*cracks knuckles*
It's about that time again;
For your irregularly scheduled wolf update.
Where to begin?
Well let's start with work, For a little over 6 months now I've been working as a despatch guy with the city mint, Not entirely sure how much detail I should / can go into with this because it seems half-half between 'hush hush' and 'business as usual' with various parties. Though I will say sometimes the draconian enforcement of asinine OHS rules or procedures seems to fly in the face of so called higher ups for no reason other than them pulling rank to over-rule it all in favour that it suits them better at that moment. Picking up two 13kg boxes, one in each arm? no problem for me personally. "WHERE'S YOUR TROLLEY?!?!?!?!Oneity1!!!" Stepping out in front of a powered pallet jack with 500+ KG of material loaded? pfft, I can stop on a dime and wait for them to keep walking in front of me or for them to finish their conversation. in short 'FUCK OFF'.
This is a sour point for me because I've previously become accustomed to places of work where it was just shy of a pissing contest of who could do the most of whatever without breaking or being entirely stupid about it. Of course I won't attempt to spend my days shuffling a 60Kg (~132lbs ) item about, that's a bit much for me personally, but if you're going to spend all day blowing hot wind about what I can and cannot do, I would appreciate it if you would respect your own rulings. My direct boss isn't so bad about it but I work essentially between two departments and deal with about four departments in total as part of what I do, yet I seem to be viewed as little more than a pair of flimsy arms that happens to walk away with a set monetary sum in exchange for my presence... the sum isn't good or bad enough to make me angry about the situation, but it's the damned principle of the whole thing. if I can confidently shuffle a weight, stop stopping me. if you can't respect your own right-of-way demands enforced unto your underlings, how can you expect me to no be outraged when you so ignorantly defy said demands.
Home life is so-so. I've been playing some GTA:V - Online but for the most part have shown little interest in the mission or activity side of it all. instead I spend my time merely enjoying a quiet drive up a hill or poking about to see if there is anything interesting. Between gamers that are more advanced than myself, or the mass of buffoons who insist on being little shits in the mere name of so-called trolling, I find little joy in engaging with other players. Outside of GTA I find myself doing the usual trick of taking things easy out of working hours, letting each day flow on, possibly wasted, and keeping minor tabs on happenings surrounding me. There's a rental inspection coming up later next week which is business as usual as far as that goes, I have some electronics to rid myself of before then, spare computer bits have been adding up over the last short few months.
Mentally I'm actually in an OK place, there isn't anything meaningful to bother my day, that is to say I'm free of woes, but I find myself increasingly unstimulated. I burn a little with the urge to just hammer away at the keyboard and drivel endlessly but to what end? to whom? So many I've known are reasonably engaged in their endeavours that I find myself kind of just sitting here thinking 'now what?' go out and find a partner? pfft! I have a lot of understanding and respect for the fairer sex [ being straight, as if anyone thought otherwise ] but my options seem, well, limited I suppose? perhaps I'll be too picky for my own good or there's and angle I'm not seeing to try. ( TMI ) I do miss a good jolly rogering... been dry for far longer than the average whiner!
Aside from that, business is essentially as usual. I lack outlets because I tend to be reactive rather than active in nature, or at least I consider myself to be a reactive type person. I've been mostly paws-off the local furry community mostly out of disassociation, not to say they're bad people, far from it, I just don't feel anything meaningful to them. Perhaps this is the trouble with marching to the beat of ones own drum, it's hard to find a match to the rhythm and so there is this out-of-place sensation wherever I turn.
I can't say I'm bitter, stressed, distressed or apathetic but I do feel there is this lack of fulfilment or satisfaction in my days, so maybe I actually do feel pretty crappy but don't realise it.. Though I do figure a meh kind of day would pale in comparison to what others go through. Hard to tell for sure. I do know I got more joy with the more positive environment of my last job, the current one isn't bad per say... but I'm not exactly emotionally invested in it.
There are little things that bother me, the usual rant about lack of skill among the general public on the roads, the above mentioned workplace lunacy, other minor niggles like a sense of being stuck, not so much with no one to talk to, but rather having nothing to say. I'm not engaged I suppose is the problem, lacking something to butt my head against, to either challenge my mind or focus some energy toward in a healthy manner.
So this pretty much concludes your irregular update. I've been very lazy with the 'happening' updates... I guess my heart just wasn't entirely in it.
Bonus question for those that skip to the bottom or read through the wall of me chasing my own tail;
What drives you forward, What do you seek to achieve? short term / long term doesn't matter, I'd just be interested to see helps you along your march, My lack of personal direction means this is all open and foreign to me.
For your irregularly scheduled wolf update.
Where to begin?
Well let's start with work, For a little over 6 months now I've been working as a despatch guy with the city mint, Not entirely sure how much detail I should / can go into with this because it seems half-half between 'hush hush' and 'business as usual' with various parties. Though I will say sometimes the draconian enforcement of asinine OHS rules or procedures seems to fly in the face of so called higher ups for no reason other than them pulling rank to over-rule it all in favour that it suits them better at that moment. Picking up two 13kg boxes, one in each arm? no problem for me personally. "WHERE'S YOUR TROLLEY?!?!?!?!Oneity1!!!" Stepping out in front of a powered pallet jack with 500+ KG of material loaded? pfft, I can stop on a dime and wait for them to keep walking in front of me or for them to finish their conversation. in short 'FUCK OFF'.
This is a sour point for me because I've previously become accustomed to places of work where it was just shy of a pissing contest of who could do the most of whatever without breaking or being entirely stupid about it. Of course I won't attempt to spend my days shuffling a 60Kg (~132lbs ) item about, that's a bit much for me personally, but if you're going to spend all day blowing hot wind about what I can and cannot do, I would appreciate it if you would respect your own rulings. My direct boss isn't so bad about it but I work essentially between two departments and deal with about four departments in total as part of what I do, yet I seem to be viewed as little more than a pair of flimsy arms that happens to walk away with a set monetary sum in exchange for my presence... the sum isn't good or bad enough to make me angry about the situation, but it's the damned principle of the whole thing. if I can confidently shuffle a weight, stop stopping me. if you can't respect your own right-of-way demands enforced unto your underlings, how can you expect me to no be outraged when you so ignorantly defy said demands.
Home life is so-so. I've been playing some GTA:V - Online but for the most part have shown little interest in the mission or activity side of it all. instead I spend my time merely enjoying a quiet drive up a hill or poking about to see if there is anything interesting. Between gamers that are more advanced than myself, or the mass of buffoons who insist on being little shits in the mere name of so-called trolling, I find little joy in engaging with other players. Outside of GTA I find myself doing the usual trick of taking things easy out of working hours, letting each day flow on, possibly wasted, and keeping minor tabs on happenings surrounding me. There's a rental inspection coming up later next week which is business as usual as far as that goes, I have some electronics to rid myself of before then, spare computer bits have been adding up over the last short few months.
Mentally I'm actually in an OK place, there isn't anything meaningful to bother my day, that is to say I'm free of woes, but I find myself increasingly unstimulated. I burn a little with the urge to just hammer away at the keyboard and drivel endlessly but to what end? to whom? So many I've known are reasonably engaged in their endeavours that I find myself kind of just sitting here thinking 'now what?' go out and find a partner? pfft! I have a lot of understanding and respect for the fairer sex [ being straight, as if anyone thought otherwise ] but my options seem, well, limited I suppose? perhaps I'll be too picky for my own good or there's and angle I'm not seeing to try. ( TMI ) I do miss a good jolly rogering... been dry for far longer than the average whiner!
Aside from that, business is essentially as usual. I lack outlets because I tend to be reactive rather than active in nature, or at least I consider myself to be a reactive type person. I've been mostly paws-off the local furry community mostly out of disassociation, not to say they're bad people, far from it, I just don't feel anything meaningful to them. Perhaps this is the trouble with marching to the beat of ones own drum, it's hard to find a match to the rhythm and so there is this out-of-place sensation wherever I turn.
I can't say I'm bitter, stressed, distressed or apathetic but I do feel there is this lack of fulfilment or satisfaction in my days, so maybe I actually do feel pretty crappy but don't realise it.. Though I do figure a meh kind of day would pale in comparison to what others go through. Hard to tell for sure. I do know I got more joy with the more positive environment of my last job, the current one isn't bad per say... but I'm not exactly emotionally invested in it.
There are little things that bother me, the usual rant about lack of skill among the general public on the roads, the above mentioned workplace lunacy, other minor niggles like a sense of being stuck, not so much with no one to talk to, but rather having nothing to say. I'm not engaged I suppose is the problem, lacking something to butt my head against, to either challenge my mind or focus some energy toward in a healthy manner.
So this pretty much concludes your irregular update. I've been very lazy with the 'happening' updates... I guess my heart just wasn't entirely in it.
Bonus question for those that skip to the bottom or read through the wall of me chasing my own tail;
What drives you forward, What do you seek to achieve? short term / long term doesn't matter, I'd just be interested to see helps you along your march, My lack of personal direction means this is all open and foreign to me.