Campaign of Distraction Prologue
Introduction
It appropriate that Nick gets his Congressional internship by exploiting his celebrity and connections. Politics, so they say, is all about who you know. And while he may not be the only nineteen-year old to ever don Congress’s infamous red intern badge, he’s definitely lived more than most nineteen year olds. After all, how many of the twenty-somethings traipsing around their college campuses have traveled the world and made millions in record sales? He doesn’t need three letters of recommendation to convince anyone that he’s ready to take on Capitol Hill. And anyway, his resume would definitely fill way more space than the suggested two-page limit.
So when he puts the idea of a United States Senate internship to Kevin Sr., it’s only a matter of days before his people are in negotiations with the Congressional staff of Senator Cornyn [i]. And while thousands of hopeful college kids are submitting their resumes and applications into the great internet void, Nick Jonas has begun to plot a political career that starts with an internship and ends with him picking out new furniture for the Oval Office.
Nick’s not unaware that most people (interviewers, family, his fans) think the “Nick Jonas, 2040” thing is a joke. And it is definitely a favorite conversation piece in interviews and a great theme for gifts-he can’t remember a recent birthday where he didn’t haul in a dozen presidential themed parcels.
But, well… he’s not joking.
Really. It’s the exact sort of goal he has to have. When you’ve seemingly attained your greatest dreams before you were old enough to even vote for the president, you better have a pretty spectacular encore performance. Long-term goals, plans in five-year increments, check-lists, that’s what he’s all about. Currently his short-term list looks like this:
However, the more ambitious short, yet, long-term list looks like this:
He considers the list to be a pretty comprehensive catalogue of his imminent future goals minus one critical item. If he could write it down on paper there would be a giant red-flagged, highlighted section reading:
So as Kevin continues his quest to impregnate his wife, Frankie prepares to take on actual school (like in a real building, with other kids!), and Joe heads off on his first solo arena-concert tour, Nick is more than ready to flee the nest and get started on crossing off some of his to-do list. His family won’t even notice he’s MIA anyway. Next
[i] The Senator that Nick interns for. A classic TX Republican http://www.johncornyn.com/
It appropriate that Nick gets his Congressional internship by exploiting his celebrity and connections. Politics, so they say, is all about who you know. And while he may not be the only nineteen-year old to ever don Congress’s infamous red intern badge, he’s definitely lived more than most nineteen year olds. After all, how many of the twenty-somethings traipsing around their college campuses have traveled the world and made millions in record sales? He doesn’t need three letters of recommendation to convince anyone that he’s ready to take on Capitol Hill. And anyway, his resume would definitely fill way more space than the suggested two-page limit.
So when he puts the idea of a United States Senate internship to Kevin Sr., it’s only a matter of days before his people are in negotiations with the Congressional staff of Senator Cornyn [i]. And while thousands of hopeful college kids are submitting their resumes and applications into the great internet void, Nick Jonas has begun to plot a political career that starts with an internship and ends with him picking out new furniture for the Oval Office.
Nick’s not unaware that most people (interviewers, family, his fans) think the “Nick Jonas, 2040” thing is a joke. And it is definitely a favorite conversation piece in interviews and a great theme for gifts-he can’t remember a recent birthday where he didn’t haul in a dozen presidential themed parcels.
But, well… he’s not joking.
Really. It’s the exact sort of goal he has to have. When you’ve seemingly attained your greatest dreams before you were old enough to even vote for the president, you better have a pretty spectacular encore performance. Long-term goals, plans in five-year increments, check-lists, that’s what he’s all about. Currently his short-term list looks like this:
- Set-up Senate internship
- Ask about duties
- Office organization
- Dress code
- Find housing in the District of Columbia
- (a normal place)
- Should I take the mustang?
- Read
- Congress and It’s Members
- The 48 Laws of Power
However, the more ambitious short, yet, long-term list looks like this:
- Senate internship:
- Form vital connections
- Acquire inside look at politics
- College (online if possible)
- Political science or history
- Music minor? (I could probably teach it)
- Political science or history
- Run for Congress
- Per the Constitution must be twenty-five years old (Article 1, Section 2)
- Can I spend my own money on this?
He considers the list to be a pretty comprehensive catalogue of his imminent future goals minus one critical item. If he could write it down on paper there would be a giant red-flagged, highlighted section reading:
- NO JOE THOUGHTS!
- Grow-up and get a life like Joe has,
- Stop being such a perv (about your freakin’ brother!),
- And, seriously, you’re going to hell.
So as Kevin continues his quest to impregnate his wife, Frankie prepares to take on actual school (like in a real building, with other kids!), and Joe heads off on his first solo arena-concert tour, Nick is more than ready to flee the nest and get started on crossing off some of his to-do list. His family won’t even notice he’s MIA anyway. Next
[i] The Senator that Nick interns for. A classic TX Republican http://www.johncornyn.com/