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Comments 9

laceymoibella August 17 2011, 02:35:39 UTC
I love, love, love the first version!

Must be something in the air tonight. Seriously, go read my latest post and you'll understand.

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patricia_writes August 17 2011, 14:39:49 UTC
I love the sky...your picture is gorgeous.

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patricia_writes August 17 2011, 14:40:21 UTC
I think I do too. I was going for surreal, so I'm glad that came across. Thanks for the feedback.

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magnetic_pole August 17 2011, 03:53:27 UTC
Fun! Authors rarely post different versions like this. I enjoyed comparing the two. You managed to get really different feels with just a few changes. M.

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patricia_writes August 17 2011, 14:41:20 UTC
It's a real exercise for me to do this with passages. I think too often we scrap something completely and don't save the original version. It's useful to save them and think about how they're different. Hard to do with entire chapters, but I've been pulling pieces of things out here and there and fiddling with them like this.

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authoress_susan August 18 2011, 13:51:20 UTC
Mmmmmm.... First one, definitely. Lovely imagery!

YOU'RE WRITING AGAIN! YES!

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patricia_writes August 18 2011, 15:01:10 UTC
A little....

But yes, I've been working on ACS too....so hard to find time.

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laudomia August 29 2011, 23:03:47 UTC
Depends on what you want to achieve. The first version is more about the narrator while the second is more about the setting. Also, the second is darker.

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patricia_writes August 30 2011, 01:55:57 UTC
I do like my darker...And your userpic. Very cool! *hugs* Good to see you.

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