i have hit rock bottom. you know when everything seems like hell and you dont think it can get worse, and then it does? im there. and I feel petty and stupid for feeling this way but I do and it wont stop. it is a constant buzz of miserable-ness. i try and plug my ears but I can't squeeze hard enough. perhaps I've gone mad. Its an awful feeling to ( Read more... )

wow today sucks. i wish i liked people but i just dont and cant.
sdfbsdfb

i feel so stupid. like.... everything i think is wrong, every thing I find true is false. like everyone is tricking me. like things will never be okay.
but they will, and they have been.
and i need to remember that.

god i wish i didnt feel so god damn lonely here.
hmmmm.

what the fuck is wrong with people?
I understand trying to have fun, but acting like your in fucking middle school?

hey dumb asses, dont egg someones house in the fucking middle of the day in your car that the person will recognize???

i dont know, i dont get it. theres really no point to being nice. because random fucking people who you never say a ( Read more... )

holy shit

sarah and I need to plan out europe, now

the two highlights of my week have been :
hiking with branden 
and tonights show.
they were amazingly crazy. i loved it.

i dont want to work these last few months. i want to spend time appreciating the people who are okay here.
i feel like a douche bag for being so.. so.. fucking dumb.
i wish i had know ( Read more... )

i was having a wonderful day. i didnt feel melancholy or depressed or even down ( Read more... )

IVE GOT IT. pegged it. at least for now. the horrible thing is, its the type I cant do anything about untill im not in bangor ( Read more... )

This weekend was hard to handle.
But I made it!
smoked a lot of cigarettes that I shouldnt have
ate too much.
got upset a few times.
but its alright.
I'm home now because I needed to sleep. I didnt have enough time this weekend to get that whole sleep thing in.

im done with responsibility!

I'm crazy-selfish ( Read more... )

two more things ( Read more... )