Support in Unexpected Places

[paytonlj]

I talked to Lauren (his daughter) on the phone. Lauren was excited he met me. She explained how tough it is with her mom and how tough that relationship is for her dad. She says she loves her mother, but her mother is the type that keeps score for everything (if I did this, you had better do something of equal value). I learned a lot about

Comments

[tristanwolf]

hmm still bizarre. the bringing his daughter into it at this point seems bizarre as well. if he hasn't left the wife when he should have for 10 years, why would he now?
i wish you the best and i hope things go right but this just has the markings of so many similar relationships that turn out bad in the past. just..like...the older guy tells younger girl he will split with wife soon, soon, yada yada, then drags her along for a year until he either gets bored of the affair or finds new girl to start affair with. and meanwhile the wife stays and the younger woman is frustrated with herself for wasting her time.
1-have you asked him when he is actually gonna get divorced? or in 6 months from now is he gonna say, well the "process" is going on still?
2- have you asked him about the other women he has been with before you?

again- i hope you don't think of me as being a pessimistic ass, just looking at the situation in a analytical way from an outsider.
x~

[paytonlj]

I don't mind your outsider comments at all. I'm well aware of the pitfalls and all that. I made a concious decision to give this a try only because he has shown to me what a great friend he can be. His divorce is nearly finalized, probably a month away. His wife already knows that he has started a new relationship and she is ok with it. I know that sounds strange, but this marriage hasn't been a marriage for quite some time. I'm also told by his daughter that they are quite civil with each other although they do have their tough times together.

And we have talked about other women and he has never explored outside his marriage before. The only other women he has been with would be women before he was married.

I'm giving this a chance, full aware that this may lead no where.

[changesss]

"if he hasn't left the wife when he should have for 10 years, why would he now?" I guess I can explain. Or at least give you some situation in which this is possible. I'm now with my wife for 4 years already. I have a son born couple months ago. And I see my wife isn't a person I want to live with (I really have a hard time with her every day). Tho I can't just break it right now, because of my child, because he needs my support and will need it for years more. I just don't want to break his life. My one can wait instead. So probably in some years I'll start thinking of divorcing too. We'll see...

I also guess that guy has some different situation. But everything is possible, and there are examples.

[paytonlj]

That's a good point. The process of divorce had already started before I met him though. And it's nearly done.