Seven Months
Well, a little over seven months.
But what's happened?
Good question. I hit 30, was moved from being a casual contractor to a full-time employee ( minor pay increase, no change in working conditions / role ) Company has pushed past 365days since the last LTI, I may hold a record as most devoted worker at 2 years of employment and only three days off that weren't public holidays ( one day sick, one day berevement, one day planned off to help Laz shift house, because I like to think myself reliable like that )
What else? I'm still kindof-sortof arms length away from furries, I speak to some, I poke my nsoe about now and then but I'm not really active. I flipped through some of my old posts, not a whole lot has changed, work sleep distract repeat.
I do find myself biting my tongue a lot, and clue in social media with an 'ow my tongue' report, which is to basially say "I have prevented myself from saying what sprang to mind, out of respect, despite the fact that I want to say it anyway" because being snarky or bitter does nothing to improve this world, so outright bitching is pointless.... irony? possibly.
Aside from a few misadventures this year ranging from off-roading my car to surprising effect to not doing brilliantly as a amature photographer at a con ( supanova ) there really isn't much to report. I've re-sprayed the bumper on my car to fix the chipping paintwork but decided to add my tattoo design to the side for a spot of flair. work is in that uneasy stage of the year where they want everything resolved, order wise, but we can't get the stock we need to do it. but they want everything resolved, orderwise, in spite of the lack of stock to get everything they want resolved, orderwise... ah you get the idea. it's a little dumb to make a big point about ensuring things are taken care of, only to shrug off the fact that some things can't be done thanks to other departments, so rock, hard place, we have all been there.
Oh now theres a topic. I skim-watched Inside out recently. yeah, skimmed through it to understand what was going on overall rather than outright watching it through. but the concept of the emotions and the duality of their roles, given the main char's sadness wasn't given a chance to develop, and how understanding and working through sadness helps people develop empathy struck a chord with me. I feel I struggle with empathy because I haven't really experienced the spectrum of situations the average person has, and my way of coping is a little left-field so I don't go through what people would stereotypically go through in tougher emotional times.
the point being, when someone suffers a loss, or has their heart broken really feels down in the dumps, I understand the concept beind those pains, but am clueless as to how to help. in suffering a loss, there's been three that were big to me, my family dog, my grandmother and my father passing, I greived over the dog for a day but moved forward, in the case of my grandmother, I reflected on how dedicated to being a good person in life she was, that I felt proud of her impact more than hurt by the loss. in the case of my father, I respected him greatly growing up, he was my superman, the unstoppable force that was more tangible and real than any hero or deity. I felt he was taken early, but I swear in my family he imparted one meme; Determination. if anyone among my siblings put our feet down, that'll be the end of it. no stopping.
I like to consider myself rather easy-going compared to my siblings, so this trait doesn't pop up so often within me, but at my fathers passing, I felt determined, determined that I would remember fondly of him as the role model that raised me, as the jokester that sought a good laugh, as the kind of guy that did not tolerate bullshit, but wasn't always on the books, as it were.
So back on topic, I struggle with empathy because I don't understand. I'd just look forward, nod to the past and keep walking, finding it odd when others may fall. it's not weakness on their part, it's just more than they could bear I suppose. there is little weight upon my shoulders, so I remain free to walk. now if I could just work out this ambution deal, I'd be set.
So, in summary, I'm older, not any more or less wiser, still very confused by emotions rather than logic and somehow maintain an air of determination. but I suppose the question begs; What's your favorite trait in a role-model? ( be it parent, figurehead, surrogate or just someone you respect )
But what's happened?
Good question. I hit 30, was moved from being a casual contractor to a full-time employee ( minor pay increase, no change in working conditions / role ) Company has pushed past 365days since the last LTI, I may hold a record as most devoted worker at 2 years of employment and only three days off that weren't public holidays ( one day sick, one day berevement, one day planned off to help Laz shift house, because I like to think myself reliable like that )
What else? I'm still kindof-sortof arms length away from furries, I speak to some, I poke my nsoe about now and then but I'm not really active. I flipped through some of my old posts, not a whole lot has changed, work sleep distract repeat.
I do find myself biting my tongue a lot, and clue in social media with an 'ow my tongue' report, which is to basially say "I have prevented myself from saying what sprang to mind, out of respect, despite the fact that I want to say it anyway" because being snarky or bitter does nothing to improve this world, so outright bitching is pointless.... irony? possibly.
Aside from a few misadventures this year ranging from off-roading my car to surprising effect to not doing brilliantly as a amature photographer at a con ( supanova ) there really isn't much to report. I've re-sprayed the bumper on my car to fix the chipping paintwork but decided to add my tattoo design to the side for a spot of flair. work is in that uneasy stage of the year where they want everything resolved, order wise, but we can't get the stock we need to do it. but they want everything resolved, orderwise, in spite of the lack of stock to get everything they want resolved, orderwise... ah you get the idea. it's a little dumb to make a big point about ensuring things are taken care of, only to shrug off the fact that some things can't be done thanks to other departments, so rock, hard place, we have all been there.
Oh now theres a topic. I skim-watched Inside out recently. yeah, skimmed through it to understand what was going on overall rather than outright watching it through. but the concept of the emotions and the duality of their roles, given the main char's sadness wasn't given a chance to develop, and how understanding and working through sadness helps people develop empathy struck a chord with me. I feel I struggle with empathy because I haven't really experienced the spectrum of situations the average person has, and my way of coping is a little left-field so I don't go through what people would stereotypically go through in tougher emotional times.
the point being, when someone suffers a loss, or has their heart broken really feels down in the dumps, I understand the concept beind those pains, but am clueless as to how to help. in suffering a loss, there's been three that were big to me, my family dog, my grandmother and my father passing, I greived over the dog for a day but moved forward, in the case of my grandmother, I reflected on how dedicated to being a good person in life she was, that I felt proud of her impact more than hurt by the loss. in the case of my father, I respected him greatly growing up, he was my superman, the unstoppable force that was more tangible and real than any hero or deity. I felt he was taken early, but I swear in my family he imparted one meme; Determination. if anyone among my siblings put our feet down, that'll be the end of it. no stopping.
I like to consider myself rather easy-going compared to my siblings, so this trait doesn't pop up so often within me, but at my fathers passing, I felt determined, determined that I would remember fondly of him as the role model that raised me, as the jokester that sought a good laugh, as the kind of guy that did not tolerate bullshit, but wasn't always on the books, as it were.
So back on topic, I struggle with empathy because I don't understand. I'd just look forward, nod to the past and keep walking, finding it odd when others may fall. it's not weakness on their part, it's just more than they could bear I suppose. there is little weight upon my shoulders, so I remain free to walk. now if I could just work out this ambution deal, I'd be set.
So, in summary, I'm older, not any more or less wiser, still very confused by emotions rather than logic and somehow maintain an air of determination. but I suppose the question begs; What's your favorite trait in a role-model? ( be it parent, figurehead, surrogate or just someone you respect )