[Fic] Move On
Title: Move On
Author: queen_kat_tun
Beta: bankai_babe
Pairing: mentions of Jin x Kame, Uchi x Kame
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst, Romance
Disclaimer: All standard RPS disclaimer applies.
Word Count: 1532
Summary: Kame knew things would never be the same ever since Jin left the group.
A/N: A bit Kame-centric. No happy ending for Akame… :\ and yes, I now officially ship Uchi/Kame. <3
--
Looking at Uchi was like looking into a mirror. He could see himself in the younger man and was aware of the fact that what drew him to the younger male most were his traits of perseverance, optimism and how Uchi cherished everything that had been a part of his life.
Kame knew things would never be the same after Jin left the group. He knew about it. The others knew about it and they all knew that there was no point in holding Jin back so they decided to let him go and pursue their own dreams in their own ways.
What he didn't expect was the fact that with it came Jin's decision to stop whatever it was that they had. When Jin came to him and told him of his dreams and all that he wanted in his life, Kame knew he wouldn't be able to say no. He couldn't. He shouldn't. He didn't have the right to stop Jin from chasing after his dreams, from searching for who he really is, from stepping into the world to gather bits and pieces to complete his life, to be complete.
Kame knew Jin was a dreamer like himself, the only difference between them was that, like Uchi, he kept himself grounded in a place where it was safe, where taking risks wouldn't hurt so badly when he failed. Jin was a lot braver. Jin took the chance to spread out his wings and did his best to succeed even if it meant that he needed to sacrifice some things. Apparently, those things included Kame, KAT-TUN, and even more than half of JE. But of course, Kame knew better than to judge Jin; label him selfish and a traitor. Kame liked to believe he knew better but there was a part of him that told him otherwise.
It still hurts. Every time he saw Jin, he was reminded of how perfectly imperfect life had been when they were still together. In the old days, it was only Jin that mattered to him, and he was all Jin could see. There even came a point in time where he felt like he was a beautiful rose, in full bloom, bleeding in the deepest shade of red in the middle of the desert with the way Jin treated him, looked at him, loved him. But even as a teenager, Kame knew time changed people. Time and change were vital parts of life. Kame knew it would only be a matter of time before it would come and change Jin. He was aware of it, he had expected it. Still, Kame hoped for things to never change.
But it did.
When he heard the music come to a stop, Kame pulled himself together and focused on Uchi. He made a point to always watch Uchi's rehearsals for his upcoming play. It had been ten months since Jin left, six months since he and Uchi fell into a relationship that had no label. Yet.
"Kazuya," Uchi's eyes were bright and happy, like stars on the vast night sky when he saw him.
Whenever he saw Uchi smile, Kame was reminded of himself. He knew what Uchi felt for him. Uchi knew how he felt for Jin and seeing Uchi fake a happy smile for him every day pricked at his heart like the way it did for Jin. Kame knew Uchi had always had a special place in his heart. Uchi. Uchi. Uchi. He felt sad, even cried, when Uchi had been reprimanded and sent to LA. It hurt but not the way he hurt when Jin went on hiatus five years ago. But right now, his heart ached whenever he saw a tinge of sadness thinly veiling Uchi's eyes.
"I missed you." Kame didn't know what got into him to say those words but he knew he meant what he had said. When Uchi smiled, this time genuine, Kame felt his heart lighten up a bit and he couldn't resist kissing Uchi.
Maybe he's falling, Kame thought while his lips were pressed against Uchi’s. Uchi's arms wrapped around him tightly and he deepened their kiss. He tasted sweet, something new yet addicting; he tasted different from Jin. He didn't reek of alcohol and cigarettes, nor a spicy musk. He didn't feel familiar, he didn't feel like home because Uchi felt more of hope, a ray of sun in the midst of darkness, of a new beginning.
When they broke the kiss, Uchi tried to catch his breath but there was a hint of smile tugging on the sides of his lips and his eyes reflected happiness. He looked like a child, adorable even in Kame's eyes and Kame had no choice but to kiss him again.
"I love you," Uchi said softly, stroking Kame's cheek lightly with the pad of his thumb, tracing the sharp angle of Kame's cheekbone. "You know that I always have, right, Kazuya?"
"I know." Kame whispered lowly. "I'm sor-"
"Don't be. Don't think, don't force yourself." Uchi said, pressing his lips on top of Kame's head. "I'm willing to wait, Kazuya."
Hearing those words from Uchi made Kame feel guilty. He knew Uchi would never let go. Kame searched for Uchi's hand, kissed the skin his lips could reach before he pressed it against his chest, just above where his heart lay.
"Just a little more," Kame said truthfully. "Don't get tired of waiting..." His voice faltered, uncertain.
"I won't." Uchi pulled Kame closer to him. "I won't because you mean a lot to me. Let me try to fix you, Kazuya."
--
Kazuya had always been there for him.
Whenever someone asked him to describe what Kame meant to him, those words were the first ones to always come to his mind. At first, he thought it was just childhood infatuation; just like how Kusano must've felt for Kame before. They were great friends, the three of them but he and Kusano knew it was Jin who had always been the one to take the bigger part in Kame's life. When he was given the chance to work with Kame, Uchi felt really happy. It was like a dream come true.
It was during the filming of YamaNade that he came to realize he felt something deeper for Kame. It was a feeling of a more intimate kind. He could still remember that day. It was raining outside, the pelting rain coming down in fat droplets; cold and unforgiving. He could still remember the momentary lightning that cut jagged lines into the sky, resembling a wide sheet of black velvet. But what he could remember most was the sight of Kame drowning in his tears as he looked outside the window.
It only took him one look to know who those tears were for.
Ever since then, Uchi had made a promise to himself that he would never allow Kame to cry again. He just wasn't aware that by trying to protect Kame, he would fall deeper than he already had.
Sometimes, he still wonders how Akanishi could live without Kame when he couldn't even stand the sight of Kame looking so lost.
--
He had followed Jin's every step. He knew how much Jin loved his 'crew'. He had read about how Jin felt so free when he was finally able to go solo. He had heard about his 'love life'. Those things really shouldn't have bothered him anymore; he knew there was nothing he could do. He wouldn't want to be someone clinging to a past that no longer had a chance at some form of a future. This time around, Kame knew there was no turning back. Jin is now on his own, doing what he wanted most, finally living his dream and he knew, he felt that he was no longer needed. Everything had changed and there was nothing to look back to. Not even those memories he had created with Jin and had stored in the back of his mind.
This time, it was all about moving on.
When Kame deemed it was time, he invited Uchi to his home one night. There was nothing really unusual about it since lately, they were constantly together. They did the usual things - eating dinner together, watching, and talking in bed. But things took a sudden turn when what should be a casual conversation between them turned into an unexpected kiss that quickly escalated into passion and ended up with them sleeping together. Uchi did it out of love. Kame allowed it to happen for the purpose of forgetting and letting go.
"Kazuya," Uchi finally had the courage to speak up as he and Kame lay on the bed, breathing calmly. "I'm sor-"
"Don't be." Kazuya interjected and inched himself closer to Uchi's warmth. "I'm moving on. Will you help me, Hiroki?" He asked, eyes staring straight into Uchi's.
Uchi answered with a smile that crinkled the sides of his eyes. It was the brightest Kazuya had ever seen. It couldn't even compare with Jin's childish grins.
"I will, Kazu." Uchi whispered against the other man's lips and then kissed his Kazuya.
Author: queen_kat_tun
Beta: bankai_babe
Pairing: mentions of Jin x Kame, Uchi x Kame
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst, Romance
Disclaimer: All standard RPS disclaimer applies.
Word Count: 1532
Summary: Kame knew things would never be the same ever since Jin left the group.
A/N: A bit Kame-centric. No happy ending for Akame… :\ and yes, I now officially ship Uchi/Kame. <3
--
Looking at Uchi was like looking into a mirror. He could see himself in the younger man and was aware of the fact that what drew him to the younger male most were his traits of perseverance, optimism and how Uchi cherished everything that had been a part of his life.
Kame knew things would never be the same after Jin left the group. He knew about it. The others knew about it and they all knew that there was no point in holding Jin back so they decided to let him go and pursue their own dreams in their own ways.
What he didn't expect was the fact that with it came Jin's decision to stop whatever it was that they had. When Jin came to him and told him of his dreams and all that he wanted in his life, Kame knew he wouldn't be able to say no. He couldn't. He shouldn't. He didn't have the right to stop Jin from chasing after his dreams, from searching for who he really is, from stepping into the world to gather bits and pieces to complete his life, to be complete.
Kame knew Jin was a dreamer like himself, the only difference between them was that, like Uchi, he kept himself grounded in a place where it was safe, where taking risks wouldn't hurt so badly when he failed. Jin was a lot braver. Jin took the chance to spread out his wings and did his best to succeed even if it meant that he needed to sacrifice some things. Apparently, those things included Kame, KAT-TUN, and even more than half of JE. But of course, Kame knew better than to judge Jin; label him selfish and a traitor. Kame liked to believe he knew better but there was a part of him that told him otherwise.
It still hurts. Every time he saw Jin, he was reminded of how perfectly imperfect life had been when they were still together. In the old days, it was only Jin that mattered to him, and he was all Jin could see. There even came a point in time where he felt like he was a beautiful rose, in full bloom, bleeding in the deepest shade of red in the middle of the desert with the way Jin treated him, looked at him, loved him. But even as a teenager, Kame knew time changed people. Time and change were vital parts of life. Kame knew it would only be a matter of time before it would come and change Jin. He was aware of it, he had expected it. Still, Kame hoped for things to never change.
But it did.
When he heard the music come to a stop, Kame pulled himself together and focused on Uchi. He made a point to always watch Uchi's rehearsals for his upcoming play. It had been ten months since Jin left, six months since he and Uchi fell into a relationship that had no label. Yet.
"Kazuya," Uchi's eyes were bright and happy, like stars on the vast night sky when he saw him.
Whenever he saw Uchi smile, Kame was reminded of himself. He knew what Uchi felt for him. Uchi knew how he felt for Jin and seeing Uchi fake a happy smile for him every day pricked at his heart like the way it did for Jin. Kame knew Uchi had always had a special place in his heart. Uchi. Uchi. Uchi. He felt sad, even cried, when Uchi had been reprimanded and sent to LA. It hurt but not the way he hurt when Jin went on hiatus five years ago. But right now, his heart ached whenever he saw a tinge of sadness thinly veiling Uchi's eyes.
"I missed you." Kame didn't know what got into him to say those words but he knew he meant what he had said. When Uchi smiled, this time genuine, Kame felt his heart lighten up a bit and he couldn't resist kissing Uchi.
Maybe he's falling, Kame thought while his lips were pressed against Uchi’s. Uchi's arms wrapped around him tightly and he deepened their kiss. He tasted sweet, something new yet addicting; he tasted different from Jin. He didn't reek of alcohol and cigarettes, nor a spicy musk. He didn't feel familiar, he didn't feel like home because Uchi felt more of hope, a ray of sun in the midst of darkness, of a new beginning.
When they broke the kiss, Uchi tried to catch his breath but there was a hint of smile tugging on the sides of his lips and his eyes reflected happiness. He looked like a child, adorable even in Kame's eyes and Kame had no choice but to kiss him again.
"I love you," Uchi said softly, stroking Kame's cheek lightly with the pad of his thumb, tracing the sharp angle of Kame's cheekbone. "You know that I always have, right, Kazuya?"
"I know." Kame whispered lowly. "I'm sor-"
"Don't be. Don't think, don't force yourself." Uchi said, pressing his lips on top of Kame's head. "I'm willing to wait, Kazuya."
Hearing those words from Uchi made Kame feel guilty. He knew Uchi would never let go. Kame searched for Uchi's hand, kissed the skin his lips could reach before he pressed it against his chest, just above where his heart lay.
"Just a little more," Kame said truthfully. "Don't get tired of waiting..." His voice faltered, uncertain.
"I won't." Uchi pulled Kame closer to him. "I won't because you mean a lot to me. Let me try to fix you, Kazuya."
--
Kazuya had always been there for him.
Whenever someone asked him to describe what Kame meant to him, those words were the first ones to always come to his mind. At first, he thought it was just childhood infatuation; just like how Kusano must've felt for Kame before. They were great friends, the three of them but he and Kusano knew it was Jin who had always been the one to take the bigger part in Kame's life. When he was given the chance to work with Kame, Uchi felt really happy. It was like a dream come true.
It was during the filming of YamaNade that he came to realize he felt something deeper for Kame. It was a feeling of a more intimate kind. He could still remember that day. It was raining outside, the pelting rain coming down in fat droplets; cold and unforgiving. He could still remember the momentary lightning that cut jagged lines into the sky, resembling a wide sheet of black velvet. But what he could remember most was the sight of Kame drowning in his tears as he looked outside the window.
It only took him one look to know who those tears were for.
Ever since then, Uchi had made a promise to himself that he would never allow Kame to cry again. He just wasn't aware that by trying to protect Kame, he would fall deeper than he already had.
Sometimes, he still wonders how Akanishi could live without Kame when he couldn't even stand the sight of Kame looking so lost.
--
He had followed Jin's every step. He knew how much Jin loved his 'crew'. He had read about how Jin felt so free when he was finally able to go solo. He had heard about his 'love life'. Those things really shouldn't have bothered him anymore; he knew there was nothing he could do. He wouldn't want to be someone clinging to a past that no longer had a chance at some form of a future. This time around, Kame knew there was no turning back. Jin is now on his own, doing what he wanted most, finally living his dream and he knew, he felt that he was no longer needed. Everything had changed and there was nothing to look back to. Not even those memories he had created with Jin and had stored in the back of his mind.
This time, it was all about moving on.
When Kame deemed it was time, he invited Uchi to his home one night. There was nothing really unusual about it since lately, they were constantly together. They did the usual things - eating dinner together, watching, and talking in bed. But things took a sudden turn when what should be a casual conversation between them turned into an unexpected kiss that quickly escalated into passion and ended up with them sleeping together. Uchi did it out of love. Kame allowed it to happen for the purpose of forgetting and letting go.
"Kazuya," Uchi finally had the courage to speak up as he and Kame lay on the bed, breathing calmly. "I'm sor-"
"Don't be." Kazuya interjected and inched himself closer to Uchi's warmth. "I'm moving on. Will you help me, Hiroki?" He asked, eyes staring straight into Uchi's.
Uchi answered with a smile that crinkled the sides of his eyes. It was the brightest Kazuya had ever seen. It couldn't even compare with Jin's childish grins.
"I will, Kazu." Uchi whispered against the other man's lips and then kissed his Kazuya.