Fic: In Another's Eyes (Chapter Five)
Title: In Another’s Eyes
Fandom: The Avengers (AU-Cinematic Universe)
Characters: Antonia “Toni” Stark, Steve Rogers, others.
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Toni/Steve
Warnings: Mentions of Non-Con, bondage
Summary: A stalker is targeting Toni, which skews how she sees herself and how she allows others to see her.
( Chapter One) ( Chapter Two) ( Chapter Three) ( Chapter Four)
Toni didn’t actually go to bed that night; after Cap told her that she was a good cook she felt the overwhelming urge to build a pair of rocket boots. Cap needed a pair of rocket boots, didn’t he? Of course he did, who didn’t need a pair of rocket boots? …Hulk. Hulk did not need a pair of rocket boots. No good would come of it.
She’s about half way through making the first boot-she’s based it on the designs for the Iron Man boots, but is trying to make it idiot proof to use. Voice commands, maybe, she’s not sure yet-when she realizes what she told Cap at dinner. Somehow, in the midst of what was left of her trauma induced adrenaline rush, her mouth had run faster than her brain and she had told him everything. She rested her face in her arms on the table in front of her. She hadn’t meant to tell him that…
Her body was in her workshop in New York, but her mind was back in Afghanistan. Toni couldn’t forget that night if she tried; she was taken from the prison she shared with Yinsen and thrown into a smaller, darker room. She was naked, her wrists bound tightly behind her. Two men came in and they took turns fucking her. She shivers as she remembers it; the fingernails clawing at her skin, the bites on her neck, the burns her breasts, the intense pain… that’s what it was about, after all. It wasn’t about sex, it was about pain and power and it wasn’t going to stop until she gave in. After hours and hours of their torture, she had finally agreed to make the missile.
They didn’t give her back her clothes, didn’t even untie her before throwing her back in with Yinsen. He didn’t bat an eyelash; he untied her hands and gave her his own shirt before tending to her fresh wounds. They sat in silence until she told him that she had agreed to build the missile.
“Did you?” he asked, wrapping a bandage around a burn on her arm. “When do you start working?”
“On the missile?” she asked. “Never.” Yinsen looked up at her, smiling. They spent the rest of the night planning what would become Iron Man Mach I and building the arch reactor. She slowed down for him, but only when it was obvious that he wasn’t following what she was saying. They built the suit in three months, but he never got to see it in action… he died buying her time to escape. She would never forget that.
Somewhere in the midst of all of those memories, she had leaned too far back in her chair and fell onto the floor, not realizing it until the rocket boot clattered to the concrete, abruptly yanking her out of the past and back into her workshop. After assuring Jarvis that she was fine-“Just some more bruises to add to my collection, Jarvis!”-she realized that she was crying. This is how she dealt with her memories of Afghanistan most of the time, crying alone in her workshop. Probably wasn’t healthy. She blinked a few times, bringing the room back to focus. She’s thinking about everything she sees right now. Why didn’t anyone see the world the way she did? She didn’t mean politics or anything, physically see the world like she did.
Right now she’s lying on her back on the floor of her workshop, gazing casually at the ceiling. Out of the corners of her eyes she can see various items including, but not limited to a broken lamp, Christmas lights that have been hanging up for years, the house’s old fuse box that had to be replaced before she moved in, various pipes and a faux fur coat that someone had gotten her years ago. Everyone else would see this as just a random assortment of junk in the workshop of an eccentric billionaire… Toni could see it put together in at least six different ways, all of which resulted in a sort of pet for Thor. Thor was her favorite-the way he laughed in the middle of battle, swinging his hammer like a yoyo, how couldn’t he be?-and if he wanted some sort of pet, she was going to find a way to get him one without Fury pitching a fit. There were days when she wanted to show up at S.H.I.E.L.D. with the most adorable kitten she could find and plop it right into Thor’s lap with a big red bow. Try to make him get rid of it, Fury, she thought. Not even Natasha would back you on it.
But that’s not all she sees; Toni sees how alive this world is. She sees the life in everything, in the robots that she built to help her in the workshop (yes, even Dummy), in the roses that her gardener manages to keep alive every summer… in Cap. God, she sees so much life in him and it blinds her sometimes.
It also tends to remind her how completely awful she is.
Toni would never admit it, but she didn’t break Clint’s nose because he was wrong. Honestly, she just wanted him to shut up and to get out of there. She would have punched Fury himself if that would have given her an escape route. Clint Barton wasn’t wrong about her… she was a tease. She was a tease because that kept people at a distance… and the ones that saw past that tended to get hurt. Like Pepper…
“Oh, Pepper…” she whispered, closing her eyes. She had loved Pepper. Adored her, absolutely adored her… Pepper was the only woman Toni had ever been with. She thought of the nights she had been in danger, how she had flown in to save her just in the nick of time… how she had tried so hard to be good to her. It was never going to work. They knew each other too well to stay together… but while Pepper would always tell her it was a mutual break up, Toni would always believe that the failure was her fault. They were still friends; no one knew Toni like Pepper did and probably no one ever would. She still loved her redheaded angel. She always would.
That, of course, is where everything got really fucking complicated.
Before Pepper, Toni had only been in love once. When she was a child, she had fallen hopelessly in love with Captain Steve Rogers. Not Captain America; sure, she had read all of her dad’s old comic books about Captain America, she saw the films he had starred in… hell, “Star Spangled Man” was on Playlist 42 (And yes, she knew all the words). But that wasn’t the man she fell for. She had read her father’s old files, she had learned about the scrawny kid from Brooklyn whose heart made up 90% of his muscles. She read about how he threw himself on top of (what he thought was) a live grenade, when soldiers twice his size cowered behind whatever shelter they could find. She watched the films; not only the reconnaissance films that showed their progress in taking down HYDRA (How did her father get his hands on those?), but the films from the day he was exposed to the serum. She could hear the pain in his voice as he screamed “No! I can do this!” and the worry on her dad’s face as he continued the procedure. That was the Captain she had fallen in love with… the one that was way too good for her.
“Toni?” She opened her eyes; Steve was standing over her, a concerned look on his face. She was very aware of the fact he was in just his boxers and a pair of socks. “Jarvis woke me up, said you’d fallen… are you alright?”
“No,” she replied, a sad smile curling her lips. “But that’s normal, so it’s okay.” Steve didn’t seem to like this answer. He knelt down beside her and lifted her into his arms. She snuggled close to him, closing her eyes again.
“I won’t let them hurt you again, Toni,” he said softly as he carried her out of the workshop.
She believed him.
Fandom: The Avengers (AU-Cinematic Universe)
Characters: Antonia “Toni” Stark, Steve Rogers, others.
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Toni/Steve
Warnings: Mentions of Non-Con, bondage
Summary: A stalker is targeting Toni, which skews how she sees herself and how she allows others to see her.
( Chapter One) ( Chapter Two) ( Chapter Three) ( Chapter Four)
Toni didn’t actually go to bed that night; after Cap told her that she was a good cook she felt the overwhelming urge to build a pair of rocket boots. Cap needed a pair of rocket boots, didn’t he? Of course he did, who didn’t need a pair of rocket boots? …Hulk. Hulk did not need a pair of rocket boots. No good would come of it.
She’s about half way through making the first boot-she’s based it on the designs for the Iron Man boots, but is trying to make it idiot proof to use. Voice commands, maybe, she’s not sure yet-when she realizes what she told Cap at dinner. Somehow, in the midst of what was left of her trauma induced adrenaline rush, her mouth had run faster than her brain and she had told him everything. She rested her face in her arms on the table in front of her. She hadn’t meant to tell him that…
Her body was in her workshop in New York, but her mind was back in Afghanistan. Toni couldn’t forget that night if she tried; she was taken from the prison she shared with Yinsen and thrown into a smaller, darker room. She was naked, her wrists bound tightly behind her. Two men came in and they took turns fucking her. She shivers as she remembers it; the fingernails clawing at her skin, the bites on her neck, the burns her breasts, the intense pain… that’s what it was about, after all. It wasn’t about sex, it was about pain and power and it wasn’t going to stop until she gave in. After hours and hours of their torture, she had finally agreed to make the missile.
They didn’t give her back her clothes, didn’t even untie her before throwing her back in with Yinsen. He didn’t bat an eyelash; he untied her hands and gave her his own shirt before tending to her fresh wounds. They sat in silence until she told him that she had agreed to build the missile.
“Did you?” he asked, wrapping a bandage around a burn on her arm. “When do you start working?”
“On the missile?” she asked. “Never.” Yinsen looked up at her, smiling. They spent the rest of the night planning what would become Iron Man Mach I and building the arch reactor. She slowed down for him, but only when it was obvious that he wasn’t following what she was saying. They built the suit in three months, but he never got to see it in action… he died buying her time to escape. She would never forget that.
Somewhere in the midst of all of those memories, she had leaned too far back in her chair and fell onto the floor, not realizing it until the rocket boot clattered to the concrete, abruptly yanking her out of the past and back into her workshop. After assuring Jarvis that she was fine-“Just some more bruises to add to my collection, Jarvis!”-she realized that she was crying. This is how she dealt with her memories of Afghanistan most of the time, crying alone in her workshop. Probably wasn’t healthy. She blinked a few times, bringing the room back to focus. She’s thinking about everything she sees right now. Why didn’t anyone see the world the way she did? She didn’t mean politics or anything, physically see the world like she did.
Right now she’s lying on her back on the floor of her workshop, gazing casually at the ceiling. Out of the corners of her eyes she can see various items including, but not limited to a broken lamp, Christmas lights that have been hanging up for years, the house’s old fuse box that had to be replaced before she moved in, various pipes and a faux fur coat that someone had gotten her years ago. Everyone else would see this as just a random assortment of junk in the workshop of an eccentric billionaire… Toni could see it put together in at least six different ways, all of which resulted in a sort of pet for Thor. Thor was her favorite-the way he laughed in the middle of battle, swinging his hammer like a yoyo, how couldn’t he be?-and if he wanted some sort of pet, she was going to find a way to get him one without Fury pitching a fit. There were days when she wanted to show up at S.H.I.E.L.D. with the most adorable kitten she could find and plop it right into Thor’s lap with a big red bow. Try to make him get rid of it, Fury, she thought. Not even Natasha would back you on it.
But that’s not all she sees; Toni sees how alive this world is. She sees the life in everything, in the robots that she built to help her in the workshop (yes, even Dummy), in the roses that her gardener manages to keep alive every summer… in Cap. God, she sees so much life in him and it blinds her sometimes.
It also tends to remind her how completely awful she is.
Toni would never admit it, but she didn’t break Clint’s nose because he was wrong. Honestly, she just wanted him to shut up and to get out of there. She would have punched Fury himself if that would have given her an escape route. Clint Barton wasn’t wrong about her… she was a tease. She was a tease because that kept people at a distance… and the ones that saw past that tended to get hurt. Like Pepper…
“Oh, Pepper…” she whispered, closing her eyes. She had loved Pepper. Adored her, absolutely adored her… Pepper was the only woman Toni had ever been with. She thought of the nights she had been in danger, how she had flown in to save her just in the nick of time… how she had tried so hard to be good to her. It was never going to work. They knew each other too well to stay together… but while Pepper would always tell her it was a mutual break up, Toni would always believe that the failure was her fault. They were still friends; no one knew Toni like Pepper did and probably no one ever would. She still loved her redheaded angel. She always would.
That, of course, is where everything got really fucking complicated.
Before Pepper, Toni had only been in love once. When she was a child, she had fallen hopelessly in love with Captain Steve Rogers. Not Captain America; sure, she had read all of her dad’s old comic books about Captain America, she saw the films he had starred in… hell, “Star Spangled Man” was on Playlist 42 (And yes, she knew all the words). But that wasn’t the man she fell for. She had read her father’s old files, she had learned about the scrawny kid from Brooklyn whose heart made up 90% of his muscles. She read about how he threw himself on top of (what he thought was) a live grenade, when soldiers twice his size cowered behind whatever shelter they could find. She watched the films; not only the reconnaissance films that showed their progress in taking down HYDRA (How did her father get his hands on those?), but the films from the day he was exposed to the serum. She could hear the pain in his voice as he screamed “No! I can do this!” and the worry on her dad’s face as he continued the procedure. That was the Captain she had fallen in love with… the one that was way too good for her.
“Toni?” She opened her eyes; Steve was standing over her, a concerned look on his face. She was very aware of the fact he was in just his boxers and a pair of socks. “Jarvis woke me up, said you’d fallen… are you alright?”
“No,” she replied, a sad smile curling her lips. “But that’s normal, so it’s okay.” Steve didn’t seem to like this answer. He knelt down beside her and lifted her into his arms. She snuggled close to him, closing her eyes again.
“I won’t let them hurt you again, Toni,” he said softly as he carried her out of the workshop.
She believed him.