your very being. Trailers with huge campers honk at us as we slowly struggle up to the apex. They are mad because they can't pass because they don't know whether something is coming from the other side of the top. When they can pass they pass real close as if to put us in our place. Bigger means better. Okay grampa "What's your big freaking hurry?" We get to the entrance of the park. Now the hard part begins.
The hard part is knowing that the cardiac hill is sitting there waiting for us. The cardiac hill is an ascent like few in this part of the country. A hill like this should not exist on the fruited plains. A hill like this makes a mountain road seem level. This hill is why the granny gear was made. Oh... but then it's over. Did I just make it? Alive, yup. Not dreaming, yup. A top the summit sits a pop machine. Normally I would say no but I needed sugar. We cheer to our accomplishment and to our fine fine fine mustaches. hell yeah!
We make our way to Whitey's truck and trailer. Whitey had given Dale the keys knowing we would make it there much sooner. We decide we need to shower and go to the facilities. On the way we pass a fine gentleman wearing an ARMY shirt and sporting... wait for it... a godly mustache! It puts ours' to shame! So full, so frothy, so white, so trimmed and shapely... all I could say was, "Nice mustache, sir." He doesn't even give my compliment the time of day. He doesn't need me to say that to know he has a fine fine fine mustache. hell yeah!
Hot water, so nice. I think I cleansed about two pounds of road grit off me that day. Afterward, the aqua socks really came into their own. We walk back to the truck only to find a horde of mosquitoes have descended upon our base. We quickly jump in the truck and kill any that breached our defenses. One trooper on the outside just sits on the window staring in at me. The look of lust burn deep in his eyes. We crack open a couple PBRs and begin the long wait.