Fun! Authors rarely post different versions like this. I enjoyed comparing the two. You managed to get really different feels with just a few changes. M.
It's a real exercise for me to do this with passages. I think too often we scrap something completely and don't save the original version. It's useful to save them and think about how they're different. Hard to do with entire chapters, but I've been pulling pieces of things out here and there and fiddling with them like this.
Depends on what you want to achieve. The first version is more about the narrator while the second is more about the setting. Also, the second is darker.
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Must be something in the air tonight. Seriously, go read my latest post and you'll understand.
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YOU'RE WRITING AGAIN! YES!
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But yes, I've been working on ACS too....so hard to find time.
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